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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?      Home login  
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 Sportsfreak89
Joined: 12/28/2010
Msg: 26
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight? Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
There is such a thing I think but at the same time it only takes one bad first meeting to trash that love that is felt.
 SaucyArtist
Joined: 5/1/2010
Msg: 27
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 8:32:45 PM
The poet in me says that romantic love is possible at first sight.

But the realist says it is and it isn't possible. I think the human mind is a beautifully terrible thing. Yes, it is possible to fall in love at first sight...if you talk yourself into it. Truthfully, you can find something appealing about nearly anyone and you can convince yourself to love them.

That's not necessarily the same thing as being "in" love with them. But you can "love" them. I know this for a fact because I did it once. I literally said, "Well, he won't beat me, cheat on me, or lie to me and I'm reasonably attracted to him...so...okay." I was 19 and had no clue what I needed from a mate. It was a huge mistake. We were incompatible in many, many ways. But I chose to love him. I was not "in" love with him. It was more like a friends with benefits thing that turned into a train wreck marriage.

I think the only way to really fall in love with someone is to know yourself. You have to know who you are as a person, what you believe in, what you need, what flaws you can live with--what flaws are unacceptable. You have to be willing to be honest with yourself and your mate. You have to be willing to trust and share and respect them--to let them in. And they have to reciprocate. Because true love is a two way street. It's give and take. It's having enough similarities to get along and enough differences to compliment each other.

And it flat out takes time--perhaps years--to get to that point. Trust is tough for a lot of people. Just as letting someone see the real you is difficult. But the one time I let myself go and really love someone--let him see everything there was to see in me. It was worth it. It forged a bond that I'll never forget. And even though it ended...I would do it again.

 neddygurl
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 28
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 8:34:03 PM
i don't think it's love, just something new, infatuation. I have to hold myself back on thinking it's love at first sight because it really feels like love, but ultimately, real love takes time and we have to be patient for it to grow. It sucks, I wish there was an easy way to have love instantly, just add water and mix, but it just doesn't work like that.
 CreativeMe
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 29
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/1/2011 9:02:52 PM
I've read the other replies and while I agree that most times the initial feelings of infatuation are often misinterepted as love at first sight, I do believe rare cases of love at first sight do exist. Let me tell you a story...

I know a couple who met on Christmas Eve, became engaged on New Year's Eve, did not see one another again until February (and only for a few days), finally marrying in May. This couple has been married for 41 years. I can attest to the accurateness of this story because this couple happens to be my parents.

My father was in the Army and stationed in Virginia...my mother was visiting her sister and brither-in-law for the holidays...my uncle invited my dad (his third choice by-the-way) to dinner for Christmas Eve...Dad asked Mom to marry him a week later...Dad traveled to Florida to bring Mom her engagement ring February...Dad got out of the Army, got a job & house and traveled back to Florida for the wedding at the end of May. I was born 4 years later!!!

I can tell you that in general, my parents are happy, love each other, and have always worked together as a unit. In this instance both people felt an instant connection and wanted to spend their lives together, they also had considerably less baggage as they were fairly young and neither had been married previously.

I think your situation is very much different...when people have had serious relationships, especially those which result in kids, it's hard to jump right in to another relationship no matter how good it feels. From what I've read you very well may have fallen quickly in love with him (or at the very least this idealized version you were carrying), and he was just not as into as he wanted to be. Like some have said it may have been too much too soon and he just didn't know how to slow it down, or he may just have been a total sh*t! It does happen!! My advice is to thank your lucky stars it was short lived, and be a little more cautious and careful of your own feelings in the future. Remember, we are in charge of our own happiness and we can be responsible for that of others.

Good Luck!!!

S.
 SmokinJoe3
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 30
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History
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/2/2011 12:17:31 AM
This is my first post on POF... I do believe that upon sight that there is an immediate Chemestry between two people... JUst as much as there is an immediate no chemestry between two people... the area is are yuo just chaseing a piece of ass or not...

I feel that people's atraactions, karma and vibes can breech a room to close others out...

My first post.

Smokin Joe
 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 31
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/2/2011 12:57:18 AM
No Scottey we talked for about 3 months not a week. We spent a few days together and then a week later we meet again for another day out.. but we talked all the time for about 3 months.
I am sorry if I did not make that clear.

and InTheNow2011
I can respond to any one I want to on here.

Thank you all for your input this has been a real good eye opener :)
 BlueTeaPot
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 32
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/2/2011 5:12:52 AM
It takes time to build love and its never gone in a flash once the foundation has been built!

Panic happens, and the feelings may still be there for him....but he got scared.

I can understand that.
 ThatGuy1082
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 33
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/2/2011 5:48:03 AM
Believing in “Love at First Sight” is a nice belief. Typically (I believe) it’s more of a very strong attraction where on the surface many criteria fall into place. It’s hopeful significant determination where one is fabricating and projecting real endorphins and emotions. For that time, imagination delivers the best of what ifs and ignores what is. Enjoying the Hollywood fairytale is your attraction’s expectation. People like the idea of instant security when they are lonely, or when their preconceived ideal isn’t satisfied. This attraction, be it sexual, admiring, or a simple liking of character and personality is more the reality. Sadly, intelligence and experience kick in just after that initial dreamy glow and as time passes you come to realize it is/was only a strong attraction. What you do with it from there more of a wait and see thing. Good relationships that grow into loving relationships take time.
 ocean_park
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 34
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/2/2011 9:13:44 AM
There can be lust / instant physical attraction. But not love at first sight.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 35
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/2/2011 10:31:05 AM
Being attracted to someone at first sight, and wanting to f**k at first sight are realistic. Love at first site, is utter bull. It is no different than people who believe in "The one."

 Marley1218
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 36
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/2/2011 2:28:36 PM
hi, love is something that grows, that you learn to do over time because you meet someone that you have an afinity with. There are many factors that come into play beyond the physical attraction.. yes chemistry is important but so is compatability. and then comes your standards and his in regards to believes, moral, interests, priorities. people and relationships can be complex and some tend to make it compicated. advise. take it slow. read "Why Men Love ****es?". I can gathered that you were probably too nice.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 37
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/2/2011 4:12:58 PM
What you were really feeling was infactuation. You met him and BOOM, it honestly felt like love at first sight :) But you ALWAYS need tro give it time to get to know the other better and better to see IF the two of you really connect.
 Barredbard
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 38
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Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/3/2011 8:45:36 PM
First off, I do believe that there is such a thing as love at first sight. But the equities are against it. For that incident to have a chance there must be a double coincidence of wants: not only must you find him unbearably attractive, but he must return the same feeling with equal measure. It happened to me once, when I was younger, less cynical and more broke. We literally fell into each other's arms and were inseparable for 3 years.

There is a reason why most people are cautious at first, even when they know they are hopelessly immersed. Capitulate too quickly, and the other person might begin to experience buyer's remorse. Or worse, the other person may just be in it for the short term, but may fail to admit it until he scores. It is usually safer to draw things out. Still your heart. Meet at coffee shops. Have dinner. Go to the movies. And all the while, you are establishing the bond that will differentiate between true love and mere lust. Let this be a lesson learned. Time will dull the ache, and you will love again . . .
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 39
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Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/4/2011 7:37:31 AM
Yes there is but I'm sure it doesn't happen very often. It happened to me. Here's an old post about it...

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13484778.aspx#13484778
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 40
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/4/2011 7:57:10 AM
Love at first sight? If chemistry and sparks are happening that's chemistry but love at first sight would have to take on a little more than sparks.
 bcsr61
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 41
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/5/2011 10:01:31 AM
Thank you for sharing, I am sorry that you lost her.
 debepie
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 42
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Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/5/2011 8:32:30 PM
yes i have to agree Lust at first site. Both raw emotions
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 43
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/5/2011 8:49:39 PM
People can explain away the best parts of life...all i know is that the individuals I ended up loving I knew it at the start that they were something special to me.

Also this wasn't at first sight; you had spend three months of your life building this man up to be someone important to you...so by the time you actually did meet he already had the groundwork done.

A real connection can take many forms; some will claim it has to be face-to-face; and that might be the only way it works for them. Others can find love and happiness by listening to their inner self, especially when it whispers...hey, this person is special...you have to know who you are to know if you believe in love at first sight or not.

If you feel strongly about this man then make sure he knows it, the panic attack could be based on the fact that the progression of the relationship was moving at a speed he didnt feel he could keep up with ...or it was slower than he wanted. Could be alot of things but if you feel in your heart he is special then do what you would want him to do if the roles were reversed
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 44
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Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/5/2011 8:50:58 PM
Thank you bcsr61

Honestly, It was love at first sight and although we weren't together-together for a long time, just the thought of her gave me great strength when I needed it most for quite some time... I was told by her later that it was the same for her.

Bottom line, it is possible!
 onesouthernncwoman
Joined: 6/18/2010
Msg: 45
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/5/2011 10:56:12 PM
Thanks iceman, you're right, how do you love someone without knowing them!! I think too many on this site are looking for instant love, and there's not such a thing! And I guess that's why we're here. Maybe we thought we knew our past loves, but people change, they misrepresent themselves, they lie, they cheat (not all, but many do). And it doesn't matter how hard you try to make a relationship work, if they've been use to cheating or maybe they do have some kind of mental disorder, you can't change them, or make them into the person you want or hoped they would be!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 46
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 7/6/2011 7:30:14 AM
The word love is an outdated, obsolete word in the land of dating. Currently, people say that there must be instant chemistry-not love-to have any chance for the Happily-Ever-After land. Women profess to know within a few seconds of meeting someone if they found their perfect partner-their Prince Charming to spend the rest of their life with because of instant chemistry. So if the post was reworded to say "Is there such thing as Instant Chemistry at first Sight", there wouldn't be any disagreement from anyone.
 4asongkc
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 47
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Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:15:49 AM
Absolutely yes, there is such a thing as love at first sight. I say this as a man who plays and sings in a band. I've seen hundreds of women over the years, met scores of them, and still know dozens of them to this very day. I'm not just looking for a pretty face to fall in love with, I'm sort of acclimated to that.

I met a woman on this site a month ago, who for God knows whatever reason, has completely turned my heart on it's ear. And yes, it hurts just to look at her. But it's more about HER, as a person. THAT'S what has made me take a step back. I think she kind of likes me, too.

The BAD news is that we live completely on opposite ends of town, her kids are grown up and moved out, I still have a 13 year old son living at home. Her reservations about us seeing each other are the logistics. It kills me to admit that she might be right about that. It doesn't change the fact that I can't stop thinking about her; as a man who is surrounded by beautiful women. It's not her beauty. It's her.

Anyway, she has inspired me to edit the contents of my profile, including my headline "Knowing What I Know Now...". So to answer your question, YES, there is most definitely a thing as love at first sight. Call it chemistry, connection, whatever.
Take heart, BTW. While there are no guarantees attached to that phenomenon, what YOU felt was not in your head. It was in your heart. Just sayin'...;-)
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 48
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:35:40 AM
I had that. Too bad it only lasted 9 months. It was at first sight, but doesnt mean it lasts tho. Pity.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 49
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:44:20 AM
I don't believe in love at first sight..........no such thing...........IMO you can't fall in love with somebody by talking with them on a computer or telephone. You can't fall in love with somebody if you don't know a thing about them. You have to spend time together IN PERSON. It's too bad that a lot of people today don't want to take the time to do that.

I also don't believe in the old tired clique "there's someone for everyone" ..............if I had a dime for every time someone has told me that......................

Lust at first sight? Yes, happens all the time.........and then we get posts here asking why they don't get another call after the first date...........
 StealthyNinjaKitty
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 50
Is there such thing as Love at first Sight?
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:44:35 AM
Short answer: YES

Longer answer: Sure it's possible, but falling in love at first sight is no guarantee of a "happily ever after"...the feeling may not be mutual, and if it is, in the long run you may not be compatible. And heaven forbid any of us fall in love at first sight with someone who isn't single...that's bad juju just waiting to happen. I tend to agree with most of the posters that what a lot of us think of as love at first sight is actually lust or infatuation. Real, lasting love comes with time.

I'm sorry that he disappeared, but the silver lining is, it leaves you free to find a man that's not going to run from your love.
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