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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > The Ex....Obviously has a lover...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 163
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The Ex....Obviously has a lover...Page 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Wow. You have taken a real
beating here.

I bet you will never post again.

Shame actually. That's why we have three
year old threads being brought up.

Anyone can read these forums and say "fuck this
I will find help elsewhere".

You took a huge chance posting this about your ex
husband who is not quite your ex Whatever.

People have emailed me asking if they should post
something- scared to death of either the total
disdain or the grammar police not addressing the
post but slamming them for lack of paragaphs, etc....

Anyway. Since I am here I will offer something
to you -

I don't know you or your situation with your ex.

He needs help. You found underwear. He does not
want to share. End of convo.

My personal opinion OP- never ever start another
thread. Ever. Never. Not worth it. Unless it is in
the recipe forum.


Have a nice day.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 164
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 1:33:20 PM
Curlygrl
You do bring up some good points-but this topic is definitely ODD. I think a lot of us are concerned for the OP, her ex, and her new fiance, because it would appear that she is trying to create a new serious relationship while never having quite closed out the previous one-which can be a Rx for serious problems!
As for people being concerned about posting?
This is, after all, a FORUM for regular folks to give their opinions, share their own experiences, and offer advice.
It is not a council of tribal elders, it's not a consortium of psychiatrists, it's not a collection of psychologists and counselors giving out free care.
Yes, sometimes posters come across as harsh...but I think that's mostly because they are trying to avert a trainwreck by sticking their foot in front of one of the trains. When the foot gets run over, they come back with a bulldozer and reroute the track.
Anyone with a serious issue that they need tactful advice about, probably ought to seek out the appropriate professional. Whatever else may or may not be problematic with forum advice, it IS free.
Cindy O
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 165
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/14/2011 9:17:35 PM
cheer up, it is easier to get over them when they have moved on and there is no possibility of them coming back to you.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 166
The OP....Obviously has a screw lose...
Posted: 5/15/2011 8:17:28 AM

I really hope that some see what issues I have.


yup!


I have with the response trolls here and maybe can give a rational response to the question which is moot at this point as it has already been set straight by the ex who really finds the comments here hilarious.


Yes,your are very moot! And let's hope your ex, if there is such a person gives ya a couple extra bucks for your farce story.

I'll give you credit OP, as your troll was better then most. And for those who still shoot at the hip before reading the fine print & eating crow.

I did not bite on this thread,as misery loves company & for those still rehashing the past.
So my maybe all those therapy secessions are now paying off!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 167
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/15/2011 8:30:37 AM

Wow. You have taken a real
beating here.

I bet you will never post again.

Shame actually. That's why we have three
year old threads being brought up.


Finally the voice of reason.

Whether we agree with the OP or not, whether the OP will the the wisdom of others expressed here or not, in the end it does not matter. It is up to the OP to take some of this information and do something with it. There are a lot of things that do not make sense, but guess what. WE do not have to live with that. As crazy as it may sound to us, and NORMAL to the OP, it is her life. So I agree here with Curlygirl. And to the OP, take what is of value and ignore the rest. Perhaps also print some of this stuff, and read it again in a year. Life will have new meaning after that time.

An old post of mine was resuscitated after a year, and my perspective on the subject has changed slightly. Perhaps I can see now what I could not see then.
 gardenias2
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 168
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 12:08:02 AM
and i think it is as simple as the fact that she is going thru a divorce which means she is learning to disengage from her ex and create a new life. it isn't always a clean break especially when the ex needs help.

she's learning. thats what we humans do from birth to death.

posters here have been brutally rude. it's a shame. compassion would have been so much more appropriate.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 169
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 4:02:10 AM
^^^^^ Nah, trolls don't deserve compassion....
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 170
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 7:26:09 AM
My personal opinion OP- never ever start another thread. Ever. Never. Not worth it. Unless it is in the recipe forum.


You couldn't be more correct. I personally wouldnt ask the people here what's the best type of detergent to use. One poster calls the OP a moron and in the same sentence says "your an attention seeking...." That would be you're, before you call somone a moron learn the language. My divorce took 2 years to become final. We had a house together, I am sure I left things behind. It doesnt make a statement to anything other than my procrastination. Op, I think we both know what you learned by posting here.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 171
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The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 8:18:22 AM
Half my family lives in Canada and my Mom has never had to go there to care for one of her sisters after a surgery. Canadian health care provides carers. So the last person you would need to call is your Ex wife living in America. How exactly do you leave work for weeks to care for an Ex husband? Do you work? If you have no job and are not divovced yet how exactly did you get a visa lasting 5 years to live in the US?
No fear that they will not allow you back over the border?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 172
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 10:44:15 AM
Carolann
You do bring up some good points that concern facts and logistics.
The OPs profile lists a US residence-unless she means she lives in Canada and the residence listed is her ex's-where she is staying.
If she is a US resident, FMLA MIGHT cover the situation, as the man with the broken collarbone is legally still her husband.
As to the whole visa thing, I couldn't begin to guess.
We may not GET answers to these questions-the OPs profile makes reference to being banned from the forums.
Go figure.
However, the thread does bring out some interesting discussion about letting go, and establishing/re-establishing boundaries. I have no doubt that similar scenarios abound-maybe not exactly as described here, but I'm sure that it CAN be difficult to let go/move on/respect NEW boundaries when a divorcing couple has things that tie them together-children, perhaps property or business interests, a continuation of affection for mutual friends and/or each others' families. We certainly don't like to see the other side of the divorce coin either, where all is anger, hatred, revenge.
But yes this is, as I said before, such an odd situation...and certain elements do not seem to line up, do they?
Cindy O
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 173
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/16/2011 11:00:02 AM
It is quite possible since her mother lives in the US (she is caring for her now) that she was a US citizen who married a Canadian. I'm pretty sure if that's the case she would be free to come and go as often as she wants.
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 174
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:33:00 AM
Did you move in with him or are you just stopping by to help him?

Your fiance is OK with you spending time with your husband??

Why are you so concerned about who is involved with?? Why even ask? If you don't care why are you asking? He has a broken collar bone. Not two. I am sure he can use his phone right? He can contact anyone he wants right. I mean he was able to call you to come help him right?

It seems like YOU are curious to know who he is dealing with out of jealousy? Are you divorcing because you suspected he cheated or dishonesty issues?? Maybe he doesn't want to tell you anything because he will know you'll get mad and probably not help him. Because you will probably say, "Well can you call that b*tch to come help you then..".

Suggestion: Mind your business. If you are going to help, just help and quit trying to be all up in his business. Just doesn't seem like you moved on. I think it's crazy that you are engaged while married. SMH.
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 175
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/17/2011 6:47:06 AM

The Ex...............Obviously has a ..............stalker?



Yeah...searching thru his drawers. So willing to be all up in his home and leaving the fiance behind to do so. Asking him who he's talking to/dating etc.

She can care less about his collar bone. She came back to snoop and is desperately trying to see if her stock fell and why.

I feel sorry for her fiance. I wish I would run back to help an ex with anything. If she had said no, I am sure he would have found a way.

Why does it take 5 yrs to get a divorce anyways??
 LoveHelper143
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 176
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/17/2011 7:03:29 AM

I left him because he had a long term relationship while we were married.


I knew this was the case. Are you are still trying to find out who this other woman is? Is that's why you are so dead bent on him calling someone. You are not divorcing simply because yall agreed or because you wanted to. He cheated on you. Are you feeling jealous, and/or inadequate? That might explain why you dropped your finace to run back home to your ex.

Now I can understand why he cheated in the first place to be honest.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 177
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/18/2011 4:12:10 PM
Sorry guys, I'm with Curly. Lotsa real meanness as well as what feels like deliberate misunderstanding on this thread. Towards the OP *and* her ex. There are lots of ways to say, "Prolly never going to find out why." But somehow only the cruelest and rudest were found (for the most part). I've started threads that contained questions that were only mildly interesting to me. One doesn't have to have a *burning concern* to do so. I've sometimes even just started thread because the forums are dying, and I'd rather that didn't happen. They used to be soooooooo good. . . .

 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 178
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/19/2011 1:56:24 PM

I broke my clavicle and got back on my bicycle to finish the ride. That’s one seriously broken collar bone if the guy is so desperate he has his ex move back in to help him out.


I broke mine and was taken by ambulance. That weekend I ran a half marathon with a harness. I also had a broken finger so as I crossed the finish line in my photo it looks like me giving the world the finger.

I think we all agreed that the OP has issues and while some kept harping on her, I am with Curly, that it would be best to put it to rest.
 gardenias2
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 179
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/19/2011 1:58:29 PM
^^^^^^^good idea and thank you.
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 180
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/20/2011 8:01:30 AM
The total disintegration of a thread. So it has come to the point where you are really saying you can do more with your ouchie than he did with his and find the need to tell it to strangers on the internet? Really?

Hell, I did the Hawaiian triatholon in a total body cast!!! The swiming was a ****.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 181
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/20/2011 8:43:36 AM

Hell, I did the Hawaiian triatholon in a total body cast!!! The swiming was a ****.


No sweat. You consume enough EPO and you can use nothing but your tongue for propulsion.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 182
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/20/2011 9:48:29 AM

No sweat. You consume enough EPO and you can use nothing but your tongue for propulsion.

Or eat a lot of mexican food the night before.
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 183
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/20/2011 2:12:08 PM
Yes I understand how they got there. However, I dont recall the OP asking anybody's opinion on whether or not she should help. I believe she was asking advise on how to handle a situation that arose because of her stay there.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 184
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The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/21/2011 10:30:26 AM

I believe she was asking advise on how to handle a situation that arose because of her stay there.


And many of the answers are telling her to mind her own business, none of her business.
The only "situation" was one made by the OP.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 185
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The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/21/2011 10:39:10 AM
I wonder if OP is still there, trying figure out who her ex is seeing behind her back? :laugh:
 lilcontrary
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 186
The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/21/2011 10:30:26 PM
Hi all.. I am still here.. just was not able to pull up the thread until tonight??? It was in cyber limbo.. originally thought I was in cyber limbo until a fellow poster said "Yes it is still going on... dont bother reading." lol I didnt look for it but when I got back to POF tonight I saw it.

Will respond when life lets me...
M.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 187
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The Ex....Obviously has a lover...
Posted: 5/22/2011 7:31:12 AM

I wonder if OP is still there, trying figure out who her ex is seeing behind her back?


Only when she feels the need to control this thread as well..there are some major problems there..
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