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 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 67
Am I over reacting?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
OP
Yes I think your over-reacting and seem to have a need to be put on a pedestal..........you hardly know this guy....... I have to agree with what most everyone else has said........
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 68
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Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/10/2011 7:06:10 AM
Msg.66:
Now I got it why YOUNGER MEN ARE HITTING ON OLD WOMEN, I thought that young men are after tits & azz plus $$$$ but I was wrong, they are after their great attitude/mind on how they make their men special and not treating like a shyte because he forgot her birthday/ anniversary big deal.. complaining to him that she feel
bad that he is not kissing her Azz on her birthday as if he owes her the world.

An" old woman" when her birthday comes ,she'll cook special meal/cake for his man and tell him it is her birthday,she did not make him guilty instead she make him a special guest on her birthday, hey,she like bling bling/travel, better than a cheap flowers and that's what she got.
When their Anniversary comes she'll give her man a special gift and say Happy Anniversary Honey!!!* Not all men remember birthdays, anniversaries, ect,,*they have important things to do ,like their job,child support,of course they can vividly remember football game day and time ,beer bonding with buddies, but old women don't fault them for that.
Now you know,why young men just want to shagg young women , and they do old women for keeps..

<div class="quote"> seriously no wonder your (you're) that age and still on a dating website,no one like a negative person.
Frankly my dear, most of us have BFs we are only here for the forums...
Meh I would rather have a man who forgot birthdays, anniversay,christmas,new year but he carry his weight around the house , and put beef steaks on the table.

Vannili
PS You can demand to your father to put YOU on a pedestal and kowtow to you, but not somebody's son.. He doesn't owe you anything..
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 69
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/10/2011 7:43:58 AM

to all the old women laughing at the fact shes upset he never cared for their anniversary, seriously no wonder your that age and still on a dating website, no one likes a negative person, especially a rude one.. and to liebejenni, the birthday thing in unacceptable, he should want to make you feel special. about the anniversary thing, i don't think its stupid.. its a fun excuse to go out and have time together. I say you explain to him how you feel, and if he doesn't get it, leave him before you get too attached , there's always "plenty of fish" in the sea
Welcome to the forums Alexandramarymae. If this is your first post in these forums, I personally can't wait to see your second.
 foreverstacey
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 70
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:02:54 AM

Who the hell under 45 needs extra help meeting people?


To be fair, times are different NOW than they were when most of the over 45ers were 18. Personally, I don't know one person my age (24) that HASN'T tried internet dating. Sooooo... yeah. Just remember, things aren't the same anymore.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 71
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:24:44 AM

i guess your babyshoot must be lined with gold and smell just like beef jerky


BEEF JERKY ????????????????????

No thanks !

I'll pass on that !

 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 72
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Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:25:11 AM
LUV YA cowgirl & Petunia

When I was 17 I have a mind of a 50 years woman ,I was not born that way , a
Spanish Duchess taught me that you don't demand the attention or material things from a man but make him special person and he'll you give the kingdom..

Now that I am 59,not bad of what I am and what I got..
 quantumenergy
Joined: 5/6/2010
Msg: 73
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:37:22 AM
Where I went to college, an anniversary marks the date of one year----12 months, 52 weeks or 365 days (except 366 on Leap Year).

Ok, so maybe I'm a little bit of a wise ass with that comment--yet with the intent of humor, some truth is said in jest. I wonder if getting a sense within yourself----ask yourself this question: Am I looking to measure milestones----day/month/date----or truly giving of myself into this relationship? Do I feel better as a person when with this guy? Am I proving something by staying with him if I don't feel more empowered and supported as a person?

Perhaps the guy doesn't count your first date to mark in his life---he may have the perspective of the date when he decided to stick with you for awhile and explore developing your relationship. Maybe offer him a gentle reminder----in a friendly, NOT nagging way--of what you enjoyed on your "First Date" and mention that day, month and year---see if he catches on :)

Best of luck!
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 74
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:45:09 AM

to all the old women laughing at the fact shes upset he never cared for their anniversary,

Old is relative sweetheart and it comes with experience and you have a LONG way to go.
If you READ the posts then maybe you'd understand that an anniversary is something celebrated at each YEAR, not once a daym month.


seriously no wonder your that age and still on a dating website, no one likes a negative person, especially a rude one.


I think it's weirder for an 18-year-old to be on a dating site than for a middle-aged woman.
Yep that about covers it.
There is a difference between being rude and answering the OP's questions HONESTLY, but I'm guessing at your young self righteous age you still don't know the difference.


he should want to make you feel special.

The key word here is WANT.


about the anniversary thing, i don't think its stupid.. its a fun excuse to go out and have time together.

If you were OLD and feeble (lol) you'd realize we don't need EXCUSES to go out and have fun.



 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 75
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:03:29 PM
@cowgirl & @petunias...I am still laughing my azz off and wiping the tears of hilarity...Thanks for the good laughs!
 Penpal46
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 76
Well you are reacting..
Posted: 6/10/2011 10:37:15 PM
to something that bothers you. Try to remember that you are dating another human being that is not your clone. He cannot read your mind and what is important to you may not be to him.
If it is that important to you then talk to him about it, give him a calendar with the significance of each date on it and don't expect a marching band for every single anniversary. Just remember that if he makes it a priority he still won't know what you think is a suitable celebration level or gift for each occasion.
If he doesn't think its important than you will have to decide how much your three month anniversary means to you. Fact is some people remember and some don't. I never remembered an anniversary and never forgot a birthday! We are all different but don't waste your time playing games. If you want him to know just tell him. Don't play the silly "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you!" games.
One last point. Don't expect a chick flick romance. They don't show you the bloopers or the "happily ever after part" for a reason. Love isn't glamorous or even fun most times. It is endless compromise, forgiveness and negotiation interrupted by occasional bouts of tenderness and laughter.
It's not his job to validate you or yours to validate him. Just enjoy the time you have when you have it.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 77
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/11/2011 1:58:27 PM

Honestly, I wouldn't have been upset if he showed me appreciation. After all I do for him, he treated it like a normal day. Speaks volumes how he feels about me, doesn't it?


And you made plans to spend time with your friends. He would be allowed to tag along...if he wanted.

Speaks volumes how you feel about him...doesn't it?


Okay, I did have plans for my birthday. I was going to a lounge with friends and he was invited and made an excuse not to come.


I would do the same. You guys barely know each other and I'm sure he know them even less. Nothing like being a spare tire listening to countless memories and inside jokes to which you have no clue or ability to participate.

You made plans...and he was incidental. He has a life too.

You made him second fiddle but he should consider you first chair.

 Penpal46
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 78
Hey that was a great point.
Posted: 6/11/2011 2:25:32 PM
It is a matter of perception and you need to stop trying to pick "who's right" but its good to see everyones perspective.
 poferette
Joined: 2/11/2011
Msg: 79
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/11/2011 4:43:23 PM
He can't have sex with you and is going to stag parties...why do you want him?
 4asongkc
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 80
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Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/16/2011 9:55:40 AM
3 months? Yeah, you're probably over-reacting about the 3 month anniversary thing. Your birthday? Now that would have been nice of him to remember (assuming that he was made aware in the first place), but again, I wouldn't get into a twist over it at this point.
 AshleyShapira
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 81
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/16/2011 1:50:27 PM
Yes, you are overreactingYou're 20 years old so you still think a month is cause for celebration, isnt that kind of high school? In grown up land 1 year is cause for celebration. That is after all the dictionary defenition of anniversary "the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event". The birthday thing isn't as bad, did you do the typical girl thing and tell him not do anything for your birthday when you really meant for him to? If not then it's understandable that you'd be bugged but 3 months in you can't expect him to be super into that sort of thing OR he may not be THAT into you.
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 82
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/16/2011 3:17:38 PM

Okay, I did have plans for my birthday. I was going to a lounge with friends and he was invited and made an excuse not to come. It's not that I expect something on our 'anniversaries' it's just that I do everything for him and on my birthday, I figured he'd show some appreciation.

I've always paid my way, and more than half the time paid for him as well, he's never 'paid me back'. I always pick him up to go out, he doesn't have a vehicle. I feel like he's taking advantage of me, and I figured after all I've done for him these past months he could at least throw something together for my birthday.


OK people, it's quite obvious the OP cannot hear us, as she has stuffed her ears with pacifiers.

Baby, baby, baby..... You have no right being in a relationship if you feel this young lad OWES you ANYTHING. Three months and already you're pluralizing "anniversaries"?!?! Wow..............

Get off the dating train before you run yourself over. Plenty of time to grow up before you mess up some perfectly sweet young man... and the rest of the female population his age has to deal with the fall out.

"all I've done for him these past months..." BWAHAHAHAHA!!! *ahem. sorry.....



bullie~
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 83
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Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/16/2011 3:27:39 PM
wow,
the nerve of the guy!
he should be calling you every minute of every day and showering you with gifts to avow his love for you.
in fact,
after three months of a rock solid relationship he should also have set a date for your marriage.

he's definitely a loser,
so,
lose him!...
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 84
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/16/2011 3:43:38 PM
^^^^^^^ LMAO
Did you get that ring yet??


 icboobs
Joined: 6/11/2010
Msg: 85
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/17/2011 3:26:19 AM
The next time he (or your future boyfriend) has a birthday or some other anniversary, buy him a nice gift and spoil him with attention and affection. Then calmly explain to him that this is how you want to be treated and how you want to feel on your birthdays and anniversaries. Tell him that it is a major pet peeve for boyfriend's to not give gifts on anniversaries. Then enjoy the rest of your day or evening, and then wait to see what he does the next time you have an important date. If things don't work out between you and him, you have the rest of your life ahead of you and you can learn from this experience and apply what you learned in your new relationship. I wish people wouldn't be so harsh on here. It's one of the reasons I left POF Forums a few years ago.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 86
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Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/17/2011 8:00:17 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ And now you're back, You missed the harshness of the people here Lol...
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 87
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:24:14 PM

The next time he (or your future boyfriend) has a birthday or some other anniversary, buy him a nice gift and spoil him with attention and affection. Then calmly explain to him that this is how you want to be treated and how you want to feel on your birthdays and anniversaries. Tell him that it is a major pet peeve for boyfriend's to not give gifts on anniversaries. Then enjoy the rest of your day or evening, and then wait to see what he does the next time you have an important date. If things don't work out between you and him, you have the rest of your life ahead of you and you can learn from this experience and apply what you learned in your new relationship.


Wow........ this insight from a young man just over 30. I'm impressed. How often do you see anyone this age who knows anything about BOUNDARY SETTING?!?



BRAVO!!!!! *claps hands*
 doglover11
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 88
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Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/17/2011 1:47:13 PM
OK sorry I don't agree with any of these people on here ... or at least the first dozen I read -

First of all - I do agree, that unless you are goo-goo-ga-ga (both of you) over each other I would not expect a man to remember a 3 mth. anniversary ... let that one go ...

Your Birthday is another matter all together!!! When you say you are in an "exclusive relationship" I ASSUME you are, and have been, intimate (it's none of my bees wax but if SO) - you're damn straight he should have remembered your birthday!!! It's a RELATIONSHIP, an intimate relationship and if your significant other doesn't remember your birthday??!! Seriously? One person on here said YOU should have planned something - REALLY? I can't believe it. If you're good enough to hit the sheets with I'm assuming there must be some emotional connection and if so, why the heck didn't this guy KNOW your birthday and take YOU out and make some romantic plans?

Girlfriend, you don't plan your OWN birthday dinner with your BOYFRIEND who you are EXCLUSIVE WITH ... I'm sorry ... you are not over reacting in the least on that one ... (believe me, if he's not romantic a mere 3 months into the relationship, it aint gonna get any better!!!)

As for the 3 month anniversary if you are that crazy about the guy I say acknowledge each month that goes by if you want to! (Don't expect him to though - and don't let all these other nay-sayers get ya down and dampen your happiness) ... being in love is the greatest feeling ever and if you're that excited, like you were in high school, more power to ya ... (again don't expect him to acknowledge the monthly ones tho - he's a man) ...

HOWEVER, some guy that thinks saying, "Happy Birthday" on your special day is adequate (someone who you are in an exclusive relationship with) and does nothing more - I'm not so sure is deserving of your enthusiasm ....

Doglover11
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 89
Am I over reacting?
Posted: 6/17/2011 2:07:43 PM
I've celebrated "anniversaries" that weren't a full year.
I still do. Sometimes jokingly, sometimes seriously. I think
it depends on who you're in a relationship with. That can be
an issue with some people so I wouldn't make a big deal out of
it and if someone doesn't share my enthusiasm for such
ocassions, I'm alright with that.

I don't things for anyone with an agenda in mind, but yeah,
I make a big deal out of birthdays and everyone I know knows
this. So if someone I was in an exclusive relationship with (even
after 3 months) didn't see the significance of my birthday, I'd be
put off. Not that I expect anything huge or tons of gifts or a parade,
but yeah, acknowledgement is nice.

Not everyone is the same. Someone who is used to sharing "anniversaries"
with someone (using their definition) and birthdays as well is going to be
disappointed with someone who doesn't have the same feelings on the matter.

So this guy is not for you. Pretty simple. Doesn't make you an entitled princess
or anything else, just makes you incompatible with this guy. He's not going to
change, he doesn't see things the way you do. Find someone who does.

People seem to find 3 months insignificant. But if you're in an exclusive
relationship with someone, you're having sex with them regularly, it seems
pretty significant to me. Apparently it's okei to spend a lot of time with someone,
have sex with someone, but jaysus, until you reach some milestone current with
everyone else's expectations, don't expect any acknowlegement of said
relationship.
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