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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 26
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Cant find a datePage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Go get a profile review........your profile reads very "in your face" attitude.


YOU have put an image out there......
you are overweight, tattoes, piercings and bisexual.
You adopt different personalities.

I agree with the others.......you need to find out who YOU are first......
get your head on straight.....take control of your own life.
If you think you can't talk to your family.......talk to someone else.

Be proactive and stop whining about it all.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 27
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/26/2011 8:53:21 PM
Okay then, interesting read , well first thing is you're 19 years old with a kid, most guys your age basically has two emotions horny and hungry.

Second, I understand being a rebel, but all those piercing? you have any more piercing you will look like a chandelier.

Third, your profile will most guys your age will go WTF? and do the Hillbilly Shuffle aka Run Forest Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

You really want to find a friend on here you will make your profile simple and approachable, you kid are not approachable.

You live in NewFoundland, one of the nicest provinces and has some of the most friendliest folks in the nation next to PEI and folks from New Brunswick , how is it that you cannot find a single friend? Im amazed.
 tynusthree
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 28
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:02:23 PM
for one if you havent noticed most people posting on here are not your age, i am a 20 year old male and all im looking for someone to settle down with now. ive had my fair share.

keep looking on the bright side and be who you are, these fake ass people telling you to fix your profile are nuts. they live a lie and cover their flaws with fairy tail bullshit. its all in due time hun.

guys my age generally arnt looking for a girl with a child but there are guys out there just looking, if there is extra "baggage" that comes along with it so be it, you will be chosen for who you are not who you were.

keep your head up and dont listen to these hypocritical people
 Happy2beeme2010
Joined: 11/11/2010
Msg: 29
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:05:59 PM
Hi Gamer Girl! I am sure there will be someone for u. U just need to be patient (I know u've heard that already). I am not at all familiar with ur location so I don't know what to reccommend as far as dating goes. You do have to realize that u come with a lot of baggage for an immature guy to handle. Let's face it all guys r immature (I think I read somewhere that they don't start to mature until 24 or 25). U have a child, sexual abuse in ur past, ur bisexual and have autism. That is a lot for one person to deal with by urself - now a guy is supposed to deal with it too??? I know u said it is hard for u to talk with ur family, but maybe u could try writing down what u need to say and then asking them to read it (or printing the stuff from this forum for them to read). I have a stepdaughter who also is bisexual and had a really hard time finding her place and a mate. You will get there! Please try to be patient and reach out to ppl to talk to, maybe a autism, single parent and/or rape support group - if u can't find it in ur area u can look online). Best of luck to u dear! Keep ur chin up :)
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 30
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:11:40 PM

keep looking on the bright side and be who you are, these fake ass people telling you to fix your profile are nuts. they live a lie and cover their flaws with fairy tail bullshit. its all in due time hun.

guys my age generally arnt looking for a girl with a child but there are guys out there just looking, if there is extra "baggage" that comes along with it so be it, you will be chosen for who you are not who you were.
Oh that is sweet,Im almost in tears yeah okay, lets come back to this planet, you're in California, this young lady lives in Canada, thats great that you can give her some ahem * advice* but she's asked why no one is emailing her, are you emailing her?

Do you have anymore advice for her like perhaps how to melt cheese in the microwave or how to avoid eating scooby snacks?
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 1/4/2011
Msg: 31
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 2:52:52 AM
OP~ many of the regular posters on this site only have the harshness of reality to present to you. Many choose not to be empathetic nor sympathetic to someone reaching out for help. You obviously have a support group through your local congregation; utilize that reasource. I know you feel lonely but this site is not the place to find the support you need. Counseling is always a good option for anyone. Maybe you can try finding a local book club to join, or find a cafe that has an open poetry mic night~ That way you can possibly find others with your same passion for writing. Any socialization outside your home is good even if its having a cup of coffee at a book store. Get out and meet new different people! Good luck to you darlin' I wish you the best.
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 32
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Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 5:39:48 AM
Here's my profile review...

First I see a few things that glare up at me that you probably can't change but don't make you all that much of a catch at 19. You have kids, you want kids, you don't have a car and your profession is listed as author. To me that pretty much means you probably don't have an income and if I were to go out with you I'd be pretty much driving to your place to pick you up and driving you back. Like I said, not too much you can easily do about those things, but you asked.


But beware I do have a little of a bad side so please don't be rude or Ignorant because I have no tolerance of those kinds of people.

Are you really threatening people here? Warning them that you'll slash their tires if they don't say please and thank you?


I go to church and I am planning on going back to collage for Writing. Everyone agrees I will be good at it. I love music. I like going to bars and listen to live bands and having a few beer with buddies. Not a big party girl. I go out to enjoy the night and get the most out of the night.

This could totally be just my opinion, but a writer should realize this is about 6 things that have nothing to do with each other and should really not be in the same paragraph together. I skimmed the rest of the profile and found where you could couple your writing and live band/bars/beer with a different paragraphs.


I love to dance. So if I go to a bar 9 chances out of 10 you will see me on the dance floor with a huge smile on my face just having a blast. I always say "you don't need to be drunk to have fun." and its so true.

There's something about this that sounds 19, which is a turn off for me but is dead on for you. So this part is good.


I mean who is having fun when your dunk and getting sick all over yourself

If its funny, alright, but try to avoid the humor that might be viewed as gross. And honestly, if you were trying at humor here, its not very funny. Needed a better setup I thinks.


yeah Like okay I may talk to you like I know you for years but I bet you any cash in my pocket I don't start out that way all the time.

This sentence drags on and loses me. You don't look like the type of girl that says "yah like okay" either and guys that are attracted to you may not like that alt-valley girl talk. Is this a good time to talk about caps, incomplete sentences, etc etc?


Only a few people I can talk to like they been my friends for years. Other people I tend to twiddle my fingers and be a non talkative girl for a moment until I start feeling like I can trust you with my true self.

I have to concentrate to read and understand this. If a guy is skimming over this stuff he might miss the whole point here. I could just be tired.


Yeah I have a daughter she is 2 love her with all my heart I do.

You did mention that you wanted to be a writer?


Not cool someone should do something about that.

Critique on pof, while entirely just, makes you look critical and may scare people away. As well as a paragraph of run on sentences from someone who strives to be a writer.


Please be patient its hard for me to communicate how I feel sometimes when this disability makes it hard for me to tell people how I feel.

Its hard for you to tell people how you feel because the disease makes it hard for you to tell people how you feel... How about you take it one of the "hard for me to tell you how I feel"'s? You don't need both and it sounds redundant.


Okay I like to read even though I don't seem like the type I do... and also I...

You start too many sentences out with Okay. You end too many of them with "I do." You also have a couple sentences that start with "and". If you end a sentence, please don't start another with a conjunction (is that the right word?)

Why wouldn't a striving author be the type of person that likes to read?


I got a Xbox 360 please don't bash I don't care if you think PS3 or wii is better I will always like the Xbox 360 no if's and's but's about it okay now lets move on already.

I've got an Xbox 360. Please don't bash me for it, I prefer it over the PS3 or the wii, but its cool if you disagree.
Saying you don't care about another's opinion is a good way to have them not send you an email. I think the phrase is "no if's and/or but's about it."


along. But top date Ideas that I will so say yes to are.

For some reason I like the start of the sentence with a conjunction (?) here, it doesn't bother me. However, when you're introducing a list of things, end the introduction with a colon ( this --> ":" ).

Last thing with your list which I normally wouldn't care about but you've got me in this stupid grammar mood now so I noticed it.

(more of a tea drinker if you like coffee that's fine)
Either add a "...but if you..." or use a semi-colon instead of "but." I like using semi-colons. Makes me feel smart. Its vain, I know.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 33
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 7:15:47 AM
This OP just keeps adding more, and more drama as this thread first started. I no longer feel bad for her, as a matter of fact I question if any of the content is real. Probably dated and got pregnant to young and now, life is dealing a deck of cards that cannot be kept up with. OP support your child, stop messing with people's feelings and figure out who you are before you mess with anyone's feelings. And if all this stuff is true you need way more help than a website can offer. Cut the nonsense. I am not buying it .
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 34
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 7:26:33 AM
The thought of being a parent at a young age scares people who are young and don't have any children yet. That you are the age that you are with a small child spells MAJOR RESPONSIBILITIES, even though you just want to date. I was already married with a child when I was your age, and it was soooo hard to understand that babies take love, they don't give it. With that being said, it is not about you right now, but about nurturing your baby. You have a really big responsibility on your hands and your mind shouldn't be on dating for the moment. You are already spending time with friends and that is good enough. Concentrate on your education as well. Being in college full or part time is not easy and dividing your time between that, a family, AND an SO, is hard.

Don't pretend to be someone you are not. If you are not naturally the person with all those different characteristics you really don't have, don't make believe just to get a man. Your life is as difficult as it's going to get without the added headaches.

@tynusthree:

You are right, most people answering this thread ARE older AND with world's more experience than you have. Go ahead and keep telling her things she wants to hear, as opposed to what she needs to know. At 20, you aren't any better off than she is. In fact, date her. That way, she can be just as ignorant as you.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 35
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History
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 7:38:24 AM
Are you sure you have not been on here before OP, left your BF in Toronto and moved back to NFLD to live with your family there? Had issues with your 'Nan'????
Sound at all familiar?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 7:59:03 AM
Girl, what you need is goals. Yes goals. What do you want out of life. A d ick is not going to solve it for you. Goal one. Provide for your child and find ways to improve how you provide for that child. That means go to school. Get a degree. Goal two. Improve self. Tattoos are not going to do it. More hardware is not going to do it. Do something physical. Start running. Start biking. Start playing volleyball. Start playing something. You will meet people there. You will thin out. That alone will change all the outcomes.
Goal number three. Start thinking positive. Negativity turns into more negativity. So you need to refocus your thoughts to positive things.

Here is an example:

Negative thinking:
Guys don't like me
They will not talk with someone with a child
I will never get a date
I hate all this so let's put another piercing

Positive thinking:
Where can I take my child so she can play outside
Where can I find other single parents
What is my child ready to learn
Oh look, people in my situation that want to be friends, cool.


It sounds simplistic. Because it can.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 37
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 8:04:19 AM

Cut the nonsense. I am not buying it .

My instincts are saying this is just a pathological liar... creating stories to increase attention and possibly sympathy. Not from me, sorry.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 38
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History
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 8:54:02 AM
I just looked up your city on the web and there are ten times more outdoor and practically free family events on near you as compared to where I live. How on earth can you be bored? Volunteer, start hiking or biking with the baby.
Join the YMCA you can go swimming with your baby $45 for lessons. They have a ton og babysitting, crafts and classes you can take. Get out there and meet some new people. Nothing will change until YOU change.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 39
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 10:27:22 AM
Autism.

That needs to be addressed.
Have you spoken to your doctor about this?
Have you looked for support groups?
Ones that can assist you and help you through difficult situations?

If you can't talk to your mom, then talk to a counselor.
There is a world of help out there ... you just have to find it.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 40
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Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 10:48:30 AM
Really you seem to be fine, I like your profile,you have been through a lot, your ambitious
many women have children at your age,just thought I would say you seem very real,I have been to 'the rock more time then i can count', people in your ure like to make a joke out of everything,now that is not to say i do not love newfs, my best friend in basic training was from, there and he is my only military friend i still keep contact with
so OK I am rambling,I do not think there is a problem .... just a dry spell
you seem like a lovely young woman, and get to be the best selling writer!
good luck, in everything you do!
 tickledpinkk
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 41
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Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 3:16:05 PM
I know how you feel, darlin. If you need a friend...private message me. Im a great listener. I may not have all the answers, but, I would never be rude either.
Some people just dont understand.
And I kind of feel exactly like you do...
:)
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 42
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Cant find a date
Posted: 6/27/2011 3:54:04 PM
Okay then, interesting read , well first thing is you're 19 years old with a kid, most guys your age basically has two emotions horny and hungry.

Second, I understand being a rebel, but all those piercing? you have any more piercing you will look like a chandelier.

Third, your profile will most guys your age will go WTF? and do the Hillbilly Shuffle aka Run Forest Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

You really want to find a friend on here you will make your profile simple and approachable, you kid are not approachable.

You live in NewFoundland, one of the nicest provinces and has some of the most friendliest folks in the nation next to PEI and folks from New Brunswick , how is it that you cannot find a single friend? Im amazed.


..and lose the attitude towards others who are trying to help you..geezz

If you post openly on a forum of this venue, you are going to get your feelings hurt..buck up some, don't hold back with your secrets .. You got raped, I'm sorry, we're all sorry. But, we didn't rape you, okay? You have Autism? Sorry about that, but again, the people here didn't cause it. I am sure whomever you meet you pull those out and flash them every time you are confronted with something you don't like. You can't use those as crutches to be a biotch about life. No one said it is going to be easy. You'll appreciate hardships later. You won't believe that now, but you will. I hope you have more patience with your child then you have with people you ask help from.
 Tia_Smiles
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 43
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Cant find a date
Posted: 6/28/2011 9:06:42 AM
the best thing? be yourself. don't act like an outgoing person if you're not. the truth will come out eventually, even if it doesn't the pretending will get exhausting. The same goes for pretending to be shy and submissive if you aren't.

when it comes down to it. live your life. be a good mother to your child and do the best for your family that you can. go to school find a reliable job that will give you a good future. i noticed that you want to be an author but i wouldnt suggest making it your main focus in schooling.

since ebooks are so popular it is near impossible to make a living off of writing alone and it takes a very long time to get to that point. maybe pick something secure that will compliment your love for writing. since you like video games maybe even video game design would be good. the best designers are very good story tellers as well.

i know that wasn't what your purpose for the thread was but it just seemed like you could use some guidance
 lAdyMirANDA
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 44
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/28/2011 9:57:21 PM
I read every post in this message thread. You sounded so much like me, and the comments you received sounded like ones people have been giving me for years. I understand why people get pissed off by the things you've said in this forum and verbally attack you by saying you're "only 19" and saying they think what you've told them is probably fake. Those people probably think you're just "feeling sorry for yourself" and "you need to get over this crap and move on." How many times have I heard that one? Too frickin many.
I think sometimes certain people have ingrained problems that occur because of bad experiences. Sexual assault, horrible family life. No one in the family ever frickin listens or understands, or even pretends to care. Then friends get tired of you being negative and sad and they stop talking to you as well. Then you're left with all these dreams for your life, want to be a writer, want to be a good person and be liked for being that person, want to have the life you always wanted, but all these horrible thoughts plague you from achieving what you want. And it's hard to get those thoughts out.
I want you to know that though I don't have autism, and I wasn't actually raped, I feel what you feel. I want to be a writer, too. I want to finish college too, and hopefully meet someone genuine.
I'm not going to say you're 19 and that's your problem because I'm 19 too. I'm not going to say that you're just negative and you need to think more positively. I'm not going to say that all these people who were being ****es on this forum were right or wrong. What I have to say is: ask yourself what do you want? Who do you want to be? Is the person you see when you look in the mirror-this person with these tattoos and piercings who probably gets odd stares from others, this person who likes to write and read and play video games and whatever else you like to do--is this the person you always wanted to be? If not, you have to find a way to become the person you want to be. And you must stop wondering what other people think about you. To hell with the people who say you "look weird" or whatever because of your tats and rings. People like different things. I know several people who are totally into tats and piercings and they think its awesome. So those people would be good for you to hang out with.
But the answer is not in "joining" clubs or whatever else people suggested. I joined a book club and we meet once a month, and yes it makes me very happy to be with people who like what I like. But it hasn't changed my depressed thoughts too much. What does help is changing your thought processes, and maybe seeing a counselor, which I've started doing.
To be honest, the answer to all your questions is self-confidence. I'm no expert on men and relationships, but I do know that if I had been more self-confident, with a higher respect and love for myself, I would not have pushed away someone I loved deeply. I think men appreciate women who are confident in who they are. A lot of people enjoy the company of self-confident individuals. This includes being confident and loving with not only men but your friends and everyone.
Also, I want to point out that anyone who truly wants you or loves you will never judge you by the way you look. The only way to meet someone who deserves you and will treat you right is to be yourself with them. Tell them straight up that you like to do this, and you don't do that, and make it clear the first time you speak.
Once you start forcing positive thoughts into your head (even when you think they're stupid and overly optimistic bullshit that isn't going to happen,) and look within yourself and discover who you are, and love that person for all the good and all the bad you've ever felt or done, then you will have better luck with relationships.
A relationship is not a "he completes me" thing. A relationship is not two halves make a whole. It's "two partners make a team."
The reason I'm on this website is not because I want to settle down. Far from it. There are so many things I want to do before I go out into the world. I'm really here just to talk to different people, to possibly date and care about someone for as long as I have until I'm moving on to other things in my life. That may not be the same for you. You may already be willing to settle down and start a family with your child and a husband. I can understand that. But if it doesn't happen when you want it to, that's Fate saying it's not supposed to happen yet. For now, live your life to the best of your abilities. Figure out what you want, seek it out and try hard to achieve it. And if you don't get to date anybody, that's fates way of saying you just aren't meant to do that yet. But later you might be. And while you're waiting, and hating to wait, and trying to do all these things, and trying to as they say "grow up," whenever you're feeling lonely, just pick up your baby and hold him or her. Give as much love as you can give to people, because the only way to receive any love back is to first give it.
So maybe you should go searching for men on here and if you like one message him and if he doesn't message back, oh well. Try someone else. (Like I said, you have to give first and receive later.) Eventually someone may message you back and you may be able to talk to him and start something. (Even if the person who messages you is someone you would totally not want to go out with, at least message him back and be nice to him because being nice will get you further than deleting people without a chance of knowing him. Plus you could develop a new friendship.)
Always remember to follow your heart and accept that sometimes what's best for you is not what you want.
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 45
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History
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/29/2011 5:58:26 AM
Okay, oddly enough, in between all of the catch phrases and dense text, Miranda had a few points to highlight.

Think positively about yourself. I've fallen for girls just because of their smile before and if you're happy with yourself, you'll show it.

If you have a problem with thinking positively about yourself, seek counseling. More than likely this is going to be the case and can't hurt, so you may just want to jump into that other than trying for 6 months/a year or two trying it alone. You have issues, issues in your mind, that need to be addressed.

Not sure that using your baby to bandaid your loneliness is a good idea. Your baby's not a dog, might be shoving some of your issues on him/her. Don't quote me though, just a theory.

I try to message everyone back that says more than, "Hey, you're cute, how are you?" Being nice may have some subconscious self reflection to it. Err, what I mean is if you're nice, you view yourself as nice and feel better about yourself.
 The_Gamer_Girl
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 46
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/29/2011 3:55:55 PM
Thank you Miranda and I know I want to be the girl who writes books and plays games and has the tats and rings I have. I love my look and I did not mutilate my self as someone said I did. I know this guy in church who me and I have a great friendship. we go to coffee we are so comfortable talking when we are alone in his car when he drives me home from youth every scatter time he dose so I am thinking now its tome to confess to him that I like him more then a friend. I have good feelings about this and I am just Way to shy to tell him but when I see him again I am going to muster up all my courage that I have and say "Hey Ernst I have something to say. Over the last little while I been thinking and I feel feelings for you that are stronger then just friend feelings." maybe he feels the same way and like me is way to shy to tell me that he feels the same. I got to tell him I like him in the way of boyfriend and girlfriend or else I could lose him and he might just see me as a friend forever.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 47
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/29/2011 4:05:48 PM
OP: I don't think acting different roles will do it. You're not a character in a novel. You're you. Better to be honest. However there are a couple of things I'm sure will help. 1. Stop eating. 2. Smile. If you can't smile try therapy or rent a bunch of funny videos. Best of luck.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 48
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/30/2011 4:44:19 AM
I hate to be brutally honest but here goes...change your hair style, drop a few lbs./kilos and go back to school...once u improve yourself..others will come..
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 49
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/30/2011 10:32:20 AM

I know this guy in church who me and I have a great friendship. we go to coffee we are so comfortable talking when we are alone in his car when he drives me home from youth every scatter time he dose so I am thinking now its tome to confess to him that I like him more then a friend. I have good feelings about this and I am just Way to shy to tell him but when I see him again I am going to muster up all my courage that I have and say "Hey Ernst I have something to say. Over the last little while I been thinking and I feel feelings for you that are stronger then just friend feelings." maybe he feels the same way and like me is way to shy to tell me that he feels the same. I got to tell him I like him in the way of boyfriend and girlfriend or else I could lose him and he might just see me as a friend forever.
No, No, No dont come right out and ask him, that's like asking a person " can I kiss you?" no no no.

Ask him would he like to go to dinner and Im assuming you know him well enough to figure what his favorite types of food is, and find a place that caters to his particular tastes.

Dinner is a easy way of easing into things and breaking the ice, nothing beats a possible romantic moment with good food, good company with some ambiance
 MizzTifa
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 50
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/30/2011 10:42:24 AM
That is rather blunt and It seems they want her for physical appearence. Whereas, It is good to look nice but obviously we all know that what's on the inside that matters the most [:

but yeah, I'm a gamer chick too, and believe it or not..It is hard for me to find someone without being a "BootyCall" as they say.
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