Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > The Ex....Obviously has a lover...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 151
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

The people here are waaay to fast to cast the first stone. ... I really did ask him with respect, which no one asked for my exact verbal conversation with him

OP, you cast the first stone by accusing/convicting your hubby based purely on your own assumptions. You started the whole ball rolling of making unfounded accusations.

The mere fact that you posted a thread here in public accusing your hubby of getting his grove on with some unnamed woman shows disrespect in and of itself.

You have no one to blame but yourself for the nasty tone of the entire thread.
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 152
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 12:15:52 AM

First off.. you were right in your assumption that is was a legit question. 99% of what I have said is true.. It was just slanted...What people do not get is that sometimes you can ask a question sincerely and wonder if the person needs a bit of a nudge.. as happened in this case. When I saw it was going to be the usual POF Cluster Fawk and I was not going to get an answer ... just condemnation... oh hell ya.. I had fun with it. Call it a troll post if you wish.


You've just condemned yourself from ever having anything "real" to say. Ever. I will disregard or take with a grain of salt any post or thread of yours that I may come across. How unfortunate.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 153
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 12:46:20 AM
What answer did you want? You did get answers-to mind your own business.

What does it matter? I dont care who or if any of my ex's date. I dont care iof they date every woman in the world. I dont care of they date the Queen of England. I dont care if they date anyone at all. The only man that i care about what he does is the man i am with now.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 154
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 5:54:30 AM
Yes, the OP's soon to be ex husband will show up here in roughly three days. It takes that amount of time for a new profile to be allowed to post...but it will be the OP with a dude's picture trying to make her point.

You askd how to handle the situation, the concensus was that unless he tells you, it is not your business. This was good advice that you just could not accept.

So, dont accept it. But dont expect us to accept that this man went from needing help sooo badly (cant use a phone) to singing about this thread within the timeline presented here. Some part of that is BS. Either the extreme need for help was BS or the after part.

People here may be harsh at times,. but they aint stupid.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 155
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 6:08:53 AM
I know we are supposed to be "polite" (hahaha) and I will probably be banned for a while again but OP you deserve it.... YOU are a moron! Get a life... of your own.

Your an attention seeking, self absorbed drama queen in the worst possible way.

After reading all your updated posts I don't think anyone here would believe anything you say (or write) you twist, add and delete shyt just to try to stay on top of the "situation" you invented and act like no one has hurt your feelings for calling you out, when it's obvious that is what has happened.

Your how old? Someone needs to double and triple check the birth certificate! I think your more like 18 and missed out on the love of your daddy.

Agreed... this is definitely another Jerry Springer moment.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 156
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 6:32:36 AM

and act like no one has hurt your feelings for calling you out, when it's obvious that is what has happened.

Yeah, the OPs responses have definitely crossed into " the lady doth protest too much" territory.
OP, i really think you need to sit down with yourself and think long and hard about why you are sooo concerned about your sorta-ex, what's going on in his love life and what's in dresser drawers in a place that is not your residence.
Cindy O
 poferette
Joined: 2/11/2011
Msg: 157
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 6:37:43 AM
Ok, I am confused, you are engaged to one man and still married to another that has your clothing? wtf woman, storage places exist. Let the poor man have a life. You lost tons of weight and don't remember your own clothing and get jealous of your not ex husband. I so don't understand this...
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 158
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 6:51:11 AM
The cluster F&Cken is not happening here. I think it's happening in your husbands drawers.
 kayla1963
Joined: 4/1/2011
Msg: 159
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 8:17:19 AM

I know we are supposed to be "polite" (hahaha) and I will probably be banned for a while again but OP you deserve it.... YOU are a moron! Get a life... of your own.

Your an attention seeking, self absorbed drama queen in the worst possible way.


ahhahahahh!


Gee, I got chastised TWICE because your husband thinks I'm ?

Hahahah! Guess it was a little too honest for you to face if you had to keep letting me know how funny he thinks I am. When he (more accurately, you) creates his profile, I'll send him some better pics (that is if you don't have his password and go through all his messages like you do his drawers). Heehee!

You have MAJOR boundary issues on many levels. Lucky for your hubby he could exploit that trait when he wanted you to slide back in to place and wipe his a$$.

Don't you find it telling that he didn't want you involved in calling his new GF?
He was silent because they did not want to hear anything from ME.


What happened to that topic? Or are you too busy derailing the thread into a big dressing down of the heathen behavior of us forumites?
 BevR
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 160
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 8:23:33 AM
umm have you ever givin the thought to they might be his panties and things in the drawer.. and that he doesnt want every one to know?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 161
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 10:12:14 AM
Oh and for the really curious on what was in the dresser drawers.. it was my old dresser (now his) that had some of my old clothes in it


WTF? If you have been apart for five years and you're living in another city with your fiance, why would you keep any of your clothes at your old marital home, especially in the same dresser you had when married? The second totally mind boggling thing is why would your ex leave your clothes in his dresser? And then you make the remark about your clothes: "I found it had moved down a few drawers". The nerve of the ex! Moving YOUR clothes down a few drawers in what is now HIS dresser! ''

What any normal guy would do is he would put your stuff on the front lawn or to the curb and tell you that if you want the rest of your stuff, come and get it NOW or it's going into the trash can. It's obvious you and the ex haven't doused the flames, and in the back of your minds, you're wondering if there is any chance of getting back together. If you were ready to move on, the divorce would have been finalized a long time ago.

Does your fiance know that you're keeping some of your clothes in his bedroom dresser? If, for whatever reason, your ex wanted to store some of his personal belongings at your place, would your fiance be OK with that idea? You said you showed your ex these postings. Are you going to show these postings to your fiance?
 ChillinChill
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 162
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 11:05:18 AM
Okay... Calling bs.

So the story is full of holes anyway.

Here is a WTF??

If infact the bureau was YOUR bureau with YOUR clothes in it...

Why would you have us believe that you just happened...*cough* to

discover these unmentionables as someone elses clothing

while putting HIS clothes away.

Why were you putting HIS clothes in YOUR bureau??? Duh?

That's sum poopy, Mizz Snoopy.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 163
view profile
History
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 11:34:08 AM
Wow. You have taken a real
beating here.

I bet you will never post again.

Shame actually. That's why we have three
year old threads being brought up.

Anyone can read these forums and say "fuck this
I will find help elsewhere".

You took a huge chance posting this about your ex
husband who is not quite your ex Whatever.

People have emailed me asking if they should post
something- scared to death of either the total
disdain or the grammar police not addressing the
post but slamming them for lack of paragaphs, etc....

Anyway. Since I am here I will offer something
to you -

I don't know you or your situation with your ex.

He needs help. You found underwear. He does not
want to share. End of convo.

My personal opinion OP- never ever start another
thread. Ever. Never. Not worth it. Unless it is in
the recipe forum.


Have a nice day.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 164
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 1:33:20 PM
Curlygrl
You do bring up some good points-but this topic is definitely ODD. I think a lot of us are concerned for the OP, her ex, and her new fiance, because it would appear that she is trying to create a new serious relationship while never having quite closed out the previous one-which can be a Rx for serious problems!
As for people being concerned about posting?
This is, after all, a FORUM for regular folks to give their opinions, share their own experiences, and offer advice.
It is not a council of tribal elders, it's not a consortium of psychiatrists, it's not a collection of psychologists and counselors giving out free care.
Yes, sometimes posters come across as harsh...but I think that's mostly because they are trying to avert a trainwreck by sticking their foot in front of one of the trains. When the foot gets run over, they come back with a bulldozer and reroute the track.
Anyone with a serious issue that they need tactful advice about, probably ought to seek out the appropriate professional. Whatever else may or may not be problematic with forum advice, it IS free.
Cindy O
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 165
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 9:17:35 PM
cheer up, it is easier to get over them when they have moved on and there is no possibility of them coming back to you.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 166
The OP....Obviously has a screw lose...
Posted: 5/15/2011 8:17:28 AM

I really hope that some see what issues I have.


yup!


I have with the response trolls here and maybe can give a rational response to the question which is moot at this point as it has already been set straight by the ex who really finds the comments here hilarious.


Yes,your are very moot! And let's hope your ex, if there is such a person gives ya a couple extra bucks for your farce story.

I'll give you credit OP, as your troll was better then most. And for those who still shoot at the hip before reading the fine print & eating crow.

I did not bite on this thread,as misery loves company & for those still rehashing the past.
So my maybe all those therapy secessions are now paying off!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 167
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/15/2011 8:30:37 AM

Wow. You have taken a real
beating here.

I bet you will never post again.

Shame actually. That's why we have three
year old threads being brought up.


Finally the voice of reason.

Whether we agree with the OP or not, whether the OP will the the wisdom of others expressed here or not, in the end it does not matter. It is up to the OP to take some of this information and do something with it. There are a lot of things that do not make sense, but guess what. WE do not have to live with that. As crazy as it may sound to us, and NORMAL to the OP, it is her life. So I agree here with Curlygirl. And to the OP, take what is of value and ignore the rest. Perhaps also print some of this stuff, and read it again in a year. Life will have new meaning after that time.

An old post of mine was resuscitated after a year, and my perspective on the subject has changed slightly. Perhaps I can see now what I could not see then.
 gardenias2
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 168
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 12:08:02 AM
and i think it is as simple as the fact that she is going thru a divorce which means she is learning to disengage from her ex and create a new life. it isn't always a clean break especially when the ex needs help.

she's learning. thats what we humans do from birth to death.

posters here have been brutally rude. it's a shame. compassion would have been so much more appropriate.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 169
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 4:02:10 AM
^^^^^ Nah, trolls don't deserve compassion....
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 170
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 7:26:09 AM
My personal opinion OP- never ever start another thread. Ever. Never. Not worth it. Unless it is in the recipe forum.


You couldn't be more correct. I personally wouldnt ask the people here what's the best type of detergent to use. One poster calls the OP a moron and in the same sentence says "your an attention seeking...." That would be you're, before you call somone a moron learn the language. My divorce took 2 years to become final. We had a house together, I am sure I left things behind. It doesnt make a statement to anything other than my procrastination. Op, I think we both know what you learned by posting here.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 171
view profile
History
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 8:18:22 AM
Half my family lives in Canada and my Mom has never had to go there to care for one of her sisters after a surgery. Canadian health care provides carers. So the last person you would need to call is your Ex wife living in America. How exactly do you leave work for weeks to care for an Ex husband? Do you work? If you have no job and are not divovced yet how exactly did you get a visa lasting 5 years to live in the US?
No fear that they will not allow you back over the border?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 172
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 10:44:15 AM
Carolann
You do bring up some good points that concern facts and logistics.
The OPs profile lists a US residence-unless she means she lives in Canada and the residence listed is her ex's-where she is staying.
If she is a US resident, FMLA MIGHT cover the situation, as the man with the broken collarbone is legally still her husband.
As to the whole visa thing, I couldn't begin to guess.
We may not GET answers to these questions-the OPs profile makes reference to being banned from the forums.
Go figure.
However, the thread does bring out some interesting discussion about letting go, and establishing/re-establishing boundaries. I have no doubt that similar scenarios abound-maybe not exactly as described here, but I'm sure that it CAN be difficult to let go/move on/respect NEW boundaries when a divorcing couple has things that tie them together-children, perhaps property or business interests, a continuation of affection for mutual friends and/or each others' families. We certainly don't like to see the other side of the divorce coin either, where all is anger, hatred, revenge.
But yes this is, as I said before, such an odd situation...and certain elements do not seem to line up, do they?
Cindy O
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 173
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 11:00:02 AM
It is quite possible since her mother lives in the US (she is caring for her now) that she was a US citizen who married a Canadian. I'm pretty sure if that's the case she would be free to come and go as often as she wants.
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 174
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:33:00 AM
Did you move in with him or are you just stopping by to help him?

Your fiance is OK with you spending time with your husband??

Why are you so concerned about who is involved with?? Why even ask? If you don't care why are you asking? He has a broken collar bone. Not two. I am sure he can use his phone right? He can contact anyone he wants right. I mean he was able to call you to come help him right?

It seems like YOU are curious to know who he is dealing with out of jealousy? Are you divorcing because you suspected he cheated or dishonesty issues?? Maybe he doesn't want to tell you anything because he will know you'll get mad and probably not help him. Because you will probably say, "Well can you call that b*tch to come help you then..".

Suggestion: Mind your business. If you are going to help, just help and quit trying to be all up in his business. Just doesn't seem like you moved on. I think it's crazy that you are engaged while married. SMH.
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 175
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:47:06 AM

The Ex...............Obviously has a ..............stalker?



Yeah...searching thru his drawers. So willing to be all up in his home and leaving the fiance behind to do so. Asking him who he's talking to/dating etc.

She can care less about his collar bone. She came back to snoop and is desperately trying to see if her stock fell and why.

I feel sorry for her fiance. I wish I would run back to help an ex with anything. If she had said no, I am sure he would have found a way.

Why does it take 5 yrs to get a divorce anyways??
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > The Ex....Obviously has a lover...