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 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 889
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want? Page 35 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)

I just looked at my caller I.D. The last call I've had here is July 28th. Would you consider that a level of isolation?

Not necessarily. A lot of people text these days. ;) It could may be an Indicator of someone who's isolated, in a very broad definition, like in relation to human relations. But having a significant other is not the only form of human relations.


(WIP) Being single is hardly comparable to isolation. For most single people...
I didn't realize that most single people had elected you as their spokesman.

Maybe I missed something, but from these statements, I have to agree with what WIP said, as she wouldn't have to be a spokeswoman. One can have emotional problems and FEEL isolated when they are far far from it. So there's a difference between Feeling isolated vs Being isolated...

Just because one doesn't have a significant other at the time (single), doesn't even imply they're going to be isolated or even feel isolated. Heck, some single people will get laid a hell of a lot more frequently than others with significant-others -- and even BE less isolated in comparison regardless! :)
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 890
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 12:31:35 PM
One often hears/reads the term "social isolation". I guess this means that the person doesn't have a lot of social contacts(friends, activities, hobbies). I'm not sure whether contact with family ,dependence on family, or having some contact with social programs ( like Meals on Wheels) are considered to be some alleviation of social isolation or not.
But that's all neither here nor there, with regards to this topic.
I would suggest, that unless a person is housebound, lives alone and has ONLY contact with caregivers/service personnel, that any "isolation" being experienced is self-imposed. This is not always a BAD ting, as a couple of other posters have pointed out. But if the isolation is starting to get to you,there are lots of things you can do(unless you are housebound) to interact with other human beings, to make a difference in your little corner of the world, to improve yourself...having a SO is not the sole cure for so-called "isolation".
Cindy O
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 891
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 1:30:36 PM

(AT) Ever hear of "The Death of a Thousand Cuts", or "The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back"? A thousand insignificant repeated rejections can do a number on even Tony Robbins' self-esteem. Sure, you can isolate each one and say that it, in and of itself, is no big deal (and you'd be right), but taken together? Stop being disingenuos, and pretending that human relations take place in a sterile laboratory setting..


(WIP) The salesman's rule is (and let's face it, men who ask women out are in effect selling themselves), the more rejection you get the less it bothers you -


Why am I *NOT* surprised that your first recourse is to liken seeking a date to a business transaction?


The more it happens the less personally it should be taken...


Should is not the same thing as is. Stop thinking that dating is like sales, and we can wrap this right up...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 892
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 1:37:05 PM


The last call I've had here is July 28th. Would you consider that a level of isolation?


(fleuron) That sounds self-imposed. Why aren’t you calling anyone?


The 19th century called: they want their understanding of technology back... caller ID doesn't trace *OUTGOING* calls...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 893
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 5:43:39 PM
It may not be the only form but no other form compares to it. It would scare me if I thought some buddy of mine was as fulfilling as the relationship I had with my wife. I won't force you to believe as I do but I think when He made Eve He knew what He was doing.

When you use the word "isolation" -- it's the word isolation, not level of fruitfulness in one aspect. Isolation isn't defined as not having fruitful relationships (platonic or non-platonic). Isolation is the Wrong Word to use when pointing out the Actual state one is in when being single vs being with someone.

But on that topic that is Not about isolation... JUST being with someone can be LESS fulfilling than being single. There are people who have bad relationships and are in them, where close friendships with others are more fulfilling. It's not an animal that's going extinct, either, unfortunately. :)

Also, there are emotionally desperate people, by way of peer pressure of their sub-culture or surroundings, where "being with" someone, by itself, is fulfilling (regardless of who it is). Those people are sad apples. About as sad as single people who will only be fulfilled by never "settling (down)", even with an otherwise great compatible catch that's hard to come by.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 894
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/24/2013 11:46:04 PM

That was an excellent reply moonbeamlover, message #1058. You are really a remarkable person.

You came across as totally 'getting it'. Really identifying with the struggle many face and how some seem to face greater difficulties than others without judging and criticizing those of us who are encountering a more difficult time than most. I know I fall into that small group that you know are still having a tough time but the way you presented your thoughts on the topic rekindles my hope that I too will develop a meaningful post breakup life. Some can flitter about and easily make transitions, some have to work at and then some REALLY have to work on it. In all three cases though it's doable so I'll keep looking for avenues I can travel to get there.

Thanks again, your sincerity showed through with each paragraph.


hey, thanks for getting that I get it. I think others do too; they just convey it differently.

If you want a testimonial? Tonight I was at a wedding rehearsal for some friends who I am the pianist for her daughter's wedding. She was one of those that when I met her, was broken and almost left the first event. He I had known since the first event and again, ROUGH circumstance.

Tonight two years later he was introducing me to a friend of his girlfriends while she was getting directions from the priest, they met at my house at a party probably nine months after her first thing. And two years later they are REALLY happy. It was not overnight; but trust me, I saw a LOT of people start at the "third level" and they got there. In the beginning the happy moments are the exception and you have to focus on them like crazy in between the tough times. Then, the more you get out, get healthy and focus on doing things that make you feel passionate about things and find people who share those passions, the more the happy times become the norm and the tough moments become the exception. It happens so gradually you don't even realize it until you come across someone who is in the place you are now, and you see that you have turned the corner, and things ARE brighter. When you get to that point and you meet a person who is where you are now? You reach out, and you pay it forward. Because you also will get it. And the fact you KNOW you will get there? Means you already have hope and a dream. That is huge. You are farther along than you think :) Happy bridge building.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 895
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/25/2013 2:08:46 PM

I'm thinking I've accomplished things you'd never come close to….


Well I see you can drag yourself out of your funk long enough to try to be insulting…I don’t know how you could possibly determine that since you know absolutely nothing about me or what I’ve accomplished.

I guess the only thing more impenetrable than self pity is the male ego.


Why didn't I think of that? Next time I call someone I'll tell them I'm hanging up and tell them to call me back. Geesh.


Look, I can match your sarcasm word for word. If you’re determined to feel sorry for yourself, good for you, have at it, but you don’t have to try to be nasty to somebody offering you alternative options.


How can you determine which group is worse off?


Does it matter? Doing something for somebody else gets you out of your own head and gives you the opportunity to appreciate the things you have, instead of focusing all your energy on what you perceive that you lack.

Everybody heals at their own pace. Commiseration is like putting a band aid on a gushing artery…it may feel good for a moment but it does nothing substantial long term. If you baby a wound it takes that much longer to heal. I understand the desire to wallow for a while, but I advise that you don’t get too comfortable with it or you may find it really difficult to work through….and it’s hard enough as it is.

Btw…..I determine multiply handicapped children who have to be fed intravenously three times a day because they are incapable of swallowing on their own to be “worse off” than someone who can’t make small talk with women.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 896
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 12:36:24 PM
How can you determine which group is worse off?


Does it matter? Doing something for somebody else gets you out of your own head and gives you the opportunity to appreciate the things you have, instead of focusing all your energy on what you perceive that you lack.

EXACTLY.
As I said in a previous post, unless one is housebound and nearly immobile, isolation tends to be self imposed.
Now, there are people who isolate themselves out of fear, depression, because they don't trust their judgement of other human beings, or they are those people that absolutely cannot go anywhere or do anything without having someone accompanying them. ( But that STILL falls into the "self-imposed" category, IMO.)
Wanted to add this in

Some of us put our lives into a S/O and didn't go play with the guys or gals to produce a circle of friends or the friends that did exist were married as well, (which disappear after a divorce). Some of us have children that are grown and are super busy raising their own little families and have very little spare time to spend with dear old dad.

So, you were a good husband, a good worker, a good dad. That doesn't mean that the Universe or your Higher Power OWES you a SO and social activity/attention.
I'm detecting a bit of resentment in some of your posts-and to some extent that can be understandable,but at the end of the day, if you feel isolated or "forgotten" then it's up to you to take action.
You might join Toastmasters, or maybe take some college or community ed courses on interpersonal relations or even sales/marketing to increase your "gift of gab".
Cindy O



I'm not quite sure how this ties in with whether or not women can get laid whenever they want. I guess if they locked themselves into their houses,or put on "blinders" and only left their house out of necessity( to work and do errands)
it might not be so easy to get laid.
But if you feel isolated and don't like it, then it's on YOU to take action. And no, just taking action doesn't guarantee that the Universe is going to immediately reward you with a new SO.
BTW, if you don't like people, there are lots of causes you can get involved in that aid animals, the environment, nature and wildlife,historic preservation, etc...
Cindy O
 SuzieQForForums
Joined: 8/5/2013
Msg: 897
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 3:06:48 PM
I'm not isolated, but it takes a lot of effort on my part to avoid isolation. I joined a Meetup hiking group, and a computer group. I belong to a group that fights foreclosures, it's an offshoot of the Occupy movement. I joined a group that feeds poor and or homeless people twice a month in the inner city. We all make food and bring it and serve it. I spent this afternoon baking 3 double batches of cornbread.

And just to stay on topic, yes, I can get laid easily. I've turned down sex half a dozen times in the last month. Not that I don't like sex, I do. But I want to know someone for more than an hour and a half, or I don't want to have sex with a married man (he didn't tell me till we met), etc.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 898
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 5:40:55 PM
Of course we can get laid whenever we want! I simply post a status on Facebook for a male to come jump in my vagina, and the first knock on my door... Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 899
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 6:56:13 PM
As far as volunteering as a venue to meet new people, I want to meet people on the same level emotionally...& socio-economically.

So if anyone out there is heeding the previous advice, choose very carefully where u volunteer...it can be just as bad as online dating!
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 900
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 7:43:18 PM
I tried a photography meetup group a few weeks ago, one of the woman had more of a beard than me, so ya perhaps online dating is safer, but then again, she could be one of the many without a picture on here too. :|
 SuzieQForForums
Joined: 8/5/2013
Msg: 901
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/26/2013 8:53:43 PM
Well I'm volunteering to volunteer, and to prevent feeling isolated or sorry for myself, not to meet people to date. But the other people who volunteer ARE on the same level as me. And I've recently decided one of my criteria is to look for is someone who does something to make the world a better place. So if I meet another volunteer and start dating, that would be a good thing.


As far as volunteering as a venue to meet new people, I want to meet people on the same level emotionally...& socio-economically.

So if anyone out there is heeding the previous advice, choose very carefully where u volunteer...it can be just as bad as online dating!
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 902
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/27/2013 3:01:04 PM

As far as volunteering as a venue to meet new people, I want to meet people on the same level emotionally...& socio-economically.

So if anyone out there is heeding the previous advice, choose very carefully where u volunteer...it can be just as bad as online dating!


I suggested volunteering as a way to alleviate feelings of isolation and self pity; not as a way to pick up women. Cripes, if a person can’t do something altruistic without expecting something in return for ME ME ME, don’t bother because you will get nothing meaningful out of it, and put nothing meaningful into it.


I tried a photography meetup group a few weeks ago, one of the woman had more of a beard than me, so ya perhaps online dating is safer


Omg….are you okay? How did you ever manage to escape with your life and sanity after a horrific encounter like that?! Oh yeah hiding behind a screen in your boxers swigging a 40 is waaaay less psyche damaging than risking running into ugly women in real life.

OT The real problem for women is finding a man worth laying. I can take care of myself nicely and treat myself to an ice cream without having to tolerate some smelly snoring creature I’ll just have to clean up after before he finally leaves. (Some) Men are way more trouble than they’re worth. IMO.
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 903
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/27/2013 3:14:51 PM

Omg….are you okay? How did you ever manage to escape with your life and sanity after a horrific encounter like that?! Oh yeah hiding behind a screen in your boxers swigging a 40 is waaaay less psyche damaging than risking running into ugly women in real life.

I didn't say she was ugly, i said she had a beard..we ended up trading grooming tips, and I rarely drink , and I don't wear boxers, thanks for the concern though grumpy. :D
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 904
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/27/2013 4:28:08 PM
The real problem for women is finding a man worth laying. I can take care of myself nicely and treat myself to an ice cream without having to tolerate some smelly snoring creature I’ll just have to clean up after before he finally leaves. (Some) Men are way more trouble than they’re worth. IMO.

The same of the latter part can be said in the opposite direction too! I think many of us guys have woke up thinking "WTF was I thinking?!" mistaking her underpants under the covers that are covering his ankles as a smaller, odd, over-used bed sheet that he never remembered having.

But how "worthy" the guy or the girl is for a fun game of hide-the-salami, doesn't really matter... whether they're ugly or hot relative to the person, it's FAR easier for a girl to obtain such a spur-of-the-moment playmate. Especially one who wouldn't be ugly (that's where the guy has at least a little leg room).

I will add this though: Given common culture conditioning, a reasonable looking guy (who's not hot tho) approaching a gal he's never met or seen before, is going to question his "worthiness" to many -- on a level she will probably not be aware of. Many women look down at guys approaching women who very well may be wanting a piece of arse. Not to say if he has some charm and isn't intrusive/rude she'll hiss & hate him -- but still, worrying/having that vibe will make it more of an uphill battle of "worthiness" as opposed to meeting thru people they know.

Hence, under the (not so common) scenario of "Hmmm, I'm just going to pick a guy to bang," for many ladies, he'll have to be more worthy than the level of a guy she'd agree to go out on a coffee date with from POF... as the scenario itself gives many an underlying "not so good" touch to things.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 905
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/28/2013 1:41:42 PM

Many women look down at guys approaching women who very well may be wanting a piece of arse.

Oh, I'm not so sure that women look down on men for looking for a piece of tail, it's men who act as if they are OWED a piece of tail and get snarky if the lady declines his interest.
Or men who come onto dating sites and become infuriated because women aren't LEAPING to respond to his contact.
I don't look down at guys looking for a piece of tail any more than I would look down at a cat for catching a mouse. But I will look down on a man who acts like he's OWED sex because he has a d*ck.
I don't think I've every seen any kind of predator animal having a hissy fit/temper tantrum, if they failed to catch their intended prey.
Incidentally, I have to make an observation on post(s) that presume the advocacy for volunteerism,activism, or other altruistic pursuits is a means of meeting potential Significant Others. That is so NOT what it is about.
Also interesting that someone drags "socioeconomic levels" into the discussion.
Must be they presume that not only the recipients of services ,but those who volunteer to provide services are all emotionally and socioeconomically stunted, as well
For the most part, people I have met as either recipients of services or my fellow volunteers are NOT on some lower emotional,social or financial level.
I cannot help but wonder why some women don't just tell it like it is...they are looking for a relationship to shore up their own socioeconomic position,first and foremost.
And to add another thought, "volunteering" doesn't mean exclusively service to the financially unfortunate. Many organizations that protect animals, nature, the environment , support community improvement, political concerns, provide support for veterans, current military & their families, are highly dependent on volunteer involvements.

But again, to the OT- yes, women usually CAN-in theory-get laid whenever they want. But most women-other than prostitutes- cannot just grab any old pole to put in their hole, they have to LIKE the guy. And achieving true sexual satisfaction, for women, is generally a more complex process than it is for guys. Oh trust me, I've heard all the comments about bags, flags and the crack of dawn.
Cindy O
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 906
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/28/2013 2:36:23 PM

(fleuron) Cripes, if a person can’t do something altruistic without expecting something in return for ME ME ME, don’t bother because you will get nothing meaningful out of it, and put nothing meaningful into it.


I hope you're being deliberately provocative in an effort to promote spirited discussion...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 907
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/28/2013 2:40:45 PM

(ladyc4) But again, to the OT- yes, women usually CAN-in theory-get laid whenever they want. But most women-other than prostitutes- cannot just grab any old pole to put in their hole, they have to LIKE the guy.


Crane your neck up, up, up... see the question? It's not, "Do women have to like a guy?", but "Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?"...

(I wonder why so many women dodge a straight-forward question?)
 Dan6308
Joined: 10/23/2013
Msg: 908
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/28/2013 5:58:06 PM
Usually it's easier for them. But those that aren't too attractive have a harder time.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 909
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/28/2013 6:48:53 PM

I tried a photography meetup group a few weeks ago, one of the woman had more of a beard than me, so ya perhaps online dating is safer, but then again, she could be one of the many without a picture on here too. :|


This reminded me of the following experience ....

Quite a while ago, when I was working in Maryland, I met a little person in a bar, she was about 3 and half feet tall. Very weird to dance with her, the top of her head was about at my belt buckle, which in itself made me horny.

We went to a booth, and we started to make out.

She had this bearded stubble on her face, which put her a little over my comfort line. Strange midget lady OK, strange bearded midget lady, it starts to get weird.

But it was really my second thought that was the mood killer.

Was she a she or a he, which would have been two giant steps over the line. Even the fact that I knew I would be leaving the state on a jet plane didn't make me feel at ease.

Had I not gotten weirded out, no doubt I would have had an unique experience, not matter what the lay of the land was.

So not every woman can get laid whenever they want, but maybe she got laid from some other laddie that night?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 910
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/28/2013 8:01:08 PM
Oh, I'm not so sure that women look down on men for looking for a piece of tail, it's men who act as if they are OWED a piece of tail and get snarky if the lady declines his interest.

Many women in common environments are not keen on a guy just looking for tail. If I turned to a female friend who was decently approached by a guy, and said that I knew him and he's just looking for a piece of a$$ -- the reaction most likely will be in the negative range at least to some degree. There are even plenty of women who will scoff and get upset.

I also think many women look down on women just looking for a piece of tail, too (see people-watching "skanks at bars"). Plenty of women on POF also have it in their profiles that they don't want guys who just want a piece of a$$.

I think the guys are just looking for that who also think they're all that and treat women like sh!t is what helps further the turn off of guys just wanting a$$... and yes, women will truly hate guys like that, whether they're Just looking for a$$ or not.

yes, women usually CAN-in theory-get laid whenever they want.

Yes, and that pretty much answers and resolves the forum question. In other forum threads (and in some profiles), it's said without argument something to the effect of "... if I just wanted to get laid, I could do that pretty much any time I wanted by going to the bar...".

The question of this forum thread is about the same as "Does a bear sh!t in the woods?" The only real debate would be how easy it'd be for some girls vs others, when it comes to a guy who's at least okay looking... and what venues would make it easier than others.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 911
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/30/2013 4:58:15 PM

(dragonbits) This reminded me of the following experience ....

Quite a while ago, when I was working in Maryland, I met a little person in a bar, she was about 3 and half feet tall. Very weird to dance with her, the top of her head was about at my belt buckle, which in itself made me horny.

We went to a booth, and we started to make out.

She had this bearded stubble on her face, which put her a little over my comfort line. Strange midget lady OK, strange bearded midget lady, it starts to get weird.

But it was really my second thought that was the mood killer.

Was she a she or a he, which would have been two giant steps over the line. Even the fact that I knew I would be leaving the state on a jet plane didn't make me feel at ease.


Gather 'round, children! It's time for Uncle Arlo's bedtime story, "Arlo and the Close Call"...

A few years ago, I met this girl off here. We met at a local shopping centre for coffee. She had on tight jeans, a tank top, knee-high boots, and she had a red mohawk (as in, red that you never see in nature...). Anyway, we strolled around the mall for a while, then went back to her place, where I was startled to see that she had an extensive collection of leather bondage gear in her living room... we kissed, then I left (she said she was going to see a band at a bar with some friends that night).

Anyway, a few months later, while I was blasting the guns at the gym, I idly thought about her. I remember thinking, "That girl had rather brawny arms. Not like the girls here who do yoga; more like the guys who are toning. Come to think of it, she had rather large hands, too... *SUNNUVA****!*"

Imagine how it could have ended: with me running, naked as a jay, wailing like a Banshee, holding my bunched-up clothes to my chest, and with a bad case of Shrink-D!nk (it was late October), and her calling after me, "COME BACK, SWEETIE! I PROMISE IT WON'T HURT MUCH!!!"

I still have nightmares, and wake up in a cold sweat, when I think about that close escape...
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 912
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/31/2013 4:49:17 AM
It's not, "Do women have to like a guy?", but "Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?".

according to you and dragonbits, the answer is "almost all of them" but that never stopped you from also bragging about the ones that got away.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 913
Can women REALLY get laid whenever they want?
Posted: 10/31/2013 7:46:00 AM
In my experience,some of the ladies who are "not keen on a guy just looking for tail" are usually those who've had a bad experience with one...or two. He was the type of guy (I won't use the word, "man") who has been described by other postings--he thought dinner was enough to buy it, or was otherwise owed a happy ending simply b/c he brought an erection along, et cetera.

there were other ladies who were raised to be good little girls and save themselves for marriage. A dude looking to get the milk for free would, of course, not be the business deal they were looking for.

Ladies, however, who were open minded (that's not a label, that's a literal definition)had met fellows who acted like adults while "pursuin' a little strange" had a better respect for future guys who were lookin' for some release. In their experience, a fellow could take a "no" gracefully.

Can't say I blame any of those groups for coming to the conclusions they came to.
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