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 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 76
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Income LevelsPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Now here is the kicker ....You are the type that would end up in divorce court because to start out with you made less and became accustomed to more but not satisfied with the new more you had and found ways to expect more again.
Basically,put If there is a woman that is expecting to find a man that makes more than she does my suggestion is to avoid them because they NEVER be happy with what they have.


That is a gospel truth, people who have less, spend the money of that person who have more as if there is no tomorrow,because they did not sweat for it,with a false assumption that there is more where it come from , they become accustume of a raise up life style.. If I have a exclusive Bf/relationship ,income is important that we are on the same level, if his is higher than mind I can't keep up with his life style. For I believe the essence of a good relationship is base on "give and take".
 Soulstace
Joined: 12/19/2010
Msg: 77
Income Levels
Posted: 7/4/2011 8:32:24 AM
@Dreamer...

Don't think money matters.. quit your job, collect welfare and move in with your parents..

It's easy to be idealistic when you have money.. but when you don't, it's a whole other ball game.

I know of people who have fought often about money. My best friend met a woman from here on POF and after dating 5 years it came down to money. (Which he makes 150,000 a year and still wasn't good enough!)

People are entitled to lifestyles. It's not up to anyone to tell them otherwise. It's their life.

My point was about security, and stability. Without money you don't have it. I made no mention of consumerism, which is a social issue, not entirely a relationship one.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 78
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Income Levels
Posted: 7/4/2011 8:45:28 AM
@Dreamer...
Don't think money matters... quit your job,collect welfare and move in with your parents. It's easy to be idealistic when you have money.. but when you don't it's a whole other ball game.


That is true it reduce our situation like a rat always looking for food in dumpster to fill it's belly.

Money is power, if you know how to play with it ,you are ahead of the game. It doesn't matter how much you are making even just a minimum wage $7.87 an hour. Have any of you read The Richest Man In Babylon ?
 negpotoprens
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 79
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Income Levels
Posted: 7/4/2011 8:54:42 AM

Don't think money matters.. quit your job, collect welfare and move in with your parents..

I don't see anywhere on his response, where he said money doesn't matter.


I know of people who have fought often about money. My best friend met a woman from here on POF and after dating 5 years it came down to money. (Which he makes 150,000 a year and still wasn't good enough!)


This kind of makes the point that he is trying to make
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 80
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Income Levels
Posted: 7/4/2011 9:43:00 AM
I know of people who have fought often about money. My best friend met a woman here on POF and after 5 years it came down to money.(Which he makes 150.000 a year and still wasn't good enough!)


This statement doesn't make sense to me and if it doesn't make sense it is not true in my book.
IF, I am a woman who is used on upper crust style of living and my taste is impeccable rich,( therefore I am a moneyed person) I won't be sitting down infront of my computer, spending my time cruising free site internet dating,even paid dating sites, looking at their pictures and (take note:) FEW guys their stoopid write ups like mine... I 'l be sassying my fat azz deck in Gucci 's evening gown in exclusive country club,touring the world, gym where the rich men hangout,expensive restaurant, charity balls you name it where money talks.
And if I am a man who makes $75.000 a year ,half of $150.000 you posted, I'll be very busy working on the computer making money not looking for dates on POF, I'll go where beautiful rich women hangout....
And I don't believe that there are rich people here in POF even the monied men who makes their living in illegal way they are not going to waste their precious time here.
We ,I generalize that are rich on HOURS but mediocre on money can afford to waste time sitting infront of computer drinking coffee or buwieser

killing
time exchanging opinions with others...

This is the way ,how we interact as all kind of fish in this pond..
 LucyOnBlack
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 81
Income Levels
Posted: 7/4/2011 1:12:38 PM
Age as a lot to do with it. At a young age income is not such an issue or of topic as much. I personally would expect someone of my age to be what I label as financially stable. For instance, their income can be less than mine but I would envision a vehicle, consistent employment and a stable life style. I would expect at the very least equality in stability.
 EDnurse1965
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 82
Income Levels
Posted: 7/4/2011 11:28:54 PM
I am now going thru a divorce with a man that could not handle the fact that I made more money than him. He knew this coming in but once the bills were sorted out and the money management came into play he could not handle it. He felt like less of a man and then began ingnoring me and treating me badly because of it... You have to have a strong man to handle it..
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 83
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Posted: 7/5/2011 1:02:13 AM
I am sorry about your divorce, and how he feels that you make more money than he is.. I wonder how and what he'd say??? that I supported my late husband with 2 jobs for 3 years...

It hurts for both of you that the reason of your divorce is money.
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 84
Income Levels
Posted: 7/9/2011 6:29:05 AM

What kind of idiot would complain if his mate made more money.


It happens. I notice, though,in my experience it's not the guys who work hard at low paying jobs or the ones who don't have a job; it's the ones who make a higher than average income who have a hard time dealing with the woman making more than they do. I think the guy above hit the nail on the head when he said it's what a generation was raised to expect: that the man being the breadwinner and the woman not needing to work is how things should be. There's nothing wrong with that if both people want and can afford that lifestyle, but it's not always the reality or what both want.

And Dreamer: he's right, it's not so much the dollar level in a relationship that causes money grief, it's the attitude toward acquisitions.
 thrutheyears
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 85
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Posted: 7/9/2011 10:33:34 AM
The ideal man would have a higher income than mine.
He also must have a good personality to go with the income.
 newbeginnings460
Joined: 8/4/2010
Msg: 86
Income Levels
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:20:43 PM
I have dealt with this problem over and over again my entire life. I am from a relatively poor family and even though I make a pretty decent salary now, I have two teenaged daughters whom I've supported on my own for a long time. I never really felt comfortable dating above me financially because I always felt I couldn't afford it.

In my younger years...before I had children...that was probably a mistake.

However...now...I can definately see the problem. If I am dating someone who has more disposable income or able to afford things I can't but he cannot afford to pay for me...that can definately become an issue. He might want to go on vacations, out to eat all the time, or a number of other things that I don't feel I can afford.

Even when a man can and wants to pay for everything, I feel uncomfortable regardless of whether we are just dating or in a committed relationship.

Now it's a bigger issue because my daughters will always come first. I understand that putting them first financially will make me less attractive to many men but I am all they have...I don't see any other choice.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 87
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 4:04:39 AM
Like incomes and lifestyles make for a higher likelihood of long term compatibility.
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 88
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 7:26:19 AM
I have dated a number of wealthy men. All I have to say is I now avoided them like the plague.
 annabird
Joined: 6/7/2010
Msg: 89
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 9:12:55 AM
"You guys do realize that Markus says he uses income level here at POF for matching right?"

I have dated a couple men from here that made less then I do. They actually enjoyed their company more then others that make more then me. They were not trying to show off what stuff they had bought.
 jcmaine
Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 90
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 9:23:09 AM
by enjoy life do you mean buy expensive crap and go on exotic vacations?

i guess it depends on what you consider important in life....
 Vitalstar
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 91
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 9:51:15 AM
About Markus:
"He claims no women will date a guy that makes less then her. I always thought THAT was a horrible assumption personally about the women here on POF.
Cowboy"

Lol. I dated a woman who made four times as much money as I did. I paid for a quarter of my meals, gas for her car, movies..etc, etc. It wasn't an issue.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 92
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 10:14:38 AM
Hmmm.... I was married to a woman who made about 105k annually when I was only making around 40k....since then I've made up to 100k in a month and as low as 20k in a year...it's never affected who I date or their income levels....in fact I tend to have younger women and wealthier women approach me when I'm broke than when I'm doing well....go figure!
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 93
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 12:55:30 PM
Assume you are meeting someone new. Don't both parties feel more comfortable when their incomes are similar?
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 94
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 12:59:27 PM
^^^^^ I never really noticed or cared....I'm more concerned with sexual attitudes matching....the money is easy to deal with...
 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 95
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 3:19:48 PM
I do require anyone I date to have means of income and be self-sufficient, but it doesn't matter how much they make so long as they can take care of themself and their children if they have them. Income level doesn't determine whether or not I would date them, there's more to life and love than money.
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 96
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 4:35:47 PM
JC, of course sex is a driving force: I had some once myself.
But I believe that similar incomes DO allow MORE comfort.
Sure you can be Larry Fortensky to Liz Taylor, but that's kind of an anomaly, and who wants to meet in rehab, anyway?
 SpittyKitty
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 97
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 5:23:14 PM

Money should never be the basis of a relationship.
Yes I would. In fact, I wont even look twice at a women if she even mentions the reguired amount of money or financial stability she wants in a man. Its shallow.


Money should NOT be the BASIS of a relationship.
BUT, and I mean BUT, it does matter.
I would demand that the "required amount of money or financial stability" must cover their own expenses. I have had the shoe on the other foot. Put up with non-stable, financially irresponsible, non-working mooching slackers too many times in my life for it NOT to be important. It was emotionally heartbreaking, morally dispiriting, and bona-fide hard labor, working to pay for us both, watching them run through my hard earned money. Not giving back. Just taking.
If anybody's gonna be slacking off anymore.... it's gonna be me!!

And I am NOT shallow! I think that is an ill-thought out judgment.
I am simply weeding out the lazy bums!
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 98
Income Levels
Posted: 7/10/2011 6:50:36 PM
all my bfs either have no money or less income than i have
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 99
Income Levels
Posted: 7/22/2011 9:06:23 PM
So like the driving cliche' of; " People who drive slower than me are idiots and faster are maniacs!"

Those who make less are bums and those that make more are materialistic snobs....


Hmmm....seems reasonable to some...
 Lexykins88
Joined: 6/20/2010
Msg: 100
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Posted: 7/25/2011 8:30:59 PM
Most of the guys I have dated have made much less than I do, but they never knew it. It was nice when I dated someone that made more than me...he paid for everything (except for a few special things I organized) because at the time I made much less so I wouldn't have been able to afford all that we did.

I haven't really had to deal with that issue because the issue hadn't come up before things ended.
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