Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 673
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want? Page 19 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
I can understand that guy, I think. Just guessing of course.

Maybe it's because I am who I am, but I am also not the kind of guy who CAN enjoy partial pseudo intimacy with someone, when I am not attracted to them across the board. Maybe it was as simple, or perhaps as subtle as that. Even people looking for no-strings sex, don't necessarily want to have it in a mechanical, callous fashion.

As to the general question about women having an easier time of it getting sex when they want it, I think it's obvious that this is true. Not because women are female and men are male, not because men are hotter for women than vice versa, and certainly not because "women want love first." Any guy who has had his innards ripped out by discovering that his once-thought-to-be-true-love has boinked some guy off the street for quick fun, knows that THAT is a load of crap.

No, the simple reason women have it a LITTLE easier, is that so many social "rule sets" are still based upon the male-dominated systems we have. Though various social "liberations" have made it possible for women to make the first move, it is still true that most don't, and that those who do, are very aware that they are breaking with precedent. I still see women write into these forums, and say in a single post, both that they have no compunctions about leading the way, while at the same time, they talk about how the guy has to "prove himself" in a guy way, nevertheless. Contradictions abound.

I have read about guys who claimed that they cared so little for who (or what) they had sex with, that they would go into a crowd of people, and simply ask every woman they could, to have sex with them. Sooner or later, one would say yes. So, from that sort of point of view, I would say it's probably "true" that ANYONE, male or female, can find a sex partner when they want to.

But that's not what most people mean when they talk about this subject, and I think everyone here actually knows that.

I think it's probably true, that all the basic aspects of attraction, each have their place in deciding who has an easier time of things.

1. Looks. Number one, always. Better looking people always have an easier time than the not so attractive.

2. Wealth. Same thing. Richer people have an easier time than poorer ones, even when the people being chased, aren't even remotely gold-diggers of either sex.

3. Status. Higher status people have an easier time of things sexually. This even gets confirmed throughout the entire animal kingdom, so no need to prove it here.

But in the end, what does it really matter? This is how it has always been, and it always will be. Protesting about it wont change it, because it IS built into our natures.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 674
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/28/2013 5:14:37 PM
Whenever isn't the problem, its the who.



It's no wonder so many women say they don't like other women for friends -- if they constantly make such snippy, back-biting, b!tchy comments that they then try to pass off as impartial comment (not unlike CNN...), I wouldn't like them for friends, either.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

What women do you know?

Is that Jr High memories of catty little hormonal rednecks?
I don't know or associate with grown women like that.

Stop obsessing over moonbeam and interpreting her words in a way you feel you can go after her and feel you upped her in some way with snide comments.
Makes you look foolish...and as if someone may need some LUV themselves.





Anyhoo
A mans wealth has never gotten me in the bed, but their poverty has kept me out.
Not the same thing.
 Penny_Farthing
Joined: 8/4/2013
Msg: 675
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/28/2013 8:43:54 PM

^^^ Y'know, moonie, there's a point when, the more you try to "explain it away", the worse it sounds. It's known as "cutting your losses", or more commonly as "knowing when the hell to shut up"...


^^^ Arlo,you really should take your own advice!!
Ive noticed in LOTS of Threads you'll pick a couple of 'targets' and then start being argumentative with them like its a hobby of yours?
Oh and most women love and treasure their female friendships
 Steam_Engenius
Joined: 8/20/2013
Msg: 676
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/28/2013 9:45:04 PM
Can't we all get along and agree this thread question doesn't mean a thing.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 677
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/29/2013 7:01:43 AM

There was nothing “snippy, back biting, or b itchy” about Moonbeamlover’s posts. She related a story relevant to the thread.

That's the way I took it-as an informational anecdote, not as a woman backstabbing a friend...
But lets look at that "backstabbing"?
It would seem that many of the male participants in these forums WANT women to take more initiative in arranging romantic and/or sexual liasons. Men want women to have more pragmatic& relaxed view of sexual intercourse rather than attaching all kinds of extra meanings and expectations.
But here we have a woman relating a situation where a woman did EXACTLY that-and it is presumed(by some) that the purpose of the anecdote is to insult and degrade the woman who did exactly what so many men say they WANT women to do.

(and by the way, there appears to be a misunderstanding in the interpretation of mine. the friend in my case was the guy in question. The woman in question was a woman he met online for the express purpose of hooking up as zero strings FBs.

Actually, I kind of thought that this was the direction the anecdote came from.
However

if the WOMAN was my friend, I'd never in a million years have posted what I did on wanting him to get it on with her

This bears out the still-existing double standard,IMO. Men want women to approach, to initiate sexual activities( whether intercourse or other sexual activity)-how many men piss and moan all the time because they wish women would be more free and active with non-reciprocal oral sex? Yet someone posts an anecdote about just such a forward-thinking and uninhibited woman, and 98% of those reading said anecdote presume that it was posted to insult the woman?
We may have come a long way, baby, but we still aren't there yet, are we?

So at the end of the day the response you got about bashing a good female friend was completely inaccurate.

Indded,but it sure showed where people's heads are still REALLY at, don't it?

A mans wealth has never gotten me in the bed, but their poverty has kept me out.
Not the same thing.

Absofreakinlutely.And who says "poverty" is necessarily confined to lack of material goods?

Can't we all get along and agree this thread question doesn't mean a thing.

While I completely appreciate the points in this quote, I do have to say that the answers to this meaningless thread question are quite revealing in some respects...
Cindy O
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 678
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/29/2013 11:31:44 AM
Sure I can. My desire to....zero.

I've only been with a few men in my life and unless I feel a strong emotional attachment, I'd rather watch TV or go shopping. Nobody is going to touch my body except for my guy and then it is heaven....can't get enough. My head, heart and body all have to be in it. Sex without emotion to me is like downing a bottle of vodka to get drunk....never done that either and no interest in ever doing so.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 679
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/29/2013 1:11:17 PM

(fleuron) You are waaaaay out of line here. There was nothing “snippy, back biting, or b itchy” about Moonbeamlover’s posts. She related a story relevant to the thread.


I guess we're not reading the same post. Or, are you unfamiliar with the concept of "throwing your friends under the bus"? It *IS* possible to make a point without relating an anecdote that slangs a supposed friend; if you can't make the point without implicitly trashing somebody, then either the point is not that important, or good taste would dictate that maybe you should keep silent. Too many people seem to think that, because they have the right to speak, they are somehow *OBLIGATED* to speak...


Who are all these imaginary women who say they don’t like other women for friends?


I must run into imaginary women every day, then.


That’s just the male delusion ...


Keep telling yourself that, Toots.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 680
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/29/2013 2:05:48 PM

I must run into imaginary women every day, then.


I’m sure you do.

You may want to keep up with the thread, darlin. You’re way behind.

OT

Sadly, I can’t have sex with Kiko Alonzo right now. :( Damn he is hot!
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 681
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/29/2013 6:48:53 PM

are you unfamiliar with the concept of "throwing your friends under the bus"?


if moonbeam was "throwing a friend under the bus" it was the guy - my impression was that she didn't know the woman enough to be friendly with her.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 682
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/29/2013 8:26:19 PM
Hey, thank you guys for trying to get him to not twist mine; but he WANTS to believe it. It gives him someone to try to throw a punch at.

I apologize for my little story throwing this topic so far off the rails even though I thought it was an incredibly valid to the topic story ( and yes divinebovine and womaninprogress; you are correct. I have never laid eyes on the woman ever, she was an online intimate encounter potential f-buddy to my guy friend who met him with the purpose of them both getting it on. I have never talked to her, never laid eyes on her, don't know her from adam except from my friend talking about her; feel bad for her that she did out herself out there and have that reaction; and agree cindy-o, there is nothing wrong with a woman taking the bull by the horn (no pun intended) and telling a guy they want to get it on. Why should it only be the guy; and if they want physical only, and the guy is cool ith that, why does it have to be the guy who approaches? People are adults; how they handle adult things are between the individuals; no one else needs to judge)

No one is going to convince Arlo anything that will back him off from his current needing to punch attack; he NEEDS to have a target. I just am not going to volley with him; there is no point to it; he will only hear the worst and keep attacking; and there are better things to talk about so thanks, but let him have his delusions of catfights and jello wrestling. So you don't need to defend me, I don't want the topic off the rails anymore; it needs to get back on topic. But a heartfelt thank you for trying to get him to understand my post. But a person sees hat they want to see. And he WANTS to see hateful obnoxious behavior, so he can show what a mature, reasonable person he is :)

Because he does mature reasonableness very well.


So... to get the train back on the tracks.

I want to talk about volcanoking's post, because that post made me really really sad, but I thought it was so courageous to put. She is right; when your choice is empty boinking from people who don't care about you from adam who are emotionally closed, or nothing, there is a loneliness that can be there... that makes the ability to "get laid" not only empty, but empty AND lonely. You can be lonelier with a human body next to you than you are by yourself.

The act of sex some people see in this glorified way, some people see it in this dirty way, some people see in this rosy glowed idealized way...

but the fact of the matter is, the very nature of the question "getting laid" is by definition to me at least, offensive. Because it is boinking by two people who don't care who each other is. And while sure we CAN, that is something I won't do. Who they are, Who they are to ME and how we are connected? Without those things being present? Physical union will be lacking something; and that something is depth, and connection. And without those? It is flat, it is a burst of chocolate followed by the dieter's remorse after, it is the flash followed by the loneliness.

The other, the after brings MORE contentment, more closeness, more connection.

So the question really should be, can women REALLY make love hwen they want?

And the answer to that?

is an unequivocal no. Because it requires an emotionally open, healthy, balanced man to make love WITH, and so many people are scared spitless of opening up.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 683
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/30/2013 4:30:36 AM
"I want to talk about volcanoking's post, because that post made me really really sad,"

This had the same effect for me......


But dpwesu post made me even more sad.....


"And what a sad reality it is out here with what we all face.

- And the older we all get the worse it is. I can't tell you how many guys just want to be in a FWB situation with nothing more in the way of commitments. 

So in all truth......there truly aren't that many desirables out here."


Someone recently described me as "true romantic & sociological realist" and commented that it must make dating for me "maddening"........

And if I were to be truthful it does......as I am fully aware of the "undesirables" that are out there......but no matter how many times I am confronted with those that are not right for me......I never give up HOPE and I truly BELIEVE that there are some great ones out there........


Moonbeamlover:

"So the question really should be, can women REALLY make love hwen they want?And the answer to that?is an unequivocal no. Because it requires an emotionally open, healthy, balanced man to make love WITH, and so many people are scared spitless of opening up."


This is exactly why the original question is rather irrelevant to most women.......and pointless really.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 684
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/30/2013 3:38:09 PM

(moonbeamlover) I was WISHING he took her up on it and was surprised that he didn't.


Oh, bovine excrement. You absolutely *LOVE* having some guy pining for you, imagining that you've ruined him for all other women, without even sleeping with him.


Thanks for looking out for women everywhere.


I'm always on the lookout for women!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 685
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/30/2013 9:23:30 PM
So the question really should be, can women REALLY make love hwen they want?

That's a totally different question, a totally different concept. I see where you're going with it... sure, it's a "Of course a woman get have sex with SOME guy EXTREMELY easily if she goes out a decent amount."

1. Guy who's solidly BELOW her league: Yes, obvious. This is where it's a duh, yeah -- but so what? There's no 'quality' there for her, unless she hasn't been been laid in forever and her hormones are wanting a scratch. But many women are obsessed about image & rep, and not wanting to be seen as a 'skank' -- even privately to themselves, from culture conditioning. Thus, digging below her league isn't what most women would want anyway as well as many guys, even if it's just as much 'work' as it is for most guys.

2. Guy who's essentially IN her league: Yes. This is where it begins to matter. There's quality.

3. Guy who's essentially OUT of her league: Yes. This is where it really does matter and where guys can be envious. For guys, this is like a mid-major beating a top-of-the-line SEC team in college football. You're going to need a lot of tries, a lot of rejections (losses), and therefore a lot of games for the luck to also come your way to pull it off. For girls? Depends on how far out of her league and what league she's at, but for an average Jane, it'd be like a top-of-the-line SEC team beating an okay mid-major by over 21pts. She'd have to 'show up' for the game and know what she's doing, but that's about it.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 686
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/30/2013 10:33:34 PM

I want to talk about volcanoking's post, because that post made me really really sad, but I thought it was so courageous to put. She is right; when your choice is empty boinking from people who don't care about you from adam who are emotionally closed, or nothing, there is a loneliness that can be there... that makes the ability to "get laid" not only empty, but empty AND lonely. You can be lonelier with a human body next to you than you are by yourself.


And what of those who have no choice at all? Try and imagine how they feel. Maybe empty, lonely, and outcast. No, even beyond that since even the outcasts aren't interested.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 687
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/30/2013 10:53:01 PM
on confident realists:


Interesting, you took my question WAY different than it was meant to be asked; but your answer as telling I think.

You are talking about what kind of guys she can land if she wants; and those were interesting takes.

I can't speak for everyone; there are a lot of women who probably do sleep with people based on image and standing, but I more associate that with something that a guy would do than a woman. I know SOME women like to name drop in someone they are dating; but not someone they are getting it on with... (though I take that back; there is some girl talk that could make a sailor blush I have heard sometimes; so I take that back. SOME women do have the image thing I guess...

The whole leagues thing again? This is where I find the forums so intersting. In the forums, we are constantly told what league we are actually in; and we are told what we deserve.

And what people don't understand? Is that SOME people's perception of what people "should expect to be able to land to date"? Is not the actual. People have preferences. Everyone has different preferences. And people with certain specific preferences? Happen to fall in ALL the leagues, not just the low to middle. No one can tell other people who they "deserve" to think they can land based on their OWN preferences. The people who are in what people call the "upper leagues" are people who are smart enough to know what they want, confident enough to want someone that THEY find mesmerizing (their personal or physical preference) whether that society tells them is not the "conventional" or not; and if not and they tell people to take a flying leap; though they don't even do that; they ignore the people as idiots. Because they know what they like and they are confident enough in themselves to go for it and think nothing of it. If anyone's jealous of the woman in that scenario? That's kind of silly, isn't it (or a man if it is reversed gender)? She is what floats their boat personally and physically just like anyone else, just like many times a conventionally beautiful woman can go for a guy that is not "conventionally handsome" but he can have either breathtaking eyes or an amazing wit or a bust your gut funny sense of humor to them; and he is attractive as the total package.

Because in real life it does not translate. There ARE no cut and dried leagues. There are people with preferences. And a LOT of people have enough confidence to actually go for what THEY like, not what they are told "society says" they are SUPPOSED to like. Everyone's different. People assume they speak for everyone. And the people who are the most TRULY confident? Could care less about conventional and do exactly what floats their boat; and are rock solid in themselves doing it. It is the insecure ones who need the "conventional trophy" to make them appear to be in a league that they actually sometimes aren't. And insecure ones who buy into the fact only one type of person can be accepted as pretty or handsome. When there are a LOT of variations of beauty in people across the board, if people would quit being sheep and actually open their eyes and see it.

OK, soapbox over.

hat I ACTALLY meant by the above though? Wasn't what league a woman could land sexually. A woman can land all of them sexually. It is whether she can land sexual and mental INTIMACY, literal making love, not boinking a stranger.

That is a very different kettle of fish, and that is what volcano king was talking about that I agreed with. Straight no strings no interaction no intimacy sex, I dont' want with ANY league. If I find someone who I click with on all levels, with emotional connection, physical chemistry, mental connectedness and a strong openness? I don't care what "league" the guy is in (it's not a reputation thing; it's a thing personal to ME), he is someone i'd WANT to be with.

That was what i meant by could we make love whenever we want. Mindless boinking yep, all leagues. Connected, incredible mental and physical passion? Nope.. That requires someone who trusts, wants openness and is not afraid.

And THAT is not easy to find.


And what of those who have no choice at all? Try and imagine how they feel. Maybe empty, lonely, and outcast. No, even beyond that since even the outcasts aren't interested.



Ouch, that makes me incredibly sad too. Connections with human beings are incredibly important. I guess the question is, are you looking to PHYSICALLY connect to a convenient body, or are you wanting to ACTUALLY connect to a flesh and blood woman? I have frequently seen people talk about how they want to "get laid" but actually connecting to the entire package? I don't see that. Is there a possibility that trying to come across as cavalier and a little cynical maybe disconnects a little? The fact you also are opening up and showing courage to be vulnerable? Arrogant defeatist cynicism can repel, but vulnerable approach to a person, not sexual approach to a woman?

Might have you give off a different vibe, and you might be surprised what kind of response you get. But I am really sorry that has been your experience so far...
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 688
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 9/30/2013 11:48:55 PM

Ouch, that makes me incredibly sad too. Connections with human beings are incredibly important. I guess the question is, are you looking to PHYSICALLY connect to a convenient body, or are you wanting to ACTUALLY connect to a flesh and blood woman?


That depends - what time is it?


I have frequently seen people talk about how they want to "get laid" but actually connecting to the entire package? I don't see that. Is there a possibility that trying to come across as cavalier and a little cynical maybe disconnects a little? The fact you also are opening up and showing courage to be vulnerable? Arrogant defeatist cynicism can repel, but vulnerable approach to a person, not sexual approach to a woman?

Might have you give off a different vibe, and you might be surprised what kind of response you get. But I am really sorry that has been your experience so far...


So let me explain my first comment a little more. My goal in connecting with humans changes hourly due to my depression and past life events. There are times when the thought of physical contact actually repulses me. Other times I do feel like just an appealing body would do (i.e. a stripper or high priced hooker; but I don't go there). Then the hardest times to deal with are missing the special connection that I had with my ex during the good times. And distractions don't always work during all of these times. So, you will see me post like above when I am in a mood or when the topic hits a nerve.

Now, do I have an attitude? Hell yes I do! Is it one of arrogance?? Not a chance in hell, for to be arrogant requires a feeling of superiority; never in my life have I had a feeling of superiority. Defeatist? Oh yes, life has beat me down over and over and over and over; hard not to feel this way. And this has definitely made me very cynical over they years. This vibe has only been in place since the divorce, and I know that my opinions are not popular but they have been reinforced over and over again through not only my own experiences but friends/acquaintances as well.

My buddy has always told me that he values me as a friend because, as he says, I am WYSIWYG and am incapable of lying (even though I actually am capable, I just won't). No other vibe I give off has ever worked either with the one exception of my now ex-wife. And that turned to crap eventually as well.

So tonight, once again, I feel like I just don't belong on this planet. I do appreciate your reply, however.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 689
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 6:25:19 AM
I was under the impression anyone can get sex anytime they want to...you just have to let go of what you want. For instance, a guy can have sex with another guy if he wants. Sure, he may be heterosexual, but he can always be the bottom so he doesn't have to be erect. That's still sex. It may not be the type of sex he wants, but if you HAVE to get laid...well, there ya go. You can close your eyes and let the guy have his way with your Mr. Mr.

A woman can walk up to homeless guy, show some leg and go into an alley. Again, this probably won't be the type of sex she wants...but hey, if you HAVE to get laid.

*shrug* Getting laid isn't the hard part.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 690
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 7:02:15 AM

Straight no strings no interaction no intimacy sex, I dont' want with ANY league. If I find someone who I click with on all levels, with emotional connection, physical chemistry, mental connectedness and a strong openness? I don't care what "league" the guy is in (it's not a reputation thing; it's a thing personal to ME), he is someone i'd WANT to be with.


I guess this is where the validity of this question/thread might be.

I hypothesize that a big part of the reason why many women aren't dying for just "getting laid" by "anyone" is that it is available. In the back of their mind, they know they CAN have sex with a guy whenever they want, just by dropping standards, so that placates the desperation in their mind, and they can focus on more meaningful sex/relationships/higher quality guys/whatever.

On the flip side, that bottom half of guys has nowhere they can go at any time for sex unless they have 200-300 bucks to spare or is willing to risk a 20 dollar hooker on the corner and possible jail. Thus the "desperation trigger" hits in their mind, and they start wanting -any- sex. Even guys that can now GET sex REMEMBER not being able to get it, and it becomes like a man who was once starving at a feast, they overindulge because, in the back of their minds, they know they could be "starving" again.

That's the way the sexual imbalance kicks in - it's an issue of a person who isn't able to get something wanting it more than someone who is.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 691
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 7:49:17 AM

I hypothesize that a big part of the reason why many women aren't dying for just "getting laid" by "anyone" is that it is available. In the back of their mind, they know they CAN have sex with a guy whenever they want, just by dropping standards, so that placates the desperation in their mind, and they can focus on more meaningful sex/relationships/higher quality guys/whatever.


Well I think it more because the sex just isnt that good, there may be a little bit of an emotional thrill for some, but for me and I think a lot of women, the sex just isnt that good. So what is the appeal of an hour of more than likely crappy sex?

Maybe most men should start to look at an emotional connection as something that works to their advantage sexually, it is usually the only reason most women are willing to put in the time until the sex gets good....
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 692
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 8:01:20 AM
I imagine many people would prefer sex mainly to be in the context of a caring relationship, but if they have dry stretches in between & are human & sexually functionally, they may want to indulge in sex for sex's sake. Just to take the edge off I imagine. I think if they are honest w/ their partner(s) about their intent, there is nothing wrong w/ that. Older folks who are raising children or dealing w/ an elderly parent may not be able to commit to a relatonship, but enjoy some physical intimacy, hence the FWB deal.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 693
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 8:36:37 AM
You are talking about what kind of guys she can land if she wants; and those were interesting takes.

Yep. The answer to the thread's question is a simple "Yes" if it means a guy regardless of how attractive he is. Finding a Boyfriend or boyfriend-to-be is an entirely different question. But the thread brings up two variations one may have: (a) WHO, and (b) How Easily? How easily depends on the "who" -- how attractive they are, compared to the girl.

The whole leagues thing again?

Very simple concept. How good of a catch they are, "on paper". Notably in this topic, about picking someone up & hooking up, it's essentially Looks. And every semi-intelligent person knows looks are Not Random.

Ever see a girl introduce you to the new guy she's starting to date, and in about 30 seconds of shaking hands and exchanging "hellos", you think "She can do better"? Or "Wow, she lucked out"?

Or a guy you see that could get a ton of women out in a bar, vs another guy who you feel a bit of sympathy for who would struggle to?

That's what leagues are in reference to. Simple concept. Emotionally difficult for some, because they don't want to believe in things that might hurt their feelings/ego/etc.

Because in real life it does not translate. There ARE no cut and dried leagues. There are people with preferences.

It's NOT random though. Otherwise models on TV would be randomly selected. They're not. No, leagues are not cut & dried. They're ballpark ranges -- they vary. There's some subjectivity to it. That does not mean it's purely subjective.

If how good of a catch one is was random -- then all guys who write girls on POF or other matchmaking sites would get the same % of replies to the same level of beautiful women if they all had the same writing ability and weren't creepers in what they wrote or their profile.

That's not the case. At all. Or IRL. Again, it's a ballpark range. One can get someone out of their league, sure. Other factors play into it and make it more spread out. But to say that looks/taste is even close to Random would be completely ridiculous. Just because there's subjectivity involved, exceptions thrown in there sometimes, does not mean it's totally subjective & random. At all.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 694
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 9:00:38 AM

So what is the appeal of an hour of more than likely crappy sex?


That is something that always surprises me. The failure to realize that no sex is often better than bad sex. Whenever a guy tells me how it must be nice to get sex so easily, I point out he's probably never had sex with a strange guy before. If he's willing to have a strange penis invade his orifices, more power to him. I'd rather watch Ink Master.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 695
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 9:12:29 AM

Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?


I don't know about women in general, but I can get laid whenever I want. It takes very little effort to entice someone, offer, or have them propose something of the sort. And I'm not just talking about men *wink*, temptations take no vacations.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 696
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 9:43:43 AM

I can't speak for everyone; there are a lot of women who probably do sleep with people based on image and standing, but I more associate that with something that a guy would do than a woman. I know SOME women like to name drop in someone they are dating; but not someone they are getting it on with... (though I take that back; there is some girl talk that could make a sailor blush I have heard sometimes; so I take that back. SOME women do have the image thing I guess...


"probably"? pretty sure there are many more FEMALE "groupies" than male groupies.. women who follow movie stars, rock stars, athletes and will "do" any of them because of the fame, image

even fugly dudes like Mick Jagger or Keith Richards, I am sure saw more ass than a toilet seat at Yankee Stadium. or at least they COULD have if they so chose

if Mick Jagger were a taxi driver he might still be a virgin, lol

I don't hear of many guys lusting for women based 'purely' on fame, or status. maybe if she is ALSO good-looking, yes

never heard of guys saying" wow, that Roseanne Barr, she sure turns me on" (due to the fame)
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 697
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 10:43:22 AM
No offense, but I think you are assuming that a woman finds fame attractive because of what it means about her. You're not taking into account that attraction is a visceral reaction.

I won't discount that there are women who live vicariously through their male selection. "I'm special because he's special and he wants me". That does exist, but I don't think that's the only thing in play here.

I don't assume a woman is panting after a rock star because of fame alone...they're panting because he's attractive DUE to the fame. Presentation matters.

Legolas in Lord of the Rings was so-so from a purely physical standpoint. To some women he may be hot, but he was blonde (shudder). Then he began walking on snow and showed off his skills as an archer. Suddenly, his hair color was insignificant, his skin glowed, and he looked downright delectable. I happily bought a Legolas bookmark the next day to drool over whenever I'm reading a book. His skills MADE him attractive to me. Without them, he would cease to be attractive.

Mick Jagger IS more attractive because he's on stage and singing. Many women are blessed and cursed with the wiring to find successful men attractive. I've always thought guys were lucky that a woman would give him a chance if he just improved himself. They can get old and still find ways to make themselves attractive. Talk about the golden egg.

I have no idea why men aren't wired the same way. I don't know why guys don't go ga-ga over pudgy women who can sing heavenly, or unattractive women who are trying to cure cancer. It's sad, but I think it's just the way humans are wired. We go for what's attractive, and what's attractive will vary from person to person.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >