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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word      Home login  
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 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 76
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How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his WordPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Haha, you brought back this old thread. It's kind of dear to my heart because the advice here gave me such valuable insights, and helped me to move past that jerk. And almost immediately after, I met my guy, who has never treated me this way and always shows how much he cares about me.
 angierbeauty
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 77
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How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/23/2013 4:22:30 PM
The Saying goes.....dont make someone a priority that makes you a option....
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 78
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/23/2013 4:34:35 PM
Hey there... dang, and you guys are so cute together! Sorry to hear that!!


To answer your question... dependability and consideration are things that show respect and they show caring of your feelings.

If someone when they are out of sight out of mind, lose that consideration, blow off their word and can't take even the fifteen seconds worth of text to say "hey, running late, will call when we're through" not once but repeatedly?

It means they really DON'T care about respect or feelings much IF you have voiced that it bothers you when they do it; and they keep going. It is not like you asked then when; they volunteered it. And going dark for not only a couple hours sometimes but up to several DAYS?

That is way past inconsideration. That is flaky and shows they really could care less if they interact with you for your sake; it is only when they feel like it.

And that is NOT the basis of a good relationship. Once or twice it's one thing; but a pattern established? What is that saying? Once shame on you, twice shame on me :)
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 79
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/23/2013 5:10:26 PM

What is that saying? Once shame on you, twice shame on me :)


Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I think the first time I ever heard it was in an episode of the original Star Trek series. And then there was the time that George W Bush provided his version of it, that was fun.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 80
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/23/2013 6:35:42 PM


What is that saying? Once shame on you, twice shame on me :)


Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I think the first time I ever heard it was in an episode of the original Star Trek series. And then there was the time that George W Bush provided his version of it, that was fun.


dang, then I should have remembered the whole thing :) (I think it was the George W version that made me forget the original LOL)
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 81
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How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 5:15:00 AM
Just to clarify, this post is almost three years old and somebody revived it for unknown reasons.

The guy in my pictures is NOT the guy this post was about. The guy in the picture is a wonderful man, who has never treated me badly, and we have been very happy together for almost three years.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 82
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 5:34:13 AM
Thank goodness... I was happy for you guys and thought you were adorable together because you had SUCH good things to say about him; this sounded unlike how you usually talked.

Good thing you got rid of the other one so you COULD find someone who treats you right :)
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 83
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 5:59:49 AM

Thank goodness... I was happy for you guys and thought you were adorable together because you had SUCH good things to say about him; this sounded unlike how you usually talked.


lol I thought the same. I did a double take and checked the date.
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 84
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 6:36:01 AM
Back to original question, I used to be "3 strikes, you're out"
Now, once is enough to turn me off!
Glad Lilli met a good guy after the not so good one!
 or_current_resident
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 85
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 7:36:25 AM

I wish I could figure out exactly why this type of nonsene appeals to me.


And I'm sure a lot of us folks have done this in various degrees and wonder why we also acted this way too at that moment in time......
And we may not believe it at first when in one of these funks, but it's still the person inside what counts the most.....and to learned from it, & to wake up & moved to a better place when confronted with people who keep their word. imo, it's like the responsible thing to do.
And those that care enough to make the time to those who matter to them. And vs versa.....

Happiness starts with u and meeting like minded people only can embellish and grow from it, & enjoying it together.

The round hole in a square peg never will fit, & only one will be hurt till the fat lady sings......good luck
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 86
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 7:54:58 AM
What kind of word are we talking about? If a guy says he'll swim across the biggest ocean, climb the highest mountain, and slay the biggest dragon for you and doesn't do all three, do you kick him to the curb?
 Iseedudpeople
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 87
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 7:55:45 AM

He sometimes explained why he couldn't call, but they were usually reasons like Oh, I was with friends, I didn't bring my phone, basically, he was doing other things that were more important.



I was involved with a woman like this and I let it slide initially because I was so smitten. But , then I wondered if she was either playing games or just not that into me.

It reminded me of the saying " don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option "

Like you, I finally got angry - I was actually hurt and disappointed that she didn't reciprocate my feelings.

Of course, I was made out to be the " bad guy " because I lost my cool.....

Live and learn, all you can do
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 88
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 10:09:58 AM

How many chances do you guys give people?

TOTALLY depends on what the situation is and what it's about. Way too vague to say "How many chances?"

Big difference between saying they'll show up for a date and don't show, but hours later say "OH, yeah, I've been busy doing this and that. Call me next week and we'll arrange something," VS someone being busy and apologizing by not calling around the time they say they would. One strike and you're out in the first situation, of course. The second situation, depends on the sincerity, but yeah, you at least give them another chance.

"OH, yeah, I told you wouldn't have sex with my ex. I promise I won't do it again!" -- How many "chances" do you give him? NONE!

"OH, I know I told you me and my friends would meet up with you and your friends here at 9, and it's 9:30, I'm sorry, Bob was pining over his breakup and other stuff... but here, I'll make it up to you..." -- How many "chances" before you break up with the BF because of that? Whoah, Easy! Sure you even like the guy? ;)
 quinnperkins
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 89
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/24/2013 6:51:57 PM
i have male friends and the first thing they would say if you were to tell them this story would be the dude sensed your desperation, and if it was me i would say bs, look i think twice should be good enough, because after the second time that proves to you he has no respect or interest in you and you need to cut that zero and move on....i have had that happened to me with a guy and i noticed that everytime he made plans to go out with me he always had to cancel because something would always come up...it never fail...honey save your self the headache an let him stay at the curb.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 90
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How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/25/2013 4:03:14 AM
This thread is almost three years old. I don't know why somebody dug it up. It has nothing to do with my life and the man in it, today.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 91
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/25/2013 5:04:31 PM
while this thread me an "older thread".......

this is a subject that is very timeless and very very relevant. .......

I don't give a lot of chances to those who can't keep their word.

and these days.....there are sooo many who don't.
 WeeDeeter
Joined: 7/2/2013
Msg: 92
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/26/2013 1:09:45 AM
Once is an accident
Twice is a coincedence
Three times is deliberate

You know chit can happen. A phone loses it's charge...he had to work late...whatever. But you seem to be an option to this guy. I'm more concerned between the incongruence between his stated intentions ( he says he very into you and the phone calls are very intense) and his actions (he's not treating you like you are important to him) Personally it's a huge red flag for me. It's called love bombing which is followed by a discard....it's a tactic employed by disordered individuals to groom you for ongoing emotional abuse. I would facking RUN!

Turn OFF the volume on this guy. Imagine for a moment he can't talk. Forget everything he's SAID. Stand back and take stock of what he's done. Has he SHOWN you that he is in to you? (or just told you)

One thing is true about men...they rarely deny themselves something they want. (yeh yeh whatever to all the indignant men!) If he wanted you...NOTHING could keep him away from you.

I think you've saved yourself a lot of grief by putting the run him. Move on.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 93
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How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/26/2013 1:11:52 AM
I did. I moved on three years ago.
 WeeDeeter
Joined: 7/2/2013
Msg: 94
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 10/26/2013 1:13:46 AM
Right on! You made the right decision then! :D
 Buterfly1978
Joined: 11/3/2013
Msg: 95
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 11/11/2013 5:07:07 PM

Once is an accident
Twice is a coincedence
Three times is deliberate


Actions speak louder than words...

Words are easy to speak, but following up with the same actions is a little harder.
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 96
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 11/12/2013 1:17:12 AM
i avoid giving my word because i don't want to be held responsible or accountable for things i don't want to be held responsible or accountable for. that being said, if i say i will do something i do it, if you're still dating "men" who don't, then you may wanna read some self help books and grow the f up you child.

if i don't do something and i said i would then chances are i forgot because i'm pretty absentminded, and my special lady will know better than to bullshit me with crap like keeping my word, just remind me and problem solved i always put time into things that are important.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 97
How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 11/12/2013 1:39:33 AM
Usually about 3 times, and then I would be honest and let them know that what they are doing is bothering me. If they can't get that or try to fix it, then I'm done. He can sit there and act like you are the bad guy, but you have every right to be pissed.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 98
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How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 11/12/2013 4:13:12 PM
1 chance. NUFF SAID!
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 99
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How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 11/12/2013 4:25:28 PM
This thread is three years old......

Miss LiliMarleen caught her a nice fishie.

Congrats beautiful.

I am sure this thread has some meaning but not in her current status.

You can all let it go now.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 100
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How Many Chances if a Man Doesn't Keep his Word
Posted: 11/12/2013 4:27:46 PM
I've tried to let it go, but this thread has "static cling"...........
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