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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 18
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Men and women want to be seen for what they have "on the inside"; however, the same men and women prefer good-looking partners.

I can't tell you how many men have told me in initial emails that I am pretty and/or sexy, and when I tell them that they aren't, then they retort with "You are a shallow ****." So, they are allowed to approach me because they think that I am attractive but I am a shallow **** for wanting the same?

Shrug.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 2/21/2011 3:22:20 PM
^^^I will say something similar, and it's honesty. My response is "thanks, I wish I could say the same." And it's true, I do....whether I don't find them attractive or plain don't know what they look like, I truly wish I was in the same boat.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 20
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 2/21/2011 3:34:16 PM
I want to be attracted to my mate. What person picks up the person they are least attracted to at a party?

Anyhoo. I never wrote to men who wanted something I wasn't based on how he looked. I had to like the pics and the profile and ensure that I wasn't wasting his time writing. I liked to receive the same consideration, but we all know how that works LOL.

I respect men who say what they want in their profile and stick to it. Nothing worse than going on a date and finding out he wasn't really into the stuff he wrote on his profile.

I have no issues with people who have preferences. Why does it bother you if some stranger on the internet doesn't want you?


<div class="quote">Who cares why the things are the way they are. Who cares that double standards exist. You won't be able to change them anyways so why not abide by them?

I said that when I first started on these forums. The people that whine the most on here tend to be those who won't change either. If something bothers me that much, I try to find ways in my control to change it that will make me adjust easier and be happier.

I also have always believed that most of us do certain things because we are a woman/man. Letting things go and accepting some of it makes things easier.

The majority of people need to learn how to take rejection because most do not. Instead of using it as possible learning experience or just chalking it up to nothing, it becomes some huge issue. All that from one or two dates or email rejections based on your looks or not clicking. There are worse reasons to be rejected and worse things that can happen to you.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 22
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 2/25/2011 1:57:15 PM
I really think you are over thinking it. I might in my mind have a fantasy of what I think a perfect man is, but it is also something that can change once I meet someone and get to know them better. Sometimes someone that seemed so far removed from what I want could after knowing them come to be exactly what I was looking for all along.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 23
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History
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 3/8/2011 7:18:24 PM
Double standards much?

While I was accused of being "picky", by many women, even on here. My selectivity made my woman feel extra special .

I mean, c'mon guys. How would you feel if a woman told ya that the only reason she chose you was because you're the first of a couple dozen guys that responded? But at any moment, she could receive that better message from a better guy!

I do, however, think there is a fundamental difference between men and womens' perspective. While men are often more interested in the easy catches. Women are often more interested in the not-so-easy catches. But, in both cases, when they feel snubbed because they've been deemed lacking, in meeting the others requirements. Then the object of their interest MUST be too picky!
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 24
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 3/13/2011 9:53:28 PM
Look into any of the nice guy, fat woman, don't write threads and you'll see exactly what you're referring to. Feel better now?
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 25
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 3/15/2011 11:13:17 PM
Just one question: What the hell difference does it make? If you've been ruled out, you're out. Just exactly like when you rule someone else out, for whatever reason. The times in my life when I've overruled my gut on the question of "do I want this person in my life" -- I've been dead wrong, and they've worked very hard to make me sorry I second guessed myself. For those who ARE picky, they're their own worst enemy, and YOU can't save them. *EVERYONE* man woman child boy girl baby grandmother ax murderer has this "syndrome." Why on earth sweat it?

In my humble view, 'tis better to spend your time to seek after the ones whom you'll be able to love, and whom will be able to love you. Just takes ONE.

 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 26
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 3/16/2011 4:50:50 PM

For those who ARE picky, they're their own worst enemy, and YOU can't save them. *EVERYONE* man woman child boy girl baby grandmother ax murderer has this "syndrome." Why on earth sweat it?

In my humble view, 'tis better to spend your time to seek after the ones whom you'll be able to love, and whom will be able to love you. Just takes ONE.

That is a good thing to think and hold to in a vacuum. I like the message on the whole still with the way things are these days. You can't leave it at that in all cases.

Everybody is encouraged to go with their gut. What if somebody's irrational gut says that Wooby is a child sex pervert and intends to do something about it. In these days of anonymous hotlines and exhaustive databases, it could be a very long time before such an accusation came to light. You might be going for a new job and some Google search turns it up. What can you say then? It is just some unknown person's syndrome doesn't cut it

It may be the wrong approach to the issue but in line with the thought that giving access to hand guns to children would be irresponsible... it is equally irresponsible to give free reign to the picky because they can do so much irreversible damage not just by their own actions but also my goading others to detrimental action. It would be different if they could do no harm but they can and are spoiling to.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 27
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 3/16/2011 9:59:37 PM
A lot of hot air in this thread.


Can.....hardly.......breathe
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 28
I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.
Posted: 3/17/2011 7:49:55 AM
People want to date people that they also have an urge to kiss.

It is better to be rejected then to be lead on only to find out later that they dont want to kiss you.

That is the bottom line. Anyone who settles for someone they dont want to kiss, has the problem.

Just because we dont all find the same people kissable does not make us bad people, you cannot force attraction, or control who you will have it with.

Online is purely visual, if you cannot snag 'em with a visual, you wont get anywhere here.

If you want someone to be attracted to you for the other aspects of what you offer, then get out there and meet real people offline. That is where you can attract and entice based on how you chuckle, the the way your eyes crinkle all cute when you smile, the way your bum fits just so right in your jeans....we cannot see those things online unless you do up a really well done profile to showcase those things that can attract.

Personally, I have a few male buddies also on here, and they have horrible profiles and always complain about the lack of interest. I have told them repeatedly that based on thier profile alone, even I wouldnt contact them. I know they are good catches...but no one viewing them here would ever see that. Alot of men on here could use some work on thier pages.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I have preferences, but YOU'RE superficial.