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Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 51
Cant find a datePage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Thanks. Could I maybe step it up and say first go to coffee and then while at coffee ask him if he has any plans after and go to dinner. Like hint to him at first by asking him to coffee and then ask the "Want to go to dinner after." Also he being a gentle men he would probably ask me where I want to go and me being not all that picky on where we go for dinner will say "well where would like to go for dinner." I know a nice fancy Chinese food spot up where my mom used to work I like the food there and its a nice quite spot since me and my friend hate Noisy and crowded places.

And as for people saying to change my hair style and stop eating and to lose weight. First of all I am not all that big. Maybe naturally husky but if you seen how little junk food I eat and noticed I walk every day of my life you will take back the "Stop eating." and "drop the pounds." 2 If you don't like my hair style that's fine not everyone is going to like it but that don't mean Everyone else don't find it attractive or cute or ugly as I am getting from the person who told me to change my looks. I love it and a lot of people love it too and I find more people seem to want to talk to me just to comment on how nice my hair looks. My long hair gave me problems. way to frizzy. Hard to handle gets way to tangled on windy days and also always in my eyes. Hence why I cut it off short and it suits me. Not only is it good to experiment and to try things on for size its also good to know you like something about you a cretin way. I hate long hair and its going to stay short so sorry if you don't like me there are plenty of people out there and I will find the right one. I don't need someone bringing me down just because I am Naturally Big and like my hair short.
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 52
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/30/2011 12:23:03 PM
You can ask him to coffee first and talk about the Chinese restaurant/food and see if he asks you to go there, play it cool though, make him think it his idea to ask you out,if he's the gentleman you say he is, he wants to be the one to ask, and he's probably trying to figure out if you like him.

When you go for coffee just get him to open up and make some mental notes, im sure you know this but get him to talk about him self, his likes, dislikes, favorite foods etc, try not to talk about yourself or your child to monopolize the conversation, unless he's interested in knowing about you and your child and your dreams on being a writer.

Have fun and dont stress your self
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 53
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/30/2011 12:28:45 PM
I completely agree with Iceman.

It kinda sounds like desprite but! I'm not judging :D
Uhm, Yeah it also seems you like to take charge. Coffee would be the ideal place to get to know one another.
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 54
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/30/2011 12:34:12 PM
I will see him tonight and we talk a lot when he drives me home. We talked about some things that scared us in the past and I found out he is a bit of a gamer, also I know he likes reading to help him sleep and his dislikes for the "Hooligans" around our malls and for crowds and noise so we share quite a bit in common. So tonight I will ask him to coffee again but where he works we might not get out to do that as soon as we would like to.

And thanks MizzTifa :3
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 55
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/30/2011 12:46:41 PM
So which is it? In the beginning of this thread, you state:

I just find it disturbing nobody wants to talk to me and they all ignore me when I try to talk to them and get to know them as friends or something more.

Then a few posts later when someone suggests that you might want to consider making yourself more attractive to the opposite sex, you blow up and claim:

I love it and a lot of people love it too and I find more people seem to want to talk to me just to comment on how nice my hair looks.

You're not willing to listen to possible suggestions and instead, shoot everything down, so why should anyone bother to offer suggestions?
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 56
Cant find a date
Posted: 6/30/2011 10:27:46 PM
i hope things worked out tonight!! some people are so rude :\ wish the best for you!!!
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 57
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 3:06:19 AM
You left out being raped??

OK...I still say pity post.
Can't find a date, I have low self esteem, NOW was raped..
Keep changing your personality to try and find a match online is reeking of needing more therapy.

Online, Really ??? As a raped person..Does that make sense to you?
Do you know what is online and how easy it is to lie..Oh yes you do Sybil.

Change therapist..
Join support groups for raped people, single parents, people with esteem issues.

any advice for this. and Also should I bring my little one to church I know some of my friends who are not all that much older then me bring their kids along.

You can't decide on your own if you should take a child to church..

Post that in the single parents forum.
Separate question.

Dating after rape..Thread search..or start a new one.

Rules also state ONE topic per thread. Since you are reporting..Report yourself.
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 58
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:15:43 AM

And as for people saying to change my hair style and stop eating and to lose weight.

In your opening post, you asked:

What do I do to make any guy out there want to talk to me and be friends with me and maybe something more?

You got answers.

First of all I am not all that big. Maybe naturally husky but if you seen how little junk food I eat and noticed I walk every day of my life you will take back the "Stop eating." and "drop the pounds.

Well ok. You can keep asking the same question over and over, but you aren't going to eventually get a magic answer that makes the advice to lose a few pounds irrelevant. That's just reality.

If you don't like my hair style that's fine not everyone is going to like it but that don't mean Everyone else don't find it attractive or cute o

Correct. But your question was how to get more guys to find you attractive. The reason you're here is that you aren't happy with the number of guys you're attracting. Again, you don't have to listen. Personally, if shaving my head to form the letter Q would have been a lady killer, I'd have shaved a Q shaved into my head. I really couldn't care less what my hair looks like to me. However, if you want to make a fashion statement, then accept the dating pool to which you limit yourself by your own choice.

Ditto for the hardware. I have nothing against a little hardware. I used to wear seven earrings and a stud or ring in my nose. HOWEVER, I accepted what other people thought about that and how that might have limited me. That being said, the lip ring seems pretty limiting, Maybe it isn't at your age. It's more limiting than not having a lip ring, though.

Ditto for the ink. I doubt a little ink that isn't too distracting would be a problem. Covering yourself in ink would.

I hate long hair and its going to stay short

There's nothing wrong with short hair. My fiancee's hair is short, although it's a little longer than yours. Not enough to be relevant. Her hair is the same color, and it's parted the same way as yours. But it looks completely different, as in, it's cut to look a certain way and she spends a few minutes fixing it. Short is not the problem. Taking some time to fix it up into a style of some sort is.
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 59
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:03:03 PM
Thanks. I know a lot of people here are so rude. so instead of listening to them and their Negative stuff I am going to look at the good advice other people had given since Rudeness is just another type of saying "well I feel insecure about myself so I am going to be as blunt and rude as I can to this person to make her feel even worse then she is feeling and maybe she will feel as Insecure as me ."

I got problems to deal with yes but you know what someone at church helped me last night that no therapist could. so just go to show Therapy is a waist of time because even if it might of helped you it don't work on all people and I am one of those people who it never worked for.

So all this Negative you gave me is being ignored all the good acknowledged because Positive is all I should be focusing on not all the ignorant and rude bullshit.
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 60
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:07:33 PM
Therapy doesn't and won't work for you if you refuse to accept that you alone are responsible for your unhappiness and decide to work on what is not working.
If you only want to hear how great you are and how mean and cruel everyone else is then nothing will change. Therapy is hard work - especially if you insist on being a victim. In fact, nothing will change as long as you take on victim status and blame everything and everybody for your CHOICES.
Anxiety can be treated. You need counselling but it's a waste of time and money if you're not going to be honest with yourself.
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 61
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:08:38 PM
Well MS Gamer Girl I do not see so much negative advice as much as your story kept changing. Adding things as you go and that alone starts to make a lot of it look like BS. Imagine meeting someone who every day adds one more piece of nonsense to his stories. You would start wondering too !

Some of the advice was good. If you think losing weight. getting an Education ( which you do need to do both ) are bad advice, then do not do either one. Some people want to help you in the right direction, since you are young and there is a possible chance of you making your life better for you and your child. The only ignorance I see is how you change your stories, add stuff and tell people they are ignorant. Really?

It is not a waste ( not waist ) of time. Improve yourself in areas you can. Hopefully you will become a happier with yourself type of person, especially since you do have a child. Afterall, children learn from their parents. Scary thought sometimes.

Good luck.
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 62
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:15:44 PM
As of being overweight is all such rudeness....I know I have a childish look to my face don't mean anything I am a small girl and I am not overweight. I cant help if I am naturally Husky which means I was Born that way. If your gonna say "you have to change how you look even though you were born that way." is kind of rude.

As for school I am going back. My looks don't mean a thing because if someone is going to date me it should not matter if I have a Naturally husky figure or a child like look to my face. it should matter whats on the inside. But some people are just to shallow these days and a lot of you are a great example of the "If I don't have great looks and if I don't look sexy then I am not good enough."

I could tell you MsMucleChick that you can work on your teeth change your hair because it looks frizzy and maybe work on your face since its not all that perfect in looks But you know what I wont do what you people have been doing to me because I can be the better person.
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 63
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:24:19 PM
I will use a flat iron on my hair if you stop making things up as you go along. Deal? My teeth are straight and not one what should I fix? Or should I make something up??? Enlighten me, story teller.
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 64
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:34:19 PM
I don't like how your showing teeth in your smile. Something about the Teeth throws the smile off. Just saying. Not making it up. As a Bisexual I find there is something in a person about their smile in both sexes and not trying to sound like I am hitting on you but I am not all that big of a fan on your smile. There is something off about it and I feel its the teeth.

I think your showing off too much tooth. That's just my opinion.
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 65
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:37:30 PM
I am not bi sexual . I only like **** . I have big teeth, but they are very white, straight and cavity free. So, sorry. I cannot go get them pulled to please you. However I have never had anything bad said about my teeth. I have many gay friends who never act that way about someone's teeth.

But hey, if you are the first person to complain I am doing pretty good. I will tell my dentist some bi sexual on line didn't like my teeth. I am sure he will * chuckle*. To each his or her own. Just like I am not attracted to certain traits. No biggie.

Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 66
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:41:36 PM
Like I said I had a Opinion about it. Never told you to get them pulled. But if your aloud to have a Opinion on thinking I am making things up then I think I am aloud to have a Opinion about you. And also I never said you were bisexual I said "I don't mean to sound like I am hitting on you."
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 67
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:43:10 PM

Fireworks before the fireworks....fab.
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 68
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:44:21 PM
It is fine. You see, I do not get offended. I am secure with who I am. I was just laughing, most people like white teeth that are cavity free and straight !! Anyway, be careful with your life. I do hope you find the right direction. And your child too.
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 69
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:47:17 PM

Changing lines annoys people as much as changing lanes does. The fact that you are changing things, adding things, are suspect and you will be called out on it. If you posted this thread and can't deal with the responses that you get here, plead with the powers that be to delete the whole damned thing. You wanted honesty and you got it. This whole thread has turned into a pity party of one.

What was childish was that you threw a tantrum when someone basically told you the truth, and IT IS the truth. This thread reminds of a childhood game where we made a statement, passed it on, and by the time it got back to you, it was a whole different story. You can't even decide what type of story you want told here. Now, because of all the changes, you are hardly believable and will be forever known in the forums as a pathological liar. MsMuscleChick has her act together. I advise you to do the same. Case closed. Now, go kick rocks

Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 70
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:53:44 PM
well considering right now were both sat down in the Living room watching her cartoons and she is content and ready for bed I say Paige and I are doing just fine on being parent and daughter. 4 days of my week go to her since I am out on my own and little to no support besides Income support and disability to pay for my bills and food so she lives at home with Nanny and poppy while I try to get myself stabled in money and trying to get back into school to do 3 years of creative writing and then going to get a job to help with getting my writing career kick started. Things are slowly getting better I have a feeling Mr right will come along during a year in school or sometime in youth.
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 71
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:56:13 PM
A career in writing? Well, I'd say you kick ass in the fiction genre.

Good luck with other genres. May I suggest next you try science fiction? Now that would be a hoot.
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 72
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:59:25 PM
It just hit me, this thread isnt going to end up in your book? and we re going to see this in a theater one day staring Angelina Jolie and Tom Hanks or some thing.
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 73
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 5:01:19 PM
Oh I write all kinds of things :3 I got a book started about a troubled teen its called "Don't just stand there." and also I got a book started that's Horror called "Inside the cats eyes." I will do some Sci fi when I get some Inspiration though I think writing a horror novel with Zombies in it requires some science see what Infections and Viruses could cause someone to go crazy and die and come back as flesh eaters. Just keep looking for books by Sarah Clarke and those 2 titles that I named. in a few years you might see them in book stores.
Joined: 11/26/2010
Msg: 74
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/1/2011 6:42:23 PM
Why are you trying all these different scenarios? Just be yourself. That's a bit weird
Joined: 6/23/2011
Msg: 75
Cant find a date
Posted: 7/12/2011 7:12:50 PM
I dont think leaving out being raped was hiding anything, or adding it later to explain 'changing' her story.

Why would someone need to disclose that kind of information, and why would anyone pick at her for not originally talking about it?

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