Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 864
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?Page 37 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
Getting caught red handed proves that I 'm not going nuts, like they might be trying to convince me ;)

The motivation is vindictiveness for not fulfilling our impossible to figure out needs which are so very plain to us...that you should be able to read my mind, and "know" what I'm thinking without me having to tell you.

Right?


Very wrong.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 867
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 6/15/2013 8:56:43 AM
Efficacy of a medication, doesn't necessarily prove correlation between two disorders.

While Lithium helps tremendously with my bipolar, I mostly rely on CBT...and medication to help with BPD.BPD is ongoing every day. One single thought can take me from "normal" thinking to melancholy bordering on suicidal thinking. It's that fast.Bipolar isn't. It tends to build up.

I understand where the behaviour looks identical.

If the individual were questioned closely over time whichever disorder is at work would surface.

An oversimplified example: Two women....same general demographic present at an emergency room.

Specific questions are asked.....including questions about sexual activity.

Both women have had sex 4 times in 24 hours

On further questioning, one says that her libido is extremely high. and having sex numerous times a day keeps it at bay. She's bipolar.

The other woman on further questioning says that she had sex so often, because her boyfriend wanted to, and she loves him, so she did it. She's BPD.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 869
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 6/18/2013 5:46:42 PM
I agree with everything you said.

To further complicate things, whichever disorder is at play at the time of assessment SHOULD be the one diagnosed. If BP and BPD are running concurrently, it's a toss up which will be diagnosed first. I was diagnosed BP first, however, I believe I've been BPD for most of my life. I believe the BP came much later. When I was diagnosed with BPD, I didn't know what it was. I was quite familiar with BP when I was diagnosed with that. I believe that the truth is that BP is easier to identify than BPD.

The differences in thinking between BP, and BPD are actually quite large....for me anyway.

They should be kept separate, because they are separate. Even when running concurrently.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 870
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 6/21/2013 10:56:54 PM
I'm starting to think my last relationship was with someone who has borderline personality disorder. I'm still trying to figure out what happened.

When I was with him he was amazing, then he'd disappear for two weeks, then reappear. He was secretive and evasive about what he was up to in between. At times I wondered if he had another woman but I don't think so. I also suspect he's bipolar - he would go days without sleeping and then sleep for two days. He seemed reclusive, did not seem to have any real friends. It took a long time to figure out. In the end, I found out he was an ordained minister, something he had hid from me. It was crazy. I'm still trying to put together the pieces of this puzzle.

I supposed I should be grateful that it didn't go on longer than it did or that I didn't see him more often. I've never been with anyone who lied so much, it was unbelievable. It was very confusing. He always had these rationalizations and they'd sort of make sense but in the end, it was just plain nuts.

Bummer, because when he was "on" he was amazing.

I don't really understand exactly what is borderline personality disorder. I did think he was bipolar and also probably a bit obsessive-compulsive. I'd like to learn more about it.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 871
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 6/25/2013 12:59:26 AM
The "I love you, I hate you" thing certainly seems appropriate. It seems his life was littered with people that he idolized in some way and then they fell from grace, betrayed him. In his romantic life, it was women he loved and decided he wanted to marry, and then he'd find out they were unfaithful and he was shattered. In his church life, it seemed there were a couple of people he admired that then they fell from grace and he cut himself off from them, feeling betrayed.

I'm now probably another woman he loved who somehow did him wrong. It's hard to know what he'll make up about me, but I see a pattern and I'm sure he's found some awful role for me now. It's sad. I'm not certain he's Borderline, but that sure would help to make sense of a whole lot of stuff that just didn't make sense. I'm glad I found this thread. Even if it isn't true, it's helping me come up with a possible explanation for what happened.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 872
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 6/25/2013 4:45:36 AM
My own life with a BP diagnosed person, had as a central feature, that she blamed everything on other people all the time. Even when admitting to her condition, she would firmly declare that whatever was wrong in life at the moment, was due to the failures of others.

Our relationship came to an end, when she finally realized that she had come to blame ME for more than half of what she was frustrated with in her life. No doubt, the fact that I had to put less and less emotional confidence in what she demanded of me (after many years, I noticed that stories which used to star her father as the evil one, began to schedule me in his place), made things worse rather than better. I thought that remaining on an even keel myself would help her to stabilize around something reliable, but it just led her to conclude that I didn't care about her enough.

In any case, it appears that no matter what the diagnosis is, whether it is a powerful one like BP or BPD, or lesser things such as "He just doesn't try hard enough (under-achiever), as my ex describes me, whether a solution seems possible or nit depends upon the individual, and on the day to day circumstances. We are all, whether psychologically healthy or not, at the mercy of our own perceptions OF ourselves.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 873
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 6/25/2013 8:54:50 PM
Igor.....

I'm not going to comment on your ex's diagnosis.....however....

Even if BPD IS diagnosed......it doesn't mean the person GET's IT.

A large problem that people notice (I did it here a few pages ago) is odd or faulty communication skills....cognitions. Until this problem is corrected...even partially, you're basically talking to a wall.

I'm getting into advanced BPD here.....if an S/O is non-reactive......doesn't show a response, that can actually throw us into a panic.


Just before I was diagnosed with BPD, I was seeing a Psychologist, who gave me very little feedback. One day, I broke into tears in his office. It took a while, but I figured out that his lack of response was causing anxiety . A response is like a security blanket.



I just saw some lightbulbs light up....lol..
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 874
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 7/9/2013 5:43:36 PM
This is an interesting article, that describes BPD quite accurately.....


http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/borderline_personality_disorde.html


This is a look at the mechanics behind the disorder. The suicidal gestures, cutting, hallucinations,neuroses.....all very real to the BPD.

The scary part is, that we don't necessarily know that you don't have them too....
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 875
view profile
History
Have you ever dated someone with Borderline Personality?
Posted: 9/4/2014 1:00:28 AM
As fate would have it, I happened to meet that guy's last housemate and hear the epilogue. I was right about him painting me as another woman who did him wrong. And the housemate said he was a habitual liar. And he's moved out of state. So, that's the end of that story.

But good gosh and golly gee, I sure wish I could find another lover like that. ;-) Not crazy like that, just a really good lover.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >