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 Thomas manning
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 58
Inappropriate age difference?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Id say its all about maturity levels i dated a 18 yr old while i was 22 BIG mistake
 nikinikaia
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 59
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History
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/4/2011 2:29:01 PM
Age difference is a personal preference - obviously he feels it is too great a departure for him to consider. Why should he enter into something when his personal boundaries are telling him it isn't what he wants?

My folks have almost 9 years between them - mother is now 83 and my dad just turned 92. They have had a loving, faithful marriage, but when I asked my mom about the age difference she said if she had it to do over again she wouldn't be involved with someone that much older than her.

10 years is a generation of difference - no matter the age the two people meet at. And it continues to be a generation of difference. I'm not saying it never works, but it takes two VERY dedicated individuals to keep it working for BOTH of them.

Myself, 10 years would be the extreme for me and I would definitely be VERY cautious about entering into that kind of relationship.

So, no, I don't think he's wrong for making the decision that is right for HIM - after all, he shouldn't be making decisions about life choices for anyone BUT himself.

 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 61
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/5/2011 1:43:51 PM
When I think of age difference in partners, I think of Hugh Heffner, founder of Playboy, who was engaged to a Playmate. He was 84 and she was 24 when they got engaged. If you think s 8 or 9 year difference is a bit much, what about a 60 year difference? But I guess they would say she was a "mature" 24. lol. Do people still think age is just a number?

Actually it's quite common for rich old geezers to marry sexy women young enough to be their daughters-or granddaughter in Heffner's case.
 aero86
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 62
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/5/2011 5:01:51 PM
the woman ive been talking to is ten years older than me, im 29. we clicked pretty much right away. i NEVER say anything about it, she of course probably thinks about it, but idk. as long as they are of age, then let them try. couldnt hurt. if it doesnt work, maybe they can learn something from each other.
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 63
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 3/17/2012 2:50:56 PM
Men sing a different tune when the woman is the one who is older.... bugs the shit out of them that older women can attract younger men... it's not okay then!!
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 64
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 3/17/2012 4:49:53 PM
^^^^^ Women sing that same tune....basically what it REALLY is is the "have-nots" crying about the "haves"!
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 65
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 3/21/2012 3:21:37 PM
Half your age plus 7. Look it up :D

A 32 year old with a 23 year old is perfectly fine :)
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 66
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 3/21/2012 7:47:24 PM

Half your age plus 7. Look it up :D
That only works for one year...and for people with poor math/reasoning skills since everyone will at one point or another reach that formula!
 awesomefiftyman
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 67
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/15/2014 7:22:47 PM
Funny, I recently had someone tell me I should date people my age.
Huh?

There is the general understanding that women mature quicker than men.
Generally speaking, girls mature "physically" sooner than boys.
There is the belief that girls mature "mentally" sooner than boys. ... < That is debatable.

In my experience,
when I was in High School, the majority of 16, 17 to 18 year olds swooned and chased after the 20 to 25 year old men.... Or the boys who had the money and car.
Watched enough of Donahue and read enough of my Mom's women's magazines to get an idea of what was going on.
Realized that the opportunities will come later when I am in my 20's and have a car.

From there,
it seemed that women were still interested in older men.
Women my age and older weren't interested.
So my dates were always younger. Probably 3 to 5 years younger on average.

The mentality going around seems to be that as we get older, the age gap can stretch to 10 years.
Myself, I would say that shouldn't happen till 35 years old. Just my opinion.
Although there are always exceptional circumstances depending on the individual.

Now the funny part..... that woman who said I should date people my age...
Hey, the majority of women who were interested in me were always younger.
Allegedly, the general thought was that women mature sooner.
So why would I start dating my own age now?

Would not the mental maturity of a woman 5 to 10 years younger be more appropriate for me?
Doesn't the fact that most women matured "physically" sooner mean that they have now become "physically" older sooner than me?

A comical discussion to say the least......
Play ball!
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 68
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/15/2014 9:44:32 PM
If you want younger, then don't make all sorts of excuses as to why!!!. If you get women in the age group that you desire, showing interest, well and good. As for physical maturing and the differences between the genders, that is bullcrap and just silly justification. Older men with money, who are reasonably fit and have personality will draw the younger woman. So if you have all that, go for it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 69
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/16/2014 10:53:14 AM
I think the only inappropriate age difference is under the legal
drinking age...which I guess is different from state to state, but
21 around here.

Someone my age dating someone 21 is a little creepy to me, but
other than that...not my business.

I think either gender dating decades younger has to have something
special going for them. Could be money, could be a lifestyle, I dunno.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 70
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/16/2014 10:59:19 AM
^^^ Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris wedding pictures look a little creepy to me, and I have a pretty easy going attitude about all things dating.

The age difference between the two is larger than my own age of 62.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 71
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/16/2014 5:12:11 PM
Those women from very poor backgrounds and poverty stricken will marry the much older guy to get immigration and hopefully a better life. He often has a grown up family but soon is the father of more. I guess the women figure the taxpayer will take care of their kids if the older guy dies or have anything that he may bequeath to her. How often it works out?? Who knows.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 72
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/16/2014 6:08:30 PM

^^^ Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris wedding pictures look a little creepy to me, and I have a pretty easy going attitude about all things dating.


I looked up the creepy pix….he looks like a mummified cadaver.

Maybe she likes the way his man boobies bounce off his droopy shriveled balls. :/
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 73
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/16/2014 7:21:16 PM

I think once you're both adults, age is less important.

Ehhh, it gets the legal stuff out of the way -- but with that aside, I have to say it is pretty important.

One of my friends, the same age as me, has an ex who is 50.

Alright, unless it's a short-term/fling sorta thing, and he's SMOKING HOT for a 50 year old (looks 40, in awesome shape; ladies look at him; surprised he's 50) -- then it's weird and "inappropriate" to some degree.

"Inappropriate" in what way? Kind of like seeing a thin, slender, nice looking gal go out with a very obese kid with no sense of style and no job. First thing's going to be "That girl has issues." Same if you switched gender roles, too of course.

Now, if someone's just-dating -- and they're in the same league with it all said and done besides looks? Not a problem. Long term to ride off in sunset but the rest the same? Ehhh.... if she's a nice looking 25 year old gal, and he's 55 and nice looking for his age -- in 10 years at 35, she's not going to want to be with a guy who's waiting for his social security check. :)
 awesomefiftyman
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 74
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/16/2014 10:33:26 PM

petula1908 on 12/15/2014 1032 PM
If you want younger, then don't make all sorts of excuses as to why!!!. If you get women in the age group that you desire, showing interest, well and good. As for physical maturing and the differences between the genders, that is bullcrap and just silly justification. Older men with money, who are reasonably fit and have personality will draw the younger woman. So if you have all that, go for it.


petula1908,
I will give you a Readers' Digest explanation.

1. I did not want younger when I was younger. It's all that was interested in me.

2. I did not make up that "physical maturing and the differences between the genders". That's just the general thought out there. And too many women keep saying that. (Especially the younger ones) Google "which gender matures sooner".

3. Why don't old women around my age complain to the younger women about dating men her age? Funny how they didn't feel that way when they were younger.

4. I am physically fit to attract women 10 to 15 years younger than me. Although I would date a woman my age at the drop of a hat....But not enough of them led a fitness lifestyle to attract me.

5. Oh..... I'm a believer in equality. So my money never enters into the equation because anyone I date and especially get into a relationship with will have their own money.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 75
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History
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/17/2014 8:36:22 AM
The situation changes over time in the dating world. Most younger folks, say 18 - 25 date within 3 - 5 years of their age.
Some young men hook up with somewhat older women, rarely to date, but for sex.

As time goes by men tend to date younger and younger women relative to their own age. This is normal.

At 61 I would consider dating a woman less than 10 years younger than myself as inappropriate.
 awesomefiftyman
Joined: 12/1/2014
Msg: 76
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/17/2014 12:19:07 PM

The situation changes over time in the dating world. Most younger folks, say 18 - 25 date within 3 - 5 years of their age.
Some young men hook up with somewhat older women, rarely to date, but for sex.

As time goes by men tend to date younger and younger women relative to their own age. This is normal.

At 61 I would consider dating a woman less than 10 years younger than myself as inappropriate.


The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Most younger women, say 18 - 25, date older men within 3 - 5 years of their age or older.

Some old women hook up with somewhat younger men , rarely to date, but for sex.

As time goes by women tend to date older and older men relative to their own age. This is normal.

At 61,
why would you consider dating a woman less than 10 years younger than yourself as inappropriate,
if it is normal?
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 77
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History
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/17/2014 12:36:53 PM
I prefer a woman within a few years of my age but that is just because we relate better together.

In general, once someone is 30 or so then they should have the maturity to understand what they are getting into for whatever reason...companionship, love, security. Again, their choice so nothing is inappropriate regardless of motive.

A 40 year old fellow perusing a 20 year old woman is more of an issue to me than a 80 year old and 30 year old. It's not the age difference as much as having experience in life as an adult. Eyes are open. In a nutshell, their business.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 79
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History
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/17/2014 12:57:11 PM
In response to the question at the end of awesome's message #86 perhaps I could have stated my position more clearly.

At my present age of 61 the very oldest woman I would consider dating would be currently 51 years of age.

Frankly, I do not particularly care to date women 10 years younger; I prefer dating women 15 to 25 years younger. So far I am able to do so.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 81
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/17/2014 6:40:41 PM
l1gmtm3up

Sure she wasn't his daughter? He would have been up for statutory rape at her age, in some states. It would have been considered odd, no matter what era. Odd and a whole lot of other words I can think of.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 82
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/17/2014 6:44:14 PM
As someone said only a man could strut down the street, balding and with a huge paunch and still think he is sexy. I knew a fifty something guy with a gut that looked like he was expecting triplets any day, get all indignant when it was suggested he was fat!! What mirror does he look in??
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 83
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/18/2014 4:06:51 PM
Like2dance

As Mermaid has inferred, if you have the necessary largesse to date a woman young enough to be your daughter, then that is fine but don't delude yourself that if you were poor that you would have that same success. In the interests of being fair though, do these younger women ever pay their own way at all? Just wondering., If they have daddy issues that is a whole other ballgame. I wonder what you talk about and what reference points you have??

I think most of us think that an eighty year anybody, female or male, with a much younger partner is creepy. But to each his/her own.

 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 84
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/18/2014 4:19:10 PM
l1ghtm3up, in your post you mention what went on in Jane Austen's era and the War to End All Wars (when roads were still dirt and people didn't travel and "see the world" and how others lived). As you may know, back then a woman's situation was a lot different than now. BUT, for those who don't pay attention to history and therefore repeat it, its good to know where an old idea comes from before repeating it thoughtlessly.

On a flip side, I remember the old joke about the 80 yr old millionaire with the young plaything, and people scoffing, "don't you know she's after your money?" and him huffing, "whodahell cares?". When you reach old age and realize there isn't a whole lot of time left...you don't worry about saving your money. If it can buy back some "life", then you don't care you look like an old fool--you're having fun. its not like you can take the money with you--why not do, in essence, a business deal with something that you soon won't be able to spend anymore?
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 85
Inappropriate age difference?
Posted: 12/18/2014 4:25:55 PM
Yes in bygone days the old man married the young woman because often he wanted to breed and the wealthy necessarily needed heirs. She was in effect sold off and she often came with some property or assets of her own to merge with his. She would call him Mr and it was hardly ever a match of equals. I am sure as she lay there and thought of England so to speak, that her mind was on the hot young gardener she fantasised about, and sometimes more..
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