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 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 346
What stops a man from cheating?Page 17 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/experimentations/201708/what-stops-people-cheating-their-partners
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 347
What stops a man from cheating?
Posted: 11/20/2017 3:46:33 PM
I loved the movie "Up in the Air" for a variety of reasons. I only saw it b/c I was at a friend's house waiting for her car to be repaired and we had time to kill--I hadn't even known at the time what it was about, and usually I research a movie before catching it. My father used to fly out to Boeing every other week, so he became one of those road warriors (he had liked the movie "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" for that reason). Its wonderful when you know an experience well enough to know the insider tricks and not get proverbially run over and taken advantage of. And of course, there was that human feeling of wanting to be the person who walks into a bad situation, helps, and then can walk away rather than remain stuck on the short end of the stick. But, still, you have to have some humanity within you to realize what it is that you are doing to others. I think we all have been in a workplace, or come close, that was shedding jobs like a dog shedding water.

and then there was the substory about the wedding going on. some movies poorly handle subplots, but this one did it well. Personally, I thought the main character was going to return to his old job, but that he was on borrowed time and knew it...but had new lessons he had learned, and thus was more able to handle the change if it happened. Sometimes, we rest on our laurels, forgetting that all things change. Even when you are King of the Hill, it can erode away under you.

I don't think there's anything wrong specifically with liking risk takers. We're all drawn to the energized. Of course, we're all drawn to fire, too :)

Pluto, saying we are all responsible for our actions...is to admit to a double edged sword. It should be comforting to hear, that we aren't victims of fate, that we have some control over what happens to us. But, instead, some hear it as "blaming the victim". Maybe it depends upon the time we hear it--if we hear it after we got burned by the fire, we think its an accusation :)

LiR, interesting article, thanks. for some reason, it reminded me of a few wives who cheated soon before they divorced, as if they needed to confirm their attractiveness--after a husband who acted like they weren't--before risking leaving the situation and finding out they could do better.

"Again, women rated themselves as more likely to be able to resist infidelity than men."

I guess if women are looking for emotional contact rather than sexual contact, then a bunch of horny dudes trying to get into their pants is easier to resist :) But the women seeking something physical (For whatever reason), its easy enough to find...and if they don't find it, they still have someone to go home to.
 9Pluto
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 348
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What stops a man from cheating?
Posted: 11/20/2017 4:30:32 PM

Pluto, saying we are all responsible for our actions...is to admit to a double edged sword. It should be comforting to hear, that we aren't victims of fate, that we have some control over what happens to us. But, instead, some hear it as "blaming the victim". Maybe it depends upon the time we hear it--if we hear it after we got burned by the fire, we think its an accusation :)


Nodding my head in agreement with Mustang. .In the old days everyone understood what it meant when you said, "You made your bed, now lie in it." Psychologists have perverted this now to meaning "you are stuck in a dead end", and then earn their doctorates in psychology arguing how saying this makes people feel hopelessness, so we can't say it anymore.

Wow. This is contentious. In my interpretation, the principle conclusion of Lady in Red's article: To stop cheating on both sides keep making babies especially during the period the wife is 40-45 years old. Keeps the man committed in a young family and satisfies her end run of fertility, per article conclusion, regardless of morals, and fear of loneliness.

9
 BoardCodingRay
Joined: 11/10/2017
Msg: 349
What stops a man from cheating?
Posted: 12/12/2017 5:22:14 PM
Moral values and common sense? I'm a guy and I can say for sure that a guy that truly wants a good healthy relationship would keep it in his pants.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 350
What stops a man from cheating?
Posted: 12/13/2017 6:30:00 AM
In the old days, we accepted Fate, ie, that bed we made. We learned to make the best of what hand life dealt to us.
I guess in the 1970's, we decided that getting put on a track was bad, and that we should strive for equal beginnings for every life, so that everyone can end up happy.

As for making babies as a way to keep a marriage afloat, I know a couple who adopted two children from Columbia to do just that. But, it ended up I think, that pressure on the husband from their church to "Do the right thing", ended up "saving the day". At least the two children came out well--the son got his cleft palate fixed and is lead singer for his blues band, the daughter got her spine fixed and is married with a baby.

but I wouldn't promote it as a solution for everyone. Sometimes, divorce is the solution, b/c there is no way to solve the marriage but there is a way to make two people happier. and I agree about a fellow keeping it in his pants, I knew a few men who got great offers to cheat on the mother of their children...but respect for their partners overcame their biological need to spread seed.
 saintclara
Joined: 5/30/2017
Msg: 351
What stops a man from cheating?
Posted: 12/16/2017 4:12:37 PM
Death !these imbeciles need to be taken To a market or sold on ebay
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