Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner i      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 302
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheatingPage 15 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
What about when someone hires a PI to follow their spouse around? Isn't that an invasion of privacy? No laws against that I am aware of.

I didn't hire someone. I asked my husband's GF's ex-husband (that's a mouthful) to take some pictures. He was a cop and had access that I didn't have. He did, he gave them to me and I handed them to my husband. He still tried the "It isn't what it looks like...." lingo. Ummmm ~ I may not be all that bright, but I know a BJ in a car when I see one in print. Needless to say? I bought her ex a drink, sent the husband to her house, sent her flowers and lived happily ever after. Sometimes what we "know" and what we "KNOW" can surely set us free. As for snooping? I don't bother. I'm not married, no one truly owes me anything more than honesty the best they can muster and if it's not working ~ well, we both have the option to walk away. I learned over the years that there really are some things I'd just rather not know, because I likely already KNOW. And when I KNOW? I'm not sticking around long, no need for visuals or verifications at that point. At least not for me. JMO
 Artful22
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 303
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 8/28/2011 11:33:17 AM
To the original poster: What could possibly be the point of snooping around for clues that your partner has been cheating? If you are that suspicious of your partner and your snooping is not the result of a paranoid personality, you obviously don't trust your partner. Doesn't that tell you everything you need to know?

Dishonesty reveals itself sooner or later whether you are a snoop or not. While I was being a loving faithful wife, raising children and working a career, my ex decided he needed an affair. I knew nothing about it. Ten years later, I asked for a divorce based on issues not connected to unfaithfulness. Eventually, he revealed the affair, saying he needed to unburden himself. It was immaterial that he cheated because we were headed for divorce anyway. By cheating he lived with guilt for years, and he will live the rest of his life knowing he lied to the woman he loved, married and with whom he created a family. That speaks more about who he is as a person not about who I am or our marriage.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 304
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 8/28/2011 12:59:25 PM

For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating...
Might be singing a different tune depending on the outcome of this case:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40820892/ns/technology_and_science-security

Man faces charges for reading wife's e-mail

Husband used his wife's password to access her Gmail inbox

Leon Walker, 33, who says he learned of his wife's affair by reading her e-mail on their computer, faces trial on felony computer misuse charges.


ROCHESTER HILLS, Mich. — A Michigan man who says he learned of his wife's affair by reading her e-mail on their computer faces trial Feb. 7 on felony computer misuse charges.

Thirty-three-year-old Leon Walker used his wife's password to get into her Gmail account. Clara Walker filed for a divorce, which was granted this month.

Leon Walker tells The Oakland Press of Pontiac he was trying to protect the couple's children from neglect and calls the case a "miscarriage of justice."

Oakland County Assistant Prosecutor Sydney Turner says the charge is justified.

Privacy law writer Frederick Lane tells the Detroit Free Press the law typically is used to prosecute identity theft and stealing trade secrets. He says he questions if a wife can expect privacy on a computer she shares with her husband.


I suggest that everyone newly come to this topic read the link offered in the OT and I believe there have been subsequent posts offering links to stories that add more information.

In my opinion, this story came about for reasons other than pure journalistic reporting of the news.
As for snooping in someone else's email, their wallet, their cell phone, I don't see myself doing that unless it was in aid of preventing harm done by a REAL crime.

I am not particularly in favor of 'snooping' in a marital or family situation, but neither do I support it being made into an actionable offense...the occasions where "snooping "is "justified" are rare, but they do exist.

Also, let me make it clear that my personal opinions about this case do NOT reflect that I am taking the wifes' side,the husbands' side or that anyone is being oppressed or wronged.
My personal opinion is that the reporter(s) and editors(s) who allowed themselves-IN MY OPINION-to become a tool of the defendant and his represention, did the PUBLIC a disservice by using misleading headlines/lead captions.

I realize that this opinion is not directly about snooping or prosecuting a snoop-but to speak to the question raised by the distorted information, and give my personal answer, I would not "snoop" in a spouse,SOs, friends or relatives' email except in very limited,narrow and VERY dire circumstances-I'm talking about REAL crime/REAL danger.
To snoop on suspicion of "cheating"? No, I wouldn't. So I don't guess I'll ever go to jail for THAT particular transgression.
Cindy O
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 305
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 8/28/2011 4:31:21 PM
The volume of females that have no problem with privacy being violated in marriage is yet more justification for never getting married. Marriage does not overwrite privacy. National security is not suppose to either, but of course the weak minded and cowardly authoritarians will say otherwise.

I know in my own case I had a friend who snooped in my emails using a key logger on her computer. She thought I was guilty of something, when it turned out it was her conniving son and his little friend that were trying to break us up. We broke up two weeks later and I never spoke to her again, largely over what she did, but also over her attitude about how I was a man and no man could be trusted.

As other posters said, privacy is paramount. It is a law and a founding social principle for a reason. If the other person lacks that much trust, or if the violation of privacy is perfectly allowed to them (because they are a woman and their target is a man), then they have no business in a relationship in the first place. Don't get me started on how state sanctioned snooping is totally immoral.

Too many humans simple lack respect for their fellow human beings. Those people deserve neither respect nor compassion.

 Artful22
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 306
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:19:44 PM
sensualseekerns, don't think only women snoop.

My ex had a scary looking PI follow me which caused me to think I was being stalked until I realized what was going on. Ironically, it wasn't me cheating it was my ex. Because I'd asked for a divorce (based on other things, I didn't know about his cheating), he was certain I must be having an affair.

Whether it's a PI on your tail or hacking your email account (he did that too), it is wrong. And that sort of behaviour tells you it's time to end the relationship. Honest people neither condone nor are threatened by snoops, they leave them.

I know everyone's situation is different, but for those gathering information for a divorce case consider that you could loose more than you gain, beyond illegally obtaining evidence and violating privacy laws. I gladly paid for a simple non-contested divorce to ensure no lingering ties to my ex. I hung on to a job I hated so I could carry the house and kids. As I watch friends deal with their ex partners in court over alimony and financial issues years after the fact, I'm convinced it was the best thing I ever did. Forget revenge, it emotionally imprisons you.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 307
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 9/7/2011 12:02:03 PM
update.

Taken from Leon Walkers Facebook page :

Yesterday the Michigan Court of Appeals, after reviewing the Circuit Court's opinion on why the case should proceed and both the Defense & Prosecution briefs regarding the proceedings, GRANTED Leon's motion for Leave to Appeal. This not only continues the stay placed on the case, but it allows the Court of Appeals to take the case, review additional briefs, and dismiss the charges if they decide to do so. Needless to say, the writing is on the wall.

In other action, the OC Prosecutor appealed to the Michigan Supreme Court on the second/vindictive charge in hopes that they would would prosecution on that charge to continue. They were quickly DENIED. Another rebuke of the Prosecutor from a higher court.

Justice is occurring in bits and pieces, but victor is within sight!

https://www.facebook.com/official.leon.walker.legal.defense


For those interested/FWIW
http://leonwalker.com/
He's still using the media...now to solicit donations for his defense fund.

I did not find any similar site for his ex-wife.
Cindy O


Of course there isn't one for the wife. She isn't having to defend herself. She has the state going after him.
 romeoproductionz
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 308
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 9/7/2011 1:29:26 PM
my soon to be ex is a snoop...it only shows how weak they are...i refuse to be spying on a person...crazy how people will try to "keep you in line" by watching you.. i'd run like hell if a chick wants to spy on me,right after i laugh at her for being a loser..
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 309
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 9/8/2011 11:59:44 AM

Taken from Leon Walkers Facebook page :

Yesterday the Michigan Court of Appeals, after reviewing the Circuit Court's opinion on why the case should proceed and both the Defense & Prosecution briefs regarding the proceedings, GRANTED Leon's motion for Leave to Appeal. This not only continues the stay placed on the case, but it allows the Court of Appeals to take the case, review additional briefs, and dismiss the charges if they decide to do so. Needless to say, the writing is on the wall.

In other action, the OC Prosecutor appealed to the Michigan Supreme Court on the second/vindictive charge in hopes that they would would prosecution on that charge to continue. They were quickly DENIED. Another rebuke of the Prosecutor from a higher court.

Justice is occurring in bits and pieces, but victor is within sight!


It is about time! This was nothing but sour grapes from a ex that got a overzealous prosecutor to do her dirty work.

The state should be held liable for what this cost this man and the prosecutor should be disbarred.




For those interested/FWIW
http://leonwalker.com/
He's still using the media...now to solicit donations for his defense fund.

I did not find any similar site for his ex-wife.
Cindy O


Please explain why she would need a fund when she has her own personal state prosecutor doing her bidding?
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 310
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 9/8/2011 4:42:54 PM
I'm thinking myself it's not looking too good for the state.

Yes I still feel it was not right of him to snoop like he did. BUT I still maintain he broke no laws and should not be charged,thats what this whole thing hinges on.

It doesn't matter if I find his actions deplorable or anyone else does. Until he has committed a crime he should not be charged as such. I still feel he was unjustly charged and hope he walks. The law simply does not fit the charges as I have maintained all along.

I would hope that he is able to seek some form of redress for being dragged thru this mess either against the state,the ex or both.

Any way it turns out it has been a standard setting case,in my eyes.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 311
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/13/2012 12:50:24 PM
Cleared of snooping charges!

dropped,why? because the witch was doing the same to him...

From the article:

Leon Walker was set to go on trial Monday charged with computer hacking. He was charged in 2010 under the state’s computer hacking law after prosecutors learned he had been reading his wife, Clara Walker’s, e-mail to determine if she was having an affair.

But prosecutors learned late this week that Clara had been doing her own snooping when her attorney in her divorce and custody battle turned over a CD of e-mails by Clara admitting she had been reading text messages on his phone while the two were married in 2009.

“When we learned this, we immediately moved to drop the charges,” said assistant prosecutor Paul Walton. The charge was dismissed this morning. “She is a witness in this case, and it becomes a Fifth Amendment issue.”

http://www.freep.com/article/20120713/NEWS03/120713065/email-snooping-felony-charge-dismissed


All this time and hell he has been put through....
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 312
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:46:03 AM
i think this is silly. if you are married and you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, well, i think you have a right to know. the manner of discovery shouldn't make a difference. i suppose if the man had the money, he could have hired a private investigator to follow his wife around for a while. i suppose THAT would have been legal, but checking his wife's email is not? give me a break!
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 313
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 6:18:55 AM
I can't believe how many people believe destroying or disposing of articles like mobile phones is funny. They cost hundreds of dollars (real replacement price, not subsidized hidden-in-fees price) and what that last poster (well, obviously a troll) claimed he did was assault, theft and malicious mischief at least.

Zero, your freedom stops when it hits someone else's.
ED BEAR
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 314
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:01:45 AM

Do you think it's ridiculous?
.....As we say here in Australia.....It only can only happen in America!
The first lesson we are taught is NEVER give out your password or PIN number.
If you DO then YOU are responsible for what goes down.
Would you tell people where you hide the spare key to your house?
First lesson in life? Trust NO ONE...Circumstances change, but we don't alway's change our password, pin, or spare house key location to reflect those changes.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 315
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/19/2012 3:14:56 PM
Totally exonerated

All charges dropped.

http://www.theoaklandpress.com/articles/2012/07/19/news/local_news/doc50083a5e5471b291951955.txt?viewmode=fullstory

http://www.freep.com/article/20120719/NEWS03/120719053/Prosecutors-drop-computer-hacking-charges-against-Rochester-Hills-man
 MrOogam
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 316
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/19/2012 5:40:24 PM
I wouldn't doubt it, during the beginning of my divorce, I had found numerous evidencary(sp?) items in her car( both names on the title), jointly owned. So I hopped in the car and took off where I could go through & document said items with out her loosing her sanity & self controll. She called the police in the city we lived in, I recieved a call from the Sarg., he was pissed lmao!!... threatening to have me arrested for stealing my own car!!!! Said he would track my cell phone location & arrest me, even though I was in a different county... I aint thast dumb, LMAO!!! I did it any way..stayed gone for half the day, when the Sarg. ordered me to return the car immediately!!!! Got all those items documented, even kept a few for physical evidence if needed. I also got evidence off the family computer, she tried to challenge that as well,passed word protected sshe said. Needless to say it did not get very far once the courts heard our son & daughter saw some of that evidence when they started the 'puter up. It booted up, screen opened to uh huh, there was mom in let's say comprimising postions & situations!!!!Was not funny then, BUT DAMN FUNNY now!!!!! lol... And yes, I fought for , & I retained custody of then an 11 yr old daughter... It is funny, not really, but is at the same time....ah how time heals.....
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 317
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/19/2012 7:36:16 PM
That depends- how did he GET her password... if she shared it with him, saved it on the computer, or left her gmail logged in, it's HER fault...

However, I fail to see how having an affair is connected to neglecting children. I'm a single mom, I date- my kids are well cared for. Dating and raising kids are not mutually exclusive.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 318
view profile
History
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/19/2012 8:10:50 PM
The case is done.. to sum it up. They dropped the snooping charges when they found out she had been snooping on him before he was charged.

the "Hacking" charges were dropped after there were conflicting stories about whether he had been told not to try to access the data base. He never tried to hack anything.He DID have access to the database as he worked for the county,as a computer technician, whether he was told that he could/could not access the database after the original charges were levied was the point of contention.

All in all he was dragged thru the mud for 2 years by a cheating,vengeful bitter woman and the prosecution should have never tried to stick him with charges they eventually had to drop as they couldn't make anything stick.
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 319
For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating
Posted: 7/19/2012 10:09:47 PM
HOLY CRAP! That wasa a LOT to read through...

Glad it was dropped- I hope both the dads got full custody of the children being as she deemed it appropriate to see a man who had beaten her in front of one of the children. In case anyone didn't know- in all 50 states abusing a person in front of their child IS child abuse... so there is no question, the second husband DID abuse the child (even if only emotionally)

Kinda confused on the whole- she did it too so we'll drop the charges thing... So I guess now two wrongs DO make it right? hmmm...

I hope she is made to pay for ALL of the legal fees- including a HUGE fine for the time the DA wasted on this BS
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > For those that have no qualms snooping to find out if their partner is cheating