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 bluejeanbaby5
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 341
Men 40+ and ChildlessPage 17 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Hmmm. If I had a vasectomy at 18 and didn't I ornate anyone until I had tins at 42....uh huh. Did you get a paternity test done on those twins?

No ne is flawed because they didn't have children. Choice, circumstance, opportunity, luck of the draw, couldn't...lots of reasons and flawed isn't one of them.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 342
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 3:55:05 AM
Women do consider childless men to be flawed but they consider ALL men to be flawed. They regard childless men to be slightly worse. Stupid men are far more hostile by orders of magnitude.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 343
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 8:19:17 AM
Completely off topic but funny

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up.
The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins.
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'.

Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 344
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 8:32:38 AM
^^^^^^ I wonder how Hugh Hefner feels about that joke ?
 bluejeanbaby5
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 345
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 10:33:57 AM
^^^ I think Hugh Hefner would laugh at that joke, he always seemed to like a joke. Hell, he's a joke.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 346
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 10:38:01 AM
^^^^^ The man is 90 !

I wonder what his secret to longevity is ?

; )
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 347
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 11:03:16 AM
I guess Hefner is the epitome of the belief "age is just a number", when he married a woman 60 years younger than him.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 348
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 11:33:45 AM
going to be 50 in a couple of months and no kids here. One thing I learned is that women prefer to date a guy with no kids and no ex drama. Even single parents want to date a guy with no kids. But that's happens in real life even if on the here on the forum some think the men are flowed.

The real problem is that now women are even more pushy to have kids when they get older.
I keep saying I'm way too old to start having kids. don't want to deal with a teenager when I'm 65.

 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 349
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 1:38:26 PM

One thing I learned is that women prefer to date a guy with no kids and no ex drama.


Well, that explains MY flooded inbox and the long line at my front door.

No, wait, those are cobwebs in my inbox and that line at the door was a mirage.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 350
view profile
History
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 3:34:54 PM
I've read this topic with interest, I'm one of those men who didn't have children. Oh yes, a pox on me for not doing that.

Now, it's a lead pipe cinch that my life would have been totally different. I would have had to work twice as hard to support them. Thus, no time to be a parent. My dream of being my own boss would have gone flying out the window. Also going bye-bye would be my treasured motorcycle, no time or money for that. Chances are, I would have had a wife with a bad back. She was involved in a car accident, and got whiplash. One X-ray revealed that she had a low disc deformity that would have made carrying a baby an extremely painful event for her. I freely admit that I am no teacher. I just don't have the patience for it. I didn't come from an abusive family- but my ex did. I was the youngest in my family. I had VERY little exposure to children younger than me when I grew up. I had no idea how to deal with them.

So, just conventional wisdom pointed to me, to avoiding child rearing. With my luck, I'd have had one that hated teachers and learning like I did. Children may have been a joy for many. I'll refer to a favorite quote of mine from W.C. Fields-

"I like children, When they're roasted properly."
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 351
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/25/2016 11:26:58 PM
Life in a word... if.

I didn't plan on having any kids. Every ob/gyn I had declared me unable to get pregnant and I was ok with that (much better than my mother who ranted for grandkids). I planned for no kids, found appropriate words when relatives and other nosy people would ask me when I'd get marriedandpregnant (yes, all one word).

I hit 40 then on to 44, was nicely established in a career I enjoyed and making a lateral move to a different organization with different benefits I liked better.

And life decided to play an 8-pound little joke on me....HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yeah, my life took an unexpected turn.

But I can't really say if it's for the better or worse.
It's what happened and I deal with it.
In retrospect, I should have stayed with the first organization.
In retrospect, I shouldn't have gotten married.
In retrospect, I shouldn't have gone to Germany.
In retrospect... a lot of things would have been different at so many points in the line of my life but I don't really [I]regret[/I] any of my choices. I made them and they were the best I could do under the circumstances.

I figure everyone else does the same - the best they can under the conditions of who they are.

EDIT: As for being a good mother, my boy says I rate 5.5 out of 10 (except when I make him do homework). He says I should be happy with that score because it's above average. I've had to dial down my competitive streak and learn to deal with humility.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 352
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 8:44:24 AM
Fullmoonguy,

Well the girl I'm dating now she contacted me on POF. Had a few more dates from POF but unlike another thread I don't do crazy women. So many didn't go passed the first date or a few dates. As soon as I saw what I'm dealing with I walked away. I find that easy to do as I don't have the need to be with someone or I fall apart.

Sometimes when I hear of guys complain of not getting dates, I don't understand it. I'm below avg on looks and I know it, picky as hell on who I will date. I got my own list of who and what I want. I do know when to bend that list if most of the list is there. I still manage to get dates, I'm not going to say I gotten a new date every weekend but I done o.k.
unless there are some guys out there who date many women at the same time. Then every woman who is out on a date there has to be a guy on that same date.
I guess many woman don't go on dates but just sit at home. Or they are out and about with there GFs who don't have a date with a man.
I looked at profiles recently after a couple years , Its mostly same faces but older. One woman profile heading used to say 30s is the new 20s now it says 40s is the new 30s. Every time I think of it I laugh. soon it will be 50s is the new 40. Yes she still has the same list in the profile.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 353
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 12:31:21 PM
Or they are out and about with there GF's who don't have a date with a man. I suppose because I am older and was married for so long, many of my female friends are married, a few are divorced and fewer still are widowed. It is a different age category where I come from as far as who is sitting home waiting for a date.

I have found that I can relate a bit more to men who raised children; something we had in common for many years. It feels very awkward for me to mention my two adult children, in any context, to a man who never had children. But we can always talk about our dogs--mine is a****r spaniel. What is yours??
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 354
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 1:27:10 PM

It feels very awkward for me to mention my two adult children, in any context, to a man who never had children.

Most men-with or without children-realize that at some point, children grow up and become adults. That's not kept top secret. There's no voodoo magic involved. If you were to do a google search, you will probably find cases where men without children have watched nieces and nephews and friends and neighbor's' kids grow up from birth to adulthood, and might even be involved in their lives. So why is awkward to mention that you have kids who are now adults? You're not doing anything that hasn't been done billions of times before.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 355
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 1:38:29 PM
"It feels very awkward for me to mention my two adult children, in any context, to a man who never had children. But we can always talk about our dogs--mine is a****r spaniel. What is yours??"



I'm scratchin my head here ....

So, are you saying if a man doesn't have the experience of raising a child under his belt you have NOTHING in common with him UNLESS he at least has a pet , and therefore, has at least SOME clue about what it means to take care of a living creature ?

I mean, just because someone has raised children and the other one hasn't you can't talk about anything else like you did, you know, BEFORE you had kids ?
Are you saying once a woman has children what's the point talking about anything else besides your children ???????


*looks around for Alan Funt
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 356
view profile
History
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 2:21:24 PM
"Are you saying once a woman has children what's the point talking about anything else besides your children ???????"

Well, I am a women and all I can say about that is kill me!!!

I am as old as dirty. In my old age, I have come to the conclusion that I am so blessed that I decided to be childless. I look around at young women I love as daughters, ruining their bodies to bear children and shudder. Then I notice their mommy brain issues, and say thank God my hormones never forced me to comply to have baby brain after giving birth. Some have baby controlled brains for the rest of their lives. They don't develop a single interest outside of their children. Men can be just the same.

Nothing wrong with being child focused (I guess). I am just so happy I went in a different direction. I also refuse to apologize for it.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 357
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 5:03:54 PM

I am just so happy I went in a different direction. I also refuse to apologize for it.



No need to apologize but, do you honestly believe this "stuff" (being very polite here) that you just typed????


I look around at young women I love as daughters, ruining their bodies to bear children and shudder


THAT, right there, makes me think that you "believe" a few things, which by the way, I find highly unattractive. And you didn't even have to have a kid to make me feel that way.

Kinda funny, isn't it?????
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 358
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 5:16:03 PM
NDM147 I know what you are saying. Before I knew better I did date women with kids.
After been in a relationship with one I decided I will never go that route again. Single parents like you should date other single parents. I do agree you will have more things in common as kids take a huge part of your life. Yes your kids will always be your kids no matter how old they are, its normal.

As a single guy who has no kids I find it that I have a lot less in common with a single parent.
Took care of dogs and a niece who practically grew up around me. She is now a 22 year old and still thinks I'm as cool as can be for an old guy. Helped put her thru school got her a new car. She knows how to use power tools shoot a gun and every thing a girl needs to know. She done brakes, major service on her car and rear shocks. I got her a knife and showed her to use it. showed her how to defend her self from a date or if someone goes after her. Can I take care of kids yes I can. Oh and she is national champion of ballroom dancing. Just got a first place yet again last month. Some guy will be lucky to date her. she can work on a car shoot a gun and still look good in a ballroom dressed to the nine.

Do I want to date a single mother? no I do not.

I do hear all the time even from married friends that a guy like me should have kids. Its a choice I made that I don't want kids of my own and I don't want to take care of some other guy kids and hear about it.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 359
view profile
History
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 7:20:45 PM
"No need to apologize but, do you honestly believe this "stuff" (being very polite here) that you just typed????"

I believe every word of it.

"THAT, right there, makes me think that you "believe" a few things, which by the way, I find highly unattractive."

What I find unattractive, is that people can't open their minds to realize that women birthing isn't the only way of life.

There are actually books around trying to tell females that if they don't enjoy menstruation they are unattractive.

Kind of funny (read weird), isn't it.

A male doctor friend of mine used to talk about pregnant women that would come into his office and say they were bad because they hated vomiting because they were pregnant. Hated their bodies turning into distended shapes,and he would tell them it was normal to feel that way. Who in their right mind want to volunteer to vomit and have their bodies become misshapened.

Society has been feed the beauty of pregnancy, and many people don't even thing about what pregnancy really feels like or does to the human body.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 360
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 7:33:30 PM
I should qualify what I was saying. I have friends both male and female that never had children of their own, but took other children under their wing as mentors. I am not saying I am a better person because I had children and others did not. That is a lifestyle choice made with much thought either way.

I have dated younger men who don't ( yet) have children and may never have any, and I try not to mention my kids to them because it is not something we have in common. But we can talk about our dogs or his cats.

But I don't rule out dating men who have never had kids because my "kids" are 26 and 30 and one lives continents away. They are both independent, educated and not looking for a Dad to replace the one who died. But yes, I am a "single" parent now.
 sapphiresparks
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 361
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 7:35:30 PM
You have just as closed a mind to those who didn't mind raising children. ^^^. Very unattractive. Closed minded. Isn't it wonderful that you had a choice. Let others make their choice.

And what kind of doctor yaps like that about his female pregnant patients, an idiot Doctor frind. Pregnancy IS a wonderful thing. You wouldn't be here if someone hadn't selflessly given of themselves to carry you to term in her body.

Some people loved raising kids, some wished they could and others couldn't and some didn't want to. My sister didn't want children, I have friends who have never wanted children andntherenis not a damn thing wrong with that. I happened to like racing my kids. Some should never, ever have kids. Hell, some shouldn't have a cat or a dog. And at times it's too bad we don't have retroactive birth control.

Why is it so difficult to make up your own mind as to who you want to date and what (like children) are a deal breaker or not. If you've made it to 45 and haven't figured it out, perhaps you shouldn't be dating, you're not smart enough.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 362
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/26/2016 8:08:36 PM
Saphires you are all over the page. Your profile says you don't have kids and don't want any. So who's kids did you "race?"

China has limited families, for centuries, to one child . Japan for many many years forbade women to use birth control. In Japan they have many public monuments to all the aborted children that were a result of a government that did not believe women had a choice to use contraceptives. Those are examples of retroactive birth control which is a really poor term to use. Hitler performed nasty experiments on Jews that were pregnant.

I do believe in pro choice. Roe vs Wade was a landmark decision.
 glenn58john
Joined: 5/12/2016
Msg: 363
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/27/2016 6:35:04 AM
I don't have kids because the only time I had sex was with a woman who couldn't have kids.

I love kids though. I wish I could of had some but it just wasn't to be.
 sapphiresparks
Joined: 5/10/2016
Msg: 364
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/27/2016 6:38:41 AM
You want to flog me for a typo or an auto-correct? And no, I don't want kids, I had one. I have an adult "child" who also has a child. It's a non issue. I have none that I am "racing" or "raising", none I'm putting through university and none that have moved back home, just one that has a spouse so my major parenting is done.

I was watching a tv show on China's one child policy and many had two. It said a person basically had to give 3 years salary to officially keep that second child. Many couldn't afford that so there is a large population of "you don't exist" young adults and children that have never had their birth recorded, their name is not registered anywhere, they can't marry, the can't officially get a job, they can't get a passport...they just live. How horrible.

I am pro choice too. What I'm not is like Moriama and I don't have her opinion regarding those who choose to have children.
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