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 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 92
Relationships with Bartenders and WaitressPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Oh for goodness sakes. Generally speaking, if a waitress's MO was to pick up guys, she'd be working in a different ''profession''.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 93
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/23/2011 7:36:37 PM
HUSBAND DAY CARE CENTER

* NEED TIME TO RELAX?
* NEED TIME TO YOURSELF?
* WANT TO GO SHOPPING?

LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND WITH US! WE LOOK AFTER HIM FOR YOU! YOU ONLY PAY FOR HIS DRINKS!


^^^LMAO! Yup, they get them hammered, "broke" and then send 'em home where the wife will hopefully get laid!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 94
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/23/2011 8:58:57 PM

HUSBAND
DAY CARE CENTER
* NEED TIME TO RELAX?
* NEED TIME TO YOURSELF?
*WANT TO GO SHOPPING?
LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND WITH US!
WE LOOK AFTER HIM FOR YOU!
YOU ONLY PAY FOR HIS DRINKS!

HA. I don't know if it's pro or con to this thread, but it's funnnnny and very likely a service that at least some will take full advantage of.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 95
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/24/2011 6:46:38 AM
Not naive at all, those observations come from slinging drinks in some of the busiest largest venue's in S. Fl. Female patrons and female bartenders arent there to get laid.

Then you are replying to the wrong person. I didn't say anything about about female bartenders or female patrons. I was talking about married husbands who spend their evenings hanging around in bars with or without their single buddies. (Although that would obviously extend to married, single female patrons, that wasn't what you meant when you misconstrued what I said.)

Another observation, usually when women are paranoid about her man cheating, the guy isnt even anything special to begin with. Just sayin.

In other words, you think that if you think your partner is cheating, your partner must not be very special? So, the only way a partner can be hot and exciting is if you're naive and oblivious to your partner's behaviour? Nice try.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 96
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/24/2011 12:30:08 PM
^^^^ In other words, i think that a man who is married and looking for some cooch on the side is not a prime catch. Thats just me though. Maybe other people think its hot.
If you think your partner is cheating, one of 2 things is going on.
You are paranoid and jealous.....or...he is cheating.
And 9 times out of 10 the guy isnt anything most women would want to tap on to begin with.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 97
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/25/2011 4:24:56 AM

In other words, i think that a man who is married and looking for some cooch on the side is not a prime catch. Thats just me though. Maybe other people think its hot.

Apparently, enough people seem to think married people are hot enough to become involved with before realizing they aren't prime catches. However, the only thing relevant here is the married person out trolling, not whether or not he/she is a prime catch.

You are paranoid and jealous.....or...he is cheating.

Those two options don't even make logical sense. The options are: Your partner is (1) not cheating; (2) cheating or planning to cheat. You can either be oblivious to your partner's actions, be cognizant of your partner's actions or be paranoid/jealous without justification. Being suspicious of a partner who is out trolling bars every night is just being cognizant of your partner's behaviour and in my opinion, that behaviour is not acceptable for someone who is married. If you think it is, then in my opinion, you're naive. What do you need before you would consider suspicion to be more than paranoia and jealousy, a youtube video of your partner cheating?

And 9 times out of 10 the guy isnt anything most women would want to tap on to begin with.

That doesn't keep married men/women from finding someone to tap. People who cheat and get away with it, do so because it's easy. They can easily find someone to cheat with and their partners are hopelessly naive.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 98
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/25/2011 4:37:37 AM
^^You're excluding the fact the guy "trolling bars"is actually away from home on business.
Yes, I agree with you that a cheater would find this situation ideal. But not every guy is a cheater. And not every waitress is a slut.
I worked behind bars and waitressed for three years while I was at uni and I didn't see or hear of my female work buddies dating customers. If anything happened, it usually involved guys who worked with us or friends of theirs.
I don't know how easy it is for a married man or women to regularly cheat if they aren't travelling for their work. I've read enough stories here from average Joe married guys to know that the pickings are slim. Even the intelligent-sounding ones are here for years, wishing hoping praying...
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 99
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/25/2011 4:55:10 AM

But not every guy is a cheater. And not every waitress is a slut.

OK,, so not every person is a cheater. (The waitress aspect is irrelevant.) I have yet to hear a story of someone who was cheated on for any length of time where the person being cheated on was not completely oblivious. Trust is fine, but ignoring the obvious is just dumb.

I've read enough stories here from average Joe married guys to know that the pickings are slim. Even the intelligent-sounding ones are here for years, wishing hoping praying...

Any guy who just wants to get laid, can do a google search using terms like, hobbyist, escort, provider, and/or others to locate forums just like pof that are devoted to escorting and guys looking for escorts, spend some time reading those forums and find hundreds of opportunities at his fingertips. Women have it even easier. They can get paid to cheat. Cheating is easy. Lots of married men do it and lots of married women and women in relationships do a little escorting on the side. They are only able to do it because their partners are oblivious to what they're doing.
 gardenias2
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 100
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/25/2011 11:53:23 AM

I worked behind bars and waitressed for three years while I was at uni and I didn't see or hear of my female work buddies dating customers.


haha in your same shoes it was my best fishing ground. always a great way to meet men.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 101
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/25/2011 12:10:24 PM

haha in your same shoes it was my best fishing ground. always a great way to meet men.

Much like online. If one doesn't care about a wo/man's marital status, ANY WHERE is good "fishing." If one has concerns about meeting/dating those who are attached to someone, he/she will do their investigation and rule out those who they don't find suitable (eg: those who are attached.) Bars are NO different than gyms, web-sites, grocery stores, churches, etc. for meeting people. And yes, people lie ~ this thread isn't about someone lying about his/her marital status, this man CLEARLY did not lie about having a wife at home. It was common knowledge. Hence? What worked for you when fishing in a bar, doesn't really apply to the OT here. JMO
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 102
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/25/2011 12:14:09 PM

Any guy who just wants to get laid, can do a google search using terms like, hobbyist, escort, provider, and/or others to locate forums just like pof that are devoted to escorting and guys looking for escorts, spend some time reading those forums and find hundreds of opportunities at his fingertips.

Yeah, but abelian, they don't want to PAY FOR IT. The married guys who troll around on websites looking for sex are mostly there because ít's their egos that need feeding, just as much as body parts. It's not so much the money as wanting a woman who desires them.
But I do agree with you: I would hate being in a relationship with a barfly. And for all the reasons you said. However,if they're going to cheat, it's less likely to be with a waitress or bartender than with another patron.
And I don't think those wives are as oblivious as you say.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 103
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 4/25/2011 1:55:57 PM
^^^ yes part of the desire for some "strange" with some men is the chase and convincing the woman to want him ( or at least to put on a good show that she does ) , some men are looking for some passion and desire that they are simply not getting at home. It's not about having to pay as he may end up paying more for it by the time he wines and dines her a few times than he would if he had just paid the fee directly - there ain't much of a chase in the pay for service girls and you know they are not doing it out of desire or passion.
 donaldjtrumpisforme
Joined: 2/2/2018
Msg: 104
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/10/2018 4:52:01 PM
My boyfriend of 14 years who I have known all of my life, we are seniors, and I am not talking HS, has been ignoring me a lot for 2 years except on Saturday nights. For the past 2 years instead, he goes to a local bar Monday thru Thursday. I have asked him many times why he doesn’t ask me to meet him at that bar after he leaves his office even if it is just one other night a week. 2 years ago we would see each other at least 2 times thru the week. He finally has taken me 2 times in the past 5-6 weeks. There is a female bartender, probably about 40, not pretty , in fact she always looks unkempt, grease looking hair slicked back, no makeup and sloppy black baggy pants with a mans T-shirt and a cardigan sweater. He finally introduced me to her and she said hi and then kept talking only to him without making eye contact with me. They had little private jokes back and forth about his habits at the bar. Last Sunday he took me for a second time. Bar stools were full so we took a table in a section that she was not serving, but someone else was. She told him hello when he came in but paid no mind to me being there. We had been their about a half an hour. She comes over to where we were sitting to ask him if she could call him the next day to ask him a couple of questions (he is an attorney). She stood right next to him and never looked at me and or made eye contact. Pissed me off because they have shown that they are quite friendly. I looked her and said HELLO and called her by her first name. She cast me a glance and said, “Oh, I’m sorry” and then excused herself after their conversation and touched his arm rather gently with both hands and walked back to her section. Before we left, he left me at the table to go to the men’s room and passed by the bar where she was, I noticed they had a 2 minute conversation. This kind of thing has been going on for 2 years. I can tell she is infatuated with him. He says that I am crazy and has called me a crazy ***** for thinking such things. We are not getting along because if his going to this bar 4 nights a week without me. What do you girls think. I am very hurt. Am I crazy to think something is amiss?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 105
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/10/2018 5:17:27 PM
No, you aren't crazy. I think you have reason to be suspicious.

I'm not you but if I was I would tell him I need a break and to date other people. If he fights you on this or is upset then there might be hope for you but if he takes a break up easy then you know it's a foregone conclusion.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 106
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/10/2018 5:28:31 PM
You let this go on for 2 years.... yes you are crazy.
 donaldjtrumpisforme
Joined: 2/2/2018
Msg: 107
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/10/2018 8:33:40 PM
I have left him as I know it is best for me. It’s difficult with all of our years of history. I’ve known him since kindergarten and dated him during different times of our lives. I am going to be ok.

I really appreciate an outsiders opinion. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being honest! All of my friends and my adult daughter with kids of her own, agree with you. It’s good to have an outsiders opinion!
 donaldjtrumpisforme
Joined: 2/2/2018
Msg: 108
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/10/2018 8:36:16 PM
I love him, and it’s not a,ways easy letting go. He is an attorney who can lie and is very convincing. Thank you for your input and I assure you that I am quite sane and just needed some outsiders to convince me of what he is doing to me is wrong. I can’t make him love me, so I am done. And, I feel pretty strong and happier now to let him go.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 109
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/11/2018 3:41:00 AM
Unfortunately, what you had has played itself out. It's good that you came to the conclusion it was time to part ways. I would never have a LTR with someone that hangs out in a bar several days of the week. No good is ever going to come of that. The waitress could have been mimicking his indifference to you. She was being disrespectful, and he allowed it. You'll be fine on your own. Good luck to you!
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 110
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/11/2018 4:10:57 AM
Its nice to know a female bartender can avoid wearing suggestive clothing to get bigger tips :) Still, she may have decided that having an attorney as a friend can help, and has been creating a friendship all this time in order to get pro bono advice. If he shows up at a regular time, she could shine herself up those days if she was out to seduce him. Maybe he just loves the fawning attention from her. Still, you two have been on and off, and this could just be another reason why.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 111
Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/11/2018 6:35:07 AM
69 years on this planet and you needed a dating site forum to confirm something was wrong?? If you were a man, the bitter women and the white knights who stink this joint up would be telling you how clueless you are.

They would also be RIOTING over your username, but, of course, no one is saying a peep. You do look damn good for your age, though. I'll give you that.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 112
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/11/2018 6:42:47 AM
^^^^I sort of followed you here...and my first impression was holy shit.
I'm not bitter, or a man...but holy shit.
But yes, you are very good looking and I'm sure you'll do well.

The lady is also very good looking...hahahahahaha!
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 113
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/11/2018 7:48:18 AM
Maybe the woman is his long lost now found love child~
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 114
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/17/2018 5:03:13 PM
His been out lots having too may alocholic drinks. He will learn the hard way. My boss always knew when I’d been out night before. Inability to communicate past Hi and bye., my lack of focus and general effing up most my tasks for the day.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 115
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/17/2018 7:47:15 PM

My boyfriend of 14 years


I didn't even attempt to read the rest of the wall of text. Only question I have is why are you here looking for a relationship?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 116
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Relationships with Bartenders and Waitress
Posted: 7/22/2018 10:26:19 PM

My boyfriend of 14 years who I have known all of my life, we are seniors, and I am not talking HS, has been ignoring me a lot for 2 years except on Saturday nights.

Been ignoring you a lot for 2 years after you two broke up, or the last two years of your Relationship?

2 years ago we would see each other at least 2 times thru the week. He finally has taken me 2 times in the past 5-6 weeks. ............ We are not getting along because if his going to this bar 4 nights a week without me. What do you girls think. I am very hurt.

You haven't fully broken up. I call BS that you Really have broken up. :) My guess is that you "broke up" in a way, but still are seeing each other, wanting him fully back, but it's not working and you're frustrated still. And you do this, because, as you say, you're not over him -- but put up an online profile in the dating world to at least try and take a step in moving on.

Thing is, you have to Move On. Which means no chasing. It's been 14 years. Not 14 days of some dates of some guy you want to capture the heart of. It's Over. Done. Finito. Your emotion is not a good guide of wise & unwise moves.

Getting back to the original topic...

Most bar/wait staff aren't looking to pick up customers, they're looking for good tips. So I agree that if the guy was looking to cheat, he'd have a much easier time with the female patrons, especially if alcohol was in the mix.

I go to the bars a lot. When you're a regular at a place, you can end up hooking up with waitstaff / bartenders. Or even not a regular sometimes. Yes, guys will too often think they have a better chance than they actually do, though. Especially when gals in their position are to be open to guys (innocent?) flirting, and doing it back a bit sometimes, etc., to keep them coming in.

But your guy at the time said it was the bartenders / waitstaff. He could easily say that if he and his work friends were mingling with Chicks. That's more likely. I'd say the same thing: "Oh, that's the waitress, dear," if I was playing wingman for a friend and my GF was really protective.
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