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Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 21
started out as just sexPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Not gonna happen. If you want the real thing, you're going to have to work at reinventing yourself first. And lay off the sex. Good luck, though.
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 22
started out as just sex
Posted: 6/29/2011 11:54:38 AM
But of course it's possible!

In order to have this happen, you need to talk to him about yourself and NOT himself. So forget about asking him how he feels about you or where he would like this to go as, you should simply be honest and upfront about it with him.

So to take it to the next level, approach him and tell him how you felt about him in the beginning and how that had seemed to change and evolve over time. Explain to him how you now feel and what you would be ready to do in your arranement with him.
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 23
started out as just sex
Posted: 7/1/2011 9:29:47 AM
I read your profile. REALLY!!! ok I'm old school and have at least some morals. Any way, You still have your profile up. And if he is still on line, wellll come on, I'm sure you are getting all kinds of "hits" If I was going to do what you are doing or at least was doing, ( I assume that from what you said) you should have made some money at it. I would also think, if I was him that is what you are doing "hitting it and quiting it" wow talk about STD" !!

I quess anything is possible, but yes, but you will have to talk to him about it and you might not like what he tells you. Sorry!! I quess I wouldn't get my hopes up on this turning into a real relationship but humans do all kinds of things and except all kinds of things. Could be why we get hurt so much!!

Why do we think sex is just a game? Not that I haven't played it once or twice (the game) but the problem with this FWB or just casual sex someone always gets hurt unless it is just a one time thing or maybe real quickie, like wham, bam.. But if you get to know the person, then someone always gets hurt. Now if you are saying no I've had relationship with just sex and friends, and It was good and everything was fine, well then you are not the one who got hurt! Even if they don't tell you they are hurt just like this lady.

Sex is the only time a human becomes one with that person, when it involves love you feel it in your heart and it is wonderful. Not saying that its not wonderful when no love is involved because it is. But if there is no connection what so ever then it might have been good for that very short time but the heartache can last a very long time when it is over or the disappointment.
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 24
started out as just sex
Posted: 7/1/2011 2:31:12 PM
What I'm wondering is, if you've been together for over a year with great sex and companionship... you seem happy enough that you want more -- but what is it you want to change? Seems pretty good to me. I guess that might be his concern, too.

I think you need to be specific about what is it you want that you're not getting now.

Otherwise, why fix what isn't broken?
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 25
started out as just sex
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:12:27 PM
Your screen name screams "I want something serious" NOT
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 26
started out as just sex
Posted: 7/2/2011 3:56:17 AM
it might be do-able...but be prepared to be shot down....specially if its all you as a couple have talked about....while Im here for basically the same reason....theres usually one or the other that gets in to far.....heartfelt....tuff situation .....good luck!
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 27
started out as just sex
Posted: 7/2/2011 9:08:02 AM
Be honest and tell him what you are feeling. It's possible ( but far from guaranteed ) he is thinking the same way. You won't know for sure until either one of you brings it up.
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 28
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/28/2011 1:58:10 PM
i think you have done about all of it you have sex that about covers it
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 29
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:18:08 PM
It always amazes me how people have sex yet don't communicate!
Of course its double...practical?....remains to be seen.

Be prepared to lose the whole thing though.

I'd first look for signs...not A sign......SIGNS that he may be feeling the same first though.

If he isn't, then you either shelved your feelings or stop completely.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 30
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:27:26 PM
You're experiencing a biological phenomium. When you have sex you create a bond. The more you have sex the strogner grows the bond. It's part of human sexuality. There's a good chance you won't split up but that doesn't mean your living arrangement are going to change unless you make the effort. You have to be compatible in lots of other ways.
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 31
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:36:02 PM
Depends on both of you....did u ask HIM??
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 32
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:54:10 PM

I really want to take this further is that even doable?

"Doable"? ....I have no idea whats going on between you when you're not having sex. However , the rule goes: Great sex=Great relationship, if a relationship is doable.

But its only been a year, what is your hurry?!!

Lets see if you can manage another year. And don't push him.
Joined: 8/24/2011
Msg: 33
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:00:21 PM
nope..if it was going to go further you wouldnt be here bragging/complaining about ongoing sex...
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 34
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:21:34 PM

I got another email the other day from a relationship guru, cc anyway he thinks not, he says it has to be set up from the start and defined, he said men find it difficult to switch from just sex to a relationship, maybe he is being inflexable though.


Magic 8-ball says... chances are good.

We all have opinions, anyone who calls themselves a "guru" is a moron and their advice should be ignored or laughed at IMO.

and to be honest, Mr Guru is just plain wrong.

The situation she describes is possible, so long as she is open and honest and he feels the exact same way, not just tells her he does just to keep the sex coming but actually feels the same and says it. One person can't just start assuming the other feels the same...

OP if you want more... Communicate, be honest, expect the worst, hope for the best... and we wish you luck you found the right one :)
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 35
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:25:28 PM
I should add to that...

Men build relationships from the women they have sex with...

Women build sex from the men they have an emotional attachment to...

This is also why so many women feel "the guy just wanted sex" after dating doesn't turn into a LTR... and why men feel "the girl wanted more then I was ready for" after it started to get serious... common complaints.

Meet in the middle.
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 36
view profile
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/29/2011 4:00:42 AM
Why should he want a relationship from you if you are just sex to him. Changing it to something differant is not easy if you made it this way. You really don't know what his needs are when it comes to a relationship in his book. That's the problem. He could be just ****ing around until he is ready to settle down.
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 37
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/29/2011 8:16:33 AM
After a year there's a relationship there, even if neitrhe of you is willing to publicly accept it to each other. Even if it's just a sexual relationship and/or a FWB relationship. Do you think he's mature enough and ready to handle a relationship? Talking doesn't hurt, I think. Do you talk at all or just have sex? Does he takes you out anywhere? And when he introduces you to friends and family how does he do it? As a Friend, Girlfriend or are you just a booty call?
Piece of advice from a guy, talk to him about it right after having one of those "Great Sex" sessions, we men are very vulnerable right after having "great sex". Good Luck!
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 38
started out as just sex
Posted: 8/29/2011 8:37:19 AM
it just sounds like your bragging about all the sex and attention you get this doesnt even sound like a problem
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