Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 651
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their moneyPage 27 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

Why is it that since this development of the male not being the provider, the divorce rate has shot up to 60%?

Because women no longer have to remain in marriages for financial security; they CAN marry and stay married for love or for non-material reasons.

Why is it that women still go into divorce court and in the vast majority get alimony?

In the vast majority of divorce cases, women DO NOT get alimony. If I recall correctly, alimony is awarded in something like 15% of divorce actions, and that about 2% of the recipients are men. Most divorces don't even end up in court (only 4 or 5%), at all, and nearly half of them are settled by the couple without any outside inteference. (No, I'm not going to go find those stats again; I've posted them ad nauseum on these forums). Despite what seems to be "reality" on these here forums, the majority of couples seem to believe that their final resolution was the best outcome for everyone under the circumstances.

You can argue that its unfair that only 2% of alimony recipients are men, but we're still in transition so it's still the woman who most often stays home as the family 'nurturer' and who also makes tends to make less than her spouse. Perhaps it'll never be 50/50 in that regard, who knows? But still, as more women earn a decent income "automatic" alimony becomes less likely and less common.

Shouldn't you be embarassed that you are taking money when you are so independent and capable of taking care of yourself?

Many women are, me being one of them ... I never took money from my ex-husband, not even child support.

Since you mention that, plenty of men have no problem going for spousal support where circumstances make them eligible - are you against spousal support, or just spousal support for women?


I'm sorry ladies, you miss the whole point. Women seek men with money just like in cave man days they wanted the biggest guy who could use a big club to protect them from the wild animals. Now they want the guy with a good sized bank account to protect them from the bill collector and give them the nicest cave(house) and car(cart).

I would ask you, and other men, why is it so important that women on these forums "admit" they marry for money? For me, it would be a lie and I've proven it about 4 times in my life already. Why should I admit to something that isn't true for me, and hasn't been true in my personal experience with other women I've known? Why can't you guys accept that maybe your view is just a little off-kilter?
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 652
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 12:31:57 PM

Marrying for money? There are still people out there with money?


Lol. Maybe that's why the number of marriages are down.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 653
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 12:39:52 PM

I'm sorry ladies, you miss the whole point. Women seek men with money just like in cave man days they wanted the biggest guy who could use a big club to protect them from the wild animals. Now they want the guy with a good sized bank account to protect them from the bill collector and give them the nicest cave(house) and car(cart).


I dont really believe that women seek men with money as the only factor when it comes to a relationship, what I do believe is that women will look at income and financial security as a big part of who they want to get into a relationship with, and frankly I cant see why that is something that they shouldnt be doing. Why wouldnt any intelligent individual assess the financial aspect when they are going into a serious relationship? If they werent, I would seriously question their mental state.

If most men dont care about financial consideration, that is their decision, but just because they are either blinded by their sexual attraction, are delusional enough to believe that finances do not affect a realtionship and the ability to support a family or are independently wealthy enough to not have to consider it, that is their choice. You cannot force people to think the same way, and insult and blame people that choose to not have your view point as bad, gold digger or whatever.

The ironic thing is that there are plenty of men that arent interested in a broke ass woman, why arent they getting the same flack for not wanting to hop into a relationship with these women?
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 654
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 12:49:01 PM
My views are my views, based on my experience, friends experience and observations.

You entirely miss the point, we now have 27 pages of rage by guys(most of which don't have a pot to pizz in) and women screaming "no we don't, keep your money, nobody would want you". The argument is inane, it happened, it is happening and it will happen.

If you don't do it, GREAT! Then why own it, or defend women because you don't?

"Because women no longer have to remain in marriages for financial security"

(sigh) Now a statement like that, only leads me (and probably others) to believe she married him for monetary gain in the first place. It would be easy to extrapolate that she thought "he ain't my first choice, but he makes a good living"!

As I said, the "love" reason is a relatively new concept in human development. I'm not knocking love, but sometimes it seems many are confused by lust and not really in love. Throw in a few bucks for the big party(wedding) which is really important to women and not to most men. A ring who's cost could furnish a small first apartment, and a honeymoon to some exotic place and that total is staggering.

If the alimony percentages dropped, it's a function of change. Less stay at home moms, a disaster of an economy, especially in mfg. where men dominated and made considerably more than women. Finally a recognition of the fact that becky can go out and get a job and support herself, she is not helpless.

In some cases, I think maintenance(alimony) is neccessary for either men or women, to give them a chance to get the skills and a job to support themselves. It should be limited in scope, 5 years, to make the adjustment. Not the 10 or 12 years handed out routinely.

Anybody who has a skill set, should be embarassed to take money from someone else. We could spend 50 more pages arguing the merits and pitfalls of the system. But there isn't any point. The numbers were, are and for the forseeable future skewed in women's favor. Men who receive it(by your numbers) are dwarfed by the number of women who receive it, same with custody. We could throw up the number of women versus men who are late on alimony or CS, the women are always way more behind than men.

I didn't mention CS, because for me, it's a non-issue. If you have a child it's yours, no matter who gets custody. That some won't pay or worse pay attention(visitation) to their child is despicable and abhorant.

To me it isn't important that women admit that they marry for money. It's the 26 pages of clap trap, saying it doesn't happen, denegrating men becuase they do claim it happens. The last few pages I read, were prime examples of that. Few addressed the issue, most attacked the guys for asserting it did.

Now some guys, including that azzhat with the screendoor, may have inflamed the issue, stirred the sh1t so to speak. But that didn't change the facts. Women marry for security and money like men marry for looks and breeding. It's gone on that way since Adam and Eve and will probably go on for another 1,000 years.

No amount of arguing will change that. Even in the venue of dating before coupling, most women want to revert to "the way it was", not the way you all seem to want it to be. He must call or contact first, he must pay for dates, he must when the time is right ask me to marry him, he must give me a ring, he must participate in a large wedding, he must take me on a honeymoon, he must...

If she is so independent, why hasn't she changed all that? Now will come the "I prefer it that way" or "it's how I like it" or "men resent it" or any of the million and one excuses that do not allow the rest to change. Hey, I get it, the band is marching down your street, why fuk with success right?

Yes, by all means you have proved it! Sorry I don't agree with one thing you did, the CS thing. He had a child, he should love and support that child and be in it's life. Congrats on doind what you did.

Though unlike you and most of the ladies posting, there are millions who do it like I said. If he's a garbage man, or sweeps the floor at the shop, works in low level retail or similar jobs, good luck. Love may find him, many times it does not. But let him be a doctor, lawyer, executive or a white collar middle manager and women flock to him, want to marry him, some of you may not, but for every one of you, there are 20 to replace your absence.

I can turn that question around on you, can't your view be a little off kilter, for the gender as a whole? I don't expect women to embrace this, admit it, but I see it all the time. That you and your friends don't seems strange.

edit to add: So I see that women "should" consider money and financial condition as a prerequiste to a relationship, from another poster. But as part of a braoder view of who he is. Then I would take it that, if he was the right height, weight, had the desired looks and shared interests, but lacked the financials, that would be a game killer? Ergo marry for money!

As for guys not dating broke azz women, I see that as no different than women not going for broke azz men. No one wants to enter a relationship with someone who can't take care of them selves. Again, men go for looks(is said), comes from the desire to produce children, who will be the best mate. Mother nature even insured it to some degree. For a man to desire a woman, he must be attracted or the little guy isn't able to perform.

If you want to reduce it to numbers, yes men attracted to women based on looks, would date a woman of less financial strength(waitress, maid, secretary), rarely do women seek out men below their financial station. That's just the way it is. Are there exceptions to either, of course. But men rarely marry up. Here in lies the rub, it emasculates them in their ego. They didn't choose the role of provider, hunter, evolution gave it to them. Just like their strength, way back their bodies were designed that way, just like women to give birth and nuture.

That then their ego's developed that sense of provider seems a natural development.

Oh and I never labeled any woman "golddigger", that's on you. I merely pointed out the facts as they are. Women want men who provide financial security, that doesn't make them goldiggers(my joke of the previous page was meant to get some goats, of those posting clap trap). Men on here want to ascribe women as golddiggers for the price of a $40 dinner, that makes no sense. The word is overused.

But to deny that women have a tendency to seek men with money or prospects is absurd.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 655
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 1:12:00 PM
sigh) Now a statement like that, only leads me (and probably others) to believe she married him for monetary gain in the first place. It would be easy to extrapolate that she thought "he ain't my first choice, but he makes a good living"!


Or you could see it that women are able to leave a marriage where they have no control, or little input over the financials if they want to now, where they didnt have the same opportunites 40 years ago. No more having to deal with some idiot who thinks that because he is a man he gets to make all the decisions regardless of how stupid they are.


rarely do women seek out men below their financial station.


Which is whole lot different than being a gold digger or marrying him for his money as she brings nothing herself to the financial pile, but that seems to be glossed over by many men. They arent even in the same atmosphere yet somehow that gets lost in translation. If a woman doesnt want to get involved with someone because they would be a potential financial drain on HER finances or financial future, that is her choice and she has every right to make it, the same goes for any man, we just call her a gold digger and him smart, isnt that how it goes?
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 656
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 1:17:09 PM
Here's the way I see it: I make really good money and am excellent with finances and frugality. I also believe in higher education in order to command higher pay. I absolutely expect the same education and dedication to financial success in a man that I expect for myself. And I think OyVay does make good points about biological factors. A lot of women (though not all) biologically feel that nurturing, motherly side that wants to have children and ensure they're cared for. Along with that often comes the desire to stay home to raise the children. In order for that to be possible, the man has to be making pretty good money. I absolutely look at a man's education, the type of career he has, and how dedicated to work he seems (for instance, I had a friend once who lost his job and spent over a year collecting unemployment even though he had been offered jobs that he considered "not ideal"). But I, too, bring a lot of money and a good career to the table. I don't like the phrase "marrying FOR money". I don't expect financial gain from a marriage and would gladly sign a pre-nup.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 657
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 1:20:37 PM
Tabitha,
I also had friends that married for money as well and they were miserable in marriage to the point that they divorced. And one of my females friends learned from experience never to marry for money again. Now she's with someone on her level and has a job working and is happy with the man. Both people working and making money together.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 658
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 2:04:26 PM
Oy Vay, just to make it clear - I consider you a reasonable and intelligent man and do appreciate many of the thoughts you offer. Just not all of them.


"Because women no longer have to remain in marriages for financial security"

(sigh) Now a statement like that, only leads me (and probably others) to believe she married him for monetary gain in the first place. It would be easy to extrapolate that she thought "he ain't my first choice, but he makes a good living"!

And to me, it means that women's financial independence allows them to marry for reasons other than money, and leave for reasons other than money.

I'm sure there are women who consider money first and foremost when assessing men and I also agree that it is a consideration, to some degree, for most women. I do not agree that women, as a gender, give it as much importance as men think they do.

we now have 27 pages of rage by guys ..... women saying it doesn't happen, denegrating men becuase they do claim it happens.

Imagine for a moment that I started a thread that claiming "Increasing numbers of men are raping women" and proceeded to cite a biased study. Suppose a few men attended the thread and said "I don't believe that's true; I've never raped anyone and none of my friends have either". And I respond with "Of course it's true; it must be true - it happened to me, and nearly every woman I know! If you deny my personal experience, then you are a liar!" So the discussion goes, and it turns out I'm claiming a man's gentle seduction of a woman is rape, when it's really just a part of normal male/female interaction. I bet there'd be more than one man getting a little frustrated with such an unfair accusation leveled against their entire gender.

To my mind, the phrase "Marry for money" means that money is the only or the primary consideration when selecting or accepting a mate. So, is money the only or primary consideration in most women's mate-selection? I don't think so. I think it's part of it, along with intangibles based on a woman's very personal preferences. I think for most women, money is rather far down the list and regardless of how much money a man has, if he isn't suitable in other ways, his money isn't going to make him suitable. For men to insist that women who base their selection on many factors, including money, are "marrying for money" is as unfair as my defining a man's gentle & and successful seduction as rape and telling those who disagree with me they are liars, or delusional.

It may well be true that women are less likely to accept a jobless man, or one with little earning power, than a man is likely to accept in a woman. But - as some have pointed out - is that a crime? Are women obliged to behave the same exactly as men do when selecting mates so they can avoid being considered money-grubbing parasites? Maybe men would actually be better off to follow the example of women and stop accepting women who are jobless or have little earning power. Men might feel less (financially) victimized and even those more money-oriented women might recognize their ability and accept their obligation to be self-supporting.


Sorry I don't agree with one thing you did, the CS thing. He had a child, he should love and support that child and be in it's life. Congrats on doind what you did.

We had two kids; he was actually out of work for a while at the time of the divorce through no fault of his own. He never hesitated to do the best he could for the kids or even for me when I needed it, and later, when both the kids lived with him for a while, I didn't pay child support either. For us, this worked - we cooperated and money never became an issue. He's done more financially for those kids than I have because he's had more earning power throughout their lives, and he's done more than many a parent who's had child support court orders.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 659
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 2:07:57 PM
Oh grizz, I expect more of you than that! You've been reading these forums too long to take serious, most claims of golddigging! I'd be willing to bet that there are less than 200 members of POF's 20 million who actually have money worth marrying for. Just because you have a 40 foot boat, nice house and drive a porsche, buy the lobster at dinner doesn't make you liquid and wealthy.

I guess my first question to your last post would be:

"No more having to deal with some idiot"

Why would ANYONE marry an idiot? If it's all about the control, wouldn't you see that BEFORE you married him? Controllers are pretty easy to spot. You say let's go see this movie and he responds, no I will see that one or better yet let's do this. If he's stupid, again why would you marry or live together?

We're not talking 40 years ago, we're talking today, right now. Whatever is history is history, we ca't put the gene back in the bottle.

"whole lot different than being a gold digger or marrying him for his money"

There you go with that word again. Dating up or marrying up is not the same as gold digging. I am saying women will seek a man either who has made money from his chosen job or has prospects to do that, which is what the article alledges.

"If a woman doesn't want to get involved with someone because they would be a potential financial drain on HER"

This is the crux of the matter. If Sally is a waitress and makes 25K or Sheila is a secretary or bank teller and makes 40K, but Joe the doctor meets her and falls in love (lust) whatever, he doesn't view it as a drain. He views it as a person he wants a life with and whatever else.

When Mary meets tom a bank teller making 40K while Mary makes 90K, she maybe aattracted to him, date him, bed him, but most likely will eliminate him as a potential long term mate, because he is not making the same money. When she meets Phil the accountant who makes 120K, she is more at ease, and would consider him, because their incomes are more in line. That's marrying up OR for money.

Again are there exceptions, yes. Most women look up and rarely down, when it comes to money.

But to say it's her choice is bogus! She may have been more attracted to tom, but because of money she is much more attacted to Phil. Is that gold digging? Still to me it's not enough money to golddig, but it WAS money that was the deciding factor.

Ergo marrying for money. You can call it smart or her preference, or whatever name lets you sleep at night, the fact of the matter is tom got knocked out of the box(no pun intended) by money.

It's even paraded everyday for you on TV. The Karadisians, the commercials, the very encouragement from your mothers, who smile when you bring home a doctor and frown at the mechanic.

The differences are subtle, but the results are the same. So please save the arguments. Looks play a part in how men select women and money plays a part in how women select men.

Edit to add: You might be right 4me, about what men do, and who they should select. He11 I'll give you guys a good laugh at my expense. I have more than once railed at LDR's. So who do you think flew from atlanta to london ontario for a date last weekend? Me! Alas the heart wants what the heart wants. Perhaps that is one of the key differences between men and women, part of the crux of this issue.

Women seem to be level headed with regard to dating and what comes next. Men not so much, we (or at least me, can't speak for all guys)want the woman we find attrative to us. Rarely do we consider the drawbacks, that might come with some women.

In my case, it's no biggie, I have flown a number of places to see women, to see if it works. I can afford it, it's no sweat, so I do as I please. But I doubt many women would view the cost of it, the way I do. There is a key element in the difference in our processes.
 Amorado
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 660
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 2:55:04 PM
Fleuron why is it that women stick up for each other all the time but when one man sticks up for another man why "He must be gay!"

Go play your 'gay card' somewhere else.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 661
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 2:59:29 PM

more women are choosing to marry men who are substantially better educated than them, and therefore have higher earnings.


I am very attracted to intelligent men. But it has nothing to do with money. Or education necessarily. And if he looks like a warthog, I don't give a sh!t how much money he's got...he aint' gettin' any. In my experience, people with alot of money tend to act like jerks. So, I'd rather avoid them.

And really now, does a better education necessarily mean higher earnings? Because I know a lot of dumbasses with degrees.


According to a new study more women are are marrying for money than did in the 1940s.


Wow. This article has a wealth of information about the so-called "study". {sarcasm font}
 Amorado
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 662
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 3:03:19 PM
OyVay... you have put much thought & time into your posts on this subject. Very well put, I must say.

Insofar as dating goes "Endeavor to Perseverve!"
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 663
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 4:08:04 PM

Fleuron why is it that women stick up for each other all the time but when one man sticks up for another man why "He must be gay!"


Beats me. I didn’t say you or anyone else must be gay.

Maybe you should try being more discerning about who you stick up for…? Just a thought.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 664
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/18/2011 6:12:27 PM
Oh for Pete's sake! The vast majority of women who marry for money are marrying men who know full well that their bank account brought them to the dance. Over on the "men prefer prostitutes to wife/gf" thread they're saying women should drop trou whenever & wherever their husband decides or just accept that he's gonna buy sex on the side.

Women, by nature, marry to have someone share the burden of home & family. They want security. It does not make them bad people unless they abuse the situation. Many men marry with the idea they'll have sex on demand from a woman who also cleans up after them. Usually both are sorely disappointed.

My only issue with this thread is one word in the subject line...increasing. pfft...troll post if I ever saw one.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 665
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 9:21:18 AM
^^^^ SC, you are making way too much sense for this thread.

Who needs money anyway if a guy's got a really ripped bod.
 annasthasia
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 666
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 9:35:10 AM
^^^^ I agree.

I just cannot get past the ick factor when the age difference is over 20 some years.
For me, it would be like banging my grandfather...

Whatever makes the world churn I guess.

I am at a place in my life where I expect my SO to have some kind of accomplishments in his life.

I get bored so easily nowadays! An erect penis can only entertain me for so long yanno.

Just sayin'

 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 667
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 9:58:21 AM
The last few pages of this thread has seriously cracked me up, man I love reading the forums, its better than watching TV it really is

On topic, increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money? Im not a woman so I have no idea if that is true, I would think most women wants to meet and marry a man that has the whole package, Financial security, the ability to remain faithful, has the ability to communicate, and she is attracted to him physically, mentally, emotionally and if he is good in bed doesn't hurt, are their gold diggers out there of course that goes without saying, just because someone wants to marry someone who is financially secure doesn't necessarily mean they are after their money?

That is insecurity talking and listening to a lawyer who gets paid drawing up pre nups
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 668
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 10:55:16 AM
Cdn-ice, glad I could provide a little entertainment to your day!

As you can see, deflection makes a better stance than debate! If you can't beat em, change the subject.

OT:

"According to a new study more women are marrying for money than did in the 1940s."

and

"My only issue with this thread is one word in the subject line...increasing."

Well according to one poster a page or so ago, more women are attending college. Now I'm sure it's way more than the 40's. There are many articles stating the same recently.

Since that's the case, obviously more women will seek men, who have a degree, who they would have more in common with. Hence his opportunities will be better, than the average line worker or regular joe. So he will make more money, again she will look to marry up. No surprise there.
 frank89419
Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 669
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 11:45:16 AM
I love how a man points out the truth and the women who are the gold diggers bash on him for being honest, oh no we're in America, don't tell the truth, you'll get smashed in the forums for it! Just smile and throw the truth under the rug!
 annasthasia
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 670
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 11:52:08 AM
Interesting....

Ok... I have a question for you men out there...

Do you really really want to have a woman in your life that fits your definition of a "gold digger"?... If so, why on earth do you just not bed them, instead of marrying them and then whaling about the fact that you lost all your money... I simply just do not get that...

From a woman's point of view, I simply could not see myself being a sex goddess with a man that simply would make me want to run to the bathroom and feel sick to my stomack after the deed is done... I mean, wouldn't it transpire after a while?

Are you guys that dumb that you cannot tell the difference between a woman that loves you and a woman that wants to use you?... Please tell me that you are not all THAT dumb...

'Cause from my end, it sort of takes two to tango, yanno...
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 671
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 12:33:45 PM
Gawd!!! There goes that freakin word again "gold digger"!

Where have I ever mentioned gold digger? You people seem to have an obssession with it! What I have been going on and on about has NOTHING to do with gold digging!

Please get that through your heads! Most of you wouldn't know a gold-digger if she bit you on the azz! There ain't no gold-diggers on POF! They couldn't be bothered with the men here, there ain't no gold to dig. Well maybe as I said earlier there might be a few who are well off, but not enough for a true gold-digger.

I've in my life met quite a few. They want a fabulous life style. Bentley cars, skiing in Vail, getting there by private jets. They want to drink Crystale Champagne, not dinner at Denny's! They want an afternoon shopping spree in Paris, on the Champs Elysees. The frakin men here can't spell Champs Elysees, much less know where it's at.

Gawd, you people make me crazy!

And who says you would have to be sick to your stomach? Or that he has to be some old geezer? I've simply pointed out that many women would prefer a man of financial security over mister nobody.

He11 for that matter, I never said it was wrong! Just a fact of life that happens when women select a man. Why TF, is everybody going off on these tangents?
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 672
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 12:40:53 PM
^^^

lol. You tell us. Sounds alot like a tangent to me. We are all entitled to opinions here. You don't get to approve how we express them.
 annasthasia
Joined: 5/4/2005
Msg: 673
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 12:43:42 PM
^^^^Mmmm... ok...

For the record, it is Champs-Élysées. Not that it matters...

Well, I suppose you have a point. I have friends that expected to travel and shop in the manner you described...

We all went our seperate lives and lo and behold, as soon as gravity caught up with them and as soon as the boozing and smoozing took its toll on their system, they were no longer in demand by these men. Curiously, not many were able to bag any one of them either. Actually, none of them were able to bag one of them.

I also know a few of those men and honestly, I'm not sure on just how happy they are.

You are right though, those types of people are most likely not on POF writing in forums. I bet you that many of them are reading us simply out of boredom.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 674
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 12:59:53 PM
Some of the arguements here are being presented as though at cross purposes

If a man doesnt want to marry a broke ass woman he IS criticised because of it, and excuses like shes a parent, she was "made" to stay at home and similar drivel tends to be wheeled out

Being not only a parent but a stay at home one is a "choice" for all women, its only men who can end up being a parent without choosing to be one

Being "made" to sit on your arse at home why the other person earns all the moeny is SUCH an imposition too I'm sure. But its also a CHOICE, the choice to BE financially dependant and have spa days and watch daytime TV instead of working

But when people claim that women wanting men who earn an "equal" amount isnt seeing money as being relevant it does kind of seem like somebody trying to sneak a joke through hoping nobody is watching. Because were men to expect the same from women they would be "tight", they'd be criticised and labelled as too materialistic, insecure etc etc

Basically if a man has a financial expectation from a partner even if thats equality they ARE viewed negatively because most women STILL need a man to be the main breadwinner because they either wont be able to be, or just dont WANT to be able to be

Women who at least expect a similar level of income however try to make that sound like money "isnt" important, when it obviously is or a potential partners income wouldnt matter so it really does stink of the pot calling the kettle black really

And although some people might marry for love, most women do infact seem to divorce for money. Or more acurately a lack in its amount when you look at the common problems in relationships

At times it seems like there must be some secret class many women attend that teaches them how to say "I want a man who can make a decent wage, buy a nice house, keep me in nice clothers and a decent car and all the other things a princess like me deserves as long as she keeps looking pretty" but in ways that dont ACTUALLY say that at all like

A man should have a good work ethic
He should be driven
He should have goals
He shouldnt be materialistic (meaning he should earn lots of money, but shouldnt mind spending it all on me)

As mentioned, this subtle, and maybe even subconcious vetting process starts from the very first date

Somebody on another thread said something like

"Maybe he should say I have something to eat before we meet for the first time because I dont want to shell out for feeding you and I bet no women would want to meet him"

As though its "reasonable" to view a person you havent met yet with disdain because he wont shell out money on you.

Its no different to the woman saying that, something like

"If youre not going to spend at least $50 on a meal why on earth would I want to meet you?"

Theres droves of posts like that where women quite subtly but overtly manipulatively try to twist things around so that its not the "expectation of being treated" thats bad, but mens reluctance to want to treat a total stranger

Whilst also trying to claim that money isnt important to women

In reality its not important to women, as long as its constantly flowing towards them

it only becomes important when theres any resistance to that process it seems
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 675
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/19/2011 1:47:03 PM
females,
whatever floats your bloat. If you want to marry a man for his money go for it, all the more power to ya, if not all the more power to ya. But the point is marry someone that will overall love you, fight for you and protect you. End of discussion on my part.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money