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 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 113
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Yes, I know. Thanks!

I've never paid for our dates including the first one. I have cooked him meals and oh I almost forgot, I think I did buy pizza once.

Of course before we became really serious I understood some of his weekends would be spent at his house 2 hours away with his kids. If my kids are with their dad then my SO still usually doesn't bring his kids over that weekend. Sometimes we can't go out on weekends because of either both his and mine or just my kids being here. And sometimes we choose quiet nights without going out even when the kids are with the other parent. I can't always travel with him because of my kids but he wanted a woman with kids too.

His ex is remarried and doesn't expect him to pay her bills.lol She lives 4 hrs away and he wouldn't do house repairs for her. The most he has done is taken his boys bikes so he could fix them and then given them back to be used at her house.

Just because one guy was still doing things for his ex wife and claiming to be broke doesn't mean they all are.

I preferred dating a man with kids and even luckier my SO and mine became instant friends when they met.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 114
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:52:44 PM

Im a single father to 3 wee girls and am starting to believe that might be the reason that I cant seem to get anywhere, do women see this as a turn off?
Yes... it is a turn off.

When I was much, much younger, I might not have minded dating a man with children, now that I'm older, I have no desire to become involved with a man that has children that are still dependent upon him.

I'm sure that there are women that wouldn't mind a ready made family... so all is not lost.
 SunnyBlueSkies23
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 119
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 9/21/2011 4:41:07 PM
I totally agree with 1 Bellanella. That's exactly what I'd want,too
 becca9185
Joined: 10/11/2010
Msg: 121
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 10/21/2011 12:51:25 AM
Personally I do not see having kids as a turn off, but that would be because I am a single mom. Because I have a child, most people would not even consider a relationship. Either way though, once you find the right person you will know.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 122
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 10/21/2011 5:51:29 PM
I have had bad experiences in this area. Sorry, for those still interested in this thread...

Things started out ok. Once even a teacher with a child of her own. But, something happens that I cannot explain. The worst experience came after we moved in together. She just stopped speaking to my daughter. Would not even acknowledge her existence. It was devastating. Her own child was the 'super star' but mine didn't count. Another turned into the, "IF she were my child I would never let her get away with that and discipline!!!" I'm like WTF???? I have had two promising relationships end because of my daughter. I am very much not all, "ooooooo look at my child, look, bask in her glow...." However, she is pretty cool and really wants a job and college and a career. Has never once even come close to be deserving of that terrible behavior. She even liked them too.

The worst part is that it came after... I don't know... after they realized that they didn't have that special mother daughter relationship or whatever it was they didn't grow up with... It sucks and I hate that I brought that crap into our life.

So, will they date, yes. Do they want to, maybe. Does that add a whole level of complication, yes. Why am I trying again? Hoping to meet someone that doesn't suck?
 searchin76
Joined: 4/25/2010
Msg: 123
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 10/23/2011 11:53:29 AM
I have the same feeling...i have full custody of my 3 yr old son and it seems like women dont wanna date or even a relationship with a man with kids
 dragonpat
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 124
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 10/24/2011 10:52:24 PM
I have been told many times "I am sorry, I am not ready for an instant family." so No I dont think women want to date men with kids.
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 132
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 10/26/2011 10:56:58 PM
A very rare man indeed.

One of my very best friends' husband died in his sleep a few years ago. They had 4 BOYS. Ages 13, 11, 10, and 2. Vicki was 31. Courtney was 35. When Court died we were all freaked out about how she was going to manage. About 18 months after Court died, one of his friends, James, asked Vicki out. They've been together ever since. He took on 4 traumatized boys and their widowed mother and loves them all as if they were his own. He even told Vicki he had no desire for his own kids that he was happy raising her and Courntey's as his own.

Not many awesome dudes out there like James.
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 133
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 10/27/2011 12:26:50 PM
He even told Vicki he had no desire for his own kids that he was happy raising her and Courntey's as his own.

Not many awesome dudes out there like James.


Am I reading this right?
James could care less for his own kids, but is happy to raise Vicki's kids? You think that's awesome?
(help me out here)
 OMGyaa
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 135
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 10/27/2011 4:28:45 PM
Ice queen - Although I mainly agree with your assessment pointing that out also says something of you . Lets keep the personal attacks out of it please .
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 136
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 10/27/2011 4:32:05 PM

Ice queen - Although I mainly agree with your assessment pointing that out also says something of you . Lets keep the personal attacks out of it please .


I see Im not the only one who has noticed. Dont know her, seems she can have some valid points, but it can be done without the personal attacks on. every. reply. to him.
 kawasakiprincess
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 141
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 2/14/2012 7:54:32 PM
some do some dont i wont but hey thats just me call me selfish least i know what i can cannot handle women dont wanna feel 2nd to someone esp a kid thats not theirs and i know all you single parents will probably have something smart to say but its the truth! people our age do not wanna have a relationship with a a man that cant just get up and go whenever he pleases being a single parent isnt bad matter of fact i was thinking one day when im ready when i have a kid i may not even want a father for my kids sperm doner gimmie my kid and be done with it i dont have time for bullshit and drama and before anyone says anything remember you are single parents... and i will be just that.. as well and i rather have my kid because i know i want him or her and not have it with someone thats just gonna bail or cause me stress for the rest of my life they are your ex for a reason i do not want or need a reason to see them any more point blank take it how you want too happy valentines day to all the single parents keep up the good work one day i hope i will have a little one as well
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 145
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 2/17/2012 11:08:33 PM

Depends on the girl. Some women love children, and want children of their own. Some women don't want kids at all, and feel uncomfortable around them.


That's a large part of my experience. And even amongst those who love children, there are subsets. Some ladies with children feel uncomfortable dating men with children because they think their children will always be second class. Some ladies without children of their own - either yet or permanently because of medical reasons - love kids and will have no problem loving yours. It is very much dependent upon the individual.
 kawasakiprincess
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 150
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/4/2012 10:46:51 AM
her loss? attraction has nothing to do with if somoene is gonna b happy in a relationship or not.... if she not gonna be happy to be with a man because he has a kid its no ones lost... she just knew what she wanted and that wasnt it...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 151
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/4/2012 10:54:25 AM
^^^Agreed. In the case of dating, someone saying no thanks is no one's loss. The person who doesn't want it won't miss it, and the person who didn't get picked is better off with someone who will pick them.

If you ask me, it's more of a win (win). : )
 Electric_Rainbows
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 152
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/4/2012 2:00:36 PM
Personally I wouldnt date a man with children because I am still not at that stage in my life and that kind of responisbility is a bit too much for me at this time, jumping right into a step mom role is quite intimdating, especially with three however I find it charming that you are such a great dad and seem devoted to your children. There are woman that would find that attractive and be responsible enough to handle that in thier life. My mom has 4 kids, and she found a single man with no kids that found the package deal quite convient, instant family life, and has been enjoying it, I suggest maybe inculde pictures of you having fun with your girls and incule a blurb about them, children are a big and positive thing in your life, so embrace it and don't give up, because your dream lady is out there hun.
 kawasakiprincess
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 153
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/4/2012 5:43:51 PM
@ women in progress thank you its def win win why pretend to be ok with something when your not i mean seriously i dont date men with kids either @luvrevolver and i do agree i admire a man that is involved with his kids but sorry.... im not in that stage prob never will but im honest people cAN judge all they want they are not the ones living MY life
 warminsterlass
Joined: 8/22/2010
Msg: 154
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/7/2012 1:38:52 AM
What puts me off when a man has a child is not the child but the Ex I have dated a few guys with kids and with each the issue has been the ex . If a man is friends with a ex that's cool but 9 times out of 10 they hate each other and your stuck in the middle of a war

Or worse still he's at her beck n call coz he's too scared of her to stand up for himself , n you have no time for just you n him without a small child with you

Then you have the Csa issue if they work .. Ok if there debt free bad if there not as that's all there ££ gone

So if I was to ever date a single dad again he wud have to b the main Carer n have family around him that help pref the mother not being involved at all or seeing the child at weekends
 ExoticSoulMateKindaGal
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 156
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/13/2012 5:34:21 AM
Hell NO! At the end of the day, your littlies deserve to be treated with respect, love and acceptance. There are many women who r happy to "blend" into a package deal such as yours. It takes a bit of patience, steely heart and plenty of optimism to find that right person. At the end of the day, imagine if you were involved with someone who couldn't fully accept your girls?
Just beware, you may need to also accept that your special person might have children of their own. But hey, if the brady bunch could do it............
 ExoticSoulMateKindaGal
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 160
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/14/2012 4:11:06 AM
You r so correct in regards to the double standards........... "what's good for the goose is good for the gander"? LOL. Women seem to forget that men experience the same vunerabilities as women. The quest for love should be based on compatibility and being able to compliment each other in all aspects. If there is full trust, love and desire, the aspect of money, social status and all the other stuff would be secondary.
 lonelyguy6908
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 161
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/25/2012 8:12:26 AM
im a single dad of a 4 year old son i raise on my own,,one problem is im 42 and hes 4 so its hard to find someone my age that will date me cause hes so young,,they say they have grandkids his age and dont wanna don it again,, so i have to look in to younger age group..i have dated single moms with kids when i was younger and didnt have a issue but its one for me now..lol help... thanks...
 athleticguymn
Joined: 5/14/2011
Msg: 162
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/25/2012 11:35:45 AM
Not sure how much time you have your kids, but being a single dad of 2 girls who live with me full time for 15 years now I'd say it definitely makes it a lot harder to date. I've had serious relationships over the years including living with a couple women, but in the end the kids always seemed to be an "issue" for them, even if they have kids themselves. Of the women who have met my girls only one ever warmed to them, even if I treated their kids(2) like mine.

Women want to be the center of your attention and your daughters will always be your #1 and most don't like that no matter what they say. Also, money (what a guy makes) is #1 on the list of what women are looking for in a relationship and since you have financial obligations to your 3 kids that will be issue too.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 169
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 3/30/2012 3:24:17 PM
why cant people stop using the fact they have kids as a reason they turn away. maybe its the person. stop trying to justify why they leave.
 me3111
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 178
Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 4/10/2012 11:07:32 AM
If they have a problem with u having kids or dont understand how much time u spend with them or something.......let them walk!! Your kids r going to be the most important thing in your life, for the rest of your life. You dont want to be with someone who doesnt get that :-)
 meand2grublets
Joined: 11/4/2007
Msg: 182
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Do Girls Wanna date a guy with kids?
Posted: 4/13/2012 1:17:47 PM
I also am in my mid 40s, with 2 young kids, i have come to the conclusion that most woman my vintage are certainly not interested in even talking to a man with young kids, i can understand it though, they have raised theirs and want to play catch ups on things they have missed out on when raising their kids, im certain they think im looking for a mother for them, but that is not the case i have been raising mine since they were in nappies, so i know what im doing.

I dont even contact anyone now as im sick of the abuse i get from woman.
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