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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 698
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want? Page 20 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)

was under the impression anyone can get sex anytime they want to...you just have to let go of what you want. For instance, a guy can have sex with another guy if he wants. Sure, he may be heterosexual, but he can always be the bottom so he doesn't have to be erect. That's still sex. It may not be the type of sex he wants, but if you HAVE to get laid...well, there ya go. You can close your eyes and let the guy have his way with your Mr. Mr.

A woman can walk up to homeless guy, show some leg and go into an alley. Again, this probably won't be the type of sex she wants...but hey, if you HAVE to get laid.

*shrug* Getting laid isn't the hard part.

+1
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 699
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 10:58:10 AM


Mick Jagger IS more attractive because he's on stage and singing. Many women are blessed and cursed with the wiring to find successful men attractive. I've always thought guys were lucky that a woman would give him a chance if he just improved himself. They can get old and still find ways to make themselves attractive. Talk about the golden egg.


my opinion is that both men & women also are somewhat automatically more attracted to those people who are more attractive to the majority of the opposite sex - 'social proof' - if many think s/he is attractive, s/he must be

since the majority of men value physical looks highly, and women tend to value security, & ability in providing, high income more highly in their mates , those are attraction triggers

is it only coincidence that those with these skills also tend to make lots of money ?
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 700
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 12:58:10 PM

The whole leagues thing again?

Very simple concept. How good of a catch they are, "on paper". Notably in this topic, about picking someone up & hooking up, it's essentially Looks. And every semi-intelligent person knows looks are Not Random.

Ever see a girl introduce you to the new guy she's starting to date, and in about 30 seconds of shaking hands and exchanging "hellos", you think "She can do better"? Or "Wow, she lucked out"?

Or a guy you see that could get a ton of women out in a bar, vs another guy who you feel a bit of sympathy for who would struggle to?

That's what leagues are in reference to. Simple concept. Emotionally difficult for some, because they don't want to believe in things that might hurt their feelings/ego/etc.



I am not saying people don't THINK there are leagues. You misunderstand me. I am saying people put THEIR perspective on what a league" is" and who should be in it, not understanding looks are subjective to different people. One person will think a person is out of another person's league; and the next person will think they are the same. Personally I have had SOME people get extremely complimentary comments after their friends met me and others asked them what they were smoking LOL (especially the ones that could get anyone; SOME people wanted to know what they heck they wanted to do with me and others thought I was great; and the funny thing was? The people who gave them grief about it were people who hung around with that person because they wanted THAT person to "reflect on them" well, and thought that their being with me would lower their coolness factor, not getting that the person dating me could have cared less what people thought of them, thought of me, THEY wanted to be around me because they thought I was pretty ok


Because in real life it does not translate. There ARE no cut and dried leagues. There are people with preferences.

It's NOT random though. Otherwise models on TV would be randomly selected. They're not. No, leagues are not cut & dried. They're ballpark ranges -- they vary. There's some subjectivity to it. That does not mean it's purely subjective.


again, models on tv are picked to portray what they think or want society to consider beautiful. Many people buy into it and think that is it, and anyone who is outside of that type is not to be noticed. But in real life there are MANY variations of what is handsome or pretty, BESIDES who is on the football commercials.


If how good of a catch one is was random -- then all guys who write girls on POF or other matchmaking sites would get the same % of replies to the same level of beautiful women if they all had the same writing ability and weren't creepers in what they wrote or their profile.

That's not the case. At all. Or IRL. Again, it's a ballpark range. One can get someone out of their league, sure. Other factors play into it and make it more spread out. But to say that looks/taste is even close to Random would be completely ridiculous. Just because there's subjectivity involved, exceptions thrown in there sometimes, does not mean it's totally subjective & random. At all.


Again, not saying random, AM saying it's subjective. I know someone who came to forums to find out how people think, and she took what she read as gospel truth. And I had to let her know virtually EVERYTHING I read about "accepted beliefs" I have found to be the polar opposite of what I've found firsthand. And I have been on here long enough I have come across a LOT. Overwhelmingly. So either I am the one single solitary exception to what everyone else has and am this amazing whatever, ( which I'm not (I"m ok for some, but not for everyone), or people are WRONG about what "everyone" wants. Because society and online on paper definitions don't fit with actual experiences. Looks may be important, but what looks good IS subjective. One person can think a person looks amazing and another person say what the heck are you smoking? Some like strong and independent, others clingy uber dependent and very doting. With women, some like tall, some prefer short. Some like blonde, others prefer dark. Some like brooding, others think that looks depressing and want someone who looks friendly and open. If men and women actually took to heart the incredibly mean, put down comments on what they are told they are worth in here based on society and online "rules" and buy it? That would be a real shame. Because NO one can be put in a box based on a bunch of other opinionated strangers who have NO idea what the person is like in real life; only their own cynical assumptions. I have seem many women called plain who were VERY pretty; just not conventionally by hollywood standards; I have seen men called ridiculous that I thought were funny and quirky and handsome in an unusual way. And I have seen the opposite; people that some people fawn over that have left me wanting in every way. It's SUBJECTIVE. No one can tell a woman or a man what they are "supposed" to expect to land.


It IS subjective; and people would be blown away by the actual experiences of people rather than the accepted beliefs, if they actually lived in their skin for a day. Assumptions and prejudices abound. They are opionions. No one's experiences are actually constrained by other's opinionis of what they should expect; they live what they live, not what they are told they SHOULD be living. People date who they date, not who they on paper should be able to land.

People need to quit spouting their opinions as "accepted fact".

because they aren't. People can make up their own mind based on their own ACTUAL living experiences, not accepted beliefs in a forum that is worldwide, gender neutral and with some charged mean behavior from some angry people who just want to hurt people. And people need to not let their self worth online be dictated by anyone; they just have to find who they are, get comfortable in their own skin; put their best foot forward and understand people aren't better than or worse than other people. Once people quit being intimidated, assuming failure and feeling inferior deferential and awkard and start to shine as a person confidently (and also look at other people for THEIR different kind of beauty or handsomeness or appeal)?

They will find the leagues in their own case very much disappear. Not because they are "all that" but because they understand NO one is... and there is a place for a ton of different kinds of attractiveness, not just the conventional hollywood force fed.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 701
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History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 2:04:46 PM
Confident-Realist is correct in his statement of leagues.

Dating and sex is a numbers/odds game. While there are outliers, when talking about WHOLES, everything gravitates towards the mean.

In a broad sense, leagues are applicable. If you are a man that's considered as perfectly average, then in a bar with 50 people in it, say, one women there that might be interested in having sex with you as opposed to rich/hot/whatever, when it might jump to 10 (just tossing that out there). However, flip the genders, and an average woman might be at 10 and a 'hot' woman at 25. Then, the average guy with that "1" has to be interested in her, back, and has to not screw it up in talking to her if he wants to go any further.

Thus the beggars/choosers thing and how it ties into "leagues." If you have a ton of choices wherever you go, you naturally become pickier and less interested in that thing in itself.

Now it's true that an individual can change his or her "league" or attain people that would be considered out of it in various ways (most of which are just changing their attributes to raise their own league, in actuality), but in talking about the beggars/choosers situation, that's kind of a side-point to an individual response and not really addressing the whole of the situation.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 702
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Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 2:07:12 PM

That is something that always surprises me. The failure to realize that no sex is often better than bad sex. Whenever a guy tells me how it must be nice to get sex so easily, I point out he's probably never had sex with a strange guy before. If he's willing to have a strange penis invade his orifices, more power to him. I'd rather watch Ink Master.


It shouldn't surprise you.

When you have no way of getting any sex at all, any sex is good sex, just like to the starving person, old moldy bread becomes enticing. Availability changes perception.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 703
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Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 2:19:45 PM
Talk about groupies, celebrities, etc. is funny. Not one in a thousand women is a rock band groupie. Is this what some guys base their approach to women upon....groupies, hookers and sleezy gals in bars? No wonder these guys are a big FAIL. Think about it...the President was horny 24/7 and the best he could do was Monica Lewinsky. Sure, rich and famous guys can get laid....they just rotate the same couple dozen females.

Stat from a survey....average number of sexual partners a woman has had by the time she turns sixty...four. Males have had....eleven. There are a few females quite active bringing up the male numbers. The rest of us have no desire to get laid except by our own guy.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 704
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 2:38:04 PM
I am not saying people don't THINK there are leagues. You misunderstand me.

I didn't say you were saying that people don't believe in (the fact) that leagues exist.

I am saying people put THEIR perspective on what a league" is" and who should be in it, not understanding looks are subjective to different people.

Where one's exact "position" is, varies, sure. But it's NOT purely subjective or close to purely subjective. It has a Strong Objective baseline. It's based on views by the masses.

Just because you see Exceptions, doesn't mean "Yay, there's no such thing as leagues! It's all essentially Subjective! Phew! I don't have to feel down about looks!" Not so fast. :)

models on tv are picked to portray what they think or want society to consider beautiful.

No. You're wrong. To some degree, society influences our tastes. But it's not going to make a 5'3", 200lb BBW with bad facial complexion and a gut be beautiful in the eyes of the people, or even remotely close to as good looking as a 5'3" 120lb gorgeous woman with perfect facial symmetry and a toned body with great skin complexion. Society can try all it wants. Ain't going to work. Or even remotely close.

As far as "how much" within the same ballpark range -- that can definitely be subjective. Subjectivity plays a role, of course. But there's a huge Objective baseline.

Again, not saying random, AM saying it's subjective.

If it's purely subjective -- you're basically going to see Random results.

When someone's out of your league: It means they can easily get someone who's a better catch than you. If someone's below your league: It means you can easily get someone who's a better catch than that person is.

That's all "league" means.

If you ever look at a guy and say "Wow, he is hot, he can get almost any girl...", and don't think that way about every other guy -- Congrats -- you believe in, and understand the basic concept of leagues.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 705
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Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 3:07:49 PM

Talk about groupies, celebrities, etc. is funny. Not one in a thousand women is a rock band groupie. Is this what some guys base their approach to women upon....groupies, hookers and sleezy gals in bars? No wonder these guys are a big FAIL. Think about it...the President was horny 24/7 and the best he could do was Monica Lewinsky. Sure, rich and famous guys can get laid....they just rotate the same couple dozen females.

Stat from a survey....average number of sexual partners a woman has had by the time she turns sixty...four. Males have had....eleven. There are a few females quite active bringing up the male numbers. The rest of us have no desire to get laid except by our own guy.


1) You really misunderstand the Lewinsky thing, meaning you misunderstand the mindset there, completely.

The best example is porn. Many guys start looking at porn for the most beautiful women according to their tastes, then they start going for variety. Their peak woman for a relationship might be "hot buxom brunette," but one day, they might look at plumper porn, another day, blonde skinny porn, the next, clown porn.

That's because when you have excess, variety starts to be more interesting (which is also why some men cheat on beautiful women). The only time when this is not the case is when your preference becomes so entrenched early on that it is all that will "do" (or something close).

Clinton, for example, could have thousands of women, but when he had an average looking woman in his office willing to do anything then and there, he was in "why not" mode, due to it just being there and being a change-up. ANYONE famous I have met has been like this when going out - their cut-off points are just whatever is the best they can get right then and there.

2) The only cut off I've seen for ultra-successful millionare guys is the woman's perception. The women that will actually turn them down right then and there are few and far between, comparatively. The ones that DO turn them down typically do so for their own egos - they don't think they can maintain these guys' attention for long, so they wish to not be "used" by them. If they actually thought they would get a serious relationship with them down the road, they would not.

It has nothing to do with 'sleazy' or 'slutty' or whatever silly labels you wish to attribute; it's all about priority and ego.

3) Men exaggerate and women minimize on those surveys. They're closer to center on each other. The other issue is that you're not looking at the actual curve on those stats.

The high end of the male curve is having sex with EVERYONE, probably (and accounts for numbers 2 and 3 on the women who had "four," while it starts evening out on the low end. Any guy that has had 50 or a hundred or 200 women has had a ton of women who have had sex with two or three guys, and many have had a majority in that range. The lower ranges that can't attract the same broad range of women are getting only the people with lowered standards for partners and maybe end up with a woman with similar stats.

It's a myth used to prop up one's own ego that says that the "classy" girls are only going for "classy' guys (and I use those quoted words as loosely as possible there). Hanging out with famous people ONCE dispels that myth immediately. The only real difference with "types' of women is that the ones you probably are defining as "classy' are the ones that stay quiet about it, too.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 706
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 3:16:54 PM

Many women are blessed and cursed with the wiring to find successful men attractive


I still think that a lot of it is the fame, and the fact so many women desire him. it must be huge ego boost to think" thousands of women throw themselves at him, and he picked ME (even if only for a night of sex).

why is the extreme wetness/attraction only for 'celebrity' types? movie stars, rocks tars, those in the public eye? or even people who are just 'famous for being famous' without much discernible talent?

1- I would say that top surgeons or lawyers or other skilled professio0nals are at least as skilled if not more so than someone who can play a guitar -you don't see women throwing themselves a these types of men to they same extent

2- Mick Jagger, to use the example or many other top sellers, are quite often not more talented strictly speaking as musicians than some guys who play local clubs; often they were good marketers or had good marketers behind them and/or got lucky with he timing of their entry onto the music scene. but the famous ones or top sellers would create much more attraction than the 'local guitar hero' type
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 707
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 3:55:25 PM
Stat from a survey....average number of sexual partners a woman has had by the time she turns sixty...four. Males have had....eleven.

Actually surveys vary a lot. But yes, they always come up with a guy's # notably higher than the woman's. Anywhere from 20 to 6, to 9 to 4. What gives?

It's called bullsh!t. We're not talking about how many get off watching porn. If we're talking about heterosexual men & women, for an ACTUAL average, it's Logically difficult to have a big discrepancy.

http://www.musingsonlifeandlove.com/2011/01/03/mathematical-proof-that-women-are-just-as-promiscuous-as-men/

In essence, don't trust surveys when it's about people's image. Even if they're anonymous. People lie to themselves, too. Surveys are big off the wording, etc.

Here's a survey from momlogic.com:

We polled over 3300 women and discovered...

52% of women have had sex with a married man

Only 12% of women felt guilty about cheating, and only a shocking 5% always used a condom

Argue against it? You can't! It's a survey! ;)

Gee, since women only have sex with 4 guys according to you, that means there's a decent chance one of them's going to be a married one! How odd! :)
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 708
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 4:30:32 PM

When you have no way of getting any sex at all, any sex is good sex, just like to the starving person, old moldy bread becomes enticing. Availability changes perception.



Sorry, I don't understand the correlation. No food = Death. No sex = negative emotional response. Your body will convince you to do a lot of things to avoid death. Breathe when you've held your breath for too long...even if you're underwater. So yes, I can see how a piece of nutrition (moldy bread) will look good to a person starving for nutrition.

I don't see how availability will change your perception of what's good and what's not good in this context. A person starving for sex would rather have gut-wrenching awful sex than watch a movie? A root canal is better than bad sex. 4 hours at the DMV is better than bad sex. The longest I was celibate for (not including before I had sex) was 7 years. I would have rather had 7 years of celibacy than 7 years of awful sex.

I don't believe the lowest caliber of men has no options. If a guy is unwilling to court a guy for a blow job, he can still woo a woman that has few options due to age or weight. Hit the nursing homes. If the argument is that a baseline of attraction has to be present, then men and women are in the same spot.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 709
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Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 4:50:55 PM

Sorry, I don't understand the correlation. No food = Death. No sex = negative emotional response.


It's still instinctual, in fact it's the core instinct of any organism. It triggers the same sense of "need" as food or other requirements in people. Possibly worse with men because the core instinct is "as much as possible." We can overcome it due to more developed brains and being able to redirect those focuses into something else, but not everyone is as good at doing it, and it's stronger in some people than others.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 710
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 4:57:59 PM

It's not hard for either gender to find sex. So long as you drop your standards.


Not to mention your pants.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 711
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 5:05:05 PM
"It's not hard for either gender to find sex. So long as you drop your standards". ....This was said by someone and instead of all these loooooooooong drawn out posts, this sentence says it all!!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 712
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/1/2013 6:42:00 PM

It's still instinctual, in fact it's the core instinct of any organism. It triggers the same sense of "need" as food or other requirements in people. Possibly worse with men because the core instinct is "as much as possible." We can overcome it due to more developed brains and being able to redirect those focuses into something else, but not everyone is as good at doing it, and it's stronger in some people than others.

I have to disagree with this. I think it's programming, and justification of guilty pleasure. Somewhere a lot of us learned that going without sex was a terrible thing and we then continued to perpetuate the theory as we got older. It's hardly comparable to food, other than it sounding good as an excuse to chase it down constantly for those who choose to do so.

Don't get me wrong, I love sex and if I have to go without it - I'll be pretty upset about that - but I don't need it to survive.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 713
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Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/2/2013 5:17:04 AM
I have to disagree with this. I think it's programming, and justification of guilty pleasure. Somewhere a lot of us learned that going without sex was a terrible thing and we then continued to perpetuate the theory as we got older. It's hardly comparable to food, other than it sounding good as an excuse to chase it down constantly for those who choose to do so.

Don't get me wrong, I love sex and if I have to go without it - I'll be pretty upset about that - but I don't need it to survive.


I agree, I think this is rooted in ego and the fact that for most men, it seems that their whole identity is wrapped up in their sexuality. That somehow their sexual "success" is the most important aspect of who they are, and this is constantly being reinforced by other males.

The reality is that the average male does not have all that many mating options, but they expend so much energy chasing an unatainable status and then get caught up in the negativity of the "rejection" of their sexual advances and blame women for not catering to their wants. If these men spent half the time and energy on their personality and started to see women as people, rather than an end to their sexual needs, they would be so much further ahead and successful sexually speaking.

Again I believe that this is the result of men historically refusing to acknowledge or put any value in females and their sexuality, so it has fostered this counter productive sexual disparity or conflict, and for some reason men seem to not understand that they arent on the winning side, yet they continue to behave in a way that is counterproductive to their wants and desires.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
I think that position is arguably a weak one as it is clear that for the vast majority of men, this isnt a strategy that is a succesful one, so how would following a inefectual strategy be succesful for the species on the grand scheme? While some men may find success in this, they are clearly not the majority so it makes no sense from a biological point of view. Because essentially that means that only men that are successful are getting their genes passed around, so that must mean that the balance of the males on this planet are genetic duds. Is that what you are proposing? Because you would think that the duds would have been phased out long ago from an evolutionary point of view, so why so many duds still left on the planet then?
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 714
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/2/2013 5:22:12 AM

I agree, I think this is rooted in ego and the fact that for most men, it seems that their whole identity is wrapped up in their sexuality. That somehow their sexual "success" is the most important aspect of who they are, and this is constantly being reinforced by other males.

The reality is that the average male does not have all that many mating options, but they expend so much energy chasing an unatainable status and then get caught up in the negativity of the "rejection" of their sexual advances. If these men spent half the time and energy on their personality and started to see women as people, rather than an end to their sexual needs, they would be so much further ahead.


They still have those primitive mating urges hard-wired into their brains. Their limbic system is over-riding logical thought!

Our species would have went bust a long time ago if all these crazy mating urges we have were supressed. At some point I decided to embrace mother nature rather than reject her.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 715
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Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/2/2013 7:41:20 AM

I have to disagree with this. I think it's programming, and justification of guilty pleasure. Somewhere a lot of us learned that going without sex was a terrible thing and we then continued to perpetuate the theory as we got older. It's hardly comparable to food, other than it sounding good as an excuse to chase it down constantly for those who choose to do so.

Don't get me wrong, I love sex and if I have to go without it - I'll be pretty upset about that - but I don't need it to survive.


You're a woman, you can't use your anecdotes to dispute another gender with entirely different levels of chemicals in their makeup driving their brains.

I'm one of the main "it's more nurture than nature" people for various things, but even I can't deny that the "breeding" instinct is a lot stronger in men than it is in women. You can't just completely ignore biology and mind over matter something like that, especially since it is specifically the main guiding instinct of all life (reproduction). Your internal feelings aren't the same as what men feel about sex and you can't use that for a theory or a basis.

The majority of men, especially when young, need pretty regular release or they get a "build up" that starts to have an effect on their actions in that sex becomes more and more prioritized when they aren't having it. People have invented porn and things that can curb/satiate that to a degree, but even still it doesn't work all of the time.

This is outside the societal conquest-ego senses that are built into people via nurture. This is something that's basically observed in all primates, and there is a clear difference between males and females when it comes to this.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 716
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/2/2013 9:05:31 AM

I have to disagree with this. I think it's programming, and justification of guilty pleasure. Somewhere a lot of us learned that going without sex was a terrible thing and we then continued to perpetuate the theory as we got older.

Again, it's not about Survival. It's about what "need" pertains to. It pertains to basic quality of life for normalcy. Some people won't. Like those who are asexual or a decently low libido (emotionally or otherwise). Or typically after a certain age. You can take certain people off-norm, at certain ages (real young, real old) -- and you can apply that then.

I think the programming & conditioning would come into people starting young being told it's not needed. That doesn't work for all.

It's as natural as food and water -- but sure, the results won't be the same. But all are unnatural to be restricted and all are basic wills.

How about being put out somewhere alone? Just like humans are social beings, they're also sexual beings. You don't NEED to be around any other people. We'll isolate you. Alone. No TV. No Internet to make up for it. Out there on a deserted island. Hey, Tom Hanks didn't die! Sheesh!

Again, it's not about survival for it to be a need for the ballpark range of normal quality of life. And just because one damage can be worse than another doesn't mean it's OKAY. And just because some people, like the Unabomber would love it out on a deserted island doesn't mean that means it's not need for anyone either.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 717
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/2/2013 10:44:36 AM


They still have those primitive mating urges hard-wired into their brains. Their limbic system is over-riding logical thought!


in other words the frequent complaint about men being "horn dogs" is invalid

it is thanks to this perpetual horniness that the species homo Sapiens has survived & thrived!

you're welcome! :)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 718
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/2/2013 1:31:00 PM

You're a woman, you can't use your anecdotes to dispute another gender with entirely different levels of chemicals in their makeup driving their brains.

I have a similar sex drive - what does being a woman have to do with this? Men being the only gender that perpetuates survival of humanity is silliness. No matter how much I want to gratify it - there's never been an urgency to do so. It's been a desire. There's no convincing me there's any urgency to follow this desire outside of wanting the gratification. And even if it was urgent, there are other ways besides bugging another person to squelch it.

I'm one of the main "it's more nurture than nature" people for various things, but even I can't deny that the "breeding" instinct is a lot stronger in men than it is in women. You can't just completely ignore biology and mind over matter something like that, especially since it is specifically the main guiding instinct of all life (reproduction). Your internal feelings aren't the same as what men feel about sex and you can't use that for a theory or a basis.

I can tell you that humans in this day and age aren't slaves to their sex drives. If they were no one would get much done in society.

The majority of men, especially when young, need pretty regular release or they get a "build up" that starts to have an effect on their actions in that sex becomes more and more prioritized when they aren't having it. People have invented porn and things that can curb/satiate that to a degree, but even still it doesn't work all of the time.

Sure it does.

This is outside the societal conquest-ego senses that are built into people via nurture. This is something that's basically observed in all primates, and there is a clear difference between males and females when it comes to this.

No matter what you say, you can't convince me that sexual urges override logic, common sense, and other things except to say that there are people who plain old ignore everything else because they choose to.

Again, it's not about Survival. It's about what "need" pertains to. It pertains to basic quality of life for normalcy. Some people won't. Like those who are asexual or a decently low libido (emotionally or otherwise). Or typically after a certain age. You can take certain people off-norm, at certain ages (real young, real old) -- and you can apply that then.

None of that overrides everyday life except by choice.

I think the programming & conditioning would come into people starting young being told it's not needed. That doesn't work for all.

I doubt "it's not needed" will ever be a programmed lesson...though it would be nice.

It's as natural as food and water -- but sure, the results won't be the same. But all are unnatural to be restricted and all are basic wills.

Sure it is, but to group it in with things that we'd die if we didn't have isn't accurate.

How about being put out somewhere alone? Just like humans are social beings, they're also sexual beings. You don't NEED to be around any other people. We'll isolate you. Alone. No TV. No Internet to make up for it. Out there on a deserted island. Hey, Tom Hanks didn't die! Sheesh!

I have more of a problem with people perceiving the need for social interaction to be sexual. While humans need contact with other humans throughout life (especially when too young/old to be able to care for themselves), it's not limited to just sexual contact. To compare the two is dramatic.

Again, it's not about survival for it to be a need for the ballpark range of normal quality of life. And just because one damage can be worse than another doesn't mean it's OKAY. And just because some people, like the Unabomber would love it out on a deserted island doesn't mean that means it's not need for anyone either.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it - I just don't think it's classified correctly. Desire? Sure. Preference? Great. Need? Silly.

in other words the frequent complaint about men being "horn dogs" is invalid
it is thanks to this perpetual horniness that the species homo Sapiens has survived & thrived!
you're welcome! :)

We've survived and thived ten fold...we're beyond done. We're overpopulated. Not sure why you're expecting a thank you for that.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 719
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/2/2013 1:44:43 PM
I have a similar sex drive - what does being a woman have to do with this? Men being the only gender that perpetuates survival of humanity is silliness. No matter how much I want to gratify it - there's never been an urgency to do so. It's been a desire. There's no convincing me there's any urgency to follow this desire outside of wanting the gratification. And even if it was urgent, there are other ways besides bugging another person to squelch it.


I don't think you do, is the point. I think men and women are different when it comes to "types" of sex drives, in the exact same way that male and female attachment to their children is different.

We have different chemicals doing different things there.

Comparison, the inadvertent teenage boner. Every guy here went through that teenage phase during puberty where we constantly got boners throughout the day - for no apparent reason sometimes. We all learned how to stuff it under the belt and stuff like that just so it wouldn't be noticed, but it's something that every male goes through due to testosterone and changing hormones. There is no female equivalent to this, there are no wide reports of inadvertent moisturizing 10 times a day from 12-20 or so.

From a biological sense, it makes perfect sense - evolution selects males to spread seed as much as possible, women to nurture THEIR children. Thus, differing drives. Men are wired to constantly be doing this, women to get someone to do this to them for long term nurturing. Society can effect this to a degree, but there is a HUGE difference in the two types of drive.

You might LIKE sex as much as many guys, and may have developed a craving based on that, but that's different than a CHEMICAL craving that is hard-programmed into your brain, constantly telling you you have to do this. It's the difference between an addiction to cigarettes and one to weed - one is chemical -and- mental with varying levels of both, and one is mental-only. The two aren't really comparable on the level you're making it because it's different.

This is a case where you trying to extrapolate your internal thinking on a matter simply doesn't work because you're wired differently and missing parts to the people you're comparing it to.
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 720
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/4/2013 11:43:08 PM
Who would be in deep deep sh!t if every man in the world, suddenly took hold of and controlled the drive to f- something?

....................
- its ok, ill wait.....

Women and men are different animals... women CAN get laid whenevet they want, because there is always a man breathing 1 foot to 1 mile away, ready and waiting for you to utter to words and mean it
......phoque me.
Now frankly, not many women are programmed naturally, to take anything... so when women disagree with this argument.. its because they naturally cant see it.-- women care aboit the "right"****man or lover. However thats not in question, the potential is, and potentially, yes, women can get f-ed whenever they want.

Men have to shuck and jive, talk that rap, which require important skills, such as communication... leadership skills, leading the conversation in a direction that ends somewhere... women dont do this because their conversations dont end. Charm, wit, humor and being able to weave this in conversation alone...
Understand ladies, our mouth is our most important tool to getting you, and it has to damn well be near impeccable.

Women dont have this skill because you dont have to have it. You just have to show up, with your skill, which is beauty. Anything else is bonus, and most often skills picked up from men you've been with.
The saying goes.. a woman is the reflection of the man she is f-ing... because once he has her, she learns from him. .. and im going off topic..
So even with all this skill, a man isnt guarentees a lay, because with all that rap, shes stil on the look out for that "right" guy. So both go home alone and unsexed... because both men and women today are two diffetent animals who have become disconnected to each other.
Evidence of this is the large divorce rate that has many implications.

Had anyone met angry women? I have.
They generally act like men, in the sense that they f- everybody and generally believe that if a guy can do it, why not a girl. These women get the D whenever they want.. but at the expense of their happiness and desire to find the "right" guy, often disillusioned by a circumstance where the guy they thought was "right" turned out to be wrong..... so in a sense... women dont know what they want or what "right" looks like... but they want the good parts theyve had.

And its up to a man with the right skills to get her, because guys whether or not you know it, YOU ARE THE PRIZE.......shes scratching the lottery, hoping to come up lucky.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 721
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/5/2013 8:55:31 AM
abmccray, we'll have to disagree. No matter what drives it, desire, urge, whatever - having sex with another person isn't a need. Calling it such is only a justification to pursue it. If cleaning your pipes is a need as a male, then fine I understand that - what you do with it in particular to get that accomplished is not a need.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 722
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/5/2013 9:56:13 AM

(WIP) It's hardly comparable to food ...


This has always bothered me: a person can go a few minutes without air, a few days without water, and a few weeks without food. If I then define "need" as arbitrarily as you, and insist that any lack which doesn't kill you within 24 hours is not a "need", then I could conclude that food and water are not "needs". Which sounds about as sensical as your distinction...


Don't get me wrong, I love sex and if I have to go without it - I'll be pretty upset about that - but I don't need it to survive.


You also don't need more than a coffin-sized space in which to live your entire life...

(cue silly whinging about ice-cream here...)
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