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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How do we deal with transition?      Home login  
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 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 26
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How do we deal with transition?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
And another reason not to worry is May 21,2011 is supposed to be the Day of Resurrection, at least according to some people who have studied the Bible in depth. If they are correct, you don't have a problem. If not, the Mayan calendar end in 2012, supposedly coincident with the end of the Universe. So....no need to worry....party, party, party!!!!!!

Even if both gangs are wrong, you will feel better anyway
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 27
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/11/2011 6:31:42 PM
i'm about to undergo a major transition and i'm just looking forward to the boost in the bank account!



so Armageddon better wait until i start my new job!
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 28
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/11/2011 9:52:59 PM
^^Good luck, DB!!
And thanks darling cyber-buddies..You all know how to stop me from being too introspective. And if Rearguard's predictions come true, there'll be NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 29
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/12/2011 12:43:28 AM
Today I met a 73-year-old woman from Montreal who met her Australian husband on the internet 11 years ago.
They chatted for five years before he said he had to meet her and flew over.
She decided living by a golf course and the sea in country Victoria was better than living in Montreal, beautiful though it is, and moved over here six years ago.
She was 67!
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 30
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/12/2011 1:57:41 AM
^^^ Today such a transition would require going through airport security.
Better get in quick before cavity searches are mandatory
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 31
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/12/2011 7:21:26 AM

What is the point of old age? Do we peak and then spend the rest of our lives in slow physical and intellectual decline?
Yep. Pretty much so.
But where we do it, how we do it, and with whom we do it sure does count towards whether it is interesting and fun.

Are there any surprises left or is it just the same old, same old until we reach the end?
I think there is a lot of "same old, same old" going on.. but that's because we we have been around our own same old selves for 60,70 years!
Even if we take up a new hobbie.. it's still the same old me doing the knitting or the swimming or sitting there at the new club I've joined.
Growth, new experiences, moving to new areas, ... it's still the "me" that I've lived with for 60 years.. so yeah, "same old, same old". lol
And there's not a whole lot I can surprise myself with anymore.
So inside it does feel like "same old, same old",
even if the outside is amazed while overlooking the Grand Canyon for the first time.



I don't want to be relevant only as a mother or grandmother. There's got to be more to it than this...what do you think?
The "more to it" is all the lives you've touched in some way or another and will touch tomorrow. It really does take all of us to keep all of this going.
The "more to it" in your own personal actions... get disciplined enough to write that book or move to a brand new area and have adventures or whatever, ya know?
The "more to it" in your own personal feelings.. heck, go smoke a joint and you'll be okay.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 32
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/12/2011 11:07:48 AM
gym
jacuzzi
road trip
mix in appropriate frequencies, duration and distance
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 33
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 2:49:55 AM
Reluctance
Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last long aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

--Robert Frost.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 34
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:09:45 AM
^^^ you are WRONG. everybody knows jesus is coming back on May 21st and boy is he PISSED. T minus 8 and counting!!!!! i say start drinking now.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 35
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:32:28 AM
^^bloody hell, guys, I'm trying to have a deep and meaningful moment here and all you can talk about is getting blind and going out with a bang (so to speak)..
 Snappy_Turtle
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 36
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:46:51 AM
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
(dylan thomas)

I'M BEING SERIOUS YOU!!! vvv

"Equality" -- I spoke the word as if a wedding vow.
But I was so much older then -- I'm younger than that now.
(bob dylan)
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 37
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:56:04 AM
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
(by W.H. Auden)
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 38
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 4:56:35 AM

it had occured to me that the age-old question of "why are we here" makes more sense to me now than it ever did.


Continue paying taxes and pay more for Arthritus medications.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 39
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 5:20:12 AM
As far as I can tell, while the body progressively shows the effects of age, the heart still races with the prospect of love and the longings to join physically with the object and subject of affection remains unabated. Is it not the flights of passion that give meaning to life? Age does not appear to still the romantic desires, so how then can life lose its meaning?
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 40
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 5:21:05 AM

As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
(by W.H. Auden)


Now it all makes sense..
"Where have all the well-hung gone?
Long time passing.."
 Snappy_Turtle
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 41
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 5:26:38 AM
The answer, my friend, is blowin in the wind

happy early BD you serenely sensible sex goddess
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 42
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 5:29:08 AM

Where have all the well-hung gone?



Montreal....
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 43
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 6:35:11 AM
Where have all the well-hung gone?

Hey there, some of us have hung out at San Diego's infamous Blacks Beach..
Where the traveling Forumites can meet this summer, watch hang-gliders and let it all hang out..
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 44
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 6:57:08 AM
^^montreal huh?
i knew i shouldn't have wasted my time at vancouver...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 45
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 9:29:12 AM



As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
(by W.H. Auden)

Now it all makes sense..
"Where have all the well-hung gone?
Long time passing.."


Do I dare say it????

Some of us are still here!
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 46
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 9:32:28 AM
I used to see transitions along the lines of the way Macbeth saw it:

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
creeps in this petty pace from day to day
to the last syllable of recorded time
and all our yesterdays have lighted fools
the way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
that struts and frets his hour upon the stage
and then is heard no more. It is a tale
told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing

wow ... THAT'S depression! that's anguish! I'm over that period in my life and prefer Andrew Marvell's point of view:

now therefore while the youthful hue
sits on thy skin like morning dew
and while thy willing soul transpires
at every pore with instant fires
now let us sport us while we may
and now, like amorous birds of prey
rather at once our time devour
than languish in his slow-chapped power
let us roll all our strength and all
our sweetness up into one ball
and tear our pleasures with rough strife
thorough the iron gates of life
thus, though we cannot make our sun
stand still, yet we will make him run!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 47
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/13/2011 12:28:58 PM
It depends on what kind of transition it is. There are different kinds.

Maria Shrivers is an interesting version: she has to transition from a life driven by who she has been married to, and who's daughter she is, and who she's related to, to a life guided by and for herself. That's a BIG transition, so it doesn't surprise me that she might feel a bit lost.

There is a dynamic in life that we all have to deal with, and that is the leading cause of 'transition confusions.' That dynamic, IS the dynamic nature of most of our lives times. As we move from childhood to adulthood, what we have to deal with accelerates tremendously. One thing after another challenges most of us: choosing a career, getting the job, finding a mate, finding ANOTHER career, raising children, finding ways to pay for them, struggling with the recognition that we can no longer think about "what we'll do and be when we grow up."
All that stuff causes MOST of us, to be living one moment to the next, one adventure to the next, one challenge to the next. That has the result of knocking most of our plans for ourselves into the waste bin, over and over again, as we put this or that off so that we can deal with the other things. By the time we get to our fifties, if not sooner, we are so far away from what we used to think our lives were for, that we have become entirely new entities.
Then something big happens. Our spouse leaves us, one way or another. the last child moves out on their own. The job we've done for many years ceases to exist. In Shrivers case, pretty much everything walks out the door at once.


What we have to do to deal with something like that is: we have to find our own foundation. We have to take what ever steps are needed to re-locate our fundamental selves. This is often called "grounding yourself" by folks who talk about such things a lot. Rediscover what you want to do, how you want to spend your time. The "bliss" pursuit is similar, with the exception that they failed to mention that before you LAUNCH towards bliss, you have to clear your launchpad, and completely separate yourself from all that stuff that took you so off course for so long. You have to fully establish where you stand before you are ready to jump anew.
 CheshireChat
Joined: 5/14/2010
Msg: 48
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/15/2011 5:48:04 PM
I don't want to make finding a partner my life's goal. I don't want to be relevant only as a mother or grandmother. There's got to be more to it than this...what do you think?

Hi Ruby,

I definitely think there's more to it...I don't know about you but I married young and stayed married for 30+ years. Transition was never scary for me. The status quo is what scared the living daylights out of me. I've been alone for 4 years now and they've been the hardest but also the most wonderful years. I had lost myself along the way and finding myself, getting to know what I really wanted, what I was really like as a person has been a true journey of discovery. And growing old doesn't scare me, as long as GROWING is still part of the equation. I still have lots of things I want to learn and do. Its a great big world out there Ruby , and my life's goal is enjoying every second of whatever LIFE is left.

Bon courage...!
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 49
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How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/16/2011 1:23:52 PM

but what about single old people? What do they do each night?


Actually, I do the same things I did when I had a partner. Dinner, exercise, maybe TV, visit with friends, post in the forums. (Wish I had someone to play tennis with, though.)

It's not easy to transition from having someone around most of the time, to being alone. Once I make the adjustment, I'm always VERY hesitant to enter into another relationship.

I think it's crucial to find ways to entertain yourself. I rely on my friends for occasional company. I would be miserable without them.
 netsink
Joined: 11/16/2010
Msg: 50
How do we deal with transition?
Posted: 5/16/2011 4:09:36 PM
OP~ Once the power is gone, so are we...
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