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 AUTHOR
 house_full_of_bullets
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 874
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want? Page 27 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
Yes. All you have to say is I want to get laid or something to that effect. Boom. It will likely be a terrible experience which is why all women do not choose that path. But we can.

42 pages and we finally have the definitive answer. This topic can now be closed.

Thank you all for coming - drive home safe.
 nyceguy85
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 875
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 7:03:50 AM

Yet her post wasn't about double standards it was about showing you that guys do use sex as a game of power and control. Seems more like your post is about evading being called on your bs that men don't use sex as a game of power and control to whine about the poor menz.


Maybe you might want to read her post over again if your sole purpose isnt to defend everything she posts regardless of its content. While her overall post wasnt about double standards, she used examples of double standards to try to prove that men use sex as a game of power and control. The correlation she tried to make between the two issues made absolutely no sense. A man calling a woman a slut for doing the same thing he does is not him using sex to control her. If anything, the women will continue sleeping with whoever she wants, but she will just be an expert at hiding her misdeeds. Bottom line is that men on a large scale do not use the promise of sex to require women to do A-Z in order to score.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 876
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 8:41:50 AM
Maybe you might want to read her post over again if your sole purpose isnt to defend everything she posts regardless of its content. While her overall post wasnt about double standards, she used examples of double standards to try to prove that men use sex as a game of power and control. The correlation she tried to make between the two issues made absolutely no sense. A man calling a woman a slut for doing the same thing he does is not him using sex to control her. If anything, the women will continue sleeping with whoever she wants, but she will just be an expert at hiding her misdeeds. Bottom line is that men on a large scale do not use the promise of sex to require women to do A-Z in order to score.

Maybe you want to reread her post again if your perception isn't sex can only be used as power and control in only way way that being using the promise of sex to get someone to do something.

The correlation she made between the two issues made sense if the point was sex being used as a game of power and control which at the time it was with your "men do not use sex as a form of power and control". Slut-shaming is a way of using sex as power and control as it's trying to control female sexuality with shame, so is rape, and punishing those aka stoning that don't adhere to the sex rules. Seems you only think sex can be used as a power and control in only one way that being using the promise of sex to get someone to do something and that is completely untrue as that's not the only way sex is and can be used as power and control. Or you're changing it up after being called on your bs and now limiting it to the form only being promising sex in exchange for certain actions.

Some gals will continue sleeping with whoever they want, others will feel shame/guilt/regret over their actions and try to adhere to the male ideal of what's not a slut. I find it's really a toss up.

Nice on changing up your bottom line from guys do not use sex as a form of power and control to guys not using the promise of sex to require gals to do A-Z in get sex. Seems her post got through to you and you now know that guys do use sex as power and control unlike how you previously claimed and are now just listing the a way they generally do not use it for power and control.
 nyceguy85
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 877
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 9:12:57 AM

Nice on changing up your bottom line from guys do not use sex as a form of power and control to guys not using the promise of sex to require gals to do A-Z in get sex. Seems her post got through to you and you now know that guys do use sex as power and control unlike how you previously claimed and are now just listing the a way they generally do not use it for power and control.


I know you are friends with her and feel the need to defend her honor, but I did not change my bottom line. Slut shaming is not a way to control the actions and behaviors of women. That argument might have had some ground 60 years ago, but now a days women are encouraged to be sexual in nature. Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Nikki Minaj, various music video models ect are capitalizing off the "slut" image to make big bucks. As a result, many of the young girls who idolize these celebrities are mimicking their actions by wearing clothes in a scantily manner as well as gyrating on boys in a very vulgar manner. If slut shaming was as effective as you believe it to be, then why are so there so many single young girls out there with multiple kids by different fathers? Lets face it. Your friend knew the point I was trying to make and went to the extreme to form a rebuttal. Now you are speaking on her behalf to save her from further embarrassment.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 878
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 9:58:33 AM
perhaps the question should be, "can a woman get EVERY lay she wants?" everyone can lower their standards, but we all agree we in particular aren't in the mood to do so. Do hot people have better odds of getting the lay they want, than an average person does? sure.

yes, there are a few women who have little to offer but their bodies, and make men leap thru hoops to "Taste that nectar". but hey, if you went to a food bazzaar with only $20 in your pocket, would you start blowing cash at the first booth you went to, and kept going until the $20 was gone, or would you shop around for the best place to spend your $20? I recently bumped into a pair of female ex-coworkers who were smokin' hot when I worked with them in their 20's, and yet now years later I walked past them b/c I didn't recognize them.

would I have enjoyed dating them back then? sure. but they "only had $20", so they were looking for the best investment. now they don't even have that $20. they ain't nowhere in life. if you are annoyed w/ those $20 girls, I suggest you stop chasing around the basement and start looking in the boardroom. in other words, people who have little to offer, frankly, are found in certain places and not in others.

as for all the slut and other labels...funny how a lot of this really comes from the females. Where do we men learn as children to label women? typically from the adult who raised us, our mom. generally speaking, the average woman has little happiness for a female who steps out of the social group and acts independantly on her sexual desires. at least with recent generations, younger women are seeing "slut" as a potentially positive label for a friend.

guys use sex as a power tool? ask anyone working in a prison, power is what you give other people. how can a man apply sex as a lever to a woman? maybe if he lies to say, "give me sex, and I'll give you something more than sex." but, how healthy is it for a woman to choose trading sex for something more than sex? she's the one setting herself up to fail, thinking that sex means anything more than sex. or perhaps she thinks that a desire for sex for her signifies she is desireable? too bad she doesn't get her sense of self-worth from something more than sex--again, she's setting herself up for failure.

just because a beautiful woman has better odds of getting sex--which makes it less valuable in her eyes--doesn't mean she wants to wield that power. she may feel less desired, if she's the one who has to do all the work. her friends might even throw that in her face, should she pretend to be "all that and a bag of chips".
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 879
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 10:02:28 AM

Now you are speaking on her behalf to save her from further embarrassment.

Now that's the biggest HOOT I've heard in a long time. I don't think that the poster in question, or in fact any forum regular, is in need of defending by any other poster. And just what is it that grizzelda, WIP, motown, myself, or any other direct, oustspoken woman here-are supposed to be "embarassed" about?

Idk about YOUR particular social environment, mr nyceguy, but I think the average woman does NOT inhabit a social environment where trampy behavior, sexual promiscuity,etc are applauded.

What occurs in novels, music videos, TV shows, movies, is NOT what most of us are living every day. Far from it.
And I think everyone here is voicing their own opinions or pointing out what they believe to be misinterpretations or misunderstandings of other posters points.
I don't think anybody here is trying to save anyone else from "further embarrassment."

Yes, most women REQUIRE that men meet certain standards of citizenship,social behavior,and adult human functioning before they will drop their panties. I'm sorry that you feel like you should be able to walk up to a woman with your d*ck in your hand and get laid. But it just doesn't work that way.
Cindy O
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 880
view profile
History
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 1:42:50 PM
Your friend knew the point I was trying to make and went to the extreme to form a rebuttal. Now you are speaking on her behalf to save her from further embarrassment.


I have never met the poster in question so she has no need to defend my honor.


Men typically dont make women do this and that in order to give sexual pleasure because to men its not a game of power and control


That was your statement. I simply pointed out that men have used sexuality as a way to control and punish women for centuries in a variety of ways for a variety of different reasons, the main fact is that everything that was done was for the benefit of the male involved. Historically men have been by far the more vindictive and malicious than women have been in regards to sexual control.

You see a woman wanting to wait a couple days to decide if she wants to get naked with you as an aggregious act against you and your sexuality. You get a case of blue balls at worst.

You better call the Catholic Church , quick you may be in time to stop an awful lot of injustices...and the ironic thing about that is those victims are mainly little boys being preyed upon by men, men that are in positions of power and control and use that for their sexual gain.

Please do not try to insult the many people on this planet that have been on the recieving end of the very things you deny happen for nothing more than a man getting laid.

The very fact that male sexual behaviours and attitudes have always been given the old wink and nudge is the reason why many of these things have happened and still happen to this day.

Perhaps you consider a woman having choices and using them as some sort of evil manipulation, but dont apply the same reasoning to a man when he does the same thing. I know, I know, its different for guys...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 881
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 4:27:38 PM

Because people have feelings. Being told "no" hurts your feelings. Those pesky emotions...

(am I the only one who thinks the word "cahoots" sounds like an owl sneezing? Ca-ca-CAHOOTS!!!)


(NDTFan) So men who complain because puzzy isn't following them down the road and jumping indiscriminately onto their penis are just babies who haven't outgrown a childhood phase?


That's not even *REMOTELY* close to what I said. Mine was an accurate observation about human emotions; yours was just a load of hysterical over-the-top hyperbole.


This is all just bitterness because they feel that since the ratio of men to women is just about equal then everyone should just pair off and everyone gets someone of the opposite sex of their very own.


You and I could end up being paired! That'd be pretty kewl, doncha think?


Sex just isn't as important to women.


And the whole premise of this thread was, and still is, that sex is easier to come by for women than it is for men. Sheesh...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 882
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 4:33:01 PM

Because people have feelings. Being told "no" hurts your feelings. Those pesky emotions...


(WIP) But these are people we don't know so how are they affecting anyone that much?


Ever hear of "The Death of a Thousand Cuts", or "The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back"? A thousand insignificant repeated rejections can do a number on even Tony Robbins' self-esteem. Sure, you can isolate each one and say that it, in and of itself, is no big deal (and you'd be right), but taken together? Stop being disingenuos, and pretending that human relations take place in a sterile laboratory setting...



Neither is isolation.


(WIP) Being single is hardly comparable to isolation. For most single people...


I didn't realize that most single people had elected you as their spokesman.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 883
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 4:36:51 PM

(grizzelda) See what you missed is that no where in my post did I mention that anyone was starving, it was all about deciding what you are willing to do in order to feed a percieved "need" and justifying a bad or faulty decision and then demanding that everyone else make the same choices you do so your decision seems less questionable.


'scuse me, but...

Who are *YOU* to tell anyone else what is or isn't a need?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 884
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 7:22:25 PM

Ever hear of "The Death of a Thousand Cuts", or "The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back"? A thousand insignificant repeated rejections can do a number on even Tony Robbins' self-esteem. Sure, you can isolate each one and say that it, in and of itself, is no big deal (and you'd be right), but taken together? Stop being disingenuos, and pretending that human relations take place in a sterile laboratory setting..

The salesman's rule is (and let's face it, men who ask women out are in effect selling themselves), the more rejection you get the less it bothers you - and the closer you get to a yes. The more it happens the less personally it should be taken...unless the mindset is that how many people like you determines what type of person you are. That's totally up to the person in question to adjust that mindset.

I didn't realize that most single people had elected you as their spokesman.

They don't have to - it's a given that unless you are somewhere there are no other living things for days/weeks, you are not isolated. Someone can see themselves as isolated when single, but that's only their view on it. They are not literally isolated...and to connect the two will give you a more bleak outlook on single - not because it's actually bleak, but because they choose to see it that way.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 885
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/23/2013 9:30:58 PM

One's viewpoint is one's reality. You don't have to be on Gulligan's Island to be isolated. Instead of using the word 'they' maybe you could use the word "I". That way your viewpoint is true because it applies to 'you' when you draw these conclusions that you impose on all of mankind. I just looked at my caller I.D. The last call I've had here is July 28th. Would you consider that a level of isolation? Some of us put our lives into a S/O and didn't go play with the guys or gals to produce a circle of friends or the friends that did exist were married as well, (which disappear after a divorce). Some of us have children that are grown and are super busy raising their own little families and have very little spare time to spend with dear old dad.


That is a while ago (assuming you mean personal call, not business ones)

I am around a lot of people who also put a ton of their lives into the s/o and kids and all of a sudden after breakup were uncomfortable around their friends and clueless as to who they were. So if you are like them a nd all of a sudden find yourself alone and kind of drifting, it maybe doesn't help but you aren't the only one who feels that way. So you might be isolated in interpersonal but you are not isolated in how you feel. At least that's SOMETHING, right?

Knowing that is the first thing. The next thing is, what do you do about it when you all of a sudden AREN'T putting your life into your s/o and your circle of friends were the ones you had when you were married?

I can't answer for you but i and MANY other people I knew, found different avenues to discover things we liked and were passionate about, discovered hobbies, found networking groups for meeting people and making new friends that were single and did the dating thing; so that all of it put together built the new framework of the post breakup life.

Even if it is only one or two people you connect with in the groups or classes, eveyr person is a bridge. Every minute spent doing positive things for your health or interests is a bridge to feeling hopeful and positive rather than always lonely and isolated and left adrift.

I can't say I am speaking for everyone; but I AM speaking for literally a few hundred people I have come to know personally who went through this exact thing; and we (they and I both) all did the above to bridge from the life change to what we have now. A few are still having a tough time but most have made friends found passions they absolutely love; people who they like to spend time with; and some even have found s/os even though they weren't actively looking for them; while they discovered who they were as a person WITHOUT the former SO's reflection.

WIP is trying to say there are different ways to look at something where you can change mindset if you shift how you are looking; but if you can't hear that message because you feel she isn't speaking for you on where you are now; I CAN. I have been there. And know many there people that have too. VERY similar feelings, similar story. Start building bridges. No book required.

Very best of luck to you. Sincerely
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 886
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 7:52:41 AM
Guessing I struck a nerve here - however I wasn't addressing any one person on their situation.

One's viewpoint is one's reality. You don't have to be on Gulligan's Island to be isolated.

You mean "feel" isolated.

Instead of using the word 'they' maybe you could use the word "I". That way your viewpoint is true because it applies to 'you' when you draw these conclusions that you impose on all of mankind.

Again I was speaking in a literal sense, how people feel and how they see things is not always in the literal sense, which was kind of my point.

I just looked at my caller I.D. The last call I've had here is July 28th. Would you consider that a level of isolation?

Out of your control isolation? No. Circumstantial isolation? Yes...and a level of it is not an absolute, which I was addressing - my mistake for not clearly pointing that out.

Some of us put our lives into a S/O and didn't go play with the guys or gals to produce a circle of friends or the friends that did exist were married as well, (which disappear after a divorce). Some of us have children that are grown and are super busy raising their own little families and have very little spare time to spend with dear old dad.

This also is my point. For those who revolve around or put your lives into your SO only, having no other network to fall back on is a probable outcome. It can be avoided and it can be changed. There's no time like today to meet people and make connections.

You have a right to your own opinions and while they may be facts based upon your historical/current life experiences those conclusions you draw are not fact in several other people's lives, (whether some book claims them to be so or not).

I don't base a lot of stuff on my own personal history as I know I'm usually the exception in a lot of cases so that would be a biased and inaccurate source - my opinion on this comes from family members, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, etc male and female who have "felt" isolated while single because they either place that much importance on being part of a couple, or they didn't forge other connections outside a relationship that didn't work out.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 887
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 10:22:56 AM
Slut-shaming is a way of using sex as power and control

No, it's not. Slut-shaming is not using sex for anything. They're not having sex by merely doing slut-shaming. A woman going off on a guy for being a male slut (slut shaming) isn't using sex as power & control. It gives her no power or control over him. A bitter guy calling a gal a slut gives him no power or control over her.

WOMEN will slut-shame just as much as men do, if not more. Women are not using sex as power & control over other women. Aside from guys who are shot down or bitter about said gal being out of his league, more guys would rather have the slut-shaming NIXED so there'd be much less emotional hindrances to porking in the mind of many women, thus easier to get conveniently laid. :)

Slut-shaming is adding to society's peer pressure to NOT have sex. It's not an individual having/using sex to control another individual.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 888
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 10:55:20 AM
Me:
I really hope that’s an exaggeration. Please don’t put that much dependence on other people. It’s not healthy.


JoeBnD:
Neither is isolation.


It’s the same thing. A person who sees himself as “isolated” is depending on others to make him feel a certain way. Not only is that unhealthy…it’s dangerous. I am sorry you feel that way.

forumreaderisall:
Some of us put our lives into a S/O and didn't go play with the guys or gals to produce a circle of friends or the friends that did exist were married as well, (which disappear after a divorce). Some of us have children that are grown and are super busy raising their own little families and have very little spare time to spend with dear old dad.


That would be me…..and probably lots and lots of other people. And, I was living in another state before the break up, so the friends I did have were hundreds of miles away. I made new friends. I’m too young to sit around crying in my rocking chair.

I think one of the best things that ever happened to me was “isolation”….I was forced to spend time with myself and face all the painful crap I’d been avoiding. But then I could get RID of it. I love who I am now; I’m an interesting, cool woman. Sometimes it’s gotta hurt a whole hell of a lot before it gets better. Ever lance a boil?


The last call I've had here is July 28th. Would you consider that a level of isolation?


That sounds self-imposed. Why aren’t you calling anyone?

Do a search of volunteer opportunities in your area. You will find there are many, many, many people who are much worse off than being lonely…sorry….and you could actually be doing something real by helping other people instead of feeling sorry for yourself.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 889
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 11:15:51 AM

I just looked at my caller I.D. The last call I've had here is July 28th. Would you consider that a level of isolation?

Not necessarily. A lot of people text these days. ;) It could may be an Indicator of someone who's isolated, in a very broad definition, like in relation to human relations. But having a significant other is not the only form of human relations.


(WIP) Being single is hardly comparable to isolation. For most single people...
I didn't realize that most single people had elected you as their spokesman.

Maybe I missed something, but from these statements, I have to agree with what WIP said, as she wouldn't have to be a spokeswoman. One can have emotional problems and FEEL isolated when they are far far from it. So there's a difference between Feeling isolated vs Being isolated...

Just because one doesn't have a significant other at the time (single), doesn't even imply they're going to be isolated or even feel isolated. Heck, some single people will get laid a hell of a lot more frequently than others with significant-others -- and even BE less isolated in comparison regardless! :)
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 890
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 12:31:35 PM
One often hears/reads the term "social isolation". I guess this means that the person doesn't have a lot of social contacts(friends, activities, hobbies). I'm not sure whether contact with family ,dependence on family, or having some contact with social programs ( like Meals on Wheels) are considered to be some alleviation of social isolation or not.
But that's all neither here nor there, with regards to this topic.
I would suggest, that unless a person is housebound, lives alone and has ONLY contact with caregivers/service personnel, that any "isolation" being experienced is self-imposed. This is not always a BAD ting, as a couple of other posters have pointed out. But if the isolation is starting to get to you,there are lots of things you can do(unless you are housebound) to interact with other human beings, to make a difference in your little corner of the world, to improve yourself...having a SO is not the sole cure for so-called "isolation".
Cindy O
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 891
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 1:30:36 PM

(AT) Ever hear of "The Death of a Thousand Cuts", or "The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back"? A thousand insignificant repeated rejections can do a number on even Tony Robbins' self-esteem. Sure, you can isolate each one and say that it, in and of itself, is no big deal (and you'd be right), but taken together? Stop being disingenuos, and pretending that human relations take place in a sterile laboratory setting..


(WIP) The salesman's rule is (and let's face it, men who ask women out are in effect selling themselves), the more rejection you get the less it bothers you -


Why am I *NOT* surprised that your first recourse is to liken seeking a date to a business transaction?


The more it happens the less personally it should be taken...


Should is not the same thing as is. Stop thinking that dating is like sales, and we can wrap this right up...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 892
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 1:37:05 PM


The last call I've had here is July 28th. Would you consider that a level of isolation?


(fleuron) That sounds self-imposed. Why aren’t you calling anyone?


The 19th century called: they want their understanding of technology back... caller ID doesn't trace *OUTGOING* calls...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 893
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 5:43:39 PM
It may not be the only form but no other form compares to it. It would scare me if I thought some buddy of mine was as fulfilling as the relationship I had with my wife. I won't force you to believe as I do but I think when He made Eve He knew what He was doing.

When you use the word "isolation" -- it's the word isolation, not level of fruitfulness in one aspect. Isolation isn't defined as not having fruitful relationships (platonic or non-platonic). Isolation is the Wrong Word to use when pointing out the Actual state one is in when being single vs being with someone.

But on that topic that is Not about isolation... JUST being with someone can be LESS fulfilling than being single. There are people who have bad relationships and are in them, where close friendships with others are more fulfilling. It's not an animal that's going extinct, either, unfortunately. :)

Also, there are emotionally desperate people, by way of peer pressure of their sub-culture or surroundings, where "being with" someone, by itself, is fulfilling (regardless of who it is). Those people are sad apples. About as sad as single people who will only be fulfilled by never "settling (down)", even with an otherwise great compatible catch that's hard to come by.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 894
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 11:46:04 PM

That was an excellent reply moonbeamlover, message #1058. You are really a remarkable person.

You came across as totally 'getting it'. Really identifying with the struggle many face and how some seem to face greater difficulties than others without judging and criticizing those of us who are encountering a more difficult time than most. I know I fall into that small group that you know are still having a tough time but the way you presented your thoughts on the topic rekindles my hope that I too will develop a meaningful post breakup life. Some can flitter about and easily make transitions, some have to work at and then some REALLY have to work on it. In all three cases though it's doable so I'll keep looking for avenues I can travel to get there.

Thanks again, your sincerity showed through with each paragraph.


hey, thanks for getting that I get it. I think others do too; they just convey it differently.

If you want a testimonial? Tonight I was at a wedding rehearsal for some friends who I am the pianist for her daughter's wedding. She was one of those that when I met her, was broken and almost left the first event. He I had known since the first event and again, ROUGH circumstance.

Tonight two years later he was introducing me to a friend of his girlfriends while she was getting directions from the priest, they met at my house at a party probably nine months after her first thing. And two years later they are REALLY happy. It was not overnight; but trust me, I saw a LOT of people start at the "third level" and they got there. In the beginning the happy moments are the exception and you have to focus on them like crazy in between the tough times. Then, the more you get out, get healthy and focus on doing things that make you feel passionate about things and find people who share those passions, the more the happy times become the norm and the tough moments become the exception. It happens so gradually you don't even realize it until you come across someone who is in the place you are now, and you see that you have turned the corner, and things ARE brighter. When you get to that point and you meet a person who is where you are now? You reach out, and you pay it forward. Because you also will get it. And the fact you KNOW you will get there? Means you already have hope and a dream. That is huge. You are farther along than you think :) Happy bridge building.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 895
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/25/2013 2:08:46 PM

I'm thinking I've accomplished things you'd never come close to….


Well I see you can drag yourself out of your funk long enough to try to be insulting…I don’t know how you could possibly determine that since you know absolutely nothing about me or what I’ve accomplished.

I guess the only thing more impenetrable than self pity is the male ego.


Why didn't I think of that? Next time I call someone I'll tell them I'm hanging up and tell them to call me back. Geesh.


Look, I can match your sarcasm word for word. If you’re determined to feel sorry for yourself, good for you, have at it, but you don’t have to try to be nasty to somebody offering you alternative options.


How can you determine which group is worse off?


Does it matter? Doing something for somebody else gets you out of your own head and gives you the opportunity to appreciate the things you have, instead of focusing all your energy on what you perceive that you lack.

Everybody heals at their own pace. Commiseration is like putting a band aid on a gushing artery…it may feel good for a moment but it does nothing substantial long term. If you baby a wound it takes that much longer to heal. I understand the desire to wallow for a while, but I advise that you don’t get too comfortable with it or you may find it really difficult to work through….and it’s hard enough as it is.

Btw…..I determine multiply handicapped children who have to be fed intravenously three times a day because they are incapable of swallowing on their own to be “worse off” than someone who can’t make small talk with women.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 896
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 12:36:24 PM
How can you determine which group is worse off?


Does it matter? Doing something for somebody else gets you out of your own head and gives you the opportunity to appreciate the things you have, instead of focusing all your energy on what you perceive that you lack.

EXACTLY.
As I said in a previous post, unless one is housebound and nearly immobile, isolation tends to be self imposed.
Now, there are people who isolate themselves out of fear, depression, because they don't trust their judgement of other human beings, or they are those people that absolutely cannot go anywhere or do anything without having someone accompanying them. ( But that STILL falls into the "self-imposed" category, IMO.)
Wanted to add this in

Some of us put our lives into a S/O and didn't go play with the guys or gals to produce a circle of friends or the friends that did exist were married as well, (which disappear after a divorce). Some of us have children that are grown and are super busy raising their own little families and have very little spare time to spend with dear old dad.

So, you were a good husband, a good worker, a good dad. That doesn't mean that the Universe or your Higher Power OWES you a SO and social activity/attention.
I'm detecting a bit of resentment in some of your posts-and to some extent that can be understandable,but at the end of the day, if you feel isolated or "forgotten" then it's up to you to take action.
You might join Toastmasters, or maybe take some college or community ed courses on interpersonal relations or even sales/marketing to increase your "gift of gab".
Cindy O



I'm not quite sure how this ties in with whether or not women can get laid whenever they want. I guess if they locked themselves into their houses,or put on "blinders" and only left their house out of necessity( to work and do errands)
it might not be so easy to get laid.
But if you feel isolated and don't like it, then it's on YOU to take action. And no, just taking action doesn't guarantee that the Universe is going to immediately reward you with a new SO.
BTW, if you don't like people, there are lots of causes you can get involved in that aid animals, the environment, nature and wildlife,historic preservation, etc...
Cindy O
 SuzieQForForums
Joined: 8/5/2013
Msg: 897
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 3:06:48 PM
I'm not isolated, but it takes a lot of effort on my part to avoid isolation. I joined a Meetup hiking group, and a computer group. I belong to a group that fights foreclosures, it's an offshoot of the Occupy movement. I joined a group that feeds poor and or homeless people twice a month in the inner city. We all make food and bring it and serve it. I spent this afternoon baking 3 double batches of cornbread.

And just to stay on topic, yes, I can get laid easily. I've turned down sex half a dozen times in the last month. Not that I don't like sex, I do. But I want to know someone for more than an hour and a half, or I don't want to have sex with a married man (he didn't tell me till we met), etc.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 898
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 5:40:55 PM
Of course we can get laid whenever we want! I simply post a status on Facebook for a male to come jump in my vagina, and the first knock on my door... Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!
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