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 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 101
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My age is not attractive? Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Frankly, a fun fit 50 year old woman really ought to not be thinking about her "age not being attractive". It's a moot point to a guy if the chemistry is spot on.

Always, a person, male or female, best serves themselves in any relationship scenario if they just be honest and happy with themselves first, and then share that honesty and happiness with any potential suitors. A few years in age difference either way shouldn't matter.

I have talked to him while he's working, offered food or drink and he's been receptive while being respectful of a client...From what I understand guys his age are mainly looking for someone 10 years their junior or plus. Should I just not bother for anything serious?
I'm 44 and have no issue meeting and dating women in their early 50s. I don't know this guy so I can't really speak for what he seeks in a romantic partner.

The bigger issue is attempting to hob-nob with a business associate. It generally doesn't work, but hell, the OP could give it a shot, but frankness and openness is a must. She'll never know what might have been unless she gives it a try. Better to try and fail rather than perpetually wonder what might have been.
 JonTom215
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 102
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/7/2011 4:52:29 PM
Coming in a bit late, but I think you should not let age hold you back. I have dated women both younger and older than myself. The greatest range was when I was 31 years old dating a 45 year old. She had 14 years on me, but she was more energetic and more fun to be around than anyone I knew at the time. We had a lot of fun and amiably separated when we ended up moving to different states (we were in Virginia, and I was planning to move back to Florida- she wasn't). Anyway, age doesn't have to be an issue at all. Mental and spiritual compatibility matter way more.
 Sirenne
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 103
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/7/2011 5:35:54 PM
Doesnt sound like much of an age difference and he may not know how old you actually are after all but yes they do seem to prefer younger women....Sometimes they want more children or they find that younger women are more easily impressed.
He has divorced a woman of your age probably and many men leave their menopausal wives I find.

Conversely a lot of thirty something and even younger men find the 50 year old attractive especially if the children are adults and she has free time and also is more cashed up with the divorce settlement etc.... The cougar syndrome....

I wouldnt let the age thing hold you back if you are in shape and so on..... Go for it and see what happens.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 104
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/7/2011 5:45:15 PM
Your age isn't the problem...the problem is your insecurity and lying about it.
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 105
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/7/2011 6:02:17 PM

There is no reason you shouldn't see if he is interested. My Fiance is 10 years younger than me and we are very happy.

And she should take this advice when you can't even tell the truth? You and your husband are looking for a wife to complete you. If you were truthfully happy, you wouldn't be on here lying and you certainly wouldn't need another person, a wife, to complete you.

The OP joined POF last 8-23-2007 and that is 4 years ago , her stated age is 45, it's about right that she just turn 50 actually 49 but we don't know the month she was born.

That is no excuse. Whenever the OP has a birthday, the age automatically changes on the profile. Her profile says 45 because she lied about her age when creating it.

OP:
Lying about your age is not a good look for you. If you are 50, say it loud and proud. Anyone who lies about their age, leads the rest of us to believe that the pictures in your profile are not you at all.
 Ms Cheevious
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 106
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/7/2011 6:29:01 PM

she has free time and also is more cashed up with the divorce settlement etc



W T F ?????
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 107
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/7/2011 9:43:57 PM

Conversely a lot of thirty something and even younger men find the 50 year old attractive especially if the children are adults and she has free time and also is more cashed up with the divorce settlement etc....


Ah HA---so THAT must be it!

Dayum---and here I thought they liked me for my eyes.
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 108
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 3:32:28 AM
And the elephant in the room is this: most men want a woman who is: "much younger than he is, a model, drop dead gorgeous, enamored of him, and think he is the best thing since sliced bread. "
The movies show men like Jack Nicholson dating and bedding much younger women, commercials do the same, so when those of us who are over 50 try to find a decent, mature man, we are competing with an unreal expectation.
If I dated this kind of man, I would have to date someone who is 70 and they are way too old for me and could not keep up with me. Not even for a minute. They would be on oxygen after 5 minutes and their nurse would be on stand by.
When a man looks in a mirror, he does not see his beer belly, his sagging chest or his overall old body. He sees what he used to look like in his 20's. Look at some of the profiles of men who say they are a few pounds overweight, OMG, they have two chins, a beer gut the size of a 9 month pregnant woman and man boobs.
Okay, I go a little overboard on this, but I have read some of the profiles of men who are interested in me and they don't come close to what I am seeking.
I met one after we talked on the phone a few times, discussing my motorcycle and my many trips on it and his conversation went to him not riding nor would he ride. WTH??? Then why did you answer my ad, talk to me on the phone and not mention it but agree to meet??
You just wasted my time.
I should do an experiment and and put a photo of me when I was in my 30's and see what happens, I will probably get men who are in their 50's and 60's. Hmmmmmm
 tchntm43
Joined: 11/2/2007
Msg: 109
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 8:57:00 AM
You look great, and it sounds like you already have some kind of beginning chemistry going on. I would say go for it. The only reason I would say he might hesitate when finding out your age is if he still wants to have kids.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 110
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 9:09:09 AM
I think no matter how good looking a women in her 50's may be, a younger man might be just interested in her for an uncomplicated, NSA sexual relationship. Or he may be seriously interested. Depends on the guy.


Younger men are NOT the only ones who are looking for a NSA sexual relationship, and younger women are not immune to attracting these types of men. Any woman who isn't looking for a NSA relationship needs to weed these men out---regardless of her age or the age of the guy.


The movies show men like Jack Nicholson dating and bedding much younger women, commercials do the same, so when those of us who are over 50 try to find a decent, mature man, we are competing with an unreal expectation.


Personally, I don't base my dating expectations on fictitious movie characters. The truth of the matter is that Jack Nicholson is a fat slob with stringy, thinning hair and man-boobs bigger than those of many women---and if he weren't rich and famous, he'd be dateless. Ditto with Donald Trump and that atrocious comb-over.

My pool of available men didn't shrink after I passed 50. Despite the fact that I'm in a relationship and my profile is hidden from searches, I regularly get contacted by men in their twenties up through their seventies. Any women over 50 who takes care of her appearance and doesn't let herself go, will still have plenty of men interested in her.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 111
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 9:27:59 AM
KAT4EVR, im not getting your point, what are you trying to say?
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 112
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 9:40:20 AM
Her age posting on the site is not a mistake... I'd bet money it was very much intentional. The OP strikes me as someone who is very dependent on her looks for many things. My first clue was the fake age... my next clue was found in her profile. Lots of references to youth and "energetic" and so forth.

She lied about her age here because she doesn't want to admit that she is fact 50. By the guy not showing interest in her, attacks her sensitivities about getting old. It's an ego thing.

He might be interested, but maybe he is trying to be professional. Maybe he gets approached by lonely "house wives" all the time and is tired of it. So on and so on...

I don't think the OP will be happy with him for very long. She will get bored once she realizes he doesn't feed her need to "feel young."
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 113
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 9:47:59 AM

Her age posting on the site is not a mistake... I'd bet money it was very much intentional.


Most of the time, it probably is.

OP is 50, and if she stated that she has interests in a guy between the ages of 22-25, she probably would have got beaten up for it. ::Cough:: Linda Holgan and her new boy toy.

OP,

You won't know unitl you ask.
 RaceUf4it
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 114
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 10:54:18 AM
I wouldn't make that big of a deal about it. Some guys like older woman, I always have.Besides it's not that big of an age difference. You said he's in his 40's at one point though and then you said he's 40 years old later in the post . Did he just turned 40 or is he closer to 50/ late 40's . A guy in his mid to late 40's isnt gonna have a lot in common with a 30 year old girl, I'm 35 and 30's about as young as I would go for something serious and long term. Even a guy just out of his 30's might still be interested, your very attractive. BTW your profile says you are 45?
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 115
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 3:41:21 PM
My point or one of them is: most men want the younger woman, I have looked at a lot of profiles and they usually want a woman /girl who is at least 10 years younger, if he is in his early 60's he wants a woman in her early 50's or even in her late 30's.
I keep getting men contacting me who are much older than I am (in their 70's) and they will not work for me.
My common interest need is motorcycles and outdoor activities. When they lead with yard sales, old movies on tv, snuggling on the couch.......yawn, they are not the person for me.
I also get the very overweight men contacting me. My profile states if you are obese, do not continue.
I have given up before and just continued to be a single rider, single traveler and work on my house by myself. I may have to do that again.
Thanks for asking iceman.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 116
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/8/2011 11:33:50 PM
^^^^ I don't agree with that, I think SOME men are limiting in the age brackets they will date. I had a guy 2 years older than me say it was just weird for a woman to be older than a man...I think if a guy is that hung up on age that it reveals alot about his thought processes.

I think there are several couples where the man is younger ...Demi and Ashton is just one example. My second husband was 12 years younger than me, we were together for 8 years. (1st was 12 older and we were together for 10 years) AGE shouldnt be a factor at all. See the person not the age.

I think when it becomes an issue is when THE MEN you are attracted to aren't attracted to you. You start justifying it as being some thing out of your control ...age is one area that most use as rational for feeling rejected. Others use weight or height. Bottom line is everyone has the right to find whoever they find attractive and when others complain about it it just makes them look bad.

For everyone who says they want someone younger or thinner or taller I bet if you could see their mail you would see they are showing the same type of prejudices against other. In this case you are saying men want someone younger but you don't want anyone obese...why is your qualifications are better than a man who wants a younger woman?

You find the right person when you quit looking for limits on things and start just living life. Find the person who fits regardless of age, weight or height.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 117
My age is not attractive? Sure it is!
Posted: 7/9/2011 2:03:59 AM
Getting back to the original question.

I guess I could ask him if he'd like to have drink once the project is done --but my question stands -- should I even bother?

I vote yes, and agree that that is when to do so. Pay him, or take the bill, whichever applies, chat for a few minutes, let him almost get out the door - so that there's a buffer between money matters and asking him out - then ask. What's it going to hurt? Worst-case scenario, he'll say no (he may be already involved), but he'll surely be flattered and pleased to have been asked. Best-case, hey, could lead to something. You never know.

So, whatever the project was, is it done yet? Have you made a decision? If so, what happened?
 tgirlga
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 118
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:39:28 PM
I think I had to respond to this one. I am 52 and feel like I can relate to you, I get more responses from younger men here than my own age. I see you look attractive and younger than most 50 year olds. The older you get the less the age difference matters to me. If you are comfortable with him and likewise , should be no problem. Once the kids are raised, I think everything is alot easier. If h e was in his thirties, might be a issue, I say take a chance.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 119
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:46:18 PM

^^^^ I don't agree with that, I think SOME men are limiting in the age brackets they will date. I had a guy 2 years older than me say it was just weird for a woman to be older than a man...I think if a guy is that hung up on age that it reveals alot about his thought processes.

Well, to each their own on that note. (My SO is 2 years younger ~ I don't even recall thinking about that tiny difference...and I know he did not.) JMO
 kennym2000
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 120
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/10/2011 7:39:07 AM
wow if it makes you feel any better I get rejected because of my age
constantly. this is a very age correct society and its very narrow minded.
I get from t he 20 year olds " your old enough to be my dad " or " my dad is your age "
over and over. yet how many of these women will find a guy their age that will be loyal to them. not the majority thats for sure.

then the older ladies 60 tell me over and over " I have a son thats your age "
why do women look at age soooo much and not who a guy is and what he is ?????

we need a ton more diversity out there . did i say a ton more diversity ??
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 121
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My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/10/2011 8:04:09 AM

When a man looks in a mirror, he does not see his beer belly, his sagging chest or his overall old body. He sees what he used to look like in his 20's. Look at some of the profiles of men who say they are a few pounds overweight, OMG, they have two chins, a beer gut the size of a 9 month pregnant woman and man boobs.
Okay, I go a little overboard on this, but I have read some of the profiles of men who are interested in me and they don't come close to what I am seeking.


You're a LOT overboard. And you are mimicking what you have encountered, which does not represent the male species, but may explain your view..since it is from who you hang with apparently.

What do you..bring to the table?
What was once perky, is now staring at your toes?

It's called life..our bodies are not what they once were. We are scarred, torn, permanently damaged in some cases. Yet, we are who we are, not what someone wants us to be.
What do you project here..You're a "Lone Wolfette, barbiebadazzbikerbabe?" Please.

You ride your own, you are not setting any inroads. Those were done by greater ladies in the past. I think that is really great that you have your VTX, but that does not make you special. I suppose you have a really cute biker nickname too, right?

You really have painted with a broad brush.
Go for a ride, hum the Easy Rider theme song..relax.
 Megan06825
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 122
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/10/2011 8:11:43 AM

And the elephant in the room is this: most men want a woman who is: "much younger than he is, a model, drop dead gorgeous, enamored of him, and think he is the best thing since sliced bread. "
The movies show men like Jack Nicholson dating and bedding much younger women, commercials do the same, so when those of us who are over 50 try to find a decent, mature man, we are competing with an unreal expectation.
If I dated this kind of man

a decent mature man wouldn't be so narcissistic & vain as to expect a Hugh Hefner fantasy.
And a decent mature woman would not waste a millisecond on such a man.

No I don't think there will be an "if I dated this kind of man" -not worth it!
 jcmaine
Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 123
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/10/2011 8:52:19 AM
interested in what though?

A lot of guys may date an older woman, but a lot will only stay for the ride.
 Restar22
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 124
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/10/2011 10:41:56 AM
I agree with several women on here I have not had good experience with older women once I am near 40. Not sure why, too independent on both sides I would presume.
I do look for younger women for there is not so much going on and its hard enough to do things by yourself to have to deal with loads of what most don't solve.

Cheers
Mike
 rjonesbubba
Joined: 4/21/2011
Msg: 125
My age is not attractive?
Posted: 7/10/2011 11:32:02 AM
absolutely no need at this stage of your life to hole back. what a guy is looking for is someone who is real if he thought you unattractive he would have no trouble turning down the job. good luck and stay positive
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