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 AUTHOR
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 101
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their moneyPage 5 of 32    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
The author alluded to women marrying men who are ( more) educated. It was HER reference to earnings potential based on having a higher education- this doesn't necessarily mean that it translates to marrying for money.
I for one will seek a relationship with a successful man- that to me means that he's educated and has applied himself,,,and has had results and continues to grow from that- as a positive individual, etc.- not in monetary terms. Although I feel that if one applies themself that they will also be financially successful,,,but it's the character and determination that's key IMO.

Men and women have certain gender based qualities for a reason- each individual's reasons differ. I see many men who state in their profiles that they are a good provider, et al. I simply see this as being important to THEM- those individuals who WANT to be valued as a provider- not simply because they are.
A better example in equating what's important is the examples found in the 5 love languages- acts of service ( providing? as one of these), gifts, time, etc. One could say that providing for one's family is an act of service, etc. All that really matters at the end of the day is what works for both individuals- if he gets a great sense of self and reward by providing in HIS way- be it monetarily or by giving of himself, etc.,and if she gets a great sense of self and reward by contributing thru work or in other ways.

As for the comment on the pre-nup: More and more of my female friends are choosing to exercise these when they enter into a LTR, regardless of their assets and earning potential, simply to safeguard their assets for their (grown) children/ grandchildren, etc., as well as to make provisions for their spouse. Many these days have been divorced and seek it as a means to simplify their assets.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 102
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/7/2011 11:51:05 PM
ok, I dont know if they will marry for money.. frankly I dont care, I am never doing it. (frog and the scorpion; damn frog gets it every time)

but they will indeed DATE for money. I played with the parameters a bit when I joined the site, changed the height, the education, the location, the weight, the money, kept the picture and the profile info exactly the same.... Most mail I got ? Over 6 foot, making 100+ a year, bachelors degree (the masters degree seemed to work the reverse direction) and living in 'seattle' vs BFE Washington .....

I know indeed, that if I am using this site, and want a date, I better be knocking those wickets, cuz the reality of the true stats, same pic, same profile info....crickets.

this isnt a poor me kinda thing. It is the actual experience that I recommend any of the men try with a dummy profile. You will see the results are indeed telling. try it for yourself.

done looking for american women, because I speak a language, and have spent more time over seas than here, and really I dont get you all at all.
Fishing overseas. never marrying.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 103
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 12:25:54 AM
It goes both ways. I've put ads up advertising sex and made sure I put something like talk/email in my status. You all know what happened I'm sure.

What happens between the two people is their business. My issue is with whiners (like many men) who complain about being used for their money and women about being used for sex.

This arrangement is as old as time and I don't even have to mention hookers in the equation. If both parties are okay with what they got going on - WHO CARES?

I'm just tired of whiners. Stop dating if that is the case. Grow some balls for gawd's sake.

Someone "taught" men to show off their material assets to women. And someone taught women to show off their sexual assets to men.

If we want things to change, look no further than your children. Otherwise, accept it. Simple really.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 104
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 5:51:11 AM
venndiagram


I don't blame any guy who wants a pre nup especially if he owned property before marriage. That said, I don't know how effective they are.


Very good move. For BOTH men AND woman.

I had one for my second marriage, and my ex-husband did uphold it when we split. I'm sure it could have been contested in court, but he chose to be honorable. If I ever marry again, then yes I would have another one, or find someone who has equal to what I am bringing to the plate.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 105
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 6:02:45 AM
One thing I do see here in the forums often, is when a woman is seeking financial security in a man, she's called a 'gold digger' or 'self-entitled' or an 'opportunist.' Not everyone says that, but sure as the sun rises, you see those comments anytime this subject is discussed here.

The guys usually making those comments are ALSO the ones who'll fight tooth and nail to support the theory that men will seek out young women because they're "genetically progammed to seek out young women for their child-bearing viability." The funniest part about that is that the LAST thing most of these older guys are even thinking about is getting their pretty young playtoy pregnant.

But let a woman seek out a financially secure man and it can't possibly be due to genetic programming causing them to seek out a successful provider; no, it MUST be because she's a shrewish, self entitled gold digger whose out to take his fortune.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 106
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 6:13:21 AM

One thing I do see here in the forums often, is when a woman is seeking financial security in a man,


I have to ask, because I am VERY confused as to what this actually means or is defined by those that you use it,,,,,"financially secure"???????

Anyone?????
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 107
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 6:49:03 AM
In reply to Watts, Msg: 123

Financial security is about achieving material well-being. It's about having an adequate income to meet basic needs such as housing, food, and clothing. It's also about being able to take advantage of opportunities and lead a rewarding life.
The above text is from a Government of Canada web site (see below).
http://www4.hrsdc.gc.ca/d.4m.1.3n@-eng.jsp?did=4

 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 108
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 7:26:14 AM

Gwendolyn was the first to catch it and reply to it... the study appeared on the BBC UK Site. Where was this study taken ?


Isn't it amazing that people gloss over such necessary information such as this and blather on about aspects that have nothing to do with the study? Also, at the expense of repeating myself, THAT NEWS BLURB SAID NOTHING ABOUT WOMEN MARRYING FOR MONEY, it said that women marry more educated men with a "capacity" for earning more money.

I have the capacity to become a brain surgeon, but I never will.



Seeing as the term cougar means a 40's something woman looking for hot sex with younger hot guys.
I doubt there would be any financial gain to said guys.

A cougar is a predator......It kills feeds and moves on to the next kill.
I doubt the predator is going to add to her "kills" bank account!


"Cougar" is a term used by the general public to denigrate older women who date younger men. Like most derisive terms, it has no basis in reality. Women who refer to themselves as a "cougar" are largely pathetic, desperate women who want to think of themselves as younger and prettier than they are. The self termed "cougars" whose profiles I have seen on POF are not predators: they look plain and their profile blurbs are usually explanations of why they seek younger men.

Women who do not need to explain themselves just date whom they please, regardless of age, and they do not label themselves.


Many women make as much as or exceed the income of many men.


Give me the stats on how many women make or exceed the income of many men. In an earlier post, I gave stats that show women still make about 75% of every dollar that men make. Who are these "many" women? You make it sound as if they are the majority.


So a woman who is equal to most men wants someone "above" her.


Let me GET THIS STRAIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL, because one partner makes more than the other does not make the higher wage earner "above" the other partner. All this twaddle about "equality" and how it goes out the window when a woman, or man, marries someone who makes more money is ridiculous. There is more contributed to a partnership than money.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 109
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 7:34:10 AM

... a study done for AARP in 2004 showed about 75% (that's right, seventy-five percent, three out of four) single women over age 40 will NEVER AGAIN in their lifetimes have hot-and-sweaty, face-to-face sex with a man. That's SINGLE women, and the statement was made in the study (done by a woman PhD) that lack of sexual interest in a man was THE greatest reason single women over 40 never married or who had husbands who divorced them.


Please cite where you got this information. Considering that most divorces are initiated by women, I find it difficult to believe that large amounts of men are divorcing their wives because they won't have sex with them.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 110
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 7:57:14 AM
What word didn't you understand? AARP? survey? 2004?

---The comment about lack of sexual interest on the part
of single woman past age 40 as THE likely reason
those women never married or their husbands divorced
them was made by the woman PhD who did the survey
and is included in the survey writeup.

AARP -- seemingly because of all the flack they took from a certain element of their potential customer base from the 2004 survey -- in its 2010 survey bumped the age up to 45 minimum AND included people in long term relationships. Not surprising, women in long-term relationships tend to have more sex than women who are unable or unwilling to form a relationship with a man, any man.

---However, the news was still pretty grim. If a "sexless relationship" is defined -- as it is by marriage counselers -- as one where the couple has ten or fewer sexual encounters in a year's time, then most women past age 45 are past their days as a womanly woman.

---THAT _is_ the reason "marrying for money" becomes more important to a larger percentage of women as they age .... they simply don't care if they never again have sex with a man, so if they are going to, they are going to make a deal they don't care if they lose.
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 111
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 8:00:55 AM
To Jersey Girl, Msg: 122

seeking financial security in a man
The above statement is ambiguous and misleading. Does it mean "seeking financial security from a man" (sounds like a gold digger to me) or "seeking a man who is financially secure" (a prudent objective). The first objective obviously requires that the second be true. Your later statement then switches to
seek out a financially secure man
The not so subtle switch weakens the credibility of your argument and the point you are trying to make.
 Gashlycrumb_Briny
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 112
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 8:06:04 AM
1. How many women in the study considered wealth the SOLE factor in choosing a husband? because:
A. I don't know how you can come to a definitive conclusion that a woman married a man for his money, unless you can show that had she been differently motivated, she would have married someone else, and;
B. I quote Gwendolyn's points because I think they are important:


Why can't a woman be equal to her husband even if he makes more money?

So, we judge "up" and "down" based solely on money?


2. We're all victims of a little media spin. The headline "Women are marrying men for their money" plays right into our preconceived notions of gold-diggers, and is almost accusatory. Why not, "Increasing numbers of men are marrying women less wealthy/less educated than themselves," or, "Earning capacity disparity in marriages increases"? Oh I know why, those are much less sensational. And we can't blame men, but we have to blame someone. (I'm not sure what for...but anyway. Women it is.)

3. This 'myth of total equality in relationships' isn't about each individual in the relationship doing exactly equal chores and earning exactly equal salaries, it's about every man and every woman being allowed to choose to have whatever kind of relationship they want, eg, they can have 'traditional' relationship roles because they want to , not because it's traditional.
 som1spcl
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 113
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 8:25:22 AM
"Cougar" is a term used by the general public to denigrate older women who date younger men. Like most derisive terms, it has no basis in reality. Women who refer to themselves as a "cougar" are largely pathetic, desperate women who want to think of themselves as younger and prettier than they are. The self termed "cougars" whose profiles I have seen on POF are not predators: they look plain and their profile blurbs are usually explanations of why they seek younger men.


Well Gwendolyn2010, although I have found most of your posts informative, I think by quoting you above^^^, shows that you have a dislike for the self~proclaimed 'cougar'. It doesn't reflect very well on you to start name calling.
First off, I myself am not a cougar & am offended when someone uses the term regarding me. Having said that...I certainly wouldn't consider these women pathetic or desperate. A friend of mine who is a 'cougar' is one of the most confident women I know. She is smart, attractive, successful, financially secure (by her own means) & enjoys sex. At 50+, her energy level is through the roof. She is also one of the most compassionate people I know & has many friends in her life that seem to truly care about her.
Ahhh, but I digress, is it actually possible to want & enjoy sex after 40. I turn 49 next month & I say...
HELL YA!
Chances are the survey saying otherwise were women that have spent their marriage having to work a full time job, come home take care of the kids, & do the housework while their husband sits & enjoys a beer after dinner. I would think that having sex with him afterwards would just seem like another chore.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 114
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 8:37:51 AM

but they will indeed DATE for money. I played with the parameters a bit when I joined the site, changed the height, the education, the location, the weight, the money, kept the picture and the profile info exactly the same.... Most mail I got ? Over 6 foot, making 100+ a year, bachelors degree ....


When I changed my profile, with its one paragraph of "info" and pictures of me on a friend's sailboat at sea, ONLY to __add pics of me in a quality suit__, I increased my response rate 15(!) to 20(!) TIMES. No other change but the pictures.

---Two such responses (who had declared exceptional interest in me
as person) when I suggested we meet "for a cup of coffee or a glass
of wine" to explore potentials, named places to meet which served
wine only as part of a meal (when I checked the places' websites),
said meal for two to be roughly $400, perhaps a bit more (also from
the websites).

I changed my profile to add all those paragraphs after #1 to cut back on the undesireables. Which it did.

Coincidence? Gold diggers don't read long copy?

BTW, a woman who later contacted me claimed she and her (now deceased) husband owned a 58 foot yacht (made by a company which never made a 58 footer) and used to keep it at a local yacht club (which was a yacht club for small sailboard (the kind a guy or two could lift off the top of a car) racers and is today a health club).

Most women are not money-grubbers, but those who wannabe (and ulitmately fail) go on and on and on and on about stipping wallets is their right. My brother, who indeed has some money, drives a 25 year old pickup truck. He learned to do that, as I learned to include in my profile my athleticism.

Gold diggers, who are a variation on a theme called hookers, only get to sleep with men no other woman wants. It's a Faustian bargain, but they think they "came out a little bit ahead", the very same words as used by compulsive gamblers to explain how they lost most everything they ever had.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 115
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 9:00:37 AM
^^^^ I've done what wayward has, putting a pic of myself wearing a suit and (whoops I don't wear ties ), standing in front of my brother in laws fancy dancy car, looking "pretty" for the camera. I was amazed but not surprised the amount of new contacts I received and from whom. Funny what people can assume by just the clothes that ya wear. ( I phucking HATE suits,,,almost as much as I hate ties )
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 116
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 9:01:46 AM

then most women past age 45 are past their days as a womanly woman.

Huh? So what makes a woman "womanly" is the amount of time there is a penis going in and out of her vagina? By that token, then the most womanly women in our society are sex workers or the dive bar Dumbelinas? Now I understand why SO MANY women over 45 who lose a partner to death or whose marriages finally fall down dead, seem to attach ASAP to some of the lamest-ass losers you never hope to see, or marry men that they don't even LIKE..."but it's better than being alone". What it's really about is that if she doesn't have sex on a frequent basis(or is PRESUMED to be having it), then clueless people will deem her as a less womanly woman? WTF?!
"Womanly"is a state of mind, IMO. While it certainly includes a healthy enjoyment of sex, it also respects herself, her own self esteem, safety,cares about keeping her family, home, and personal finances from danger. "Womanly" cares about people, the planet, children, living by the Golden Rule, whether or not she ascribes to any formalized faith/ belief system. If she is unpartnered and choses a partner, it's because she loves and respects him, not due to some concern about "being alone",or to meet some perceived social criteria that requires a woman to have a resident penis in order to be a valid human being.
Some of the most womenly women I know are those who are caring for husbands whose health is failing to a degree that I'm pretty sure sex isn't part of the picture, but LOVE still is.
But if men choose to attach" womanliness" to frequency of sex, then the 40 yr old crack whore working a street corner is more womanly than the woman who chooses her relationship partners based on the pleasure of his company and the MUTUAL enrichment( over a wide range of factors) ,even if that means she isn't getting consistently schtupped every day and twice on Sunday , yeah well, that just shows me that IF women over 45 have sex less frequently, one GOOD reason might be that their potential satisfactory partners need to be more than just a walking penis, and men like that are scarce. Ever think that maybe a woman over 45 might have sex less frequently because her partner has difficulties, or if she is unpartnered, the selection of men that she would want to have a relationship with is so limited???
Cindy O
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 117
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 9:03:17 AM
I agree with your post WWW. So it seems that all a man has to do to increase the responses to his profile is to add photos of expensive boats, expensive cars, expensive clothes, etc. By the same token it seems that all a woman has to do to increase the responses to her profile is to wear a low cut top, show the flowing hair, show a little leg and pose provocatively with a "come fvck me" look. I have to agree with you. Remember the old days of POF when it showed the number of Favorites on your profile? The gals showing the most skin had the most favs and they guys that displayed their wealth also had the most favs. What does it say about us....we're shallow, go for the looks and after the cash.

As for education equaling earning potential, probably a great deal of truth to that. But there are a lot of wealthy folks in business that don't have a master's degree or any degree. Degrees don't make you smart, just means you can study. And degees don't make you wealthy. Work is work. A smart hard working gravel truck owner can go from owning one truck to owning a fleet and make a ton of money. I've seen those with little formal education become very, very wealthy through hard work. But do you ONLY place the value of a human being on the size of their wallet? I place value more on the fact that they are a good human being. There are a lot of azzholes out there in Hugo Boss suits driving a Mercedes and there are a lot of nice folks out there in pickup trucks.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 118
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 9:05:35 AM

One thing I do see here in the forums often, is when a woman is seeking financial security in a man, she's called a 'gold digger' or 'self-entitled' or an 'opportunist.' Not everyone says that, but sure as the sun rises, you see those comments anytime this subject is discussed here


Yes, and these same folks thought they married for love too? lol So much for that.

imo jersey girl, it's just sour grapes to those who still whine & cry which is normal if freshly divorced,etc, but not still say for 3,5,10, 20 years later? wtf



But let a woman seek out a financially secure man and it can't possibly be due to genetic programming causing them to seek out a successful provider; no, it MUST be because she's a shrewish, self entitled gold digger whose out to take his fortune.


read above>>>>>> if you only married him or her for money, what is the other binding ingredients,if need be, that keeps it all together?
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 119
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 9:09:12 AM
Actually I have no problems with a woman marrying a guy for his money, provided she gives him the full value of his money. As in, acting as a wife, taking care of him and the house, and actually earning her keep.


If she has to "earn her keep" she hasn't married for money; she has gotten herself a job contract. That's not gold digging, as some have said. That's like digging for nickel, or maybe quartz.


I have to ask, because I am VERY confused as to what this actually means or is defined by those that you use it,,,,,"financially secure"???????


On the American TV channels, I have seen a lot of stories about people who believed they were financially secure, only to lose everything. The recession did not hit Canada as hard as the U.S, and the mortgage sector did not collapse, but I do know people who lost their jobs. Some fared better than others. People who lived paychque to paycheque and who had no savings, no emergency fund, and high credit card balances were screwed. At least one couple I know, who both worked for an American company with branches in Canada ended up filing for bankruptcy when they both lost their jobs. They couldn't get by on EI which apparently has a max of 60 percent of your income.

If I were inclined to remarry, I wouldn't be hitching my wagon to someone who couldn't get by for a few months without working, should something like that happen. Some savings, an emergency fund, some sort of retirement fund or pension, and low debt make a person my age (45) financially "secure" in my opinion. However, in some ways, there really is no such thing as security unless you are super rich.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 120
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 9:21:39 AM

savings, an emergency fund, some sort of retirement fund or pension, and low debt make a person my age (45) financially "secure" in my opinion. However, in some ways, there really is no such thing as security unless you are super rich.


Or we could go the other way and keep our "wants and needs" to a minumum???? Maybe????? But, that would fly in the face of what we believe to be "succesful" isn't it????? We look fondly on people that have a mortgage, cause ya "own" your home. We look fondly on people that have a vehicle. We look fondly on people that have the good looking clothes that make us "look" appealing to those around us. Etc,etc,etc.

And don't worry, in Canada we are not out of the dark just yet. I would wait until our interest rates bump up in the next 6-8 months before we start patting ourselves on the back. The shiat IS gonna hit the fan here, in my opinion, just a matter of when.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 121
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 9:22:31 AM

Gold diggers, who are a variation on a theme called hookers, only get to sleep with men no other woman wants.

wtf? are you saying that all men who are financially attractive are automatically unattractive in all other respects? Wow, I'm gonna go notify the local high school to encourage male students to drop out,because if they work hard and become financially well-to-do, they will become men that only gold-digging women want?
Here's another WTF-why do we see SO many threads where men are b*tching that women only go for broke-ass loser unemployed ex-con men? Sounds like we're damned if we do, damned if we don't. If we chose a male partner who isn't a highly educated big-income guy, we're"chasing after the bad boys". If we choose an educated man with a 6 figure income, we're gold diggers. And also, during our hunting/decision making processes, we must find weiner rides on a regular basis or we will stop being womanly women. Amazing. Just simply-amazing.
Cindy O
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 122
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 10:12:40 AM

And don't worry, in Canada we are not out of the dark just yet. I would wait until our interest rates bump up in the next 6-8 months before we start pat ourselves on the back. The shiat IS gonna hit the fan here, in my opinion, just a matter of when


I agree with you that we are not out of the woods yet, and the borrowing rate will go up. I was worried about this very thing, being 2.5 years into a five year mortgage term. I shopped around a bit, did some research and calculations, and basically called my lender (major Canadian bank) and told them I was thinking of switching my mortgage. Two phone calls later, they reduced my rate by a little over a percent and locked it in for the next five years.

You simply cannot predict everything (which was the point of my post) but you can/should do whatever you can to protect yourself. I don't want to be a poor little old lady living on Canada Pension. I cannot afford to be passive, and I can't afford to support another adult, either. Well, technically, I guess I could, but I don't think I should have to.


Or we could go the other way and keep our "wants and needs" to a minumum???? Maybe????? But, that would fly in the face of what we believe to be "succesful" isn't it????? We look fondly on people that have a mortgage, cause ya "own" your home. We look fondly on people that have a vehicle.


Well, Walts, it's all relative, isn't it? I don't think owning a home makes you more "successful", but if you have made a good investment it does make you more secure in your old age. You can sell it at a profit, and have a nest egg to supplement your pension. To me, that makes more sense than renting, but some people would rather rent because it costs less, and they can use the extra money to invest in something other than real estate.

With all due respect, how low is the minimum? Yes, all we need to survive is a roof over our heads, food, and clothing. You can get the bare minimum on social assistance if need be. If that satisfies you, great. I like having a car. I love road trips ( as opposed to lengthy stays on my yacht in the south of France...j/k) and the convenience makes my life easier, not to mention I live in a different city from the one in which I work. That doesn't make me superficial, or wasteful IMO.

I am well aware of the difficulties faced by low income families, as I grew up in one. My mum and dad worked hard, but faced lay offs (the 1980's recession) hikes in interest rates, unforeseen losses, and, in short, somehow never got ahead. In fact, I am working hard to make some provisions ( along with my siblings) for my parents in the not too distant future because their pensions don't seem to be keeping pace with the increases in their rent and other costs of living. I also volunteer at two different organizations that provide support for those in need. I am not some insensitive greedy person who values fancy possessions above all else. My home is pretty small and simple. I don't even have a big tv. I am simply trying to provide a secure future for myself the best I can.


We look fondly on people that have the good looking clothes that make us "look" appealing to those around us. Etc,etc,etc.


I like to look nice, but the only thing in my wardrobe over fifty bucks is my winter coat. I can't fathom paying a hundred bucks or more for designer handbag, or brand name sunglasses. I don't care much for that kind of stuff.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 123
view profile
History
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 10:53:20 AM

I don't blame any guy who wants a pre nup especially if he owned property before marriage.


In California and most western states, at least, courts assume that property either partner owned before their marriage is their own. Couldn't say about Canada.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 124
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 12:21:13 PM

What word didn't you understand? AARP? survey? 2004?


What do you not understand about CITING sources? When you give stats, you need to post the WEBSITE address or PRINT source where your readers can check out what you say. I googled AARP survey 2004 and the topic and couldn't find anything supporting what you said.

In addition, there is NO need for you to be rude or testy because I asked. Please post the address or print source for your information. If you are citing the information from memory, memories are faulty; in addition, information can be taken out of context.


Well Gwendolyn2010, although I have found most of your posts informative, I think by quoting you above^^^, shows that you have a dislike for the self~proclaimed 'cougar'. It doesn't reflect very well on you to start name calling.


I have been termed "cougar" and I find it insulting; I can only speak from experience, but most women whom I have talked to read opinions also dislike the term. The only profiles I have seen of women who called themselves "cougars" were anything but cougarish. A cougar is a sleek, physically powerful animal, eh?


A friend of mine who is a 'cougar' is one of the most confident women I know. She is smart, attractive, successful, financially secure (by her own means) & enjoys sex. At 50+, her energy level is through the roof.


Does she call herself a cougar? Does she say, in all seriousness, "Hey, I am a cougar?" Is that how she introduces herself to men? Why? Isn't it enough to be just a woman of 50+ who is attractive, successful, etc.?


Ahhh, but I digress, is it actually possible to want & enjoy sex after 40.


What does liking sex after 40 have to do with the term "cougar"? I love sex and I am 58, but again, I don't need a term applied to me because I have lived with and dated younger men. I also have sex with men my age and older than I am.


I've done what wayward has, putting a pic of myself wearing a suit and (whoops I don't wear ties ), standing in front of my brother in laws fancy dancy car, I was amazed but not surprised the amount of new contacts I received and from whom.


And when I put a picture on my profile showing cleavage and leg, the number of men who contact me rises quite a bit. From this, I assume that MOST men are only impressed by how a woman looks, not be the quality of what she writes.


---However, the news was still pretty grim. If a "sexless relationship" is defined -- as it is by marriage counselers -- as one where the couple has ten or fewer sexual encounters in a year's time, then most women past age 45 are past their days as a womanly woman.


You are veering off topic, but I want to address your claim.

Oh, please! Then 60+ men are past their days of being a manly man. The plus 60 guys whom I have dated have huge problems getting an erection and keeping it. In fact, men in their 50s had problems. And trust me--it wasn't me! The younger men have never had a problem.

In a real life situation (not an online meeting), I was approached by a 65 year old man. I refused his advances. Later, I heard one of his friends say to him, "Man, she would give you a heart attack."

Of course, many men who have ED can get Viagra.

I have also heard many married men moan about their wives not wanting to have sex with them or divorced men moan the same about their ex wives. I wouldn't have sex with them either--it had nothing to do with their wives libidos: they just weren't turned on by their husbands.

I happen to be one of the women.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 125
increasing numbers of women are marrying men for their money
Posted: 1/8/2011 12:31:56 PM


wtf? are you saying that all men who are financially attractive are automatically unattractive in all other respects? Wow, I'm gonna go notify the local high school to encourage male students to drop out,because if they work hard and become financially well-to-do, they will become men that only gold-digging women want?
Here's another WTF-why do we see SO many threads where men are b*tching that women only go for broke-ass loser unemployed ex-con men? Sounds like we're damned if we do, damned if we don't. If we chose a male partner who isn't a highly educated big-income guy, we're"chasing after the bad boys". If we choose an educated man with a 6 figure income, we're gold diggers. And also, during our hunting/decision making processes, we must find weiner rides on a regular basis or we will stop being womanly women. Amazing. Just simply-amazing.
Cindy O


I find this is mostly the attitude of men posters on POF and few in real life think like this. I feel in my opinion that most men that post don't particularly like women, and find every reason to crap on them. Like this thread, it went to education to money in a flash. The men who are on POF to date like the free thingie and won't open their wallet to go on a pay site so they are not a good example of what is really out there. I personally rarely date from here as most men on here want to know right at hello what my job is. When I say I am a Blankety blank sales person they want to know how many sales I have had this year. I have even been on meet n greets that all the men could do was stare at my jewelry and some have even held my hand asking what is that ring worth? Men who have wanted to move into my home before they even knew my last name. So for me taking anything any man states on the forums seriously is a nix. POF is littered with low life men, broke men who have nothing going on in their life but to shiit on women who they can't get.

THIS is ONLY my opinion and does not reflect on ALL men here, just the majority. If you think I am talking about you ... I am not so quite being so defensive.

So Cindy yep the men are going to biitch if we want a financially independent man, biitch if we date a man who makes minimum wage, good boy, bad boy; makes no difference we are ALWAY in the wrong.

Personally I want a semi-bad boy who likes to live on the edge, have fun, is great looking, has pots of money and doesn't have a profile on POF ... looks like I am going south again this winter hahaha.
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