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 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 824
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want? Page 25 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
Shakespeare said booze provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. I doubt the drunk azz men are banging much of anything except their knees.
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 825
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 9:17:33 AM
ouija2013 yup lol..in thier mind its porno star sex in reality its a case of whiskey d ick followed by grinding into the womans pelvis..
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 826
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 9:18:26 AM
^^^^^
That would be called having Whiskey d*ck. Oops you beat me to it. I was too slow.

@WIP: Congratulations on your 8 year anniversary of your join date on POF. Sorry I notice those type of things.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 827
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 10:10:08 AM

Why would you ask if HE had to resort to that type of action "a lot?" You're making an irrational assumptive jump that has no real basis, and that's where his jump on you being emotional (probably) came from


And you’re accusing ME of having comprehension problems?

I didn’t ask him if HE had to resort to it……I said I was sorry he had to.

And he told me not to “get mad” in his previous post, so unless he’s psychic and knew how I would respond, he didn’t “jump on me” because of something I hadn’t posted yet.

As for being “personal,” I don’t see how asserting sexual situations could be anything but personal, unless of course they were completely imaginary and presented as observational insight, ie. bullshit.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 828
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 10:16:50 AM
It's my feeling that less attractive women tend to make better lovers, they seem to try hard to please their man. And overweight women tend to be more oral.

While the most attractive women tend to want to be pleased.

This would to also seem to be a natural result of supply / demand, as more attractive women have many more men searching them out, while less attractive women work harder to keep their man interested.

Not sure if the same applies to men, any experience with this?
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 829
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History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 10:48:26 AM
It's my feeling that less attractive women tend to make better lovers, they seem to try hard to please their man. And overweight women tend to be more oral.

While the most attractive women tend to want to be pleased.


This has been my experience for the most part. I've had plenty of overweight women tell me they are great at oral sex and just outright offer it. For the most part, they are definitely better at it. The more attractive women tend to put a little less effort into pleasing the man.


Ironically, those guys keeping those women's hopes up is a big reason why average and below guys can't get relationships or "laid whenever they want."


I agree. Average guy looking for a relationship with an average girl who is too busy being "used for sex" by guys who look better than her. The average looking guy no longer gives her the "chemistry" she requires for a relationship because she hopes to land one of the guys using her as a sex toy.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 830
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History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 11:00:06 AM

And you’re accusing ME of having comprehension problems?

I didn’t ask him if HE had to resort to it……I said I was sorry he had to.

And he told me not to “get mad” in his previous post, so unless he’s psychic and knew how I would respond, he didn’t “jump on me” because of something I hadn’t posted yet.

As for being “personal,” I don’t see how asserting sexual situations could be anything but personal, unless of course they were completely imaginary and presented as observational insight, ie. bullshit.


Yes, your theme-focus seems to be completely off. It's like you look at sentences in themselves as separate statement-statement-statement as opposed to seeing how sentences tie into each other to get the points of posts. I actually SOFTENED your assumption in making the response more friendly (where you re-emphasize now that it was a firm "sorry you have to"), so to focus on the "softening" as opposed to the theme of that section of the post:

(People are assuming you're bringing emotions to your posting because you're reading into other people's posting so often - posted example)

...is really...weird, for lack of a better term. If you're just trying to "look right" on the Internet and nitpick over single sentences, that's one thing (and also means that it's not worth responding to, either), but if you're actually attempting to share ideas and balance perspectives against each other, I have no idea why you'd take the approach you're doing which just results in sidetrack-nitpick-sidetrack by default, which will never result in any understanding or consensus.

As for pick ups, I don't really understand how you could be ignorant of this. It says you have a bachelor's degree in your profile, and college is where this behavior is the most rampant. Guys don't have to partake in beer goggles and slump busting themselves, because every guy has friends or associates that do this that they've observed doing this over the years. College, and the beginning of sexual/alcohol discovery for many, being one of the prime examples. The more opportunities the guy has, the more likely he has a few or many women that he has "made a mistake" with over the years for this reason.

--------------------------------

Essentially, this is the summation of most of the guys' input on this thread:

- Guys have a different (and apparently stronger) type of sex drive as compared to women in general
- Men have a harder time of getting sex {at any time} than women because average women would barely have to drop their standards at all, if any, to do so, whereas average guys would have to pay or go after men to accomplish the same
- The "better catches" when it comes to men are similar to women in that they can drop their standards to get sex at any time, the difference being that they often do because of the first point (different drives). Sometimes, this involves alcohol or leading people on.
- While these things are true, it barely matters in the scheme of things. It's just a general observation that doesn't really matter. There are inequalities on both sides in an average sense.

The only reason it keeps stretching on is that some women come in and challenge these things that guys accept as fact with nothing more than comparing them to their own idea of how they think men are based on what they've heard or their own psychology. Other than that, this is pretty much the consensus of pretty much all of the guys and half the women who have participated.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 831
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 11:14:35 AM

@WIP: Congratulations on your 8 year anniversary of your join date on POF. Sorry I notice those type of things.

I'm glad someone does. I'm pretty clueless to my join date here - only know the overall amount of years. So...8 years today, how bout that? Meh, so long as the forums still exist and they're fun to follow I'll stay here another 8 years, I'm sure.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 832
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 4:27:57 PM

(AT) A high correlation (i.e., of drunk guys scoring with girls they might not otherwise consider). Don't get mad just because it works in a lot of instances...


(fleuron) She can have you, sloppy drunk or stone sober.


Thanks for the permission!


I don’t know why you’d think I’d care, or “get mad.”


Uhm, because now you're harping about how "pathetic" the guy is? Wax your legs, not indignant.


Sorry to hear you have to resort to that “a lot.”


Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 833
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 4:31:14 PM
(WIP) Yes...that's pretty much it. No one is in sexual Siberia if they are willing to do what it takes to get it done. Period.


All women have to do is holler, "COME GET IT, BOYS!". All men have to do is throw lots of money around, risk personal safety and/or arrest, or risk alcohol poisoning. Yeah, totally the same thing...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 834
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 4:37:48 PM
(fleuron) I didn’t ask him if HE had to resort to it……I said I was sorry he had to.


I have standards, you know! You have to show up with flowers, sweep me off my feet, take me to a 5-star restaurant, before I'll give up the goods!

I'm neither easy nor cheap (Twitter feeds to the contrary), but I *CAN* be had...


And he told me not to “get mad” in his previous post ...


Because you were. Chill, dude...
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 835
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 4:41:12 PM
This depends on what type of male or female we're talking about.

Fat unattractive women get laid less than fat unattractive men.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 836
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/16/2013 6:28:14 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You wanna cite your source, or just bragging?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 837
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/19/2013 7:36:40 AM

Fat unattractive women get laid less than fat unattractive men.

That ain't what I heard.
I also know that a positive attitude and freedom from entitlement-caused bitterness makes a big difference in the quality of one's life, regardless of age, gender, or appearance.
Cindy O
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 838
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/19/2013 8:18:49 AM

(ladyc4) I also know that a positive attitude and freedom from entitlement-caused bitterness makes a big difference in the quality of one's life, regardless of age, gender, or appearance.


Irony, Thy name is the standard Feminist line...
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 839
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/19/2013 12:47:03 PM

I also know that a positive attitude and freedom from entitlement-caused bitterness makes a big difference in the quality of one's life, regardless of age, gender, or appearance.
Cindy O


True this, regardless of what subject you're talking about.

Bitterness and perceived entitlement causes a HUGE amount of miscommunication, missed connections AND potentially kills ANY kind of good interaction; whether physical or mental. Why would a person give an angry bitter puts them on the defensive person for any kind of interaction, let alone sexual?

Plus a person is miserable, while stewing about things that they are not only wrong on.

People who are happy are happy because they choose to be, not because they have no difficult issues in life. IF people try and find the commonality, find the things that they can BOTH celebrate and quit picking wars over imperfect stereotypes and angry wrong assumptions and actually see them as individuals that have their OWN experiences (and not assume what those might be)

people might find a lot more in common after all; and those who typically don't have luck "getting laid" will actually start to interact in a way that they might find someone they can connect with rather than "scr*ing" them.

But it all starts with the brain. Confident people can maybe "get" people... but confident people don't "need" to get people to feel confident; because they are comfortable enough in their own skin that they don't need other people's acceptance or attraction to them to validate who they are. Some are confident because they are arrogant, but I'm talking about people who don't honestly care; who are utterly comfortable in their own skin who are about OTHER people. The people who "need" to get people to validate who they are to feel attractive? That need is what repels.

And that is true for men AND women with the opposite gender (or the same, if they float that way)

So Cindy is absolutely right.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 840
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History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/19/2013 10:16:04 PM

But it all starts with the brain. Confident people can maybe "get" people... but confident people don't "need" to get people to feel confident; because they are comfortable enough in their own skin that they don't need other people's acceptance or attraction to them to validate who they are. Some are confident because they are arrogant, but I'm talking about people who don't honestly care; who are utterly comfortable in their own skin who are about OTHER people. The people who "need" to get people to validate who they are to feel attractive? That need is what repels.


This is a nature vs nurture argument here. Sure, perhaps some people are so confident that no matter what happens to them, their confidence is still there. Others are so confident because things always work out in their favor. Dating usually works much the same way. Take a confident person, have them face years upon years of rejection, and see if they are still so confident.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 841
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/20/2013 3:52:09 PM
^^^^^^^^^^ A truly confident person wouldn’t waste years of his or her life continually attempting something without 1) changing up what they do or 2) moving on to something else. He or she certainly wouldn’t become bitter and blame others for their bitterness.

People who perceive their happiness/contentment/fulfillment is dependent upon another person is NOT a truly confident person.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 842
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History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/20/2013 5:28:11 PM

^^^^^^^^^^ A truly confident person wouldn’t waste years of his or her life continually attempting something without 1) changing up what they do or 2) moving on to something else. He or she certainly wouldn’t become bitter and blame others for their bitterness.


I think that for the most part, confidence is a state of mind, not type of person. What I believe is that if you take your confident person, and send a few years of constant rejection their way, that confidence is going to be lost. Are you suggesting that a confident person would just give up, or "move on to something else" if they always fail? I've known people who have been rejected their entire lives. I definitely wouldn't call them confident.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 843
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/20/2013 5:34:53 PM

Yeah, it's nice being happy, but that can be tough when dealing with tough times and let down. It's good to be optimistic, but it's hard for someone to choose to be happy just because they want to. When something is pissing me off, I don't like being pissed off and like being happy, but I don't want to be happy during such times, because ..well I'm pissed off and my mind is very clouded with all the frustations of the day, life etc and stewing over it. I'm not talking about dating, I'm talking bout life in general. I don't know how people can shrug off things, and I am thankful for what I have as I've been through adversities and seen people I know go through tragedies. So can separate things and be happy about what I have and not like I'm not thankful, but still be very frustraed about what's not working or what I had high hopes for and to be letdown and it can wear on me. Makes me not want to be as optimistic and guard it so there won't be as much of a letdown next time. But it sucks to be cautious of optimism. I don't think for some it's feeling attractive or getting people to feel validated that is the issue. It is sometimes, but not for others. I wonder if these confident guys, though they don't need girls to feel confident, and while I'm sure they won't lose their own confidence if they aren't meeting girls. But I wonder if these supposed confident guys will be unfazed, if they can't get dates and having a long or really long dry spell. I'm pretty sure that would be very very frustrating and effect the guys emotionas and agitated and not be as rosy as people would think.


hey, I totally hear you, and there is a HUGE difference between being happy as an overall state and being in denial for frustrating events or circumstances.

The difference between the person who chooses happy and the person who doesn't?

The happy person can still feel pain, they can still vent and they can still know unhappy experiences... but they don't live there all the time.

They let themselves feel, they shake it off, they do something productive or something passion producing to get their mind to a better place and they choose to not stay in that negative place mentally.

They literally change their mind. That does not mean they didn't feel the bad emotions. they just chose to not DWELL on them.

I know what it is to deal with incredibly tough things. But you either become a victim and live your life reactively, being angry at those who you feel are "keeping you down", or you choose to focus on what you CAN control, get yourself as good, healthy and positive as possible, find things you LOVE, find people who share that positive energy (and avoid people who suck the living daylights out of you emotionally) and you CAN actually change your frame of mind.

It is not the same as being falsely happy nor is it ignoring things that you don't like; but instead of being angry at what you don't like forever; CHANGE what you can, focus on what you can control; and your mindset will change. And i PROMISE when the mindset changes, they will have more luck. It is the woe is me life sux that scares people...

people who project that, stay in it. The dry spell guy has to choose to change their focus. If they do that, they get control of their back rather than putting it in the hands of women and making women the keepers of their happiness; and the dry spell ends. But not while they focus on the negative, or focus on what they THINK other guys or other women have that they don't.

They'd be wrong on a lot of people; and the people they maybe would be right on? Not all of them are as happy as they think... and some are at serious risk.

Don't envy that.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 844
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/20/2013 5:46:36 PM
Miami mam81:

"It's good to be optimistic, but it's hard for someone to choose to be happy just because they want to. When something is pissing me off, I don't like being pissed off and like being happy, but I don't want to be happy during such times, because ..well I'm pissed off and my mind is very clouded with all the frustations of the day, life etc and stewing over it."

You are right.....sometimes you can't just choose to be optimistic or happy.....sometimes there is actually a chemical imbalance in the brain.....

But your statements regarding how you deal with frustration leads me to believe you could benefit from learning new coping skills....


And imo, real confidence comes from recognizing your strengths and weaknesses and liking yourself because of and inspite of them without allowing others rejection to define your self worth. Easier said than done but it is worth working on.....
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 845
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/20/2013 6:17:40 PM
A truly confident person wouldn’t waste years of his or her life continually attempting something without 1) changing up what they do or 2) moving on to something else. He or she certainly wouldn’t become bitter and blame others for their bitterness.

I disagree. A confident person isn't (necessarily) going to be the Hallmark card of everything-good. It's just an attribute. Confidence. That's it. They can be bitter & confident. They can be over-confident and keep doing the same dumb thing. They can be a confident person & dumb as dirt. They can be a confident person, but when ticked about something, it doesn't shake their overall confidence as a person.

A guy (or girl) can be very confident in their abilities in getting a good 'catch' of the opposite sex, but still be ticked about the silly dating games, sub-cultural hoops, etc. They just don't let the issues they have, whether they be understandable or over-the-top, affect their confidence, that's all.

But I'll say this: Many people, at some points in their lives should NOT have confidence about particular things. Having fool's confidence can be socially or otherwise dangerous, and definitely not in one's best interest. One should lose confidence in their game when it sucks. Delusion can be a temporary relief, but not something to live by.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 846
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/20/2013 9:19:04 PM

I think that for the most part, confidence is a state of mind, not type of person. What I believe is that if you take your confident person, and send a few years of constant rejection their way, that confidence is going to be lost. Are you suggesting that a confident person would just give up, or "move on to something else" if they always fail? I've known people who have been rejected their entire lives. I definitely wouldn't call them confident.

If rejection or acceptance romantically is connected to worthiness or happiness for you (instead of appreciating the things you may be fortunate to have in your life like work, good health, friends and family) then yes rejection for a while or forever will change that happiness. Who wants to date you and who doesn't should have nothing to do with your confidence as a person or your overall happiness...for the most part that's not something you have any exclusive control over...so why would your happiness really depend on it?
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 847
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/20/2013 9:49:41 PM

Who wants to date you and who doesn't should have nothing to do with your confidence as a person or your overall happiness.

The operative word there is "should". When nobody wants to date you, it can crush you.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 848
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 3:57:58 AM

The operative word there is "should". When nobody wants to date you, it can crush you.

Can you tell me why, exactly? If someone doesn't know you that well (at least in a dating sense), and you are the type to compare only to your former self for improvement, then:

1. Why do they have that much influence in how you feel about yourself?
2. Why does being dated by someone else signify you are a good or acceptable person?
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