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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > My age is not attractive?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 76
My age is not attractive? Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

OP, don't worry about the age thing. If you are attractive, age does not matter that much to a guy.

THD: It is customary to the point of normal for a woman to lie about her age, you know this. Is it dumb? Yes. Does it bring into question credibility? It doesn't rise anywhere near that level.


Everyone is not like you VG.......to bad.

Agree first statement ( somewhat) IF the man is worth a nickle, but most men do shiver at xx age a bit..They think OLD, she will shrivel up in a few, can't keep up, saggy this and that, guys will not admire them for having a younger woman.

I understand why she lies about her age..I just can't do it ..Well maybe in the future
* snort*



Second statement.

OMG ..I have talked to more" 40-50 "year old men that are 60 to 70 after googling them or they "confess".

The last one claimed 54 and was born in 1943..Jasis.
One before was 60 claiming to be 50.
I could go on and on.

Whats so funny is they have age restrictions excluding my age but send e mails anyway........



Im coming back 39 forever
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 77
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 3:33:48 PM
For what it is worth....
I have dated and been seriously smitten with women older than the OP a few times over the last 10 years.
Age wasn't an issue.
Other things were.

An attractive over 50 woman is an attractive woman.
period.

So it really depends on the guy.
Some guys ONLY date younger.
Some don't care.
 Tallandsexy1
Joined: 11/15/2010
Msg: 78
view profile
History
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 3:55:15 PM
Women you are beautiful and Im 10yrs younger then u and plenty of men even younger then me want me to see them so why you think he wouldnt be interested?
So funny your beautiful go ahead ask start with small talk then say say hey are u single? and go from there.
You should be fine no need to worry you look great for your age.
 sensualseekerns
Joined: 6/1/2010
Msg: 79
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 4:07:13 PM
Try being almost fifty and looking like you are in your thirties as I do. Rather then lie about such things it is better to say nothing. When younger women find out my age they shun away. Older women often avoid me because they think I am too young. It is a no win situation. It has frankly been a problem all my life, since I have always looked far younger then I was. But it seems women cannot get over the physical age issue. Even women who also look younger seem to have a chip on their shoulder over men like myself.

OP If people are that shallow then you are better off not hooking up with them. The problem OP is that you lost credibility in many forms to men when you admit to lying in a way that makes sound as if when women do it then it is "ok". That kind of BS has no place in a positive relationship.

For women youthful looks are a blessing, for men they are a curse.

For any gender lies are a red flag. That you feel compelled to lie says a lot bad things about you as a person.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 80
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 5:29:01 PM
cdn I was trying to answer that; the fact that she has to lie about her age says all you need to know about her mental image of herself. She is saying she isnt good enough based on her age. It is something you cant fix about a person; they have to do it themselves. So while the lie is one thing, the denial about the age is the real issue.

So her lying on her profile gives you insight in how she views herself; at 50 she isnt good enough any more and needs to lie to make herself feel better about things. That attitude is carried with her daily. Go on a date with someone like that and listen to them rationalize and justify how great THEY STILL ARE; it is like they are trying to convince themselves. I do not want someone who is a *has-been; I am older but I feel I am so much better than I was. Age is not a death sentence to a person; it is how you view it.

See someone who accepts their age wouldnt view this man as YOUNGER and thereby not capable of being interested in her. They would accept who they are and decide if they are interested in him (hopefully in more than his looks) and then allow this person to make the same determination. She is finding the man attractive and herself unattractive and it is based solely on her age; she is defeated before she starts. If you accept who you are and then your responsibility in a relationship is to determine if the other party has the features (lack of a better word) that you want; if they don't you move on; it is up to them to determine if you possess the features they want.

I was married to a man 12 years older than me for 10 years, my second husband was 12 years younger than me. A person is so much more than their age unless that is how they view themselves. If she comes clean with herself, embraces her age and who she is now then she will find her level of attractiveness knows no real bounds...it is a confidence thing. As long as you view yourself as the handicapped one in a relationship you will be that handicap.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 81
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 7:05:37 PM
Yeah If she met the guy Online it would be a issue, but she didn't meet him online, so what is the point of mentioning she lied for her age on her profile which he will never see it.
Are you this naive or just pretending?. ANY woman who deliberately lie in her profile about her age is NOT going to limit lying about her age to her profile. If she is lying about her age online there is a 100 percent chance she is lying about her age in real life. Next thing you will try to convince me of is that people who lie about their weight online, is honest about how much they weight in real life?. The simple fact is that if someone is lying about something in their profile, there is a damn good chance they are lying about the same thing in real life. Providing of course that it's something they can get away with lying about.



The guy will never know her real age unless he sneaks into her purse and have a look at her drivers Licenses. I am guessing the next man the op tells her real age to online or in real life...Will be the first man in a very long time that got the truth on that matter.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 82
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 7:19:58 PM
Lastly,to those who never lie in their profile or whatever can stone the OP and me with my blessings.

I posted this as a jest, the bottom line is I am being neutral on the argument because this is not really the issue of the OP's thread.


This is an enteresting thing to say.I would guess it is the thought of a lot of people who think lies,even "little" ones or white" one are okay, and same people assume that everyone does it because they do it. Not true. I imagine there are many,many people who do not lie on their profiles or anywhere.


There are many people who doesn't lie,and there are many people who lies. How I deal with people who lies is the same how I deal with people who doesn't lie with social diplomacy 101 ,I believe and respect the the person who doesn't lie because I can relay and trust him, the other person who lies his words goes to my ear and comes out to my other ear therefore lying is not okay with me. It is not in my breeding to confront a person that he is lying, (unless it is legal matter or concern money and we are in the court ) I would rather have his face save and make me his friend rather an enemy. when I was a kid,12 yrs .old my friend and I went to a movies and then she told her parents that we visit a friend then went shopping, ( I was raised not to tell a lie) but I agree with her lies,for the reason she won't be beaten because movies is against their religion. If I tell the truth will it make me a heroe ????

vvvvvvvvvvv they added
a year after your birthday so you can't tell a lie!! on your profile ,you can't be forty five forever...LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
 Spider_MacGyver
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 83
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 7:22:34 PM
About my age, yes this website says I am 45, as it apparently would until I'm 70. I could delete and repost my profile changing my age but I don't think this type of guy would care either way.


no THIS was the post that said it all.
She already knows his type. Already knows how he thinks.
So the real purpose of this thread would be....
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 84
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History
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 7:42:55 PM
It's very possible that she could be lying about other things don't you think ? I mean her credibility is now in question, am I right?


Yes, you are absolutely right !!!!! She may lied that she is a reborn VIRGIN, and that is very crucial...............
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 85
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 8:27:24 PM
giggles you made some salient points and its make sense, perhaps she may not be truthful to the guy she's interested in, only her and her hair dresser knows the real story.

TDH, not sure why you think Im being naive or pretending? I have my own opinion, you can challenge it do you think im stupid?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 86
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 8:32:32 PM
~OP~ I am VERY anti-age-liar, but I have to say that when I read your first post, my first thought was, "In the flesh, the age-lie really doesn't pertain." I've NEVER had an interested-in-me person ask my age in the offline world upon meeting me. That is one advantage to meeting/dating offline. Because you are face to face offline, an age-guess is much more likely than the actual question (at least early on, at least from my past experiences.) Unfortunately?? Your age bothers YOU !! That is SO weird to me. We're all aging. Embrace it, hate it, sigh when you think about it....but FFS ~ STOP lying about it.

~OT~ I'd not have thought twice about someone in their young 40s when I was single ~ personal preference for me is a few years younger. I'd not have been comfortable with someone in their late 30s however. Age appropriate means different things to different people. JMO
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 87
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 8:34:32 PM
TDH, not sure why you think Im being naive or pretending? I have my own opinion, you can challenge it do you think im stupid?
I have been guilty of accusing you of a lot of things in these forums. But being stupid would not be on that list. I will say you tend to be bull headed at times and would rather go down with the burning building instead of admitting that you could be wrong. Not sure if that's a good or bad trait to have, just an observation.
 whatsnormal2u
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 88
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 8:37:45 PM
I say , if he's cool,ask him to meet you for coffee or something. If he's really an upstanding guy,he will politely tell you if he has other arrangements ,or you may have found someone you might like for a long time to come.Just make sure you have your BS radar in good workin order LOL
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 89
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 9:06:44 PM
No TDH, you don't know me sport, I do admit to when im wrong, I don't pretend to know everything, Im a upfront person, I tell it how it is, I don't sugar coat things, I don't care if people like me or not, am I bull headed im sure I am

Its better than being a parrot or one of the " nice guys" that kisses ass and whines?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 90
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 9:18:34 PM
No TDH, you don't know me sport, I do admit to when im wrong, I don't pretend to know everything, Im a upfront person, I tell it how it is, I don't sugar coat things, I don't care if people like me or not, am I bull headed im sure I am
I said SOMETIMES(Which is something we are all guilty of at some point in these forums by the way), not all the time. I happen to think some of your statements in this thread happen to be one of those times.

You keep saying the OP lying in her profile about her age have NOTHING to do with, or mean she will lie to the guy she is interested in, in real life about her age or anything else. As if lying about ones age is solely limited to online. No matter how we point out that this kind of deception is usually easily carried over into the real world. You keep right on charging blindly ahead making your argument to support the unsupportable. When deep down you know this to be undisputable truth, people who lie about things such as weight or age in an online dating profile. Is very very likely to be lying their asses off in real life about those things also.


Its better than being a parrot
LOL, you will get no argument from me on that. It most certainly is better than being a parrot.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 91
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 9:28:03 PM

You keep saying the OP lying in her profile about her age have NOTHING to do with, or mean she will lie to the guy she is interested in, in real life about her age or anything else. As if lying about ones age is solely limited to online. No matter how we point of that this kind of deception is usually easily carried over into the real world. You keep right on charging blindly ahead making your argument to support the unsupportable. When deep down you know this to be undisputable truth, people who lie about things such as weight or age in an online dating profile. Is very very likely to be lying their asses off in real life about those things also.
Well Giggles made her case and had some good points and you basically re iterated what she said, so I see that point of view and I think okay, second I already admitted I know she's a liar and I'm not defending her, the only thing I brought up was her lying on her profile has nothing to do with the possible interest in this guy , now it was mentioned that she's obviously has issues with her age and may not be honest with this guy, okay.... I get that but we are only speculating at this point, don't know the woman, wouldn't know her if I ran her over with my car, and obviously she lies through her teeth, assuming they are her real teeth.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 92
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 9:38:40 PM

About my age, yes this website says I am 45, as it apparently would until I'm 70.


Yes, and you could keep on referring to yourself as a "girl" until you're 70, too. It doesn't make it so.


I could delete and repost my profile changing my age but I don't think this type of guy would care either way.


If you've determined that your age isn't something this guy would care either way about, what do you need our feedback for?


I guess I could ask him if he'd like to have drink once the project is done --but my question stands -- should I even bother?


Since you think you know what the guy cares about, you should do whatever pleases you. You're not a girl----you're a grown woman; you don't need permission to make a move on him. Or are you looking for an audience?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 93
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 10:10:36 PM

This brings me back to my first point. The OP is, for the purposes of this thread, being truthful about her age. Her question is, in effect, would this man whom she knows to be younger be attracted to her knowing her age. So she is planning on being truthful with him, else, as I said, this thread and the topic would be moot.
It is moot. Just because the Op gave us a different age than her profile don't mean it's the right age. For all we know the Op very well could be much older than 50.
Fact is this entire thread is now moot since the OP has already left us since we started calling her out on lying about her age.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 94
view profile
History
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 10:39:40 PM
if this guy is professional and ethical...and also finds you attractive enough to date...he'll let you know.

but not 'til after the job is finished and you have paid him for his work...
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 95
view profile
History
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/5/2011 10:42:20 PM
The OP joined POF last 8-23-2007 and that is 4 years ago , her stated age is 45, it's about right that she just turn 50 actually 49 but we don't know the month she was born.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 96
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/6/2011 4:55:06 AM
OP, in every decade of my life, I couldn't see myself going out with someone older. Looking at that group of people as a whole I found I was not attracted to them and I believe most men go through this. However, once I reached that age group my views changed based on individuals I met rather than the entire group. In fact, looking downward people now look more favorable on the younger group because it's human nature to want to be younger.

In my opinion, based on the fact that you are dealing with a guy in his 40's who has two kids and you being not unattractive, I believe he is going to be more open to dating. The dude probably has a sister your age with friends he has thought about dating.

I also believe the bigger issue is your professional relationship.

I see both sides of what CDN and TDH are saying, but I've never honestly come across a woman who hasn't acknowledged that women lie about their age nor do I know men who do not understand it. Yes, the bigger issue lies with them.

If the dude can't handle your age, why would you want him anyway?

EDIT: IMO, lying about marital status hurts credibility a lot more than age.
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 97
view profile
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/6/2011 4:26:13 PM
I agree with most of the others, wait until the work is done and paid for and if he does not ask you out for coffee, ask him. If he declines then he is not really interested. Age is just a number, date men who are younger than me , the ones my age cannot keep up with me. They think a night out is outside in the back yard and a movie is on tv.
Not any where near what I like to do.
Go slow, keep yourself in shape and enjoy life.
Good luck. You do not look your age. Heck I was carded when I was 30, I was flattered. (ID checked for age for alcohol)

 Ms Cheevious
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 98
view profile
History
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/6/2011 5:21:52 PM

He's fit, easy to talk to, divorced, loves his free time. I have talked to him while he's working, offered food or drink and he's been receptive while being respectful of a client.

While I am myself in shape, active and also attractive what holds me back is this age-thing. Should I even bother reaching out to an attractive 40'yo guy?


Go for it! He doesn't know your age. Obviously he liked what he saw. Don't take the negative posters' snarky comments to heart.


He's held my gaze while talking to the point I was embarrassed enough to look away,


THAT is a definite sign he is interested.


From what I understand guys his age are mainly looking for someone 10 years their junior or plus.


nah...if you have your sh*t together, age isn't really a factor.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 99
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/6/2011 8:09:46 PM
OP, don't worry about the age thing. If you are attractive, age does not matter that much to a guy.

Very True....But a guys age sure seems to matter to Women!!
I'd Love to find a 35-40 y.o. Lady, but They find me ~Too Old~...
And women in the close proximity to myself (age and distance) are either significantly overweight or look 20 yrs older than they are!

I know...I know...
"Things are tough, All Over!!"
 TXR40
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 100
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/6/2011 10:51:48 PM
*Confused*

A guy, you say is around your age, comes to your house to perform duties. You are fifty yrs. You state he's in his forties. Since he's "around your age", why are you asking that question? How many years are between you? Should not be more than a couple. Around your age would mean a couple of years difference, yes? Give or take, and why be pretentious?

You had a lengthy conversation with this 40's guy and still don't know his age. You shared a "gaze" during conversation, but still know nothing about him.

I say blah with your post and you're a troll....

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