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 ~Arianna~
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 201
Men 40+ and ChildlessPage 9 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Not the circumstance at all. Daughter & her boyfriend moved in .. and a baby coming in June. They both HAD jobs but he encouraged them both to quit their jobs after they both kept complaining about it without even getting a new one first?? They will never become independent adults when being enabled to be 100% dependent on him now. They are not even responsible for doing anything but doing their own dishes! I'd have them doing all the house & yard work to teach them SOME responsibility!
 Steve_Sandy
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 202
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/1/2013 3:52:32 AM
am over 40 and have no kids

something to do with not meeting someone that I liked enough to have kids with

not expecting to have kids now, but who knows...

an old friend of mine is in his 70's he divorced his wife of 25 as she wanted kids and he suspected he would be dead before they grew up, she was very keen on him and having kids despite the large age gap
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 203
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/1/2013 9:51:45 AM
Whenever a breeder questions people who decided to be childfree, the first question I ask them is "What made you decide to have kids?" Not one has been able to give a valid response. It's always the same mindless, placenta brained responses: "It's what people are supposed to do" (according to whom?), "the bible says people have to do it" (often times, from people who are not religious), if nobody had kids, there wouldn't be any people on the planet (when was the last time there was a shortage of people on the planet?). Whenever I heard idiotic talk about the topic, it convinces me that breeding kills brain cells.
 Verpflichtet
Joined: 2/10/2013
Msg: 204
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/1/2013 12:20:47 PM
Wanted kids just the woman I married and later divorced didn't.
 Bohica4u
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 205
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/1/2013 1:46:12 PM
i grew up watching all 3 of my older sisters getting pregnant,married in their teens and witnessed the divorces and after math of bad decisions. I love kids and my friends and ex-gf's say I'm great with them but I refused to have kids without being married. I almost always carried condoms and if I didnt have one at the right time I actually would tell the girl its not going to happen plain and simple. I credit being raised more by my grandparents which in turn gave me my belief and values to this day. I think I'm normal and possibly used my big head more to make possible life changing decisions then my little head...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 206
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/1/2013 1:55:02 PM

The guys that are past 40 and do not have children are probably the smartest men . They haven't had the pleasure of being turned into a indentured servant by way of no fault divorce court . They aren't missing anything .


Not all fathers were dumb a s s' and got married too!!!!

My daughter is the one thing I know that I got right in my life.
 OrdinaryMan66
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 207
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/1/2013 3:02:54 PM
First of all, I agree - the OP's entire post is rife with negative implications towards childless men. But that has been covered. For myself, it just never happened. I cannot really say why, it certainly wasnt due to lack of effort! Probably a combination of the resentment I felt after being abandoned by my first wife, and the resulting inability to trust women for a very long time afterwards. As I got older I saw more and more of my brothers and male friends lives ripped apart through frivolous divorce and alimony and child support, so at some point I simply decided women werent worth it. The message was and is pretty clear - children are the de facto property of the mother. 'Nuff said.


How and why do you think you can relate to a woman that has children?


Again, let's not go into the obvious negatives or inadequacies this question implies. What I want to do is make a comparison. It has been my experience that men are significantly more willing to take on the surrogate role with non biological children. I see it quite often and think it speaks volumes in favor of the male character. I myself and many of my friends have been Big Brothers. But the reverse is not so common. Perhaps this is because of the undeniable fact that women are about 99.9% more likely to be the primary parent after a divorce or child birth, usually by legally sanctioned and enforced theft. But still I wonder. What makes a childless woman think she can relate to a man who has children? Does this ever cross their minds? Especially younger women who generally want to have kids of their own at some point. Would she even consider becoming a surrogate for the man's children in lieu of or in addition to having her own?
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 208
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/2/2013 10:21:20 PM
Some men cant have children or their partners cant or dont want to. Having children at 50 and over is just foolish in my eyes. Some men marry younger women and have the second family but I think about the kids having a father who is really grandfather age

. If you are dating someone in their forties, usually the children are grown up. Yes, they go on about their kids which can be boring for someone who has none. They dont have to explain anything to you or anyone else, we are not all here just to breed. I for one have chosen not to have children and I know many in the same boat. This is the beauty of the modern age, we no longer just have to cope with pregnancies, wanted or unwanted.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 209
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/3/2013 1:06:21 PM
I think everyones life path is different. Some lives include children, some dont. What bothers me more is older men still raising young kids...Im done with all that now. However, thats MY life, and everyone is different.
 woxof63
Joined: 12/7/2013
Msg: 210
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 3/15/2014 7:45:23 PM
I am 50+ and don't have kids....because I chose not to have kids. No...I don't think I'm odd...it's just who I am. :-)
 papp1812
Joined: 2/19/2014
Msg: 211
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 3/17/2014 2:57:10 AM
I am sixty and I never had kids, because I never have been married, and because I am too narcissistic to responsibly take care of a canary even on a constant and consistent basis, let alone to take responsibly take care of a human being.

Luckily I am aware of my abilities and of my limited powers of normal functioning, and I successfully avoided to make my wife's and kids' lives miserable and awful.

This I consider a special skill: to know where my strengths and abilities end, and what exactly can I undertake in life that I can responsibly finish. This knowledge did not come easy and cheap.
 mnpn
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 212
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 3/21/2014 4:55:55 PM
Turning 60 tomorrow and never had kids. What's the big deal? I get so tired of being called somehow deficient for choosing not to have kids.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 213
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 3/22/2014 6:33:56 AM
Wow I thought at least one stigma we had finally conquered was the one of not having kids. I am a 40+ woman who is childless by choice, and I had plenty of chances to have kids. I never wanted kids. I LIKE kids, and I like being an aunty, but I never wanted to get pregnant, give birth, and try to deal with both kids and work.

No one ever gave me a hard time about it, or questioned me about it. I felt very fortunate to be part of the more "modern thinkin'" when it came to families being an option, not a requirement, or in any way shape or form a judge of character.

I would look more closely into the relationships a man has had...has he been able to maintain any long term relationships? Is he truly a lone wolf? Does he seem to prefer to keep women emotionally at an arm's length? This stuff to me, in dating, is more important to whether or a guy has kids.

Plus, just because a guy has kids does NOT suddenly make him a well rounded man. (goes for women, too).
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 214
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 3/28/2014 8:25:57 AM
I raised 2 step kids that belonged to my ex. At the time everyone thought I was nuts and should have had children of my own. It was ok, we ended up splitting. The kids were 9 & 12 when we got together, 18 & 21 when we split. They are 26 and 23 now. We have a good relationship. My friends say I should have a kid of my own, but at 44 that train has left the station. Early retirement at 55 is 11 years away, I'm looking at the endgame now.

My whole life I was always careful. Always used condoned, always made sure girlfriends were on the pill, if I had to do it again, I would have been less careful and a "whoops" wouldn't have been a bad thing. Being childless is a regret, that's for sure but again, for me it's too late.

I'll be the "rich uncle" that leaves a bunch of money to my (ex)stepsons, and my niece & nephew.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 215
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 3/28/2014 10:58:01 AM

I'll be the "rich uncle" that leaves a bunch of money to my (ex)stepsons, and my niece & nephew.


Dear Uncle Reason:

I found you at last !!

Signed,
Your Long Lost Nephew

(who also has no kids)
 woxof63
Joined: 12/7/2013
Msg: 216
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/17/2014 6:05:24 PM
"Missed" having children?! Yikes! There are those of us out there who "chose" not to have children. It's not for everyone. I believe it's better to not have children if you don't desire them rather than have them and regret it because that is what society direct. I do not EVER "miss" having children!
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 217
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/21/2014 3:47:44 AM

I run into alot of men in their 40s and beyond that never had children and it always makes me wonder: What happened? Could you men in your 40s+ explain why is it you never had children (those that don't)? How and why do you think you can relate to a woman that has children? Do you think about having children when you are 50 or older or what? I assume that must cut out alot of women in their later 30s and 40s and beyond for dating.

Is this a real question? What "happened"? So men are supposed to have children, let alone by a certain age, otherwise something "wrong" or "bad" must have happened? Seriously?

For some who wanted children and a family, but haven't, the question might be applicable. But that's different obviously.

How or why could we relate to a woman who has children? That's easy. By doing so. With our brains. Like anything else. Yes, it often takes having that experience to understand, but it's not required. Just as having children doesn't automatically result in you having more sense or wisdom on the matter than someone who hasn't.

Myself, I figure that by my age I'd either no longer want to have my own children, or think that the chances of it happening are quite low...because I'd want for my children to still have a father when they are out of high school, and, I don't think that I'm going to find a woman substantially younger who wants someone my age anyway (so to at least have one parent still around by high school), nor a woman my age who feels like doing all that beyond a certain age herself.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 218
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/21/2014 7:52:25 PM

Could you men in your 40s+ explain why is it you never had children (those that don't)?


My inner child didn't want any siblings.
 sassyscorpiochick
Joined: 9/29/2010
Msg: 219
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/23/2014 11:52:55 PM
What if you never wanted kids and your ex told you that she was through menopause and is now pregnant and planning to keep the kid. She's 54 and he's 60. It's a woman's right to choose, after all. She's already in her 2nd trimester so he has no choice.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 220
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/24/2014 3:12:51 AM
^ Breast feeding might be traumatic for that kid.

Sorry...couldn't resist. I know...that's just wrong.

I use the forums to prove that I do have a sense of humor after all...used to be accused of being too serious and anal.

No, not talking about that kind of anal...chill out, go take a cold shower.

That's what she told me last night.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 221
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/25/2014 8:18:06 AM

I wish there were more 40+ women without children, that would be ideal!


I totally agree. There would be a lot less issues and baggage if a women was able to cut ties to the past and ex's and focus on the future instead.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 222
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/25/2014 11:05:20 PM
^ & ^ Are those jokes? Just leave their child behind somewhere and forget about them? You need to realize that probably most women this age have children. Or half? Well at least some significant percentage. Kids aren't such a big deal, y'all. Are they? Hell, you can let your own inner child out while you play with legos or vid games with your girlfriend's child, and then get you some of the mother's hoo-hoo as well. Wouldn't that be a way that you could look at it?

I used to love legos myself. And popsicle sticks and glue. Gimme the kid, we'll have a blast.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 223
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/26/2014 8:03:39 AM

I totally agree. There would be a lot less issues and baggage if a women was able to cut ties to the past and ex's and focus on the future instead.


But do they want a future with you?
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 224
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 4/27/2014 6:48:17 PM
From what I've seen many childless men in their 40's still want children... you can't assume that just because they're over 40 and have no children they don't want any. They put it off because they can. But for the ones who really don't want kids... so what??? I can't believe in this day and age people are still surprised by this.

It just goes to show the smug feelings of superiority among the "married with children" class, is never going to die.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 225
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Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/3/2014 12:43:25 PM
So it's a bad thing to have not gotten women pregnant that you were not going to get married to? Is it a bad thing to have played it safe and not had a oops? Is it a bad thing to not have fallen for the I don't like the feel of condoms from a woman so there was a higher chance of her getting the baby she wanted and the baby trap so many fall into?

How to relate to kids is in peoples instincts. Most single people have friends with kids, you don't remain friends if you ignore their children when you are visiting.
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