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Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 18
Ladies is it worth it?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

In these situations I need to understand why she's not keen and I strongly suspect she may have chosen a work colleague of mine over me.

Seriously? WHY doesn't matter quite frankly. The point is she only wants to be FRIENDS.
So she may have chosen a co-worker over you.........and your point is?
^^You ASSume, correct?..... Well.... You know what they say.
Why can't people just take what someone says at face value instead of trying to make it into something else?
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 19
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/6/2011 4:09:38 PM

hopefully she's genuine

I think I can handle just being her friend and I certainly wouldn't tell her if I couldn't.

You want HER to be genuine... but YOU can't even be honest.
What a joke.
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 20
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Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/6/2011 4:15:22 PM
Very true 4x4. Good point well made. I've got enough going on in my life than to have a friendship that's like that. I'll probably just see how things pan out and take it from there and I think I'm just being paranoid about the other guy, he's most likely friend zoned too.
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 21
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Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/6/2011 4:18:28 PM
Yes, sometimes you just get a friend at first. Go as a friend and enjoy. You have several things in common, so enjoy. Is your clock ticking? Ignore it for now. It is what it is . Don't stress out and sweat the small stuff. If you act desperate it will give bad signals.
You are not peeing on the bushes marking your territory. That is another reason some people don't like "office" romances, they complicate things too much. Go slow, do not talk to her about it. Just go cycling with her, grab a cold drink at a juice bar, offer to pay but if she says no thanks, then okay, you asked.
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 22
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/6/2011 4:20:38 PM
You are not " friends" in the traditional sense, you are being friends with her under false pretenses , you're hoping being friends with her keeps you in her thoughts and when the other guys falls down on the job she will come running to you? while friends first works with some people its really a small percentage that actually succeeds and can make that transition

Second thing, you work with her and I suspect if either you resigned from your present position, I seriously doubt you would keep in contact or you will end up making things awkward by asking her out again, Honestly you should keep work and your personal life separate.

Third , she knows you like her but she only likes you as a friend, a out door companion to do things with, Most women knows within 5 minutes of meeting a man, if he's lover material or friendship material, all this talk about being friends with her first and " hopes" one day she will acquiesce to your desires is nuts, it rarely happens except in the movies and Harlequin romance novels.

Personally you should really think about it, can you be friends with someone when every time you look at her you desire her even more?
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 23
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/6/2011 6:07:11 PM
"Worth a pop" -- god i hope you don't mean by that, what some would be meaning.
Look, she asked you, so the chance her just-friends boundary is genuine, skyrockets IMO.

You're a big happy family and you tried to date within the family? Eeewwww. (just kidding op)

Did you ever see the Will and Grace episode where a man asked them both to dinner and they both assumed he had romantic intent?

It reminded me of how I tried to live my life until I encountered enough resistance to make it no fun; and of a possible reason people (and by that I mean women), hesitate to make a first move whether with friendly intent; romantic intent; or just a basic, uncomplicated wish to know a person better.
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 24
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/6/2011 6:24:26 PM
Look at it this way. Months from now you could be hurting and complaining, "Why didn't she tell me at the start that she only wanted to be friends?"

Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 25
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Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/6/2011 7:08:05 PM
Depends on her, is she honest or lying? Whatever, she's not interested in being more than friends and if you two keep cycling together then I would guess she was happy to be just friends with you. Some women like to keep guys around whom they know what them but can't have them, it's an ego thing. Other women don't want male friends at all. Some just want friends and are not happy about a guy hitting on them when they think they are friends. Only she knows how she feels.
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 26
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/6/2011 7:12:30 PM
friends is the code word for you aint knocking my boots, and dropping my panties
you have one or more red flags as far as she is concerned.

Cure it; ask her if she has any of her girlfriends that are interested in looking for a guy romantically - net work\ off of her, and forget getting into stick the pink (because it is all they think we want anyways)
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 27
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2011 12:37:48 AM
OP, if you were in America I would advise you to tread lightly. We have powerful anti-harassment laws and it is very scary to meet someone at work and consider dating them.
As a rule, we say hello and goodbye to everyone, and not much more, and that's how we keep our jobs.
It's much safer to meet people online!
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 28
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2011 5:20:04 AM
Well, as David D'Angelo say's in his blog newsletters- she may sense that your a wuss.

God read David D'Angelo's stuff on-line on "what attracts women to men".
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 29
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Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2011 10:12:41 AM
Hi all

There's been a development. I invited her cycling again today. She said she's been:

'thinking half and half whether to go! mainly weather dependant. I might let you go on your own for this one as I'm in an airy fairy mindset!:)'

It wouldn't be much trouble for her to go cycling as she only lives down the road and she's made it very clear that the weather isn't the only factor here.

I don't think I'll ask her again. Although she said she's happy to be friends I think she's only willing to see me if there are other friends there which is understandable I suppose. She's invited others along before.

Oh well.
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 30
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2011 10:20:56 AM
You don't think you will invite her again? I'll place a bet that you will , over under 6 months.
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 31
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Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2011 10:46:33 AM
I'm not going to pester her Iceman, especially as we work together it wouldn't be at all appropriate. If she wants to be friends like she say's she does the ball is now firmly in her court.
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 32
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Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2011 11:27:48 AM
Don't be her friend.

You need to do the same thing to women as they do to you, and you will be alot happier. The only women I'm friends with are the ones I am not attracted to. I am not friends with any woman who rejected me or dumped me. I am friends with a ex or 2 that I dumped.

Such is life.

Don't screw yourself over being a friend zoned guy cause its gonna eventually eat at you and piss you off.
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 33
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2011 12:06:06 PM
OK this is getting creepy. You work with a woman who said "FRIENDS ONLY".... and yet you continue to pine for her, ask her out, dissect her moves, etc.....

Move on, dood. The woman said no. What more do you need?

Sorry... gonna say it: Pathetic. *Some* just need a hammer over their head before they get it. No means NO. Not maybe, not yes...later, it's NO.

Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 34
Ladies is it worth it?
Posted: 7/7/2011 12:21:30 PM

You're never going to get laid... there will never be any sex.... you need to walk away if you have self respect.

^^^^typical male response right usual all about sex and nothing else

OP, this woman has told you she only wants to be friends. You should leave it at that and move on. Stop pestering her to go cycling.
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