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 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 76
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their moneyPage 4 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

this is why over 50 percent of women now in the usa are not married,

No, the simple rebuttal to this would be that they've seen what's available and decided to wait and see if there's something better in the next shipment.

But seriously, many women are now putting ongoing education and rewarding careers ahead of marriage. I'm sure that quite a few of that 50% are women who are widowed or divorced and aren't in a big hurry to remarry. Just because a woman is not married doesn't mean she doesn't have an equal partnership with a man she loves,whether she does or does not live with them. And I'm assuming that "women" means also the many females over 65 and up to 100+ who have lost their husbands to death and don't care to seek another husband. You make a bad choice when you are 25, you have time to get out and deal with the aftermath...make a bad choice of husband when you are 65-70, and you may never completely repair your life. I saw that very thing happen to my own mother...and she married DOWN, actually, in terms of money,HE was the gold-digger.
Cindy O
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 77
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:35:15 AM
I don't plan te re-marry so a pre-nup isnt a consideration for me. However, I would make sure to have a co-habitation agreement in place. This would be to protect my children, my partner's children, and to make sure that everyone knew what would happen in the event of separation or death. It's important for children to understand and thus be able to more readily accept and embrace the new relationship.

When you get older, finances become more complex. People have dependants and obligations. This isnt about trust or lack of it, but about making expectations and understandings clear.

IMO
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 78
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:37:02 AM
You make a bad choice when you are 25, you have time to get out and deal with the aftermath...make a bad choice of husband when you are 65-70, and you may never completely repair your life. I saw that very thing happen to my own mother...and she married DOWN, actually, in terms of money,HE was the gold-digger.
Cindy O


That is a very good point, Cindy. Older people really can't afford to make a bad marriage. In addition to the financial and practical consequences, it would really hurt to find that the thing one had tried to avoid (being alone in one's old age) had come to pass. If one is going to end up alone anyway, better to keep a sensible eye on the big picture, like how to support oneself.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 79
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:45:19 AM
^^^^^The FIRST time I heard about the good-digging men preying on old ladies in West Palm Beach Florida was when I was 16 years old, and I lived 1,500 miles away. I'd heard it from an old timer who had been stationed there in the Air Force. He was disgusted.

I much, much, much later heard from a reliable source that 40% of the "marks" of gigolo's had once sex workers (in literal fact) themselves (another 40% likely had been what's known today as "social hookers"). I understand older women (and men) often are inclined to throw their remaining money at some charming person for the small amount of company and comfort they receive in return, and so their kids don't get the money.

On the other hand, I knew a guy who poured more than $100,000 into "restoring" a $3,000 sailboat. He seemed to be angry at his kids, and often mentioned how ingrateful they were.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 80
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:49:42 AM
all women marry men for their money.


Since according to this poster, all women marry for money, it makes me wonder what all men marry for.

once married, the woman has no obligations, and the man has all the obligations.


It doesn't seem that way to me. At least not according to shows like Divorce Court, and Hollywood.

men are sick of being used.


Perhaps if they weren't so stupid, and naive, they wouldn't have gotten used. Apparently men aren't too sick of being used, because many of them are still going down that same lane. Trust. Most of you are still suckers.

As Danny Devito once put it, "There is a sucker born every minute. You gotta take em for all he got."
 Truthisee
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 81
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 11:15:18 AM

Perhaps if they weren't so stupid, and naive, they wouldn't have gotten used. Apparently men aren't too sick of being used, because many of them are still going down that same lane. Trust. Most of you are still suckers.


This is why I only bother dating when I'm horny, most often all you need to get in a woman's pants is a rather large um...

bank account.


 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 82
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 11:22:28 AM
*IF* one actually felt that way (most people don't), AND *IF* they were honest (most people who feel that way aren't) they'd mention it in their profile.

Most everyone starts out trusting. After some measure of experience, few stay absolutely trusting.

Most, eventually, take some form of the the advice, "Trust everyone, but cut the cards."
 som1spcl
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 83
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 11:56:26 AM
I certainly find this topic interesting considering the whole 'cougar phenomenon' that seems to have taken place in the western world. Although I am certain these young men like older women because of the fact that so many don't seem to have the sexual hang ups that some young women have. I can't help but wonder if the guys might enjoy the fact that older women also have more financial independence. The young guys most likely are not looking for marriage but are they not looking to be taken care of financially for the time being?
I myself do not date younger men so cannot say that this is the case but...
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 84
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 12:09:49 PM

I certainly find this topic interesting considering the whole 'cougar phenomenon' that seems to have taken place in the western world.




The young guys most likely are not looking for marriage but are they not looking to be taken care of financially for the time being?


Seeing as the term cougar means a 40's something woman looking for hot sex with younger hot guys.
I doubt there would be any financial gain to said guys.

A cougar is a predator......It kills feeds and moves on to the next kill.
I doubt the predator is going to add to her "kills" bank account!

However the dirty old man is much more likely to have to pony up some funds to win any affection!
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 85
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 12:18:24 PM

Perhaps if they weren't so stupid, and naive, they wouldn't have gotten used. Apparently men aren't too sick of being used, because many of them are still going down that same lane. Trust. Most of you are still suckers.


Are you saying a man who trusts a woman is stupid, naive, and probably a sucker? Sure sounds like it. How very charming and romantic. What should a stupid, naive man like me do instead--distrust every woman I meet, whether she's given me any reason to, or not?

If I sense a woman assumes I'm guilty unless I can prove I'm innocent, that does it, for me. It's arrogant and offensive--after all, how do I know but what SHE has the morals of a scorpion? I'm sure some women like to flatter themselves that their sex is morally superior, but I'm not buying it.

And I doubt most women would find it too thrilling to think I was starting out distrusting them, either. It's certainly no good to be foolish and gullible--but it's no better to assume the worst about everyone you might date.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 86
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 12:28:31 PM
OK, so where are these men?

I am getting sick and tired of supporting the ones I end up with.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 87
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 12:31:56 PM
^^^@ Matchlight. Actually, I was referring to the guy in msg #75 claiming that all women marry for money, how we are users and how men are sick of being used.

If the guy in msg #75, and the other "men" he's referring to are so fed up with being used by women, then why do they continuously allow themselves to fall victim to that? Those are the suckers I was referring to. If any of those men are just as bitter as the guy in msg 75, then yes. A lot of naivety indeed.

Sometimes, people can catch users from a mile away. It is not always something that slips right through our fingers.
 som1spcl
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 88
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 1:29:16 PM


Seeing as the term cougar means a 40's something woman looking for hot sex with younger hot guys.
I doubt there would be any financial gain to said guys.

A cougar is a predator......It kills feeds and moves on to the next kill.
I doubt the predator is going to add to her "kills" bank account!


mjyawn67...finally, someone that knows the definition of 'cougar'. Now if only the rest of the world would take notice.
Although in most cases, I would think that there would not be a huge financial gain for the young men that date older women, I don't think they have any financial lose either.
I would think that the women most likely pick up the tab if they were to go for dinner, concert, etc. Now if these guys were to be dating women closer to their own age, chances are they would be picking up the tab in most cases. I may be getting off topic as far as the original post, so let me give my 2 cents worth about women marrying men for money...it works both ways.
Unfortunately I am the one that is paying. After a relatively short marriage, I am the one parting ways with part of my investments. I have never been a 'gold digger' & never will be. I won't bore you with details, so to make a long story short...he lied to me about his business, income & plans for retirement. I myself could not imagine looking someone in the eye & lying, so I never thought that I should check these things out.
In the end, it is only stuff lost & maybe my a bit of my pride. I cannot help but feel a little sorry for someone that feels a need to misrepresent themselves to the world. Seems like a pathetic way to live.
Lesson learned...I suppose if ever I enter into a relationship of marriage or living with someone, full~disclosure would be required.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 89
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 1:31:05 PM
^^^^^RushLuv, Thanks for clearing that up. I'll let that gentleman speak for himself. In any case, I'm not English, and I don't want a girlfriend who lives in Mexico City.

Yes, you can spot users from a mile away--*sometimes.* But some of them have put a lot more thought into using people than I care to put into defending against every cleverly concealed ruse imaginable. Even so, you should be able to spot the problem before you get in WAY deep.

The worst it ever cost me was a couple hundred bucks to feed and drink several connivers, the time I wasted on getting ready for a few no-shows, and a couple vicious e-mails and phone attacks by women I was lucky never to meet.

So now I keep it very short and simple at first, unless I really feel I know her. When I see, "Pleeease--NO 'Starbux meets' for this girl--I'm worth more than that," or similar, I find myself saying, "Well--isn't it just wonderful that you think so!"

BTW, the one I'd e-mailed back and forth with a few times (on another site) had been nothing but sweetness and light, and she was very pretty. But as soon as she found out my income wasn't what she'd imagined, our came all her claws and her four-letter vocabulary.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 90
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 1:40:44 PM
Gwendolyn was the first to catch it and reply to it... the study appeared on the BBC UK Site. Where was this study taken ?

" Dr Catherine Hakim, says "there is a myth that women invariably choose to have a relationship of total equality. More and more women are choosing to marry men who are substantially better educated than them, and therefore have higher earnings."
I thought this was standard procedure, maybe she is referring to political correctness. "

British Women ? British Political Correctness ?
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 91
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 1:58:24 PM

So now I keep it very short and simple at first, unless I really feel I know her. When I see, "Pleeease--NO 'Starbux meets' for this girl--I'm worth more than that," or similar, I find myself saying, "Well--isn't it just wonderful that you think so!"


I agree with you. I don't want to spend a lot of time or money just to meet someone to see if we are mutually interested. A cup of coffee together is good enough, and it doesn't have to be Starbucks; Timmie's is just fine.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 92
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 2:12:11 PM
Wait, message 75, aren't women in other countries looking for rich American men to marry and get into the states and send your money to their families...aren't they gold diggers? And if you were just looking for nice women from a culture that submits to their husbands, why would you need to advertise your high salary? It would seem you are not only looking for a gold digger but you are hopeful that they feel below you and will accept being taken care of over being your companion in life. So the problem seems to be not with women marrying for money but with women who have the audacity to feel they are your equal and have an identity outside your last name.
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 93
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 2:18:33 PM

Wait, message 75, aren't women in other countries looking for rich American men to marry and get into the sates and send your money to their families...aren't they gold diggers? And if you were just looking for nice women from a culture that submits to their husbands, why would you need to advertise your high salary? It would seem you are not only looking for a gold digger but you are hopeful that they feel below you and will accept being taken care of over being your companion in life. So the problem seems to be not with women marrying for money but with women who have the audacity to feel they are your equal and have an identity outside your last name.


Great call daynadaze!!!
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 94
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 2:30:34 PM

... a study done for AARP in 2004 showed about 75% (that's right, seventy-five percent, three out of four) single women over age 40 will NEVER AGAIN in their lifetimes have hot-and-sweaty, face-to-face sex with a man. That's SINGLE women, and the statement was made in the study (done by a woman PhD) that lack of sexual interest in a man was THE greatest reason single women over 40 never married or who had husbands who divorced them.


You have a point if that is true, where 75% of the men are here on dating sites, as maybe 25% or less[women] 40 & over,are here to date. If you are successful why are we here? Do you think that will make a difference to women?
imo,most women don't worry to date,mate,whatever,they are more concerned on survive & its in their dna.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 95
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 5:21:56 PM
"women marrying men for their money"?!

omg... next thing you know men will be marrying women because of the way they look...

oh the humanity
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 96
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increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 5:46:15 PM
^^^^I seem to have seen someone try to draw that parallel before. Doesn't wash with me. Who, really, does NOT want someone whose looks they like also to like theirs? It's direct, basic validation that you're sexually desirable. And as long as that's paired with friendliness and affection, it gives you both a feeling of acceptance that's very satisfying.

But how it can possibly make a man feel good to have an attractive woman drawn to him because of some property he's acquired, I cannot imagine. It has nothing to do with HIM, the person. And when a woman has no children to raise and a good income of her own, I think the line between arrangements like that and being a courtesan or mistress is pretty thin.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 97
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 5:47:40 PM
I'm waiting on dude in msg 75 to answer my question on what are all men marrying for. Or why are they marrying. Since women marry men for their wallets. I'm just curious.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 98
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:32:57 PM
^^^ a bit a generalization there sweetness - I have to say I have met very few women who are open to the idea of a prenup unless their financial assets equal to or greater than the man they are considering coupling with - go figure... this could be a growing market for lawyers now that women are becoming increasingly financially independant.
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 99
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 8:12:51 PM
I think a lot of people are missing a point here. There are sadly, and to my everlasting amazement, a fair number of women who look at what kind of 'provider' a guy will be. Or in other words, looking for a good meal ticket.

If you are an educated employed woman, you arent considering the numbers of women working in minumum wage jobs. Generally speaking, men can attract much higher wages without education- and go into higher paying fields- plumbing, construction, and so forth.

The fact is, that there are a fair number of women out there who will latch onto a guy for this reason. He doesn't have to be a millionaire, but in the event of a divorce, he does stand to lose a great deal, and if he feels he was deceived as to how the woman felt about him, then yes, he is going to feel used. Much in the same way as a woman who ended up in a one night stand might feel if she felt lied to.

I don't blame any guy who wants a pre nup especially if he owned property before marriage. That said, I don't know how effective they are.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 100
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 9:29:30 PM
Why would Hugh Hefner marry that blonde bimbette and why would the blonde bimbette marry him - you think it's love....I think it's a combination of the fact he has money (plus she gets her 15 minutes of fame) and he gets arm candy. This is the fantasy life and not real life.

But I think the average Joe out there is still looking for someone that he can love, compliments him and his life style and the same goes for the average Jane. I don't personally know anyone that was looking for a meal ticket.

As for pre-nups, anyone that has property, children and assets should be protecting themselves no matter what age or gender they are. Want to live together - get a co-habitation agreement. Just makes sense.

There will always be some women that look for the rich guy and there will be some men that look for the arm candy and I don't think that will change. The majority will just find someone that fits them and they won't mind if he makes more money or she makes more money as they will blend their earnings to enhance both their lives.
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