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 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 51
Men 40+ and ChildlessPage 3 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
How can a man who has children relate to a woman who does not have them? (referring to a previous post about a childless man relating to a woman with children) It seems as if some think that having an ex spouse and children makes them better than someone who has not had these experiences in life. If all there is to a person is being a parent and/or a spouse and they do not know how to survive without talking about these things or living their lives as a single person if their children are grown than seems to me they need to find out who they are as a person. Then they might gladly date all kinds of people, as they then realize they are dating the person.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 52
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History
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 9:07:02 AM
Well, can't speak for anyone else, but the decision when or not to have kids has usually been a mutual one (which of course depends on who you're with). And besides, just because someone's married or in a LTR, doesn't mean they feel that's a "secure" or "good enough" relationship to decide to raise a family in! There's no shortage of single moms (and dads) that can tell 'ya about that one!
 thrutheyears
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 53
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History
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 10:43:00 AM
They could be the smart ones.
 sexyman7665
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 54
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 1:13:23 PM
I personally was not gonna get hooked up with a child support payment and stayed single for 40 years for that reason have dated almost all the goodlooking women that came from my town but didnt let them hook me up with child support now i am 46 and dont have my mother a grandchild and feel bad about it,i have had several women live with me with children even got attached to some thats how i can relate. i am 46 and if i could meet me a sexy girl that can have children i would still like to have one of my own.it dont really cut those women out i figure the cards will fall as they will whether i meet one who can or cannot have children i will deal with the cards i am dealt and learn to be happy with it. 40+ childless Sexyman
 sexyman7665
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 55
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 1:21:17 PM
Honey some of us are to intelligent to have to split our paychecks with a blood sucking mother with her hand out back in the day i would have rather made a corvette payment than give my money to a woman to spend on my child and in all accuality the child getting about 5% of the money and the woman paying her bill with the rest...... NOT!!!!!!!
 Rozewater
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 56
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:06:02 PM
have dated almost all the goodlooking women that came from my town but didnt let them hook me up with child support


ohhhh, you are so smart - all the goodlooking women in town and you didn't let a one sink her claws into you. You marvel of a man you.

 Rozewater
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 57
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:28:41 PM
Just want to say too thank you to all the men that replied with their stories on why they did not have children, including you sexyman.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 58
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 4:13:30 PM
Fixed at 18; these genes die with me, as does the family name.
It wasnt a happy childhood, and the only way to Guarantee that the cycle stops, is to rip the plumbing off the spicket. No regrets.
 olerancher
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 59
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 5:53:12 PM
I'm soon to be 59 and we never had any children. the reason was, when we married she had already had medical issues and couldn't have children. Tho it was hard, we acccepted that fact and had 29 wonderful years together before her passing with cancer.

We did think about adoption a couple of times but changed our minds. Now that she has passed, I do wonder about that since I have no one. But that's ok becasue I get up each morning and Thank the Lord for another beautiful day.

Hope that help some.

Thanks, T.
 statsman1
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 60
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 7:38:11 PM
On behalf of all the Men 40+ and Childless, I'd like to thank you for your comment.
 LeeCantrell
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 61
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 8:03:57 PM
Ok I can only speak for myself and a friend, I did not have children until I was 30. I concentrated on my career and did not feel it was right to have children and not be able to be a father. ( My parents divorced when I was two) So I would say its just like some women they get wrapped up in thier careers. I have a friend who was scared to have children due to family medical history. He was afraid to have children for fear he would not be around to raise them. And maybe some are just selfish and don't want the burden of children.
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 62
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/9/2011 9:09:27 PM

i am 46 and if i could meet me a sexy girl that can have children i would still like to have one of my own.

I would have read this as a genuine statement, until....

Honey some of us are to intelligent to have to split our paychecks with a blood sucking mother with her hand out back in the day i would have rather made a corvette payment than give my money to a woman to spend on my child and in all accuality the child getting about 5% of the money and the woman paying her bill with the rest...... NOT!!!!!!!

....I read this.
Clarify this. So, your thought is that women have children to purposely collect child support and deal with deadbeats? Interesting that you would think that making a Corvette payment is more important than supporting your own child. What the heck did you think child support was??? To buy toys and the latest video games??? Or was your lament over getting pinched every two weeks for hair plug treatments? You so wish you were in that kind of drama, then you could brag about how someone, anyone, is making your life impossible.
 oldhawk5440
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 63
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/10/2011 4:43:49 PM
My wife was 40 when we got together, already past prime childbearing years. We tried to have a kid and it just never happened.

We ended up being one of those couples that called their dogs our children.

None of our kids got arrested for shoplifting or driving drunk. I am not paying off huge student loans from my dog getting a four year degree in "Liberal Arts" and then deciding to move to Florida and mow lawns.

Don't feel too bad though. I doubt your son pees on everyones tires who come to visit.
 Floramac
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 64
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/11/2011 2:11:49 AM
"""""""""""I run into alot of men in their 40s and beyond that never had children and it always makes me wonder: What happened?"""""""""""""


they wore rubbers,,,,,,,good ones,,,,,,,,
 RIDENHI
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 65
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/12/2011 3:37:03 AM
w ell i havent any kids because my ex wife of 18 yrs wasent able too .We had tried when i was in my early thirties .. and why would you not date a woman with children its not a problem .. unless you dont like kids and had none for that reason ..So dont assume ..
 pinkoleander
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 66
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/12/2011 9:26:11 AM
Where the hell are these men? Send them to me. All I ever meet are guys with 25-30 year old deadbeats sleeping in their spare bedrooms and getting an allowance from dad. The moms were smart enough to leave.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 67
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/12/2011 10:07:03 AM

I'm soon to be 59 and we never had any children. the reason was, when we married she had already had medical issues and couldn't have children. Tho it was hard, we acccepted that fact and had 29 wonderful years together before her passing with cancer.

We did think about adoption a couple of times but changed our minds. Now that she has passed, I do wonder about that since I have no one. But that's ok becasue I get up each morning and Thank the Lord for another beautiful day.

Hope that help some
You know Olerancher, you remind me of a buddy of mine, he's now 53, widower ,lost his wife to cancer in 1998, he stood by her till the end, they had no kids, but fast forward today he's with a wonderful woman and she has a daughter and he treats her like his own, and all us are happy for him, he's one of the good guys in life and like you its going to happen for you, by the way love your attitude and YOU WILL FIND love, just hang in there.

 ltlguy
Joined: 4/9/2011
Msg: 68
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History
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/12/2011 5:47:46 PM
Wow, I am 50 and have no children. I didn't think I was "messed up" because of it. lol. When I married I married a girl that had 3 children. ( A good kids father at another home) I helped the kids with homework, trumpet lessons(UGH) . I saw to it they ate every meal etc. My wife at the time had had her tubes tied after the third child. I didn't have kids. Eventually the wife "frequently off on business with her boss" decided being married to her boss sounded alittle more appealing than being married to me. She asked that I move along. I still see the kids on occassion. 2 are doing great. 1 , well not so good , but improving.LOL. I have not met anyone since that I have felt was a "keeper"lol. So I have no children. I think my swimmers still swim. I must admit. the fact I wasn't a daddy at 17 or so was probably more a higher powers call than mine.
 Rozewater
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 69
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/12/2011 7:43:17 PM

Wow, I am 50 and have no children. I didn't think I was "messed up" because of it. lol.


I never thought men who did not have children were messed up. I just wondered 'what happened' that they never did and how can they relate to the so many women who have had children by their 40s+.

Reading mens' experiences on why this was so has helped me understand and gain better insight on what did happen for many and has lessened my views of potential incompatibility on that account.

Thanks again for the explanations.
 leadpipe1958
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 70
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/12/2011 8:36:08 PM
Thank you Seasoned Gent.
For me We were to busy having fun.In the end she left and became a crack whore( Ma be not with kids Who knows? )
The courts are brutal on fathers.I have seen many good men ruined because she got bored.
I would have loved to have kids,Just did not happen we should have had dozens.
SO it is just the way it went.
 karst_56
Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 71
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/12/2011 8:37:23 PM
I have 2 grown Children that I love dearly.

Some people are childless by choice, which I for one respect.
Sure they miss out on all the good things and bot so good.
IMO it is an even wash.

Our mother Earth is not capable of sustaining the population
on this planet past another 50 years.

On another note:

Some people have and never will marry.
This is ok too, because as long as a person is Happy
that is all that matters.

Personally speaking I would rather live alone and be happy rather than
live with someone who detracts from my happiness.

Grand Kids:
There are many days that I wish that I had some, but both of my Children have chosen
to remain Childless BY CHOICE !
 Home_for_30
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 72
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/12/2011 10:11:37 PM
OP, I'll tell you what happened... from a 43YO man, married twice, no kids...now living the life my friends with kids are jealous of. I did what I wanted to, not what society and others thought I should have done. Yes, several people to include my parents, have questioned me as to why I never wanted kids. To me having a child is a VERY serious thing and should only happen to those willing to make a life time of scarifice. Your time, your love, your money...to some it is endless joy...but to many I know, it isn't. Not the say they do not love their childern with all their soul, but most say they wouldn't do it again...or atleast would have waiting much longer. I was not ready for that commitment and still not. And to be honest, I only date women that have never had kids, or their kids are grown and gone. Which means they had them young, paid their dues and are now ready to be a little bit shelfish and enjoy life! I respect those that have brought life into this world and have done the things needed to be a good parent...but I ask that people respect my choice to be honest with myself and remain child free.
 teresa225
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 73
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/13/2011 3:22:02 AM
I have a co worker who married a 43 year old women when he was 32.She had one 13 year old and could not have anymore kids .When she was 63 and he was 52,he met a 33 year old and they talked about his life and why he was childless.To make a long story short,he told his wife of his desire of becoming a father at 52.So divorce,and hopefully he might become a father.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 74
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/13/2011 4:15:59 AM
Some people have no desire to have children. Why is that so difficult to comprehend? I do admit to having difficulty understanding why some people have children, as they do not seem to have time for them and/or spend so much time keeping up with the Joneses when they cannot affort to do so or living their lives through their children.
 Home_for_30
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 75
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 7/13/2011 6:07:46 AM
^^^^or they have 2, 3, 4 or more kids when they can not even afford the first child. I can understand if the first child was a 'oops'...but after that, wrap it or snip it if you can not afford them.
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