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 nyceguy85
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 849
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want? Page 26 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
It sucks how women can control sex when there is a shortage of single good men out there.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 850
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 7:19:19 AM
Well, we kind of have to WANT to have sex with you for it to happen. We can't help it if a guy is unattractive. If a guy is attractive then he won't have an issue. There is going to be a woman somewhere that wants him. Note, you don't have to be born with good looks to be attractive. There are other ways to up your attractiveness level.

The problem is that guys will look at themselves, give the thumbs up, then go into the world and blame women if they don't find him as attractive as he finds himself. That's madness. I would have loved it if great guys with a lot going on had a thing for my jelly rolls. I LOVED being overweight. I enjoyed eating. I enjoyed not sweating. The only thing I didn't enjoy was the lack of boyfriends and clothes. I still wonder if I lost weight to find a better type of guy or to get into Modcloth. *lol* Size 12 my azz. I had guys approaching of course but that's irrelevant if you don't want them back. The guys I wanted didn't want me back. *shrug*

It's not so much control as power. Both people start with the same power: The power to say no. Once one of those two says yes, the power completely shifts to the other person. Women only have power over you if you give it to them. The key is to make yourself attractive enough to live in a world of YES. It just seems some guys want to be who they are and have a woman they find attractive present and available. If you find that, you're lucky. We all work in a world of luck to some degree. It's up to each of us to choose how much we're willing to work to get the odds in our favor.
 nyceguy85
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 851
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 7:45:17 AM

Well, we kind of have to WANT to have sex with you for it to happen. We can't help it if a guy is unattractive. If a guy is attractive then he won't have an issue. There is going to be a woman somewhere that wants him. Note, you don't have to be born with good looks to be attractive. There are other ways to up your attractiveness level.

The problem is that guys will look at themselves, give the thumbs up, then go into the world and blame women if they don't find him as attractive as he finds himself. That's madness. I would have loved it if great guys with a lot going on had a thing for my jelly rolls. I LOVED being overweight. I enjoyed eating. I enjoyed not sweating. The only thing I didn't enjoy was the lack of boyfriends and clothes. I still wonder if I lost weight to find a better type of guy or to get into Modcloth. *lol* Size 12 my azz. I had guys approaching of course but that's irrelevant if you don't want them back. The guys I wanted didn't want me back. *shrug*

It's not so much control as power. Both people start with the same power: The power to say no. Once one of those two says yes, the power completely shifts to the other person. Women only have power over you if you give it to them. The key is to make yourself attractive enough to live in a world of YES. It just seems some guys want to be who they are and have a woman they find attractive present and available. If you find that, you're lucky. We all work in a world of luck to some degree. It's up to each of us to choose how much we're willing to work to get the odds in our favor.


Thats the thing about alot of women. Because they have so many guys who want to have sex with them, they tend not to WANT to have sex with them, instead they intend on seeing what they can get out of the deal before forfeiting their leverage. Attraction is a plus, but women have so many options when it comes to possible sexual partners, if an attractive guy does or says something she may find "unappealing", he has lost his sexual privileges with her. And this unappealing thing I speak of could be something as minor as eating a meal that requires the use of eating utensils without using hand sanitizer. Its crazy what reasons some women can give when it comes to how a man can "turn them off" from sex.

"The problem is that guys will look at themselves, give the thumbs up, then go into the world and blame women if they don't find him as attractive as he finds himself."

A good number of women do that. They will put on a tun of makeup, wear hair that was grown by another person or animal, dress in the uniform of a hooker or working girl and expect every guy that looks their way to find them so attractive they run over each other to try to talk to her. But if a guy doesnt find her attractive, he automatically is labeled as gay, no good or blind. But at the end of the day, I do not think anyone should have to change who they are to appeal to a certain person.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 852
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 9:36:20 AM

But at the end of the day, I do not think anyone should have to change who they are to appeal to a certain person.


Sure, but they've just forfeited the right to complain about their options. If you complain without actively doing what needs to be done to change your circumstances, then you're no longer complaining. You're whining.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 853
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 10:31:13 AM

Who wants to date you and who doesn't should have nothing to do with your confidence as a person or your overall happiness...

It should in certain circumstances, it should not in others. If every time I were to approach a 6 I get shot down, I should NOT have confidence in approaching a 6 with that approach. Any guy or gal should have more confidence when it comes to engaging with a 5/10 in terms of getting a phone # or date VS a 10/10 -- whether they're good enough to get 10's or not.

But as a person? Well, that's broad, so yeah -- they can have little or no confidence about landing great catches for dates, but be a confident person overall -- I agree. And they should if they're a relatively successful person, but when it comes to that they're not good at all (looks & game in relation to their tastes). However, if that reflects just about any other ability or value they have -- and failing -- it's not surprising that they wouldn't be a confident person.

And in fact, if they flounder at just about any challenging or mildly challenging situation in life -- they Shouldn't be a confident person. They should instead take a timeout, step back, and re-evaluate their perspective on things in life.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 854
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 11:13:20 AM
Who wants to date you and who doesn't should have nothing to do with your confidence as a person or your overall happiness...for the most part that's not something you have any exclusive control over...so why would your happiness really depend on it?


I don't think confidence and happiness are the same, so this is kinda irrelevant. I think people can be confident about certain aspects in their life, like dating, and still not be happy. Different people have different desires, different things they require for happiness. If you're the type of person that needs to feel wanted by the opposite sex, and are always rejected, I doubt you'll be happy. I also think that people have much more control over whether or not they get a date than they would like to believe. It's much easier to just blame the opposite sex.


It sucks how women can control sex when there is a shortage of single good men out there.


If you find that the women in your life are in control of sex, then you are screwing up. I don't know about you, but I am in control of my sex life.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 855
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 11:26:41 AM

If you find that the women in your life are in control of sex, then you are screwing up.

+1
And everybody on this thread should visit the "Numbers" thread. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
 nyceguy85
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 856
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 11:38:18 AM

If you find that the women in your life are in control of sex, then you are screwing up. I don't know about you, but I am in control of my sex life.


It depends on how you define control. If you can have sex whenever you want because a minimum of 10 women approach you daily with the sole purpose of sleeping with you, that is one thing. But if you can have sex whenever you want because you have the funds to keep the prostitution industry up and running then that is another form of control.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 857
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 12:44:00 PM

Thats the thing about alot of women. Because they have so many guys who want to have sex with them, they tend not to WANT to have sex with them, instead they intend on seeing what they can get out of the deal before forfeiting their leverage. Attraction is a plus, but women have so many options when it comes to possible sexual partners, if an attractive guy does or says something she may find "unappealing", he has lost his sexual privileges with her. And this unappealing thing I speak of could be something as minor as eating a meal that requires the use of eating utensils without using hand sanitizer. Its crazy what reasons some women can give when it comes to how a man can "turn them off" from sex.


Yup you keep telling yourself that in order to keep the lie going.

The fact is that I dont care if the guy who lives across the street, or down the block, the guy that changes my oil, or the guy that makes my burger for me would "do me", that has absolutely nothing to do with who I would have sex with. I will have sex with a man that I find attractive AND isnt an idiot, doesnt smell, doesnt eat with his mouth open, can carry on a conversation etc. Notice that none of those things have anything to do with random guys with hard ons that would "do me", it isnt about options, it is about attraction and appeal. The big difference is that it takes time to learn all these things about him so that is why we arent dropping our drawers for every****dragging a body around..

Are you gonna do any chick that drops her skirt? I dont think so, and before you cry me a river about how my having options makes it "different" for women, think critically for about 2 minutes and then accept that availability is not a factor for most women and for most men in reality,when it comes to a sexual partner because availabilty is a red herring.

Just because you would eat a sandwich you found in the gutter because you dont find too many free sandwiches in the gutter, doesnt mean that everyone has to eat a sandwich they found in the gutter in order to make you feel better about your sandwich options, or lack of standards when it comes to eating sandwiches in the gutter...See how that works yet...
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 858
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 1:58:52 PM
^^^And here we go again.

Grizzelda do you accept that:

a) There are gulfs of leagues in difference between the level of standards that an average woman and an average man would have to drop in order to have sex with someone at the drop of a hat. ie: A man would have to pay, which comes with high risk, or get a woman he would otherwise find completely disgusting, whereas a woman would have to just call one of her male friends that she's not really that into for various reasons (or a neighbor, or a coworker).

b) That kind of degree of difference can create a subconscious effect that manifests itself in different levels of desperation. Because said man knows he has no options of reasonable standards, it could exert itself to the level that some do go for these last ditch options. Whereas, on the flip side, since a woman knows that there is always an option there, there is never a need for that level of desperation (although there may be times they're tempted to have a booty call or something with someone they necessarily wouldn't want to date).

The point of the post you were replying to, and this thread, was that there -is- a difference. Someone that is starving might eat a sandwich in the gutter; someone that is not won't do so. Your own analogy backs up the point of this thread.

(Please don't let that turn into another "starving" derail, people - this is an -analogy- it doesn't mean "it is literally the same thing as")
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 859
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 2:46:24 PM
lookinfouryoutoo:
I think that for the most part, confidence is a state of mind, not type of person. What I believe is that if you take your confident person, and send a few years of constant rejection their way, that confidence is going to be lost. Are you suggesting that a confident person would just give up, or "move on to something else" if they always fail? I've known people who have been rejected their entire lives. I definitely wouldn't call them confident.


Yeah………then they never were truly “confident.” Why would you think that they started out confident?

I didn’t suggest that a confident person would “give up”…..I said “CHANGE up” what they’re doing, if it’s not working….why keep beating your head against the wall of constant “rejection?” I don’t believe there was any “confidence” there to begin with.

Confident people don’t allow others to define them….and they don’t consider themselves “rejected” by anyone else. That’s silly. Of course confidence is a state of mind…so is everything else! I didn’t say otherwise.

If anybody….confident or not……has been rejected his or her whole life, what alternatives are there besides changing or moving on?? Lingering in a self-imposed purgatory feeling sorry for oneself while blaming God, women and the universe for their failure and rejection?? That self-victimization ain’t healthy, it’s definitely NOT appealing in any way to others, and accomplishes NOTHING.

CR:
I disagree. A confident person isn't (necessarily) going to be the Hallmark card of everything-good. It's just an attribute. Confidence. That's it. They can be bitter & confident. They can be over-confident and keep doing the same dumb thing. They can be a confident person & dumb as dirt.


So you disagree that a confident person would change up what they perceive as doing wrong, or move on? I do not agree that a person can be simultaneously confident and bitter. Being “over-confident” isn’t true confidence anyway so of course that type will do dumb things.

However; I do agree with this:
They can be a confident person, but when ticked about something, it doesn't shake their overall confidence as a person.



A guy (or girl) can be very confident in their abilities in getting a good 'catch' of the opposite sex, but still be ticked about the silly dating games, sub-cultural hoops, etc. They just don't let the issues they have, whether they be understandable or over-the-top, affect their confidence, that's all.

Well……I think a truly confident person wouldn’t indulge in “silly dating games, sub-cultural hoops, etc.” and would do things his or her OWN way; confidently. :)

JoeBnD:
The operative word there is "should". When nobody wants to date you, it can crush you.


I really hope that’s an exaggeration. Please don’t put that much dependence on other people. It’s not healthy.

Ask yourself WomanInProgress’s questions:

1. Why do they have that much influence in how you feel about yourself?
2. Why does being dated by someone else signify you are a good or acceptable person?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 860
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 3:31:18 PM


The operative word there is "should". When nobody wants to date you, it can crush you.


(WIP) Can you tell me why, exactly?


Because people have feelings. Being told "no" hurts your feelings. Those pesky emotions...

(am I the only one who thinks the word "cahoots" sounds like an owl sneezing? Ca-ca-CAHOOTS!!!)
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 861
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 4:36:31 PM
Can you tell me why, exactly?


I was raised to believe that we are judged in our lives by the company we keep, and despite being pretty non-religious these days, that has stuck with me. I also bought into the childhood teachings of being nice to people would have its rewards; those rewards being good friends and the love of that one special person. Now this latter part has turned out to be total crap because being nice to others more often gets you used these days than anything else. But I still have that same desire that I grew up with of being with that one special someone; it is part of my core being and with that missing I feel that (as Aerosmith put it) there is a hole in my soul.

In my opinion, so many people out there have bought into their childhood lessons of "you are very special and deserve everything" that we now have a world of egomaniacs who think they are better than everyone else. There is no humility left in today's society (except for the homeless). And if others don't live up to these self-absorbed individual's expectations, then these others are just disposable. That is how I see the world and it disgusts me. But, that is not to say that I am perfect either.


It’s not healthy.


Neither is isolation.



Now, what is owl for gesundheit?


----------------------



While completely ignoring the fact that it's no different than you wanting these women to put aside their own wants and happiness to even it up a little? Pot, kettle....


Um, where did I say anything about any woman putting aside their wants and needs? Maybe what I did say was more along the lines of people having ridiculous expectations.

I am not looking for a bevy of women to provide sex for me on a daily basis. I would like, however, just one that I find attractive and with whom I can share interests with, and who would also find me attractive - just one. But that is apparently too much to ask.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 862
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 4:38:16 PM

Because people have feelings. Being told "no" hurts your feelings. Those pesky emotions...

(am I the only one who thinks the word "cahoots" sounds like an owl sneezing? Ca-ca-CAHOOTS!!!)


So men who complain because puzzy isn't following them down the road and jumping indiscriminately onto their penis are just babies who haven't outgrown a childhood phase? Knew it.

This is all just bitterness because they feel that since the ratio of men to women is just about equal then everyone should just pair off and everyone gets someone of the opposite sex of their very own. They are outright hostile because they perceive that it's "harder" for them and that something needs to be done to make it "fair" . Get over it.

Sex just isn't as important to women. It's not a grand conspiracy where women get together and gloat over how many hoops we made them jump through for a quickie last week. So you can either be/become the type of man that women like and want to have sex with; or sit there in your own personal sexless hell of your own making, insisting that the onus is on women to abandon their standards and happiness in order to cater to yours. I'd tell you to let us know how you make out with that, but you all have been doing it over and over and over... like projectile vomiting.

We want to like the person we're sleeping with and we want to be attracted to them just like you. There's a guy posting on the forums that looks like an older, uglier version of the guy from Despicable Me. He's spewing his negativity constantly.... women are evil, blah blah blah because nobody will f*ck him. However, he wants a thin younger chick who has no expectations from him other than he brings the penis; just like about 99 percent of the men his age. He also insists that this thin younger woman is shallow and a golddigger because she actually wants someone who'll stick around and talk to her and maybe even spring for a coffee. You see, she's not going to get away with using him like that! Nobody gets to put conditions on HIS using HER for her vagina! THAT'S different! Sex is a NEED don't you know... men are exploding all over the place people! We need to get on this like Unicef on starving kids in Ethiopia!

Well, if you're fat, ugly and have a bad attitude you're not going to get f*cked by any woman, let alone from the creme de la creme. Insisting that women shouldn't be allowed to have options to improve your chances isn't going to happen.


And if others don't live up to these self-absorbed individual's expectations, then these others are just disposable.


Oh you mean like all these nasty vagina-having shallow women that don't realize that your penis needs tending to (stat! IT'S A NEEEEEEEEED!) and don't drop everything (like their standards) to do that tending?

While completely ignoring the fact that it's no different than you wanting these women to put aside their own wants and happiness to even it up a little? Pot, kettle....
 Iseedudpeople
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 863
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 4:46:54 PM

(am I the only one who thinks the word "cahoots" sounds like an owl sneezing? Ca-ca-CAHOOTS!!!)


....am I the only one who thinks not only should you not drink and drive but also :

DON'T TOKE AND POST !

LOL

Re the topic ... aka the topic that won't go away and die already .... who the frick cares ?

Are you people really this starved to argue ?????

Get out in the real world and do something that will make a difference !
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 864
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/21/2013 8:35:11 PM

Because people have feelings. Being told "no" hurts your feelings. Those pesky emotions...

But these are people we don't know so how are they affecting anyone that much? Yep I'm gonna go with NDT on this one...you're saying it's similar to being told you can't have candy before dinner when you're 7 years old? Mmmm-hmm. And yes, emotions are pretty pesky for some, apparently.

I was raised to believe that we are judged in our lives by the company we keep, and despite being pretty non-religious these days, that has stuck with me. I also bought into the childhood teachings of being nice to people would have its rewards; those rewards being good friends and the love of that one special person. Now this latter part has turned out to be total crap because being nice to others more often gets you used these days than anything else. But I still have that same desire that I grew up with of being with that one special someone; it is part of my core being and with that missing I feel that (as Aerosmith put it) there is a hole in my soul.

How is it part of your core being (outside of you learning that it should be from elders as a kid)?

In my opinion, so many people out there have bought into their childhood lessons of "you are very special and deserve everything" that we now have a world of egomaniacs who think they are better than everyone else. There is no humility left in today's society (except for the homeless). And if others don't live up to these self-absorbed individual's expectations, then these others are just disposable. That is how I see the world and it disgusts me. But, that is not to say that I am perfect either.

It's neither here nor there in this topic, but I believe there are humble and modest people out there, they may be hard to find but they are out there - and not all of them are homeless.

Neither is isolation.

Being single is hardly comparable to isolation. For most single people, isolation only happens until you step outside your front door...unless you talk on the phone or have company in the house. I believe it's people seeing single as a form of isolation that compels them to seek out a partner with the idea that without one they are somehow incomplete or not normal.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 865
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/22/2013 12:49:50 AM

So you disagree that a confident person would change up what they perceive as doing wrong, or move on? I do not agree that a person can be simultaneously confident and bitter. Being “over-confident” isn’t true confidence anyway so of course that type will do dumb things.

I don't want to get into a big side-topic hijacking this thread which is about getting laid whenever, so I'll just cut it short: We disagree. You believe a "confident person" in relation to the singles/dating scene is More than someone who has confidence in their game/successes/etc. I highly disagree. I go by what the term means, not what is commonly found among people labeled "confident" and what people tend to expect from such folk.

A QB can be very confident about his game but be bitter about things in relation to it. A QB can be confident in his abilities but still be b!tching about the refs or bitter toward his receiver for dropping the ball too many times. Essentially, we assume because someone's complaining, they must have low-confidence about themselves in relation to the topic at hand. That's incorrect. You'll find that many people with low-confidence will be complaining and crying foul -- sure -- but one would be jumping to conclusions to say that just because one's complaining or ticked off about something, they must have a low self esteem or low confidence in the matter.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 866
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/22/2013 5:42:59 AM

The point of the post you were replying to, and this thread, was that there -is- a difference. Someone that is starving might eat a sandwich in the gutter; someone that is not won't do so. Your own analogy backs up the point of this thread.


See what you missed is that no where in my post did I mention that anyone was starving, it was all about deciding what you are willing to do in order to feed a percieved "need" and justifying a bad or faulty decision and then demanding that everyone else make the same choices you do so your decision seems less questionable.

Not one single person would apply this sort of logic to someone justifying their decision to steal a big screen TV because all they have at home is a 27" standard tube set, or to support a decision to physically assault a person to obtain their Rolex because all they can afford is a Timex, or to keep with the sandwich theme, verbally harrass someone for their roast beef hoagie because all you had was tuna on rye and you really wanted roast beef, yet when it comes to sex, men it seems, have absolutely no issue with comparing their desire to get laid to some sort of survival issue and how emotionally damaging and scarring it apparently is because the women they want to **** arent dropping their drawers. Because this is really what is being said here when you sweep away all the poor me and boo hooing going on here.

This continued attitude that men need sex and that women are trying to control men by not "giving" them sex when they need it is flat out bullshit, stop demanding that women have no boundaries and standards just so you get what you want. For Jeebus sakes, its like dealing with 5 year olds who want the blue marble rather than the red one they have sitting in their pocket...
 nyceguy85
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 867
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/22/2013 6:29:04 AM

This continued attitude that men need sex and that women are trying to control men by not "giving" them sex when they need it is flat out bullshit, stop demanding that women have no boundaries and standards just so you get what you want. For Jeebus sakes, its like dealing with 5 year olds who want the blue marble rather than the red one they have sitting in their pocket...


Everyone, both men and women like some form of sexual stimulation. That is not up for debate. For many men, having sex with a woman its not about meeting a woman who has no standards and will sleep with him whenever he wants. Its about meeting a woman who doesnt value her worth as being greater than his worth. A good number of women who arent in high school, college or work in the prostitution/porn industry carry the notion that they should make a man jump through hoops and hurdles, marching to her beat in order for her to give him a taste of her sweet nectar. Men typically dont make women do this and that in order to give sexual pleasure because to men its not a game of power and control. Sex is an act that is supposed to please all parties involved, but alot of women use it as bargaining chips.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 868
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/22/2013 7:08:30 AM

Sex is an act that is supposed to please all parties involved, but alot of women use it as bargaining chips.


Seriously? I dont know whether to laugh or to cry...

HA HA, your kidding me right, men dont use sex as a game of power and control, how about calling a woman a slut for doing the exact same thing a man does, how about stoning a woman for being raped, how about dating a certain kind of girl but only marrying a virgin? How about lying to woman about their intentions just so they can have sex with her? How about the attitude that if a woman doesnt have sex with a man within a certain amount of time she has sexual issues or is a prude? Why dont we slut shame men like we do women? Why are there no real insults about men and their sexuality, mainly just women? Do you think that is coincidental? Men have used sex to control women for centuries, I suggest you do a little research before you make that statement. Hell every day there is some guy on these boards making judgements about women based on their sexual behaviour, when that have done the very same thing, but claiming it is different for guys, kinda like this thread...

Here is the thing, for the average woman the sex with some guy she doesnt care about isnt all that great, so why would you think that a woman would try and bargain with a tool that just doesnt have any value to her? Why would she even go there? Having some clown you barely know or even like, hump you in exchange for a free dinner or movie is not a pleasant thing for most women, unless they earn their money that way. Because the reality is that for the average woman, good sex is a process, it takes time to happen and unless I want to invest that time, I cant even kiss a guy I dont feel attraction to, like hell I am going to even contemplate anything even more intimate and personal.

Unless you are dealing with a street urchin in a third world country,****just doesnt have that much currency with most women, and despite the argument that is made here, it isnt about quantity, it is about quality. And despite the hatred and animosity that men seem to have towards women when it comes to this topic, woman just arent that stupid generally. There may be a few that just arent that bright, but they are the exception.
 nyceguy85
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 869
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/22/2013 8:17:24 AM

HA HA, your kidding me right, men dont use sex as a game of power and control, how about calling a woman a slut for doing the exact same thing a man does, how about stoning a woman for being raped, how about dating a certain kind of girl but only marrying a virgin? How about lying to woman about their intentions just so they can have sex with her? How about the attitude that if a woman doesnt have sex with a man within a certain amount of time she has sexual issues or is a prude? Why dont we slut shame men like we do women? Why are there no real insults about men and their sexuality, mainly just women? Do you think that is coincidental? Men have used sex to control women for centuries, I suggest you do a little research before you make that statement. Hell every day there is some guy on these boards making judgements about women based on their sexual behaviour, when that have done the very same thing, but claiming it is different for guys, kinda like this thread...

Here is the thing, for the average woman the sex with some guy she doesnt care about isnt all that great, so why would you think that a woman would try and bargain with a tool that just doesnt have any value to her? Why would she even go there? Having some clown you barely know or even like, hump you in exchange for a free dinner or movie is not a pleasant thing for most women, unless they earn their money that way. Because the reality is that for the average woman, good sex is a process, it takes time to happen and unless I want to invest that time, I cant even kiss a guy I dont feel attraction to, like hell I am going to even contemplate anything even more intimate and personal.

Unless you are dealing with a street urchin in a third world country,****just doesnt have that much currency with most women, and despite the argument that is made here, it isnt about quantity, it is about quality. And despite the hatred and animosity that men seem to have towards women when it comes to this topic, woman just arent that stupid generally. There may be a few that just arent that bright, but they are the exception.


1. Double standards suck. Yes its wrong for men to call sexually promiscuous women sluts when a man can sleep with many women and not earn a derogatory label. But what about the double standards that go against men? Is it fair that a woman who physically assaults a man be given a pass but a man who hits a woman be labeled a monster? Is it fair that a man who gets a woman drunk to have sex be labeled a rapist but a woman that does the same thing to a man be given a pass? My point is double standards between the genders exist, but if you are going to point out one side, you have to be willing to acknowledge the other side.

2. Luckily I have done my research and at no point have men widely used the promise of having sex to control women. There are instances where men have made women into sex slaves thus forcing them to do things against their will, but that is comparing apples and oranges. We are talking about one group of people who uses the promise of having sex to control another group versus one group of people using their power to have sex with the powerless.

3. Its good for women to have standards. Any man would appreciate a woman that has standards. But at the end of the day, the title of this thread is Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want? The answer is simple: Yes they can. Why is it so hard to acknowledge that women can have sex whenever they want? The question is not asking whether women can sleep with WHOEVER they want, but asks can they have sex WHENEVER. We are talking about the opportunity to have sex versus the particular partner. Can men have sex whenever they want? No, unless he is with a woman who loves to have sex whenever he wants, is a person of wealth/power, patronizes the prostitution industry, or uses force to have sex. Women dont have to meet a wealthy or powerful man, pay a male prostitute or rape a man to have sex WHENEVER they want. That was the point most of the men were trying to make in this post. It doesnt make them women bashers, its just stating the truth.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 870
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/22/2013 11:18:18 AM

but I believe there are humble and modest people out there,

And I don't think having sex with anyone who approaches( because-what? It would be "rude" to refuse?) is a part of humility& modesty.
Unfortunately, I have to agree that a majority of wome do tend to prioritize sex differently.
Not saying we don't like sex, we don't want sex, but we don't let some perceived "need" of it be the driving force of our lives. We mostly want to have sex with someone who means something to us. There are a fair amount of men who feel the same way...but there are also a fair amount of men who WILL have sex with a woman simply because she's available,and there is where the OT question comes from.


You believe a "confident person"

I believe that a truly confident person doesn't NEED to date/be in a relationship/be able to obtai n sex-on-demand...A truly confident person sees having a sociosexual life or a significant other as an additional blessing bestowed by the Universe, not something the MUST have for validity, nor something they are OWED.

yet when it comes to sex, men it seems, have absolutely no issue with comparing their desire to get laid to some sort of survival issue and how emotionally damaging and scarring it apparently is because the women they want to **** arent dropping their drawers. Because this is really what is being said here when you sweep away all the poor me and boo hooing going on here.

I'm really sorry to have to say this, but I do have to agree that is the trend here that I am seeing, as well.

Sex is an act that is supposed to please all parties involved, but alot of women use it as bargaining chips.

Unfortunately, this can and does occur because we are still fighting eons of social conditioning. But whining about "sweet nectar" being withheld, or caving in to the manipulations, put your energy to finding a woman who doesn't see sex that way. I'm not talking about finding a "pro"(she's putting a very clear "price" on her "goods") or a doormat roundheel woman with no self esteem who thinks f*cking a guy is her ticket to a relationship with him.


How about lying to woman about their intentions just so they can have sex with her? How about the attitude that if a woman doesnt have sex with a man within a certain amount of time she has sexual issues or is a prude?

I do not disagree that this shit happens, but I think it goes back to men resenting the "control" that they percieve women to have over who they dole out the "cooky" to.

Here is the thing, for the average woman the sex with some guy she doesnt care about isnt all that great,

I don't think there are all that many average women who go around having sex with men they care nothing for. This may be at the heart of mens' complaint here?

But at the end of the day, the title of this thread is Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want? The answer is simple: Yes they can.

Of course they can,if they want to get off their asses, get "dressed to kill" and go out looking for it. Yes they can if they don't give a rats ass what sort of man the d*ck is attached to. I'm sure that any woman who wants to put some effort into cultivating a few f*ckbuddy guys could proabably get serviced with just phone call, but I don't think that many average women really want to f*ck for f*ckings' sake.

And perhaps this is where the disconnect occurs? Men don't understand-or maybe envy?- why women aren't making more use of their ability to obtain sex with a snap of her fingers?
Cindy O
 kissodeath
Joined: 9/20/2013
Msg: 871
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/22/2013 6:51:49 PM
Yes. All you have to say is I want to get laid or something to that effect. Boom. It will likely be a terrible experience which is why all women do not choose that path. But we can.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 872
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Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 1:13:33 AM

"1. Double standards suck. Yes its wrong for men to call sexually promiscuous women sluts when a man can sleep with many women and not earn a derogatory label. But what about the double standards that go against men? Is it fair that a woman who physically assaults a man be given a pass but a man who hits a woman be labeled a monster? Is it fair that a man who gets a woman drunk to have sex be labeled a rapist but a woman that does the same thing to a man be given a pass? My point is double standards between the genders exist, but if you are going to point out one side, you have to be willing to acknowledge the other side. "

Yet her post wasn't about double standards it was about showing you that guys do use sex as a game of power and control. Seems more like your post is about evading being called on your bs that men don't use sex as a game of power and control to whine about the poor menz.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 873
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Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 1:18:04 AM

And perhaps this is where the disconnect occurs? Men don't understand-or maybe envy?- why women aren't making more use of their ability to obtain sex with a snap of her fingers?


I agree that this is where the disconnect occurs as guys seem to see this as something enviable perhaps they'd understand why gals aren't using this ability if they saw it as being able to easily get an act one tends to not want (most tend to want relationships and if it is sex it's with those they connect with), generally doesn't enjoy (orgasm gap) and comes with the risks of rape, pregnancy, STDs, and STIs (gals are twice more likely to get an STD than give one).

So perhaps if guys saw gals ability as going to a really repulsive prostitution that could kill and anally rape him and if she didn't then she get all/most of the sexual pleasure then they'd see why this ability isn't seen as envious to gals.
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