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 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 51
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Income LevelsPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
so i asked her a hypothetical question.I said you are walkingdown the aisle and of a supermarket ,there is a guy opening boxes and stocking the shelves and your eyes meet and you instantly know you are "right" for each other. Do you stop or keep on walking? she said she'd keep on walking. I felt sad for her when she said that,as I knewthat no matter happened in her life ,she would never be happy. Much to my dismay,many females are like that there.


OMG!!! she's smart like me,,,,,
An accidental eye contact with people, all the time, are normal you'd smile to each other or look down an indication that you are not in the mood to smile/acknowledge this stranger or you just stretch you mouth like a dog 's smile.. If I have an accidental eye contact with all the man and that little head between legs will whisper to me that we are" right" for each other, I will be like a Taxicab worned out in no time and retired in the Car Junk Yard.. I don't think I'll be happy.
Now back to your story, a nice looking woman walking in her pumps,mini skirt ,blazers, Couch bag,(cost $345.00) walking on the aisle looking for tampon and you were there stocking the shelve, in another aisle I presumed that you turned your head on her to catch her eye,whatever your eyes convey to her is not registering whether puppy dog eyes or lust at first sight, for her mind is set to buy that tampon . Okay, I'll take your side , if she stop and talk to him, would she say "we are right with each other ? The cameras all over the places, his supervisor or manager will run on your side in no time. then you'll get fired, for not working but chatting ,No body is happy to get FIRED..Now I'll leave the conclusion to you, will the woman support you because she thinks you are meant for each other ?
You read too much silly romance book, in real life big income women who earned their living through mental skill are smarter than you think, and those big income women who earned their living by lyin on the mattress too, are smart the don't squander their money for an average joe, but they will squander their money on well hung drop dead gorgeous Adonis..........
Vannili
 BigSagman
Joined: 4/12/2011
Msg: 52
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Income Levels
Posted: 6/30/2011 12:54:05 PM
@Carolann0308: I just wanted to say that you are the FIRST woman I have ever heard say that "I don't equate $$$$ with the ability to enjoy life." WOW!!!
Especially on this site which has introduced to me to nothing but lazy, money hungry, self-centered, confused women. Maybe I should be looking in another age group.

You are quite unique and a special human being.

To often people equate $$$$$$$$$$ with happiness and love. Personally I feel money is VERY important in doing the things that need to be done in our lives. However, when I first got married at age 25 to my 18 year old bride, we had nothing but a baby boy and a dream. That dream turned into 3 more great kids and a lot of love and happiness in our 10 year marriage, which was cut short by her death at age 29.

So money is important however, if I'm in love with that special lady.......money will never be an issue because as a provider Alpha male I'm going to be inspired to continue to be a money maker until my money making days are over. That's the problem with today's society that believes a man that who is not "throwing money" around must mean he is less of a man. That is the furthest from the truth for this writer.

Good luck to you.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 53
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Posted: 6/30/2011 1:15:04 PM

Do you consider dating someone who is in a lower income bracket than you?

Yes, I do date someone in a lower income bracket.

I am wondering if there are problems that could come about, and issues dating someone with a lower income and less ability to enjoy life so to speak.

I would imagine that there could be problems, certainly. If I expected him to be the one who paid for dates and outtings all the time, we'd certainly not be going out much. If he beleived he had to be the one who paid for everything, he'd not be dating anyone much.

As it is, we share expenses and do what we feel we can afford. I've certainly dated men who made more money and were very willing to pay for everything - but while it's nice to be "treated", I didn't like the feeling that I wasn't a full participant in the relationship financially. It would be nice if he made more money, but it would also be nice if I made more money. Whats really important is that we do enjoy each other's company, regardless of whether we're eating Kraft dinner at home or a 5-course meal at the best restaurant in town.
 Quatervois
Joined: 1/28/2011
Msg: 54
Income Levels
Posted: 6/30/2011 2:52:18 PM
I have dated men who earned less. Incomes change. Death, loss of job or disability can happen unexpectedly. For me going into a relationship knowing that money would be tight and the dates on the cheap side was not a turn off. I was dating the person, not their wallet. It mattered more to me what their character was. Looking back now I think being responsible financially is just as important as any other trait, because I resent being expected to pay the tab.

On the other hand, should I be foolish enough to marry...
There is stigma for house husbands, but it's just one more thing to consider. How much am I really comfortable supporting financially? Do I want gigolo. Hell to the NO!
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 55
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Posted: 6/30/2011 4:29:09 PM

@Carolann0308: I just wanted to say that you are the FIRST woman I have ever heard say that "I don't equate $$$$ with the ability to enjoy life." WOW!!!
Especially on this site which has introduced to me to nothing but lazy, money hungry, self-centered, confused women. Maybe I should be looking in another age group.

Not to take anything at all from her, but she is far from unique. You might want to try a different area as well as a different age group. I've heard that NJ is a very expensive place to live.

I've known a lot of people over my lifetime, some very wealthy and some just a step above homeless. No one could tell which was which just from looking at them - and some of those with the least income were world travellers. They'd work just long enough to pay for a plane ticket to the next place, and while they were working they were also camping out to avoid spending anything on unessentials like housing. Their choice, and their lifestyle. I prefer having a place of my own, but I loved listening to their stories and I certainly never judged them according to what they had. They lived their lives to the fullest.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 56
Income Levels
Posted: 7/1/2011 1:01:35 PM
There's no problem making money but I do have a problem for the love of money tho. It is unwise to make financial success a priority. I don't want to date someone that is so richly conceited in money making that all they ever talk about is making money and more money and how there conversation is just about money.

Personally I don't care how much money you make ( even if it's more that I make and most people make more than I would make anyways ) but I do care about how you handle your money if I was to live with S/O or get married that's very important to see if your responsible with your money.
 Dreamer_in_SC
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 57
Income Levels
Posted: 7/1/2011 2:35:48 PM

What I find interesting is that the profile reveals more about money in the way they like to spend it and whether it is their money or your money...


That is pretty much exactly what most women (and men) do in their profiles. If everything written in the profile is about activities that involve the consumption of funds then it is a very good indicator that they are more focused on how to spend money and less focused on how to earn money. If the profile is all about them, their work, and or their future goals again the same holds true.

Like most things in life, finding the balance is the key to happiness and finding what we are searching for.

You do not need to have a gold digger questionnaire. All that is needed is to figure out where their focus is and that is a pretty good indicator of what is most important in their lives.

I look at life this way. What good is money if you have nobody in your life able to enjoy the things that having money can offer?

Think about it... Why do most people want money? It is so they can have the life style that they desire to enjoy. That life style though must be a shared undertaking if people are trying to build a relationship together. If no relationship is needed or wanted it does not matter as much but if the end goal is to build a life together that works well together then people must be comparable in the type of lives that are lived in order for those lives to become intermingled together.

If I am wearing Levis and a T-Shirt then I am not likely to look or function well together with a woman who is always wearing evening gowns. If I am always in a Tux then I am not likely to be comparable to a woman in a halter top and daisy dukes.

Like attracts like and always has. I think the more important part is figuring out who you are and where you belong as well as who you belong with. Knowing that makes all the difference and not so much the income levels.

If that is used for matching... OOPS i figured it is nobodies business and selected the lowest number
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 58
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Posted: 7/1/2011 8:40:03 PM

Like attracts like and always has. I think the more important part is figuring out who you are and where you belong as well as who you belong with. Knowing that makes the difference and not income levels.


That's right!!!! I totally agree on this.............
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 59
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Posted: 7/2/2011 11:41:19 AM

I would have an issue dating say a walmart cashier who didn't better herself. I wouldn't have an issue dating someonewho made the same money but in a prestigious job


I would be concern of the mentality of the person who has a prestigious job with the pay of a Walmart Cashier .

Pretigious jobs , Prestigious Pays. That 's the way how the business world roll...
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 60
Income Levels
Posted: 7/2/2011 12:56:44 PM
^^^

Maybe it was a choice of poor words, what I think he meant is that there are jobs that pay well but that don't require a post secondary education or special skills. On the other hand, there are jobs/careers that require a degree and/or special skills that pay very little or at least not enough.

For example, I made twice the salary being a ward clerk than a friend made with a three year degree in early childhood education. Here in Ottawa, one can earn a decent coin working as an orderly, porter, clerk or by joining the kitchen or maintenance staff in one of our three Ottawa Hospital campuses, often making more than someone who has a degree. The job satisfaction might be lower, the prestige is certainly not there, but the money (and benefit package) is excellent.

In the States, I often hear that teachers are under-paid, yet to me, it's a very important aka prestigious job. A military career is another I can think of where one might see it as prestigious and yet the pay may not be on par...social workers, many with highly specialised degrees and special qualifications, are notoriously under-paid, or at least they were in the past. People stocking shelves or working the cash at Costco often make more than a college graduate working in a more "prestigious" career.

My daughter's first boyfriend started to work at McDikcs when he was 15 - by the time he was in his mid-twenties, with only a high school diploma under his belt, he made more than I did and was driving a company car - he is now married to another regional manager (with her own company car) and they recently purchased their second home. Their jobs/career choice is not prestigious (to me) - it is hard work, the hours are long and erratic, the company name alone evokes sneers and giggles, you're surrounded by teenagers (ark!), your clothes stink - yet it pays well, the benefits are great and for some, it can be rewarding career.

Anyway, I think that's what that poster may have meant - if not, well, it wouldn't be the first time I ramble on for nothing:)
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 61
Income Levels
Posted: 7/2/2011 2:52:59 PM
I make a decent living but am certainly not anything close to wealthy.

Like others above, it doesn't matter to me how much a guy makes as long as he can essentially provide for himself. I have zero problem going dutch or even picking up the tab for places out of someone's budget if it's something I want to do with him.

But I've certainly noted in my age-location dating pool that I make more than most of the men available and that they seem to have a problem with it once they get the idea I might make more than they do, even though I live a pretty simple life, drive a beater car, etc...but when our incomes are similar they still have a issue with my having a self-sustaining job. I think it's kind of a cultural thing here.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 62
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Posted: 7/2/2011 9:35:39 PM
The teachers here in the state of Nevada are earning good ,they are not hurting at all ,tho their pay checks comes once a month. Teachers aid are making $16.75 an hour.
Stockers at Costco earns minimum wages$ 7.85 here in NV.

Forgive me but I never heard a person who has a college degree, who is working in a prestigious job with a" lower pay" than a porter/kitchen staffs/desk/store clerk who makes a minimum wages. I guessed it is happening just here in Nevada....
Garbage collectors, street construction ,contractor,company driver,truck driver jobs pays good but I don't know if it is equivalent to a lawyer/Engineer pays..
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 63
Income Levels
Posted: 7/2/2011 10:28:14 PM
Edit at above: I had a colleague whose husband was a bartender for years - she worked full time days (ward clerk) and he worked part-time evenings while their children were little and he made as much as she did. When their children were old enough to no longer require babysitting, he quit that job and got an entry level clerical job for the government with better hours and good benefits, but still, I always told my kids to get their bartending license because the hours may be erratic but you'll never starve and you can work just about anywhere!

Teachers aid are making $16.75 an hour.
Stockers at Costco earns minimum wages$ 7.85 here in NV.


The wages here in Canada are different than in the States, and they vary from province to province also, but here at the Ottawa Hospital for example, a ward clerk makes approx. $25/hr plus benefits which comes to roughly $50, 000 a year. Porters, kitchen and maintenance staff follow close behind, although I'm not sure of the exact numbers. I'm not arguing with you Vanilli, I am just trying to point out that things are different here that's all.


Forgive me but I never heard a person who has a college degree, who is working in a prestigious job with a" lower pay" than a porter/kitchen staffs/desk/store clerk who makes a minimum wages.


Like I said, here porters, ward clerks, etc. don't make minimum wages. And yes, there are jobs that require a college degree that don't pay as well - as mentioned earlier, Daycare Workers, many with a three year degree in Early Childhood Education are (normally) paid less than those other less "prestigious" jobs. There are many more but this is getting off topic and I never meant for this to become a point of contention. I was simply trying to clarify another poster's point of view.

http://www.payscale.com/research/CA/Job=Child_Care_%2f_Day_Care_Worker/Hourly_Rate
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 64
Income Levels
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:47:30 AM
My brother got married at 22 and they began having children. He worked as a teamster while he was going to college. When he got his degree, jobs for it were about $30,000 below his teamster job. So he kept the job and got a Master's. Ditto. So he went back and got another degree, in programming. By this time 30 years on, he'd peaked as a teamster, and got a beginner's programming job at only $20,000 less. Kids raised, the wife went back to work to make up the difference. Since she'd suffered terribly being married to a *truck driver* she was delighted to raise their social status by working as a lunch lady at a local school.

 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 65
Income Levels
Posted: 7/3/2011 9:03:15 AM
If he is making less than me he is most likely homeless. I am so far below the poverty line that I astound even myself by merely surviving.
 bot1968
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 66
Income Levels
Posted: 7/3/2011 9:50:10 AM
It is a sad world we live in if a relationship is based on money and who has more.
 Poachedtrout
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 67
Income Levels
Posted: 7/3/2011 10:19:28 AM
If there is a logic behind avoiding someone with a lower income than yourself, then that same logic must apply to the individual who is making more than yourself. This would restrict each of us to our own income levels which is an absurd criterion and limitation for finding a life's mate, lover, friend or whatever.

The person asking the question should concern herself with the partner's attitude towards money issues in general in that it is complimentary to her way of thinking.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 68
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Posted: 7/3/2011 12:13:04 PM
It is a sad world we live in if a relationship is based on money and who has more


Yes I totally agree, but it is a human frailty that those who have less want those who have more to connect with.

Those who have more, work hard for their money and save for cushion to fall into.
Those who have less, believe what it says in the bible >If GOD in heaven provide for sparrows ,what more of a man who's created in the form of God.
So majority of People thinks that the* best things *if LIFE are free . Just my 2 cents.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 69
Income Levels
Posted: 7/3/2011 5:33:29 PM
it is a human frailty that those who have less want those who have more to connect with.

Gonna call BS on this. AbsoLOOT BS. Anyone finding themselves feeling this way, and I'm sure they do exist, needs an immediate spiritual overhaul.

As for those who have more ~~ off hand, I have to say that those who have less work one hellava lot harder for their pay than those further up the scale -- waitressing and roofing come immediately to mind. Teachers not so much. Stock brokers, less. Bankers???? Give me a break.

 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 70
Income Levels
Posted: 7/3/2011 6:03:20 PM
Ive dated women that made considerably less that what I earn, and It doesn't bother me, as long as they are happy what they do and they don't hate others that earn the money, its all good, but if they whine about and hate those that has the balls to chase their dreams and succeed and they whine and do nothing about it, I wouldn't waste my time with them.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 71
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Posted: 7/3/2011 7:31:06 PM

Gonna call BS on this. Absollootly . Anyone finding themselves feeling this way, and I'm sure they do exist,need and an immediate spiritual overhaul.


I am glad you acknowledge those who have less want to connect with who have more, this is a NOT A BS theory this is experiences all over the world.
Your are absolutely right a person should not have a big appetite with someone's full refrigerator, they should fill up their own refrigerator...

toods, take this as complement, you are good>>>>>>>> you may build a Church, get a preaching licence ,stand on the pulpit and talk on top of your lungs to those Gold-diggers, Moochers,Gigolos, Healthy Panhandlers ect .. to overhaul their spirit because they are the pitiful,helpless dregs on Earth.. If they want a convenient and the best things in life , they have to sweat for it and not
hussle it to those who work hard to have a convenient life . Vannili

 saw1984
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 72
Income Levels
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:32:23 PM
never, as long as he is not trying to get me to pay his bills and pay for dinner/lunch all of the time, then I am good. Actually, I feel income should never be discussed in a relationship unless two people are married.
 Soulstace
Joined: 12/19/2010
Msg: 73
Income Levels
Posted: 7/3/2011 7:59:03 PM
Money is one of the major reasons people fight and break up.

I think men and women have been taught.. at least my generation and older, that men should be providers or be capable of providing. Its security and stability.

Unfortunately... money does matter.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 74
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Posted: 7/3/2011 9:54:40 PM
Money in one of the major reasons people fight an break up.

I think men and women have been taught .. at least my generation and older, that men should be the providers or capable providing. It's security and stability.

Unfortunately... money does matter.


In our generation 1pay check is enough to survive even with 6 kids, mom stretch the dollar until it snaps, on grocery/market shopping, older kids sell news paper, do errands for nieghbors to help. Mom is taking care of the housechore,attending vegetables garden to augment the staples,taking care of family clothes ect. Their pastime is card games or if they have radio and tv, listen and watch tv...

Now 1 paycheck is not enough it has to be 3 paychecks, to run a family, Dad works 2 job, plus on the side on his days off like doing some yard work or handy works,,,,, mom work 1 job on the side selling AvonTupperware/ or cashiering in a chinese restaurant in the evening or whatnot .. then take care of kids ,housechores, food pref. Kids needs braces so their teeth is perfect,needs computer, Wii games, new shoes, new pretigious bigger house, vacation to Dysney Land with the kids,she needs to have that Couch Bag cost $347.00 ,they have to have an SUV and that nice Toyota Prisshm. Needs to eat in Reaturant once a week. Celebrate kids birthday partyin a big spread.......... Yes money does Matter to run a Life.... To enjoy life.
 Dreamer_in_SC
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 75
Income Levels
Posted: 7/4/2011 6:53:35 AM

Money is one of the major reasons people fight and break up.


I am going to have to call BS on that... This is why... It is not the money that caused the breakup or failed marriages, it is living a lifestyle above the income level and as such there was not enough money.

I keep hearing people say that money is the major reason for the divorce rate to be so high and i can not help thinking that this country or even this world is delusional to think that it is ok to consider a lack of money as the cause but ignore the accountability that it was the 2 people in the marriage that decide what the money they have gets spent on.

It is bad decision making that is the root cause and not so much money. Money is nothing more than a tool. Money is simply the same old barter and trade system of days gone buy on steroids to open up more availabilities than simply offering 1 specific item to trade to obtain the things you may want and need.

Choosing what the money is spent on matters more than how much it is...

Looking at a 52 inch plasma TV and reaching into your pocket to find enough to buy a 13 inch CRT tv and buying the 52" plasma anyways is what would cause divorce and the couple to fight over money.

Looking at the stainless side by side ice and water in the door with digital controls and wifi connectivity in the refrigerator section and reaching in your pocket to find a budget befitting a small office sided fridge and buying the other one anyways is was created the tension in the relationship and NOT a lack of money.

It is wanting more than you have and/or are capable of getting that causes the problems. We do the same things in relationships as well.

If you think about it most people in society do that with almost everything. We seem to always want more than what we have and use those things to form goals and have something to strive for. We use things like the better house, better car, better furniture to motivate ourselves and cause us to strive for a level more than where we are.

If we remain happy with what we have then to some life becomes stagnant and unchanging. Just remember one thing to those who think finding someone that makes more than you is good to strive for.

In order for you to find someone that makes more than you to be with means that someone has to accept less than you yourself is willing to do. Think about it. It is ok for you to expect someone else to earn more than you but they can not also find someone that makes more than them. Your thoughts are that for your to get what you THINK you deserve by being with someone that makes more than you, well, for your desires to come to pass then that means they will need to receive LESS than what they deserve in order to be with you.

Now here is the kicker.... You are that type that would end up in divorce court because to start out with you made less and then became accustomed to more but then were not satisfied with the new more you had and found ways to expect more again.

Basically put, If there is a woman that is expecting to find a man that makes more than she does my suggestion is to avoid them because they will NEVER be happy with what they have. THAT is what will cause divorce in the future. The not being happy with what is had and the desire for more more more. The over spending, the bigger houses, better cars, fancier furniture, smarter appliances.

Just my opinions at least
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