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 AUTHOR
 howard19651
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 51
Extramarital Affairs.Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
If History has taught us anything,it's the fact that many great men have had affairs. Howard Hughes,Ian Fleming and John Kennedy. I am writing about my life in a civil manner. If the subject of extramarital affairs "hurts" some other posters,perhaps they should just back out of the thread. It is far more mature and civil than launching personal attacks against the OP. be seeing you.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 52
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 10:36:52 AM
ah hahaha! so howard hughes, ian fleming, and JFK couldn't keep it in their pants, and that makes you a great man too. you left out lyndon johnson, john edwards, tiger woods, and joey buttafuco.


p.s. you don't get to have any say in who should or should not post to your thread. gosh that's too bad.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 10:47:27 AM
I think he needs to call his doc and ask that his meds be up'd.

There is a reason why he was banned from two other Forums.
I am sure it won't be long before he is banned from here.

Just sayin....
 Gashlycrumb_Briny
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 54
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 10:56:40 AM

I have always found it interesting that adults cannot have a mature and civil conversation about affairs. be seeing you.


Then the question in your original post was entirely disingenuous. You've obviously had this discussion before, and are aware that some people will disagree with you. If you were genuinely interested in having a 'mature and civil' conversation, you would have acknowledged this point and provided some justification or refutation. At the very least, some evidence of self-reflection, or consideration of the effects your actions had on others. But all you've got so far is 'everyone else is doin' it!' plus 'it felt real good!'
 FranklinLA
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 55
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 11:09:11 AM
ITT: People who can't be real, and criticizing OP for being real.

People have affairs all the time. It doesn't matter who commits the adultery, Husband or Wife, it happens. There's no point in hating on the guy/girl they cheat with, and there's no point in blaming your spouse for seeking extramarital affairs. You have to blame yourself for letting it get to that point.


If you're a man and you don't want you wife straying, then give her what she wants. Compliment her on a daily basis, let her know she's special to you, write little notes, poems, random texts saying you're thinking about her, tell her you love her. Go on dates, just the two of you, dancing, walking on the beach, dinner, etc... Show her she's different than anybody else on this planet and worth being with,...

If you're a woman, don't get fat, don't stop shaving your legs, don't cut your hair short, stop your nagging, stop telling men what to do. Ask him to do things, in a respectable manner, don't demand it. Men are visual creatures, so stay physically attractive. We all understand we all get old, wrinkly, skin starts to sag, we get it but do the best you can... put some effort into it.

Geez, it ain't that hard.

OP, keep doing what you're doing because it is the way it is. I had a friend who only dated women in relationships, and he asked me for advice one time. I gave him this advice:

This person you're with is going to have an affair regardless of who it's with, it just happens to be you. Be grateful that it's you, because you know you're STD-free , you're not a crazy/stalking-type, and you're not looking to ruin this relationship. It's better you than someone else who might have an STD or is the crazy stalker type...

tl;dr Women cheat because they don't feel special. Men cheat because they're not respected by their woman, or not sexually attracted to them. It's not the person's fault they on with, it's a relationship problem.

Keep doing what you're doing OP.
Be seeing all you, f*ck you guys... Lol jk :P
Love you xoxo
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 56
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 11:12:43 AM
^^^Very true Gashly. Which is why a lot of the OP's simply refute their answers or refrain from answering and the topic stays on the floor.
Original OP:
How do people really feel about extramarital affairs?


Question has been answered. Discussion on an issue involves neutral volley. I agree with Rush that this has been a topic of discussion rather just getting slammed from the forumites. This is as civil as it gets in here on said topic.
If you can't accept that others have opinions, simply don't post. Otherwise, there's no purpose in posting except to hear yourself so to speak.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 57
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 11:12:57 AM

If History has taught us anything,it's the fact that many great men have had affairs. Howard Hughes,Ian Fleming and John Kennedy.[quote/]
Oh so you're going to be famous? Oh pick me next, pick me, pick me.... lol...NOT



I am writing about my life in a civil manner.[quote/]
Civil or just completely ignorant? Hmmmm


If the subject of extramarital affairs "hurts" some other posters,perhaps they should just back out of the thread. [quote/]
True, however, YOU asked a question. Were only people who see things YOUR way supposed to comment? Hahaha I doubt that will ever happen!


It is far more mature and civil than launching personal attacks against the OP. be seeing you.[quote/]
Oh honey you've got a lot to learn about the forums if you think the responses so far have been a personal attack! That's a fact.
And I don't understand how you can rationalize your self as mature? What a joke, I mean really now, you have n0t much in the way of ethical or moral values. HOW is that mature?

Be seeing you.
 FranklinLA
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 58
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 11:30:09 AM
Also knowing that people have affairs should keep you on your 'A'-game...

That means you should accept that it's always possible to have an affair, and how easy it is, and so you should put the effort into your spouse so that they have no need to seek extramarital affairs. I don't look down on people who have affairs, or people who only get with people in relationships, I like knowing that people like OP exist.

It keeps me on my toes. That keeps me working hard at a relationship, that keeps me expressing my emotions, that keeps me admitting and accepting my flaws and looking to change them,... It let's me know that I always have to be on my 'A'-game, and it lets me know that the person I'm with is worth being faithful to... Thanks OP :)

Cheers OP, you be you. I'll be me. And we'll be seeing each other :P

Rather than being , , , or to OP, view this thread and be more like and to your significant other... obviously when you get one and are off this site Obviously I'm in the same boat, but I ain't hatin'
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 59
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 11:37:50 AM

If History has taught us anything,it's the fact that many great men have had affairs. Howard Hughes,Ian Fleming and John Kennedy. I am writing about my life in a civil manner. If the subject of extramarital affairs "hurts" some other posters,perhaps they should just back out of the thread. It is far more mature and civil than launching personal attacks against the OP. be seeing you.
Well Howard, two hundred years from now history will be talking about Ian Fleming, John Kennedy and Mr Hughes, they will not be talking about Howard19651 from Plenty of fish, the only Howard history will be talking about is Howard Hughes and Howard the Duck.

Nobody really gives a rats ass about your affairs with married women, or do you not understand that? if you want to discuss Extra Marital affairs that's okay.

I was going to say I lead my team in scoring in hockey, doesn't mean the NHL scouts are calling?
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 60
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 11:54:30 AM
^^^Hockey's great. And now we all know where the user name Iceman comes from.
Have fun with the hockey!
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 11:59:23 AM
Howard, surely to God you are not going to resort to "well if JFK and Ian Fleming thinks it's ok, then that's good enough for me" If Ian Fleming jumped off a bridge would you join him? That's what I say to my kids when they use those kind of BS examples.
Rumor has it that Catherine the Great liked her some horse weiner, but it sure does not make me want to try it.

So let's have a mature civil discussion.
Did you ever discuss with these ladies the risks involved?
Did you ever feel guilty?
Were you ever afraid of getting your ass kicked by an angry husband?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 12:00:54 PM

now we all know where the user name Iceman comes from


I had hoped he was an international spy with a licence to kill
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 63
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 12:22:10 PM
Oh hell yes, lets' discuss affairs. Why don't we include discussing any murders we may have done, any banks we have robbed? Anybody up for discussing child molestation, because in the real world it does happen???
OP, I have just one question-
What the HELL is the matter with you?
Cindy O
 FranklinLA
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 64
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 12:30:48 PM
When the hell did having extramarital affairs equate to:
- robbing banks
- child molestation
- murder

Damn... you got to prioritize your offenses. There's a gray-scale to it, it ain't just black and white, there's in-betweens...

:P
 ThatGuy1082
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 65
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 12:38:37 PM
Obviously you have no respect for anyone's marriage. You could have taken the high road and said to them that you wouldn't want to be the one who was responsible for their divorces, or responsible for adding to their marrital problems. But you didn't. I suppose someday when you meet someone and want to settle down, she may ask you about these things. What will you say? Will you have affairs when you do get serious with someone? Plus, you just tagged yourself in case you were wondering. Published your past for everyone to see too. But hey, it's your life...
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 66
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:00:33 PM
Choose one from the following:

Combination A: I think what you did was wonderful, you big stud.

Combination B: You sir, are an attention seeking troll.

Combination C: Be seeing you ace.

All orders come with green tea and fortune cookies.
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:01:41 PM

Also knowing that people have affairs should keep you on your 'A'-game...

That means you should accept that it's always possible to have an affair, and how easy it is, and so you should put the effort into your spouse so that they have no need to seek extramarital affairs. I don't look down on people who have affairs, or people who only get with people in relationships, I like knowing that people like OP exist.

It keeps me on my toes. That keeps me working hard at a relationship, that keeps me expressing my emotions, that keeps me admitting and accepting my flaws and looking to change them,... It let's me know that I always have to be on my 'A'-game, and it lets me know that the person I'm with is worth being faithful to... Thanks OP :)


While the spouse may not have been doing something to keep the other interested it is still up to the cheating spouse to communicate their disappointment and look to other answers such as leaving. Being mature doesn't mean that you can just blame it on your spouse and do whatever you want to.
 FranklinLA
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 68
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:09:32 PM

Being mature doesn't mean that you can just blame it on your spouse and do whatever you want to.

- Nobody said that, but I do agree with everything you posted. Granted in a perfect world everyone would communicate but this isn't a perfect world. You can only do your best. My best is anticipating that this might occur and so I do what I can. You can't wait on spouse to communicate their problems, or be mature enough to discuss them, you can only try your best from the beginning and nip it in the bud, by not letting the 'romance die' so to speak.

- Leaving is no better an option than having an affair - it's still avoiding the problem (whoever the blame belongs to).
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:12:22 PM

Combination A: I think what you did was wonderful, you big stud.

Combination B: You sir, are an attention seeking troll.

Combination C: Be seeing you ace.

All orders come with green tea and fortune cookies.


What..no rice?

I had an affair with rice once..I think James Bond did to. We have something in common, 007 and I. Ain't I cool..or what?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 70
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:18:50 PM

I am not bragging about the 2 affairs I had. I am writing about things that have happened to me in my life. As I said before,affairs are a fact of life. As adults,we should be able to talk about them in a civil manner. be seeing you

Well, I think most everyone here has figured out that affairs happen. Whether or not you choose to be a participant in an affair depends on your personal sense of ethics. That's not startling news to anyone, either. What's your point?
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 71
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:22:25 PM
Anyone who has an affair or who cheats with someone who is in a relationship is a moral-less piece of trash. I don't give a rat's behind what famous people have cheated on their spouses, IT STILL DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT! Who the heck do you think you are to have the right to endanger, yes endanger, someone's life? You see, if someone believes themselves to be in a committed relationship, and so have sex without a condom, then their SO goes out and has sex with someone else, their partner has potentially been exposed to any number of diseases, some of which can kill. Do you honestly think you're so high and mighty that you have the right to potentially pass something on that could kill someone else?!

Saying that "people cheat" is completely wrong. SOME people cheat, but not all people. I have never cheated on any man I've been with, and never would. You see, my moral compass dictates that kind of deception as unacceptable. I was raised to have INTEGRITY....something you obviously know nothing about. There are many of us who believe in sticking to our promises and in the Golden Rule.

Saying that an affair between two consenting adults is good and harmless just shows your complete ignorance and narcissim. Try telling that to the person's SO or their children when you've split up their parents. I'm sure they wouldn't see it as having done no harm. Karma is a b*tch, and one day, she'll come back and kick your a$$ one day.

Oh, and Franklin, to lay blame for an affair on the person who was cheated on, just shows YOUR ignorance. Some people cheat just because they think they can, not because of anything their partner has done. Personally, I believe anyone who cheats on their SO or who cheats with someone who is in a relationship has an inherently narcissistic personality in thinking they are above the social "rules" that apply to everyone else. It's not that difficult: if you make a commitment to someone, STICK TO IT. There is NEVER a justification for cheating, EVER.
 howard19651
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 72
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:24:29 PM
In the interest of full disclosure,I never felt guilty about either affair. There are far greater sins commited by man than the "sin" of having an affair. And imo,what 2 consenting adults do should be between them. be seeing you.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 73
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:34:00 PM
And imo,what 2 consenting adults do should be between them.
Where your "logic" is flawed, however, is that you are ignoring the fact there is a THIRD PERSON here who is NOT CONSENTING to a sexual relationship with someone who is having sex with multiple people.

My ex decided he wanted to explore a poly-amourous lifestyle. Instead of talking to me about it (because he knew I wouldn't consent to being in that kind of a relationship), he decided to go off and explore it on his own. He started sleeping with a woman who was dating FOUR other men! This means he knowingly exposed me to any number of diseases his whore may have passed on to him. Anyone who cheats is an extremely SELFISH person. To think that you should have the right to engage in an open relationship without your partner's consent is ignorant. EVERYONE has the right to choose what type of sexual relationships they have. If someone CHOOSES a monogamous relationship, NO ONE has the right to take that choice away from them.

There are far greater sins commited by man than the "sin" of having an affair.
Just because there are "sins" you consider to be worse than having an affair STILL doesn't make it right. That's like saying rape is okay because murder is worse.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 74
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:35:41 PM
Cheating in itself is disgusting.

Being in a purely sexual thing, in my opinion, cannot even be considered a relationship. Its just sex.

Also, be seeing you is creepy... please stop.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 75
Extramarital Affairs.
Posted: 2/11/2011 1:37:01 PM
In the interest of full disclosure,I never felt guilty about either affair. There are far greater sins commited by man than the "sin" of having an affair. And imo,what 2 consenting adults do should be between them. be seeing you.


^^Not that I'm jumping on the bandwagon here, but you really have no room to downplay adultery. It is what it is; a sin.

The affair may be between two people, but one party is married. Thus, there are other parties that are "involved" in an indirect way.................spouse and family.
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