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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 53
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I think not. It makes no sense for a man and woman to part on friendly terms, because if they were on friendly terms they wouldn't part.

For some, life isn't this black and white. You CAN date someone, mutually decide that you enjoy each other's company but getting involved seriously isn't the best idea for either of you, discontinue dating and remain friends. Imagine!
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 54
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/26/2010 9:14:52 AM
^^^hey whoa, that's too many of you on one page saying it ain't black and white

we're on the road to perversion
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 55
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/26/2010 9:15:25 AM
For some, life isn't this black and white. You CAN date someone, mutually decide that you enjoy each other's company but getting involved seriously isn't the best idea for either of you, discontinue dating and remain friends. Imagine!


I'm not referring to people I dated and didn't get serious with. I'm with Abelian on this one---once they are no longer my husband/partner/fiancee, they are no longer anything. Once I close a door, I don't reopen it.

I believe keeping an ex around makes it difficult to move on and rebuild your life. Sometimes a clean break is needed, where you decide it's better to have the good memories---rather than getting angry with each other through the difficulties of trying to remain friends.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 56
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/26/2010 9:26:42 AM
^^^^Agreed that SOME cannot move on if talking to an ex. However I only believe it's really an issue if one or both haven't moved on and can't accept that...and that's a topic for another thread. Some break up and never speak again - that's their choice. It doesn't mean however, that those who break up, get past it and continue to talk can't do so and move on without a problem.

Again the world is full of people who are all very different about what they can and can't do or handle. So while I can stay friendly with an ex and still meet and date new people, some can't or won't - and I don't think they are wrong because they don't follow my way of doing things.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 57
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/26/2010 2:11:22 PM

I didnt know there was such definitions. Im suprised that you bought a dictionary to learn about sex but still fail miserably at the theory. Hope your better on the practical.



You sound like the martini girl.


I suggest that you refrain from personal insults.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 58
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/26/2010 2:38:11 PM

For some, life isn't this black and white.

It's possible be black and white about some things without life being black and white.

You CAN date someone, mutually decide that you enjoy each other's company but getting involved seriously isn't the best idea for either of you, discontinue dating and remain friends. Imagine!

That might be entirely possible, but I have no idea why I would want to. I can't think of how remaining friends with an ex would improve any aspect of my life or be a plus for a future relationship.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 59
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/26/2010 2:51:52 PM

It's possible be black and white about some things without life being black and white.

Agreed. However there are people who tend to be black and white about most things in the same way as a topic like this.

That might be entirely possible, but I have no idea why I would want to. I can't think of how remaining friends with an ex would improve any aspect of my life or be a plus for a future relationship.

I referred to this in message 62. While something may not be something you'd do, there are people who would do things differently and it doesn't make anyone's way of doing things wrong or right. I don't expect everyone to think like me, therefore if I do things differently than someone here, ideally they should also respect that my way isn't wrong and theirs right overall.
 Boon100
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 60
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/26/2010 3:10:21 PM
well if no hanky panky has taken place then yes i can b friends.
 wings on my butt
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 61
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/26/2010 4:51:57 PM
Men are for sex not friends!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 62
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/27/2010 6:52:01 AM

That might be entirely possible, but I have no idea why I would want to. I can't think of how remaining friends with an ex would improve any aspect of my life or be a plus for a future relationship.


It is entirely possible. I know: I have done it.

The question, I believe, was if it is possible to remain friends, and it is.

Applying personal habits, beliefs, etc., to the wider scope rarely works. While for you, not remaining friends doesn't work, it works for others. We can only decided what is best for us individuals, but our decisions are not one size fits all (as I said before).

So, to reiterate the correct response to the OP, yes, men can continue to be friends with women if they are not dating. But no, not everyone can do this.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 63
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History
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/27/2010 7:18:10 AM
I can do it and have done it many times; except for once recently. She was a really good friend, who "asked" and I "put out". TOTALLY ruined the friendship. That was the first time it had ever happened like that to me. Usually My scenes are a lot like Womaninprogress's scenarios. Never will I cross the line again, it's not worth it.
 curmudgeon_ed
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 64
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/28/2010 5:38:17 PM
why would a woman whose interested in dating someone thats ended up rejected for a romantic relationship thats exclusive with a man want to be friends after the rejection..

a few things come to mind...

mental abuse at the hands of the rejector when she is made to watch him date someone else...yeah..in what world is that healthy and what kind of man would expect her be so accepting when he knows the object of her affection is him, but he's rejected her...yah...sound mentally healthy to me pal

so she be made to feel like the stepping stone to someone else that she was..sounds like such a loving friendship to me

..and my favorite is that the "friendship" is offered as a consolation prize devoid of any genuiness or sincerity...

keep justifying your actions mr heel...whatever it takes for you to emotionally defend yourself at someone elses expense...

ladies..dont ever settle for friendship as a consolation prize..it reaks of desperation..he knows it and so do we...that desperation will be another "tool" used to again reject the same woman.....
 keystone77
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 65
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/29/2010 10:38:41 PM
You may have answered your own question. . .if a lasting relationship starts with being friends with one another, then they both wanted more than friendship. That is, there was an attraction beyond platonic.

The way i see it, or the way it's always worked for me or not worked, there's different degrees of friendship. . .question is and again, you've answered, what happens when one person wants more? The person that doesn't is still looking for the one. What happens when that person meets someone and the dating process begins?

Does the friendship remain the same. . .don't believe it does! Now you have a new friend you're pursuing for more than friendship so where does that put friend number 1. . .backseat!

It all boils down to the degree of friendship. . .casual or best buddies! Maybe casual with no feelings on either part (which i find personally difficult to believe) can survive, but otherwise not a chance will it survive remaining the same!

Just my 2 cents!
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 66
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/29/2010 10:43:00 PM
The only way a man can be friends with a woman if they are not dating is if she doesn't give him a chubby and doesn't want to dip his banana in her pancake batter and vice versa.

You cannot be friends with the opposite sex when every time you see them you desire them even more.
 essence74
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/30/2010 2:25:26 PM
Everyone has their own terms and definitions of what they call a"friend." I think the core of any true friendship or relationship is unconditional on both sides. From this course, it makes it much easier to remain friends afterward. Usually when it fails, its due to the result of someone still having expectations or resentment, which is their own insecurity, not a result of the relationship. True happiness is an inside job.
 iluvreading
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 69
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/30/2010 5:47:28 PM
What! You don't want to be friends with half the people in the human race, becuase they aren't sleeping with you? That is just friggin silly!
 Proventus
Joined: 12/26/2010
Msg: 70
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/30/2010 6:14:28 PM
After dating them? Maybe. After having sex with them? Never.

I've been friends with women, but the minute I have an SO, I deep six the friendship. So then you couldn't really call it a friendship to begin with right?

I don't avoid the women if I bump into them, but they're nothing more than acquaintances by that point, and you can bet your boots I wouldn't be taking their calls or calling them. lol.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 71
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 12/30/2010 6:57:55 PM

In a dating scenario, people can also part without without animosity.

Just because I have no animosity toward someone, doesn't mean that person is a friend.

In one of my cases, I dated a man for three months. We enjoyed each other's company in many ways, but we both knew that it would turn into anything VERY serious for several reasons. When an old flame made contact with me, the man whom I was dating told me to "go for it" because he knew I still had feelings for the old boyfriend.

Well, that's one of the many reasons to not date someone who hangs on to baggage.

Today, the guy I was dating is in a happy relationship with a woman who is now my friend, as well. The old flame and I are back together for the fourth time. I think it will "stick" this time.

If not, there's always chapter 5.
 Email Tom Now
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 72
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 1/1/2011 5:48:10 PM
all i can tell you is if my female friends are attractive...

I WANT TO SCREW THEM, DATING OR NOT DATING.

WELLLLLL, that's what guys do!
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 73
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 1/1/2011 7:26:33 PM
Personally I think that many people use the term friends too loosely. Good acquaintance, work friend, hanging out friend, girlfriend and so on. I have a few very close friends men and women ... all the rest of my "friends" is a term for better than acquaintance, but not close enough to confide in.

I rarely keep in touch with men I use to date, and they might have been friends, but now they are friends from my past. I like to keep my core friends thats enough friends for me.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 74
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 1/1/2011 11:26:35 PM
not from where I sit. theres a reason one of us walked, it should just be left alone.
 TheToefactor
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 75
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 1/2/2011 12:06:56 AM

I am friends with all my ex-boyfriends and there is nothing more than just a friendship. I guess this stems from me serving in the military with guys that were strictly friends as we lived in close quarters and fraternizing was not tolerated. After a while; I was just one of the guys to them. I guess for civilians that might be harder as you aren't depending on that person to keep you alive. You just don't cross the line when lives are at stake.



don't ask don't tell.



 2nd_chance_again
Joined: 12/6/2010
Msg: 76
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 1/2/2011 1:49:30 PM
If there is an understanding that friends is it, then of course, if you are with someone tho,
remember act as if she was sitting right there, don't do anything you wouldn't want her to do with her male friends! just food for thought!
 IHateBarstars
Joined: 11/6/2010
Msg: 77
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 1/2/2011 2:30:04 PM
It's do-able. However, over time if the two friends are consistently single or become "best friends," then not so much. When you have a friend who you constantly go to when you'e happy/sad/mad chances are one or the both of them will get attached and if the other doesn't feel the same way then eventually they'll drift apart. Although, this isn't always the case but in tons of cases it is.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 78
Can Men continue to be friends with Women if they are not dating?
Posted: 1/2/2011 6:41:56 PM


I suppose its an individual thing.

Personally my attitude towards every woman I've ever dated in the past is that they can ALL go to hell.


Love it Love that you don't sugar coat it. That wold pretty much be my opinion if I had had the nerve to say it
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