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 blueeyyes
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 82
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History
When is it considered cheating?Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
No ,if your not exclusive it's not cheating. After you have dated a while and you both decide you don't want to date anyone else but each other and you say that to each other he is not cheating. Sounds like you need to give the relationship time to grow and go out more and then you can tell if you are right for each other, that takes a while.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 83
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 5/29/2011 11:58:06 PM
Why would interacting with others be considered cheating? From what you said, they hit it off but by NO means where they now exclusive.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 84
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 5/30/2011 2:55:54 AM

I hope we still live in a world where dating one person at a time is the assumption and dating several people at once is the exception that everyone has to agree to up front...not the other way around.

In real life dating that was always a good assumption. If you assume that it works that way online, be prepared for a rude awakening. Get the agreement upfront and put it in your profile if you'd rather only meet like-minded women as potential dating material.
 drumsafrican12
Joined: 6/19/2012
Msg: 86
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History
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 6/26/2012 4:24:41 PM
They don't have a real relationship, just sending messages and talking on the phone. If I were you, I wouldn't make any commitment to anyone in a romantic realm, until I knew the person a few months.

Judith
 Michael_Pro
Joined: 3/17/2012
Msg: 87
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 6/26/2012 5:29:41 PM

So I go and email the guy with neither one of them knowing about it and he "being a guy" responds. Not only does he respond, but he also gets my number and calls me as well. At that point I contacted my friend immediately to let her know what was going on.


Wow OP... Just wow. This is a dating sight for people to see who they are compatible with. He did not cheat on her with you. He answered your email so he could see what his options are. On an online dating sight that might be considered smart since a lot of relationships never go anywhere. I'm talking to a nice young lady right now. I'm not going to change my status to taken though because of it. I have no plans to do any funny business ether. Also whats with the "Being a guy" crap. Are you implying "Well he's a guy so you all know what he's after." I find that ignorant comment both insulting and a sign of your immaturity.

Lets say he's keeping his options open because he's had to many heart breaks on this sight. However he's also hitting it off with your friend and will probably get together with her for keeps. Then you come along and basically tell her he's seeing other women ((which you don't know)) and ruin any chance of them both being happy.

I have to say your attempt at being a 'good friend' ((Playing with peoples relation ships like your own personal toys)) makes me sick and I'm glad I don't know you. I hope any perspective dates you might get see this board. If you ever wonder why guys are not biting. Don't worry it's not them being pigs... It's your personality and the drama you like to cause.


I'm glad that I did so she knows exactly what kind of guy he really is.


Please lets fix that sentence... How about this...


I'm glad that ((YOU)) did so ((WE)) know exactly what kind of ((GIRL)) ((YOU)) really ((ARE)).


Much better... My advice is stay the hell out of your friends business so she might find the happiness you just denied her.
 AprilGem
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 88
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History
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/24/2012 2:19:18 PM
And you call yourself a friend?? Oh my, glad you are no friend of mine.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 89
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/24/2012 2:53:01 PM
Hmm..just because she met him doesnt mean she owns him..they werent exclusive,
He is free to meet whoever he wants too, just like she is
Too many women act like a man is off limits because they talked to him first
Personally if I liked someone I wouldnt care if my friend talked to him first.
The only thing that would stop me is if he was married to her.
No its not cheating..she was talking to him...and he was on dating site, clearly says he is available.
No you weren't wrong.
 TRESemme1
Joined: 6/4/2012
Msg: 90
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/24/2012 3:00:54 PM
you are really creepy. you are interfering other people's relationship. good thing she didn't stop talking to you?

if he doesn't like her as much as she do him, so what? it's not your responsibility to interfere. i think you like this guy, too. and you don't want them two together. it's not right what you just did.
 Athletic-Habitus
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 91
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/24/2012 3:31:11 PM
Well...looks like you got your answer OP. If they were not exclusively dating and promised each other, then no it isn't cheating. Actually evolutionary psychologists say that mosy people practice polygamy until they find the right person, settle down and practice monogamy. If they break up, they are back to polygamy activity again until they find someone again and want monogamy. The guy sounds very quite normal and human...not infatuated or obsessive with your friend.
 Serephena
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 92
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/24/2012 6:37:18 PM
I say kuddos to you for showing her what she was in for. Of course if they hadn't had the exclusive talk yet-everything was fair game. But better that she know then have fantasies about where it was going. I would have done the same for my friends. Don't let em beat ya up over it. Who cares what anyone else thinks about you prying.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 93
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/24/2012 7:23:43 PM
The OP said she gave the guy her number and he called her. I wonder what they talked about. Did she tell him the jig was up or did she play along as being an interested single woman? After hearing what a great guy he was according to her friend, maybe she was setting this up for her to be the back-up plan if it doesn't work out between the guy and her friend. If she wasn't interested in the guy, why did she give him her real number and chat with him instead of giving him phoney information?
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 94
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/24/2012 8:07:00 PM
Some people think it isn't cheating until two people have talked about being exclusive, but on the other hand, I don't think there should be any assumptions made either way... Some people are old school... in fact, many people still are.... once they begin dating someone they assume it's already exclusive. Not everybody believes in dating several people at once and wouldn't want their new flame doing it, either. So it is something that should be discussed with no assumptions made on either side until it has been. What he's doing may not be wrong in his eyes, but if he hasn't discussed it with your friend then it is wrong for sure.

It's cheating if she feels cheated or if she feels that she's been lied to... in the end it's the way she feels about it that counts.
 mike215215
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 95
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:43:07 AM
she's a c@ck blocker.... she is the Fugly friend to the Pretty woman....

The pretty woman needs her to go out with, so that the Fugly is not competing with her, and the Fugly is so happy to go out with Pretty, cuz no one else want to go out with her...

hence the reason to c@ck block Pretty.... cuz if Pretty woman, finds a boyfriend... Fugly does not have a friend anymore to go out with, cuz Pretty will spend most of her free time with BF...

Damm Fugly c@ck blocker... you have to go back to the endless evening in front of the tube...until you find another Pretty to go out with.... endless cycle!
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 96
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:15:14 PM
um.... i don't think the OP is among us anymore people....
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 97
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 7/25/2012 5:29:58 PM
look, i am not going to get into the rightness or wrongness of what you did, but look at the result instead. what you exposed for your friend was the truth. what she thought was true love was obviously nothing more than a lie. what this man did was lead her to believe that he was crazy about her. he exaggerated his feelings for her to great effect. he escalated the relationship, so she thought it was safe for her to nurture the feelings she had for him. if he hadn't escalated the relationship, she might have held back a lot more. he led her to believe that he actually wanted a relationship with her, when it was really nothing more then a passing fancy for him. he is still keeping his options open, and he is most likely telling other women the same things he told her. because, let's be honest, if this man was really as crazy about her as he led her to believe, then he wouldn't be keeping his options open. if a man is in love with a woman, other women don't exist for him - especially in the beginning. he would also be fearful about screwing it up. so, yeah, this guy has been less then forthright about his true intentions and feelings towards her. i call it high warmth, low intention. did they have a commitment? were they exclusive? i dont know, you left that part out, but the fact of the matter is that there is a marked discrepancy between what he is telling her and how he truly feels. his actions illustrate this perfectly. a man that is really in love doesn't act this way.

honestly, i do not know why men do this! i've had this done to me, and it just pissed me off to no end. i mean, why string someone along and lie to them about being in love or actually wanting to be with them when ya don't? why? why hurt someone in this way? why do men DO this? (for the stupid people that need a qualification, no i am not saying that ALL men do this, but i am saying that some men do - and enough of them do so that it causes a lot of pain, hurt, and anger in many of us women and makes us suspicious of men and the things that they say- end of qualification for the stupid people that think everything is a flippen generalization and are too dumb to discuss things in the abstratct).

while we can argue ad infinitum about the rightness or wrongness of what you did, in the end you exposed the lie and the liar. your friend has been and is being played by a man that sees her as nothing more then a fluffer on his way to meeting a woman that he reallyyyyyyy wants to be with. i don't know about your friend, but i would thank you, gather what little i had left of my dignity, and simply make an exit. if your friend has a brain she will realize that this man is a) dishonest about his true feelings, b) sees her as a bookmark, a space filler, a fluffer, c) and she will top wasting her time.
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