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 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 76
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
this thread sounds like the scene from pulp fiction where Travolta is trying to convince Jackson to eat pork, specifically bacon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8UE4P8kB-c
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 77
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/27/2011 9:51:34 AM

A few years ago there was a mini-series documentary on the science of beauty. They had pics of both male and females of different races ranging from models to people with deformities.
They had people all over the world, including some far off tribe that had very little exposure to modern people, place the pics for each sex in order from attractive to ugly. They reported that ALL people lined the pics up almost identically within a spot or two. So, what that means is if we're being honest with ourselves, we can all agree on beauty.

Study or no study, my friends and I all find drastically different looking men attractive. And none of us can figure out what the other one sees in the men she chooses...so while there are very very general levels of good looks out there, at least in my circles, women almost never see one particular guy the same way.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 78
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/27/2011 12:59:44 PM
Actually I think it was "speak softly and carry a big stick."(Theodore Roosevelt)
but an excellent point!
Cindy O
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 79
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/27/2011 1:30:22 PM

A few years ago there was a mini-series documentary on the science of beauty. They had pics of both male and females of different races ranging from models to people with deformities.
They had people all over the world, including some far off tribe that had very little exposure to modern people, place the pics for each sex in order from attractive to ugly. They reported that ALL people lined the pics up almost identically within a spot or two. So, what that means is if we're being honest with ourselves, we can all agree on beauty.

Well, I'd likely be the one in the study that picked the polar opposite of all those in agreement. I agree with very few women on celebrities found to be exceptionally attractive. I'd take Andy Garcia over Tom Cruise/Brad Pitt any day. Add in some of my stranger preferences, like, my eye-lash preference (now figure that one out.....how tactfully can you inspect someone's eyelashes without them noticing?? LOL) and it would be impossible for most anyone else to pick the exact same man I'd pick. At any rate ~ I've dated men who were model-material (married a man we called Ponch because he was the spitting image of a young Eric Estrada) and I've dated men that look like Jesse James, sleeved out/shaved head/etc. Since these are definite opposites of one another, and none of them had money ~ I'd say it's definitely more "in the eye of the beholder" for me and definitely runs deeper than simple outer shell. I'm certain some people wonder what certain men see in me and some people wonder what I see in certain men. And that is the glory of different and personal preferences.

Some men are simply hard to ignore, not based upon their looks ~ it goes much more into mannerisms, fine details one may notice, etc., it's no wonder to me that some men attract beautiful women ~ it's just how it works. JMO
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 80
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/27/2011 2:24:48 PM

Study or no study, my friends and I all find drastically different looking men attractive. And none of us can figure out what the other one sees in the men she chooses...so while there are very very general levels of good looks out there, at least in my circles, women almost never see one particular guy the same way.


Same here with women - I've had friends be "totally taken at first sight" with a woman that, to me, wasn't all that attractive... and vice versa. What one person finds 'attractive' isn't always what someone else will.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 81
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/27/2011 2:51:34 PM
Okay, I'm the same way... but we're people who pay attention to mannerisms and such...there's no way to do that with pics alone....especially when you have never seen that person before.

Most likely, if you didn't know who they were you'd place Andy, Brad, and Tom in relatively the same section as everyone else...maybe in different order though. That's the point of the study...the same pics wound up consistently in the same part of the scale....compared to the other pics.

I mean who wouldn't put Brad Port ahead of Steve Buscemi or Angelina Jolie ahead of Kathy Bates?
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 82
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/27/2011 2:52:42 PM

Some men are simply hard to ignore, not based upon their looks ~ it goes much more into mannerisms, fine details one may notice, etc., it's no wonder to me that some men attract beautiful women ~ it's just how it works. JMO

Be careful, you could be giving fodder to some guy to say that this is why women only like bad boys...
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 83
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/27/2011 2:57:04 PM

Be careful, you could be giving fodder to some guy to say that this is why women only like bad boys...

Yeah, I know. I thought about that for a wee second. Feeding those stereo-types is a constant battle in here. I wonder if it'll ever sink in: we like what we like and no two of us are the same. ***shrug*** probably not!!
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 84
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Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/27/2011 3:31:04 PM

I'd likely be the one in the study that picked the polar opposite of all those in agreement. I agree with very few women on celebrities found to be exceptionally attractive. I'd take Andy Garcia over Tom Cruise/Brad Pitt any day.


actually, you would probably choose the same faces if you were a subject in the study. one of the results found that the people chosen as "most attractive" had symmetry to their facial features, not that they were necessarily "beautiful".

if you were to measure facial symmetry in the 3 actors you named, you'd probably find that they all have the same balance. it has more to do with bone structure than the overlay of features.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 85
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 1/31/2011 11:20:54 PM
the discovery channel had one on 'attraction'
random approach on the street,
Picture of a guy, what do you rate him as 1-10 No additional information

Then they added the information of job and income........ suddenly Mr '2' is now in 7 or 8 territory.

good times.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 86
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/1/2011 9:42:26 AM
^^^You forgot to mention what type of women they selected - obviously it wasn't a good cross section of women if they were all after money to the point that they didn't care what someone looked like.

Good attempt at a broad (pardon the pun) stroke, though.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 87
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/1/2011 7:43:10 PM
My overall point is if we go strictly on looks, no details or mannerisms etc....we all pretty much agree on beauty. The more you notice intricacies in others the more it tips the scale one way or another for each of us!

So I may find someone MORE attractive based on personality and interests while another may find them LESS attractive based on the exact same things.... if we both had just seen a picture and not known them we probably would agree where they rated 1-10.

Although I and many others tend to assign personality to even that based on their look...that can skew things!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 88
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/1/2011 7:57:09 PM

if we both had just seen a picture and not known them we probably would agree where they rated 1-10.

I dunno. If I rated 50 pictures and then rated the same 50 pictures again, I doubt I'd agree myself, except for seperating everyone roughly into the same two groups - women I find attractive and women I don't find attractive.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 89
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/1/2011 8:40:20 PM
^^^^^^ Fair enough, but in general we would put the same ones in the same category.....if we could keep ourselves from assigning personality to them.

I actually have made up a word for this a few years ago; PreComposiTyping ...PCT for short.
PCT'ing is when you go off on an imaginary tangent, making up the subjects life and personality based soley on looks. It can be a brief thought or you can get stupid with it!
I've often sat and drank with a friend or two, people watching and cracking each other up with this.... truth is though, we all do this for real too...pigeonhole people based on looks.
I get it all the time... everyone automatically assumes I'm a sports guy and know all about whatever game was just played...in reality I usually didn't even know there was a game.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 90
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/2/2011 11:50:41 AM
Okay, if you had the choice to date an ugly woman or a pretty woman, which one would you pick. Add to that the choice to date a woman that has cool ideas, is hip, and easy to get along, which one would you go out with.

Unfortunately a lot of very good looking women are also very insecure. But what is the other choice, a very secure woman that can also kick your butt and wants you to lick her boots. Nahhh.

I take the good looking, fun-loving insecure woman any time.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 91
view profile
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Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/2/2011 12:20:04 PM
I actually have made up a word for this a few years ago; PreComposiTyping ...PCT for short.
PCT'ing is when you go off on an imaginary tangent, making up the subjects life and personality based soley on looks. It can be a brief thought or you can get stupid with it!
I've often sat and drank with a friend or two, people watching and cracking each other up with this.... truth is though, we all do this for real too...pigeonhole people based on looks.


Novelists, street cops and street sales people do that every day in their work-a-day world, and they get to be very good at predicting behavior.

Street cops are the best at it (because of the danger they might face gives them a strong motivations to "pay attention"), followed by salespeople (whose commission checks reflect how well they "pigeonhole" (your word) people. A couple thousand hours a practice a year, every year, they do notice the commonalities by dress/"look"/stance/walk/gestures/hair style/shoes/smirk///////.

Police detectives have a saying "No how good looking the egg, if it smells bad, it is."

"imaginary tangents" most usually have some basis in reality, even if we are not aware of it. Zen, if you will.
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 92
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Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/2/2011 12:38:27 PM
Ailliss, hit it spot on: "In one word, "Charm". I also add charisma which charm is part of it.

Charm and charisma also works for women and men who might not be considered by beautiful, handsome, gorgious, pretty, sexy, etc. People are attracted to them like bugs are to a light bulb.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 93
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/2/2011 1:45:09 PM

Unfortunately a lot of very good looking women are also very insecure. But what is the other choice, a very secure woman that can also kick your butt and wants you to lick her boots. Nahhh.

I take the good looking, fun-loving insecure woman any time.

Sheesh - can't there be a third choice here?

I guess it's just me - if I had those same two choices in a good looking guy, I might just call it a day and choose neither.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 94
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/2/2011 2:43:40 PM
People keep talking about this 'study'. It's amazing how there seem to be statistics out the wazoo but I've NEVER met any one who's been included in one.
Any way.... The OP wasn't talking about a 'study'. It was real live people!

So I stand by my previous statement!
\/ \/ \/ \/
First off beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Just because YOU call them beautiful, doesn't mean they ARE.
Just because YOU say the men are nothing special, doesn't mean they AREN'T!!
Second...It's called personality and/or attitude.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 95
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/2/2011 8:14:14 PM

People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.

Salma Hayek


I posted this quote on my facebook and got a few likes, but thought this fit this thread...

I like beautiful women, or at least what is beauty to me, If I'm not attracted I'm not perusing period....they are considered friends...in saying that I don't have a double standard...I'm not going to be offended if a woman's feelings isn't mutual.

We as humans like what we like...and I also agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder...I've chatted with some women that most would consider "out of my league" but I don't believe in leagues....Also I stay positive about it...if they are not interested due to being in a relationship another woman friend will see her talk to me and wonder why she's talking to me and pursue interest off of that...endless cycle...
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 96
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/2/2011 8:29:42 PM

Sheesh - can't there be a third choice here?

I guess it's just me - if I had those same two choices in a good looking guy, I might just call it a day and choose neither.


Actually, if this were a real life question there should be several choices.
No, it's not just you, I would choose either one myself.



I like a bit of substance myself,things in common, maturity, commonsense and sense of humour.


Agreed. Add to that -depth: compassion, integrity, intelligence and grit, et al.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 97
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/4/2011 2:06:20 PM

Sheesh - can't there be a third choice here?


There are tons of choices. There are low maintenance and high maintenance.

In the end I do have one criteria. Take care of yourself. To me the women that do not try to take care of themselves are the ones that end up looking inside and outside ugly. Yet I've seen many women that because they take care of their inner self, the project sexiness and beauty. They may not be prefect, but it doesn't matter. At that other extreme of that spectrum are the women that the only value they have is beauty. They use beauty to control. They cannot be with other females that are also alpha females. They become very aggressive and destructive towards other women trying to compete with them.
 Hench4Life
Joined: 12/18/2010
Msg: 98
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/4/2011 3:15:17 PM

I have lived a while and have dated a lot. One phenomenon I've observed is a man who seems to gravitate toward beautiful women and has a string of them on his belt like so many trophies.
These men have male friends, but women seem to be drawn to them. They aren't particularly handsome, many are balding and have flaws....but women seem drawn to them. What's up with that?


I had this guy friend who was by no means "hot", or whatever it is women would call a guy. I use to call him the 'Nordic Seinfeld', because he was blond but looked kind of like Jerry Seinfeld. He had no money... Was a total cheap ass... Had no decent job... And wasn't exactly the brightest bulb. We'd see this guy get girls like he was the last guy on earth. I numerous times watched him walk up to women that were very attractive, and he'd make some dumb comment. The girls would laugh at him. I don't mean, laugh like... Ha ha, you're cute... I mean laugh like... You're a total idiot. But I don't know if he was too dense to realize it or just didn't care... but he would just keep going and keep going... and eventually, a lot of girls would finally give in. I don't know what it is... Maybe it flatters them to have somebody try so hard? Meanwhile, we'd be looking at each other like... 'I don't believe this guy'. BTW... This same guy was supported by his full-time girlfriend for over a year while he didn't work, and he at one point took money she gave him to travel to his old town, where he then had sex with a girl he knew behind his girlfriend's back... most likely taking her out using the money his girlfriend gave him. So there's one for the ladies... Just because women like a guy, that means nothing. In fact, it often means you should run the opposite way.

Honestly... I think a lot of women are impressed by flattery. They'll say they're not, but they are. And I also think that, once a guy has a rep for women digging them, then that just adds to it. Because I think a lot of women thrive on competing for being the prettiest. So if they can be the one to get a guy that other women want, then that must mean they're the prettiest. So at some point, the actual quality of the guy is inconsequential.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 99
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/5/2011 6:51:35 PM
you could go the other way and date/ marry the ugly, old, fat, short, poor.....
They call it Hoggin.
And the notion is that if you get one, she wont cheat on you, because she is old, ugly, fat and short, and no other guy would fool around with her.......
sad thing is , in a military town, with way too much sausage in the market, she is indeed, getting the kielbasa when you are out on the boat. I dont know how many times I ahve seen it through the JAG office. Out to sea for nine months, come home to a wife that is four months preggers......
YOU could date the old, fat, ugly, short, and poor; It wont solve any of the fidelity issues.
 virVerus
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 100
Men Who Only Relate to Beautiful Women....
Posted: 2/8/2011 10:34:00 AM
Are these men tall? A lot of women seem to gravitate towards tall men, no matter if he's pale and ugly (instead of dark and handsome).

Even if a man's not tall and yet has beautiful women around him, success begets success. It's the same principle of the rich being able to mysteriously attract money and become richer.

To use a job analogy, most times someone working for low wages at McDonald's isn't all of a sudden going to become attractive to jobs paying 6 figures or more. Let's say a guy's in a nightclub and asks the least attractive female in the place to dance with him. If the more attractive women see him get shot down, they're not going to give him a shot either.
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