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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 301
Men 40+ and ChildlessPage 13 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

I would LOVE to get MARRIED again. My reason for not is because I want to marry for LOVE again and stay married... xo


I doubt people get married as a temporary fix. Everybody who gets married say they found their perfect life partner and will do the "til death do us part" bit, until things get rocky. Then it's "I can't wait until we're divorced."
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 302
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/19/2014 8:17:47 PM
Some just can't wrap their minds around not having kids. I didn't have any, and I hardly think that any worse off because of it. If any woman wants to hold that against me, then to me, they really aren't worth fooling with.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 303
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/20/2014 9:23:43 AM

If you know several men over 40 who are never married and never had kids, send them my way. I am divorced without kids. I am looking for the same.


Is it ok if the guy is divorced without kids, since you say you're looking for the same?



I just took on a 2 year relationship with a divorced man with 2 teenage daughters who lived with him.


Are you still in this relationship or not?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 304
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 11/29/2015 6:35:54 PM

I looked up celebrities in thier 30s or 40s with no children, youd be shocked. I find that i like most of those characters, maybe we secret superheroes , besides superheros never have children?



The number one superhero who was childless is a guy named Jesus. Yet, so many people use the excuse that religion says that everybody must breed, whether you want to or not. I guess nobody passed the message on to Jesus, or the RC priests and nuns.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 305
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 11/30/2015 8:36:28 AM
I'm 50 and I have absolutely no interest in fathering or raising somebody else's crumb crunchers.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 306
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/1/2015 7:05:44 PM
Ummm I got married because I was in love and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
We were both broke and had car debts.

I also am divorced and child free and would prefer to meet someone the same or with adult and independent children.
The two men who have been most in my life since my divorce both had children.
The kids were not the reason the relationships did not work out but they did not help.
Certainly made things much more complex.

If anyone want to have children, educate them and bring them up to be good, responsible adults then that is great.
Just do not expect me to have to do all of that for you.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 307
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/1/2015 9:00:07 PM
castlehillsmile- I understand and relate.
Mine are 28, 21 and 16.
The 28 year old is out and on his own, the 21 year old is about to be, so that leaves me pretty close to having an empty nest.
I had my fist child at 19 and my last at 30, which means by the time the 16 year old leaves home, I will have raised children for 30 years of my life.
I missed my oldest when he left and I know I will the other two, but I'm actually looking forward to being able to do whatever I want when the last one leaves home.
I have 2 grand daughters by my oldest son, but I can enjoy them and send them back home with him when I've had enough.
I have NO desire to start all over with a little one.
Although a case can be made that a childless man can't understand my relationship with my children, a case can ALSO be made that it's a good thing because there is less worry about arguing over an ex that they share children with, or their children.
I raised my children VERY carefully, they aren't brats, they are respectful, good kids, but you can't say that about everyone's children.
There is NO way I'm dealing with a spoiled child.
SO, in short, to me, a man with no kids is a good thing.
I look for men with no children, or children over the age of 18.
Like I said, I'm almost done with raising mine, so the idea of dating someone with a child under the age of 14 is a no go, just NOT doing it.
 elmuchoburrito
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 308
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/3/2015 11:20:35 AM
Kids and Marriage are easy enough to avoid - neither is a requirement; neither has ever been a goal in my life - I have in fact gone out of my way to avoid both. Never marrying - never breeding. (Fixed at 18 - I knew early that I hated kids)
"I run into alot of men in their 40s and beyond that never had children and it always makes me wonder: What happened? Could you men in your 40s+ explain why is it you never had children (those that don't)? How and why do you think you can relate to a woman that has children? Do you think about having children when you are 50 or older or what? I assume that must cut out alot of women in their later 30s and 40s and beyond for dating."
Oddly - I ran into entirely too many 40 and younger single mothers with one or more kids in tow; and I wonder - what happened ? Could you not keep the aspirin between your knees? and how many different babies from different baby daddies are there ?!? I wonder why I should have to relate with someone that breaths and breeds with the intention to self populate the planet in their own tribe of mini-mes. Do they think that they could even lasso a man into their drama when the younger girls are kid baggage free ? I assume that a lot of guys just don't want to foot the bill for someone else's Saturday night hook up penalty prize.
meh. (if you want to get pejorative about it - go look in the mirror; I merely copy changed your rant for gender)

8?/
 elmuchoburrito
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 309
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/4/2015 2:42:13 AM
just uploaded a photo from the year that I got cut and snipped; yep - I was horrid and frightening.
 joeprscop
Joined: 11/21/2015
Msg: 310
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/4/2015 8:22:23 AM
^^^^ I will say elmuchoburrito that kids do create lots of problems . . . but having raised kids into now young adults, some of my fondest memories are our family times together . . whether at a ski resort or a theme park or whatever. The memories of women galore while I was still single do not compare. Not even close.

To each their own of course. statistics do show that kids can make marriages less happy in many cases. But you know, when everything is always about you . . . its hard to see how life is all that good. When you have kids, as of necessity, you take second seat to their needs, at least when they are young.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 311
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/4/2015 11:42:29 AM

Like it or not we are wired to reproduce and if you "don't want to" there is something going on psychollogically PERIOD. I'm not assigning any blame here


Just another a-hole trying to justify and rationalize their behaviour at the expense of others.

There are too many brain dead, brainwashed zombies who actually believe this shit. They are the ones who trick themselves into acting without thinking, and need to spout this kind of crap in order to assuage themselves. I'll take a clear-thinking non-parent over a selfish loser any day.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 312
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/5/2015 5:13:18 PM
Someone is confusing the drive to have sex with the drive to have kids--and the latter is *not* "hard-wired." I doubt most people look at an attractive person of the opposite sex and get wild thoughts of "I want to have kids with that person!"

I don't think it means anything weird is going on psychologically just b/c someone does *not* want kids--they usually still want sex and companionship, although not necessarily with the same partner ;9
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 313
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/5/2015 10:34:14 PM

Lets be real, every pic I see on here of males, you could see why they aint got kids

Hey! I do not resemble that remark.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 314
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/6/2015 12:47:23 AM
ElMuchoBurrito
just uploaded a photo

What a cutie you were. But then, you're a cutie now. ;-)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 315
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/6/2015 1:36:46 AM
not true that Jesus was celibate and he did father children. RC priests and nuns are often parents of children also. So your argument does not hold water, Maleman. Sorry.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 316
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/6/2015 3:22:06 PM

There are too many brain dead, brainwashed zombies who actually believe this shit.
I'll take a clear-thinking non-parent over a selfish loser any day.

By your posts, I'm not so sure, you're a clear thinking person....
Your words sound like one with some Anger Issues.....
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 317
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/8/2015 1:02:25 AM
Nobodyknew;
How do you get to post so many times in a row?

I usually get a message saying that I’m only permitted two out of ten posts.


As incompatible as a man that has not raised children might be [with me] worse still is the guy who is a bad dad.


.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 318
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/8/2015 4:16:48 PM

Having children or not has nothing to do with Jesus

Not so if, when those children were born, mommy was screaming "jesus!" while trying to push.
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 319
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/8/2015 7:50:08 PM

To be honest id rather be the bad dad. Ive seen scenarios where the child comes to rescue the bad dad, understanding the pains he went through ~.Nobodyknew



I strongly disagree. The bad dad usually raises even badder kids. Most of whom will forever foster anger and a get even attitude.

The situation you speak of is extremely rare; maybe in the movies? Children do not want to pity their fathers, they want and need, to respect them.

Bad dads raise criminals, and in the very worst scenarios, cause suicide. For being unloved and mistreated by a parent is something a sensitive child may not be able to accept or cope with.

If you have children be the best dad you can be.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 320
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/15/2015 1:26:20 PM

By your posts, I'm not so sure, you're a clear thinking person....


Too clear, actually, but I see that it is lost on some here.


Your words sound like one with some Anger Issues.....


Righteous indignation is more like it. I feel it is in society's best interest to confront and condemn harmful beliefs like the one that there is something wrong with non-parents, that there are hard and fast rules to personal interaction, etc.. Everything I say is valid.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 321
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/15/2015 1:50:16 PM

in my eyes the love formed that child, so I wouldnt accept it as truth if the man then says he doesnt want children, that is crazy


hmmm...love forming a child is what adults tell curious children. I think biology teaches us something entirely different.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 322
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/16/2015 2:18:02 PM

bunch of weird looking people have no children, read all other posts, I raise points that clearly state there are several ways to be a father, Its hard to get my point accross by typing, and I dont treat this as a spelling bee. The most least weird looking childless father would be george clooney and even 'he looks a little weird in a good way though


George Clooney looks good in a good way. Yum. I LOVED what he said about his current wife; he doesn't consider her his wife as much as he considers himself her husband; said he's actually honored to be with her; because he recognizes how amazing she is personally and professionally outside of what she looks like. She is an amazing woman and he is a grateful aman. I'm glad to see him finally grow up and settle in.

it's the ones who decide all of a sudden they are ready for fatherhood; and you are the lucky gal who is going to be the mother.

Twice now in the last five years. Both over 50. Both NOT weird looking... But they had other priorityes before (one of them was playing as much as possible; he was a perennial bachelor and extremely attractive ). And something clicked and they decided they were ready to be in a relationship and be a father. Why the heck he'd pick me I sure don't know... over 45 with three grown children already? We clicked personally and had great chemistry; but not for that kind of relationship. Not going to happen, being mother of a newborn closing in on 50? Though I have no doubt he'd have made a beautiful baby.

Told him go find someone a whole lot younger who was up for that.

Some people are so desperate to play they don't think about the other side of things until well into life. But some people choose to not parent, and there is nothing wrong with that. Quite often it's choice; or medical. A friend of mine would make a FANTASTIC father and he and his ex wife tried for 15 years to no avail. So he fathers his nephew and a neighbor kid; and it's reallys weet to watch.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 323
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/16/2015 2:33:11 PM

Love is a big word, In my eyes the formation of a child is just amazing. From sperm liquid, to skull, bones, and skin, and every artery etc.


Just like any other animal in the animal kingdom. There is a child born every second or two in the world, 24/7. so it's not all that special and very common. The same process has been going on for millions of years, producing billions of people, as well as a continuous source of animals.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 324
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/17/2015 7:30:16 PM
nobodyknew- There is nothing wrong with wanting a biological child of your own, or not at all.
I try to be a "to each their own" kind of person (I don't always succeed, but I try).
HOWEVER, it does work, for some people.
I am living proof that people not biologically related to a child can raise them and love them.
The only wrong choice when it comes to children is people who have them and don't want them, or people who consider them accessory's that just go with the person they end up with.
Which is EXACTLY why I think people should be honest when it comes to the issue of children and NOT be judged when they ARE honest.
So kudos to you for knowing what you want and being truthful about it. :)
 2muchluck
Joined: 10/4/2015
Msg: 325
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 12/18/2015 8:45:13 PM
Some men have NOT even been married by age 40...and might not want an illegimate child.
Some men may have fertility issues...just like women...IE mumps or low motility.
Some men are so career oriented in their younger years...they do not make time for serious relationships/offspring.
Women have the biological clock...and it would be possible, yet risky over 40 to procreate.
Men can reproduce as long as their penis works...so not the same time constraint...they just wait until 45-50 and look for a 35 year old to bear their children.
The sad thing is then when they are divorced and back on here and they are 52 and have a 7 yr. old and a 5 yr. old...women MY age are not going to be necessarily interested in them.
(Speaking from experience of viewing many profiles of middle aged men on POF in TX)
(My own EX is turning 49 with a 39 yr. old wife and has a 2 1/2 year old daughter plus his 3 post high school aged kids)
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