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 AUTHOR
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 701
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their moneyPage 29 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

I was nicked pretty good


Im not even going to reply to that super long text, save to say that is gave me a headache to read, and that it confirms to me someone will only accept their views and will never in a billion years accept someone who has different opinions or real life experiences than theirs. And who'll misquote you to make a point. But hey, thats the way the world turns.
And dont you dare feel sorry for me. I sure as hell dont. My views on life and the way I see mine have absolutely no bearing on the way I live. Its normal to want a better life for your kids than you do, every parent can tell you that, unless their stuck up enough to think their life rocks so much its what everyone should dream of. Anybody who's not self-conceited would think otherwise. Besides, I dont look for approvals in opinions, its not a contest. I really couldnt care less if someone agrees with me or not, is sad with me or not, is peed at me or not.
Its I view, and I have it. Its not right, its sick, its insane, its logical? Too bad, I have it, sue me. I'm not saying its right or wrong, I'm saying thats the way I see it. But what I do say is not everyone has it, and I'm fine by that.

And on hostility and anger, thats another can of worms. People seem to think its something to be shunned. Its an human emotion, and it can be VERY productive and usefull. Youve got a right to anger and hostility as much as anyone else. I have the right to hate, and I take it
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 702
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/24/2011 3:05:29 PM
Umm-
I was nicked pretty good


was something OyVey said-not me.


And dont you dare feel sorry for me.


Well, If I've" got a right to anger and hostility as much as anyone else"-then it seems to me that I also have the right to say that I am sorry to hear that another person has adopted a defeatist attitude about life.


And dont you dare feel sorry for me. I sure as hell dont.

I don't "feel sorry" for you, I AM sorry to hear that you seem to be resigned to a situation where you and your children are being wronged( if you are paying out all this money and your kids aren't getting proper dental care, the children-AND you-are in fact being wronged.) And, with all due respect, I must state that I disagree with you on the " I don't feel sorry for myself."

If there are instances/situations where the childrens' needs are being neglected and the child support payments are being mis-spent, haven't they got anything in Canada that functions as Child Protective Service does here in the US? Is there no assisting agency such as Friend of the Court that oversees child-support payment matters? Is there no "pro bono" organization such as Legal Aid that offers some legal assistance in civil and family law matters to persons who have limited means?
If you are working 3 jobs and can barely afford survival-level food and shelter due to excessive child support payments, it seems to me that you are entitled to defend yourself-I most assuredly AM NOT supporting, excusing or condoning women who push their childrens' fathers into abject poverty, nor am I in any way supporting or excusing women who truly are mis-spending child support funds!
However, I also have to point out that anybody can claim that they are getting screwed over in child custody/support matters, the division of assets in divorce,etc-and most people in those situations DO. Probably there is some basis for these claims, because the reality about the financial dynamics of one household becoming TWO households, is that EVERYBODY LOSES...even though it may SEEM like the other person is getting a WAAY bigger half of the pie.

I'm not taking ANYBODY'S side here-except maybe the children who now have 2 parents that seem to be working against one another.
I also realize that sometimes people need to vent...but-when one woman wrongs one man, one man wrongs one woman , or one man and one woman wrong each other, that does NOT mean that every other blessed individual of the offending gender is also going to behave in the exact same wrong way.

I honestly still cannot figure out how the author of the article cited in the OT has come up with this "increasing numbers" thing-since the 1940s-PEOPLE have increased in numbers.
More people are now pursuing higher education, completing degree programs, etc.

However,IMO- there are still factors in play that come from very longstanding social conditioning-women looking for a mate that can provide well for offspring, and...from what I hear, there still IS a bit of an ego thing going on with a fair amount of men, despite what they may CLAIM-that men don't want relationships with women who out-earn them.
So maybe these women are marrying men with higher education(that MIGHT lead to more money) because the men that they are educationally and financially equal to, or ahead of, don't WANT to marry them, they want to marry women with less education and lower income than themselves.
Cindy O
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 703
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/24/2011 4:08:23 PM

I was nicked pretty good
was something OyVey said-not me.


I KNOW...I forgot to quote on it but it just applied to my current situation

I`m not going to read that long post either, I got a huge headache. But, your right I`m wrong and I`ll shut up now.

Women are angels, men are a*sholes everyone treats everyone else equally and all`s fine and dandy in the world, world peace. Just dont give me advice before jumping a few weeks in my shorts (not litterally mind you, there only room for me)

Group Hugz all around
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 704
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/24/2011 4:55:30 PM

I`m not going to read that long post either, I got a huge headache. But, your right I`m wrong and I`ll shut up now.

Sorry about your headache-I think it's mostly self-inflicted, but that's just an observation.

If you read my post, you'd know that I'm NOT taking sides here, as far as the divorce/child support thing.

And I keep trying to point out that this topic isn't actually ABOUT divorce and child support- it's about marriage, and(as far as I'm concerned) the article cited by the OP is skewed and distorted to serve someones' sociopolitical agenda.

However, some people are just so emotionally and mentally abraded that any statement, comment or observation that does not completely support their particular grievance, is seen as opposition.

Once more-I'm not supporting,excusing, or approving of anyone who brings vindictiveness into matters of child custody, support, or other financial matters of divorce/break-ups.
And-once more, this topic is NOT ABOUT divorce, child support, unfair divorce/child support rulings...its about the front end-when people get married. Guess what? Between 50%-70% of marriages still DON'T end in divorce. I don't know if any person, agency or entity has ever undertaken to study if there is a significant financial common denominator in marriages that endure? Now that would be an interesting thing to study.

I still say, that people marry the person they marry due to a number of factors. Hopefully, BOTH people do give consideration to matters like education, earning potential, and a fiscal attitude of shared responsibility.

But, if someone has a point or theory that they want to "prove"-it's not that difficult to find statistics, information,etc to support their allegation. And thus it was with the article that inspired the original topic of this thread.
Cindy O
 sschooly
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 705
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/25/2011 1:02:04 AM
I make my own money and I'm continuing my education to make more. It's annoying to have someone tell me how much they make, what their assets are, etc. It's why I have a job and make my own money. I like being financially independent. As long as the man works and can pay his bills then why does the question of who makes more have to be an issue?
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 706
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/25/2011 9:20:31 AM
Cindy:
I honestly still cannot figure out how the author of the article cited in the OT has come up with this "increasing numbers" thing-since the 1940s-PEOPLE have increased in numbers.


Cindy, your logical post prompted me to go back to page one.

From the OP:


In todays' News, there is a study that shows more women are marrying for money than in 1940


Really. I’m a bit skeptical that someone conducted a door to door or snail mail survey of married women in 1940 and asked them, what exactly? “Why did you marry your husband?” Was it a multiple choice survey? Were there other options?

Who the heck is gonna say, then or now, “Oh, yes….I married for money.”

There’s more:


The author of the report, Dr Catherine Hakim, says "there is a myth that women invariably choose to have a relationship of total equality. More and more women are choosing to marry men who are substantially better educated than them, and therefore have higher earnings."


First of all, there is no such myth. Nobody expects or “chooses” a relationship of “total equality”. How do you do that, marry yourself? Your clone? And we “invariably” do it….really? That’s just stupid!

Just because a man holds a "higher degree" does NOT necessarily or automatically mean he is making “higher earnings”… Hello? He could be lying on the couch swigging Wild Turkey and watching Judge Judy all day. And that skewed conjecture is the basis of this 30 page mess??!

How freaking stupid. This was (very obviously) originally posted to generate never ending pages of gender war. Good call, OP.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 707
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/25/2011 12:19:15 PM
And she could use her degree, to just sit on the couch sip chardonnay and eat bon-bons, watch "As the Stomach Turns" and wait for Ramone the pool boy to give her a good going over!

How does that sound?

You wanna stop "never ending pages of gender wars" don't keep pouring gasoline on the fire and say something sensible instead of insulting men.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 708
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/25/2011 1:58:10 PM
^^^^^ You’re seriously gonna get that bent over my hypothetical scenario?

Take a deep breath and repeat this soothing mantra: “It’s only the forums…it’s only the forums.”

 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 709
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/25/2011 2:04:33 PM
Hmmmm, sorry, not "bent over" at all, merely pointing out the obvious, it could have been phrased better,but as you say, "it's only the forums" so please, the next time I decide to say something that bothers you, I suggest you do the same, and "repeat this soothing mantra"
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 710
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 11/25/2011 2:42:10 PM

so please, the next time I decide to say something that bothers you, I suggest you do the same, and "repeat this soothing mantra"

Now, now, lets not get too restrained, else there'd be no use popping popcorn for the forums entertainment.
 lucky2beme
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 711
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/2/2012 5:37:30 PM
I have no money so i guess i am doomed to bachelorhood for life
 ruspukin
Joined: 9/29/2010
Msg: 712
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/2/2012 7:07:21 PM
maybe its because men don't have anything else to offer
 usernonymous
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 713
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/2/2012 10:21:30 PM
I think with the recession, there is also a role reversal.

I think that women are leaving their men because they are often left as the breadwinners. The economy has left alot of men fiscally emasculated and I think that alot of women feel that their mate is no longer a man because they cannot support the family. This leads to more breakups due to men's insecurity and a woman's independance to not need a man to bring home the bread.

http://society.ezinemark.com/women-breadwinners-more-likely-to-divorce-study-31887247381.html
 CptJohnSheridan
Joined: 11/23/2011
Msg: 714
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 9:35:18 AM
Just as an observation I will say that many of the professionals with whom I work complain that the women they date seem to want them for their money. When I ask why they like the ladies, the reply is usually some variation upon, "She is very physically attractive." To me this seems like a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
 letzgo4it
Joined: 10/17/2011
Msg: 715
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:25:45 PM
True, so true!! And coming from a male who can tell it like it is. Thanks for the post and validation of my thoughts.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 716
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 6:04:29 PM

Just as an observation I will say that many of the professionals with whom I work complain that the women they date seem to want them for their money. When I ask why they like the ladies, the reply is usually some variation upon, "She is very physically attractive." To me this seems like a case of the pot calling the kettle black.


Men looking for the hottest woman they can afford. Women looking for the richest man they can attract. Nothing new here.
 kevination
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 717
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 6:25:27 PM
ron simmons reads this set of posts and says..........
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 718
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 6:49:01 PM
increasing numbers of men are marrying women for their looks/money

none of it is new, not really
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 719
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 7:29:15 PM

I think that women are leaving their men because they are often left as the breadwinners. The economy has left alot of men fiscally emasculated and I think that alot of women feel that their mate is no longer a man because they cannot support the family. This leads to more breakups due to men's insecurity and a woman's independance to not need a man to bring home the bread.


The reverse side of this and the above posts is that it seems okay to a large chunk of women that dumping a man for having lost his income is a valid excuse, but a man who dumps a woman because she is no longer good looking or no longer interested in intimacy is a major crime. This is not acceptable logic. It is thin primal reasoning masquerading as the elitist BS that it really is coming from the female camp.

They hypocrisy in this case is in what is not said, not in what is. That is not lost on men who witness it for what it really is. It is also a big reason why those of us with a brain avoid women who subscribe to that kind of social thinking.

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 720
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:11:30 PM
The only reason that people who are married or in a committed relationship should be leaving one another is if one of the partners has become violent,abusive or is putting the partner and/or the kids in danger.

Leaving over loss of income(unless it is due to genuine irresponsibility or bad behavior) loss of looks, reduced interest in intimacy or illness is wrong, IMO. Yes, people will do it-because they're human-they aren't perfect.

I won't disagree that there is a tendency of cultural conditioning, to place value on men for their provider skills and on women for their looks.
As far as intimacy, that should be a part of marriage, not a bargaining chip, control mechanism or weapon, but again there is a cultural tendency to condition women to use intimacy as a mechanisim of control, and to condition men to have LESS respect and a lower opinion of women who do NOT use intimacy as a bargaining chip.
Perhaps we need to let people start designing their own marriage contracts so that they can spell out in black and white, what things will be grounds for ending the marriage-and yes, it will be permissible to tie the continuation of the marriage to such things as income, health, appearance, and even stipulate the frequency and quality of sexual intimacy...I bet there would be a helluva lot of divorces prevented because the marriages would never take place!
Cindy O
 sassykamper
Joined: 12/21/2011
Msg: 721
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:30:30 PM
right on army mom, that is the sickest thing i can think of to date. nasty!
 sweetchic
Joined: 1/28/2011
Msg: 722
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:41:14 PM
And from what I've heard and increasing amount of men are marrying women for their money too, after all as the saying goes, ''a woman can fake an orgasm but a man can fake the whole relationship'' these things happen, what are you going to do.

There is a quote in which I believe
""The most unhappiest woman is a woman who marries for money""

Maybe if he had one foot in the grave, or travelled most of time, but even then ..it's really not me.

Imagine having to wake up next to a very rich man every morning who you can't stand
I know I couldn't do it, I'd have to be drunk everyday to even kiss him, Yukkk. and believe me I know cuz I tried it, I had met a rich well to do man who wanted me badly, a nice guy too, however just to kiss him turned me off ..so I could not even imagine it, but hey that's me.
I HAVE to have some chemistry or else I am out, and running...:

At this point of my life sometimes I wish I could,
I could then finally relax, and not have to worry about $$$$$ anymore, but you know what there's nothing more beautiful than waking up to someone who you really love
 Allan Anger
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 723
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:12:18 PM
I will marry for cash,,,hmm,,,,
And boiled beets
and fried cabbage
 Incognito555
Joined: 9/19/2011
Msg: 724
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/6/2012 11:30:10 PM
All I can say, is after reading my profile, I don't think I will be hearing from any gold diggers:)
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 725
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 2/12/2012 10:11:31 AM
increasing?? When did every stop? You think old bent back men who are 30 years older than their wives top choice because he is great in bed????
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