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 icboobs
Joined: 6/11/2010
Msg: 44
Would you date a cancer survivor?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I am disabled, and have been for a long time, since I was 22 years old. My body is physically mangled and grotesque to look at, and I have had to adapt to a new life of physical limitations and pain. If there were two women that I was interested in, and one of them had cancer or was a cancer survivor, I would probably be more intrigued by her, since she might be able to relate to me better. Some disabilities are a real hinderance in a relationship, which is why I would be careful not to get involved with someone who was sick 99% of the time or anyone who was completely immobile, but I don't think many cancer survivors are.

If you read my profile, you will not see anything in there about my disability. That is because I don't want to scare anyone off. I won't get upset if the other person chooses to stop talking to me, once I reveal that I am disabled. I'm better off without them. I just do not want to do anything that limits my opportunities to establish new connections. As you can see, it would benefit me more to know that a woman was a cancer survivor than it would to include information that I'm disabled on my own profile. I hope that helps. Good luck!
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 45
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Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 6/19/2011 5:34:51 PM
Am a longtime cancer survivor myself, and not to be too cavalier about it, but treatment has become way more sophisticated, and if you catch it early, it's not necessarily the "death sentence" it once was. Anymore than diabetes, AIDS or any other disease has to be.

That said, it's a significant life experience, like marriage, having children, relocating, whatever, but it's not my "defining" feature. So I'll mention it at an appropriate time in the conversation, along with any other significant info. as we get to know each other.

But mostly, I notice how folks react. Have they experienced it in their own family, do they show a bit of empathy or curiosity, are they uncomfortable with it... or is it just a break from talking all about "them"?!
 marrkie
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 46
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Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 6/19/2011 8:13:43 PM
Glad your cancer free :-) Brain Tumor here...not something I post, but will tell someone if there is the possibility of a relationship. My reasoning... while going through treatment I would joke about having one...it's how I coped, but it freaked others out...most people do not do well with illness, and if its cancer - double whammy, having said that people cant make decisions if they dont have all the information,i.e. seriously date someone who had or has a medical issue,which is why I would tell someone when I actually start dating them. I do have a question...why do you want to post this information ?
M
 jaturner
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 47
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 6/20/2011 6:02:15 PM
from one cancer survivor to another, Be proud of the fight you fought. do not remove it from your profile unless you want to. I did not post that I was a survivor only because I had breast cancer and not wanting to answer the question of weather or not they were still real or there? But it is one of the first things I tell about myself when a member contacts me. You would be surprised how many guys never respond again. That being said any woman who uses that as an excuse to not keep in contact with you, just wasnt that into you to start with. So dont let it be an issue that stops progress. good luck to you. btw yes I would definatly date a cancer survivor.
jody
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 48
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Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 6/20/2011 6:38:03 PM
No offense, but folks don't all approach experiencing cancer in the same way. And even for the ones who see it as a "fight.... well, heart disease is a "fight", and so's diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, and any number of other long-term health "challenges". But unless it directly impacts my ability to have a relationship with someone, or I'm seeking "special treatment", then I see little reason to include it in my profile, at least until we've had a chance to get to know each other a little better. Any more than I expect someone to disclose all their "ex-es", car wrecks, or tattoos so early on (well, OK, maybe I wanna know about all the tats... LOL)!
 italsmile
Joined: 3/20/2011
Msg: 49
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 7/25/2011 10:00:16 AM
hi,

i have non-hodgkins lymphoma, should be strait 8 cycle chemo and i'm done, had it in 1 spot...in terms of my dating life its quite boring as i'm sure i've been rejected most part because i revieled i have cancer and that i'm wearing a wig most of the time, well now its summer and i have to be on scarves its too hot...i'm depressed cuz i'm super lonely...not sure if i should continue dating...hope you can reply thanks :)
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 50
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 7/25/2011 12:37:12 PM

i'm wearing a wig most of the time, well now its summer and i have to be on scarves its too hot...i'm depressed cuz i'm super lonely.


When my ex went through chemo she lost her hair too. She felt ugly with no hair anywhere. I bought her a wig and she also had some short ones and long ones. She liked to wear the different wigs when we made love. Still, I told her that I liked her best when she was bawl, it was her at her best. It made her feel better.

I think she had a harder time when her hair first came out and it makes it difficult to wear the wigs.

So hang in there. There are people that will love you bawl and with cancer.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 51
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Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 7/25/2011 12:38:58 PM

hi,

i have non-hodgkins lymphoma, should be strait 8 cycle chemo and i'm done, had it in 1 spot...in terms of my dating life its quite boring as i'm sure i've been rejected most part because i revieled i have cancer and that i'm wearing a wig most of the time, well now its summer and i have to be on scarves its too hot...i'm depressed cuz i'm super lonely...not sure if i should continue dating...hope you can reply thanks :)

I too am an NHL survivor. I would e-mail you privately but your mail restrictions prohibit me from doing so.

Just because you have experienced cancer does not mean that you give up and no longer live your life as you wish to. As with the cancer treatment, life will have it's trials and tribulations but it seems to me if you have survived your basic 8 cycles of chemo, then you can face head on anything that life throws you. E-mail me if you wish to discuss this further. Good luck and keep you chin up.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 52
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 7/25/2011 1:34:48 PM
Depends on how much she is willing to lend me.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 53
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 7/25/2011 4:28:06 PM
I would definitely date a female cancer survivor. As long as she's not smoking a cancer stick it's all good with me.
 AxMurderer
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 54
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 7/25/2011 6:37:54 PM
Personally, I would date a cancer survivor as much as I would a non-cancer survivor. I could see it being a deal-breaker for some, as those that have "beaten" cancer seem more likely to get it again than those who have never had it. If I was looking to have another child, it would be a major concern for me.
 rosebuddnc56
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 55
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Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 9/10/2011 3:28:27 PM
yes, I am a cancer survivor as well. I have "been there, done that" and since I had cancer, I have a new respect for survivors of any kind of disease.
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 56
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 9/10/2011 3:30:15 PM
I dated someone with NHL and I would do it again. If you think too deeply it's heartbreaking but anything can happen in life anyway. There are no guarantees.
 bookofknowledge
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 57
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 9/10/2011 11:11:35 PM
I think it is not necessary to put it in your profile (unless you had something amputated or it still affects you in some way). I think you let your partner know when the relationship developes a bit. The reason I think that you should not put it in your profile is because I think its something a bit more private. There are a lot of things that I think should be saved until you meet someone.

My general rule is that if it won't effect them from dating you, then it doesn't need to be mentioned.

I don't see the problem with dating a cancer survivor.
 steph_0929
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 58
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 9/11/2011 7:05:35 AM
I think it's fine to leave in your profile. I met my husband knowing he was a cancer survivor. When I met him he actually still smoked occassionally and drank as well as visited the tanning bed frequently. He got cancer 2 more times while we were married and as far as I know still has all the same habits. I don't think someone being a cancer survivor would deter me from dating them though I would like to see them take their health more seriously than he did.
 lilaflower912
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 59
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 9/11/2011 3:34:24 PM
OP, I think that if you feel strongly that a potential match for you needs to know about your fight with cancer, then by all means, keep it in your profile! I would not be deterred by the fact a person I was interested had survived cancer. Some people want everything in their lives to be easy-peasy so they shy away from anything that smells of a potentilly "sticky situation" or anything that seem like it might be the least bit difficult.

I was talking to this guy on here and he actually had a cancer scare as we were getting to know each other a bit over emails, and it WAS a bit of a shocker (much more for him, I'm sure!) I just let him know that I was there for him, even if our getting to know each other panned out into nothing, I was prepared to be there for him as a friend that he could talk to if he needed it.

Luckily it turned out NOT to be cancer, but I think a good measure of a potential mate is someone that is prepared to face the good AND bad times with you as well, so if certain people can't even stomach a hard time you went through in the past, then NEXT, lol!!
 LadyofShalott
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 60
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:29:56 AM
I'm glad to hear that you're getting better OP. At the moment I'm going through treatment for Leukemia (in remission final phase) so I too thought that I should tell people that. I would not have a problem dating someone who was a cancer survivor. If I didn't, that would be disliking myself. It gets the issue out there and takes out people who might not stay with you.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 61
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 9/13/2011 12:01:49 PM
I am dating a cancer survivor--he had prostrate cancer. He had a happy outcome: why wouldn't I date him?
 sunnyflower1974
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 62
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 10/24/2011 12:30:08 PM
that is tough call.

i am single woman, i think myself , if only date you i think i will be no problem with that . but for the married, i may should think more like how much risk can i take to have family and chilren with you ....ect . nothing for the personal,but for the family and kids future. elsewise , the strong realationship foundation is very important.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 63
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:04:52 AM
being a cancer survivor shows determination and strength. it actually makes people stronger. i just get a wig if you lose your hair
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 64
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 10/25/2011 7:23:11 AM
First let me answer the questions:
-NO
-NO
-NO
-NO
I have dated a cancer survivor. Cancer and nothing to do with dating her, nor was it a factor in the lack of a relationship developing from said dating.
 maxp813
Joined: 12/11/2010
Msg: 65
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:22:12 PM
Im a cancer survivor i've dated alot.I dont put it on my profile but I do tell them after a couple dates.It doesnt seem to change anything.If it were something you were going through currently it would be diffrent.But you won brother its in the past live your life and be happy.Dont lie or hide it but dont make it seem like its a huge ordeal either.Its realy not i've been in remission for 15yrs.I plan on liveing a full and happy life.
 j-m-f
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 66
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 10/27/2011 10:01:03 PM
Yes mainly because I am one myself. And the key word is "survivor"
 RhondaTaylor
Joined: 10/3/2011
Msg: 67
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Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 10/28/2011 12:30:20 AM
CindyI have a similar question, I lost My Son Kyle. He was murdered by a sexual predator and His death has made Me who I am. i am not bitter, though I could be. His killer was majorly f(*ked up by what happened to Him as a child. First meetings have been hard for me because I still feel the need to tell people about where I am in my life to see if they can handle it. Have any of you have any thoughts on how You wouldfeel if confronted with this>

Thanks
 The-Girl-Next-Door
Joined: 1/12/2013
Msg: 68
Would you date a cancer survivor?
Posted: 1/16/2013 10:34:03 PM
Yes. I would date a cancer survivor. Since I'm one too. I've had a large brain tumor called meningioma growing inside my head. After the neurosurgeon finally surgically removed it I wanted to become a doctor too. But when I was studying at a Native College in Winnipeg, MB, the brain tumor came back again with epilepsy (grand mall seizures.) I also have hypertension, anemia, post traumatic stress disorder, and arthritis. The truth is, I didn't really want to burden any man with my illnesses.

So I've decided to move to Vancouver, BC. I've had coppyrighted poetry published in the newspapers before, and I've received at least 21 awards for best writing in poetry. But then my family members tried to discourage me from writing my autobiography based on 'The Indian Residential School Survivors.' They all think I'm going to bad mouth them with my writing skills. A book publisher in Winnipeg who read my true story told me he found my story to be very compelling and as long as I was willing to talk about it publicly. I told him "Sure, why not?"

But then, I quickly changed my mind and told the publisher to put it through the shredder because I didn't want it to be published yet. I think it may have been too soon. I think I wasn't quite ready yet.
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