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 JoviGirl83
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 19
First time meeting hook upsPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I agree with Buckeye.

If a guy is telling you all this great stuff, yes of course he can mean it, but chances are that he is trying to just get in your pants. Please understand its ALSO in the way you dress, present yourself and your body signals whereas you can be perceived as promisicious. alittle flirty touch is fine, but if you are all over him, you, too, may be sending the guy mixed signals.
 BottomsUp220
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 20
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/9/2011 4:32:09 PM
If you have sex on the first date, you're intentions are wrong as well. If they were right you would be patient and wait.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 22
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 12:37:56 AM
If it happens...it happens...
If the chemistry is such that we can't keep our hands off each other, sure...why not??
But I'm fairly sure it won't be with someone that can't correctly spell "You" or "I"
 ted61
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 23
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 7:23:06 AM
I try to be honest as I can about what I am looking for and thus, its hard to find a women that is only looking for, and can handle, a mostly physical relationship. They SAY thats all they want too, but then start making comments about "being used," etc. and I have to move on. Make sure you can handle what you THINK you want. It only works when both parties are looking for the same thing and nobody is getting used or "played."
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 24
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 7:56:35 AM

Well im not trying to make excuses and maybe i am just confused,

Yeah, you seem to be confused. You set the terms under which you will meet someone, what you are willing to do when you meet, etc. It doesn't matter if you're ``Long Term'' or ``Intimate Encounter.'' It's up to you to make your choices. If you don't like bullshit, don't meet bullshitters.
 leadpipe1958
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 25
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 9:14:45 AM
I think the way you went about it you set your self for that kind of guy.Try just a date and if you like him and it feels right.Give him the big surprise.If all you want is sex expect only sex.
I am see some one and we are going on our second date.I do not expect any thing to happen in that department till we get to know more about each other.Who knows it may be 3 rd 4th date can't say.I will be grand if it goes because we have taken the time to know each other.GO slow go far.
 dashenka4
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 26
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 3:44:28 PM
Why would you want to sleep with someone 1st time you meet?
You seem to be very confused. Try this approach to make your judgements(and I make an assumption you really do love and care about your child): would you like your child to do that(imagine him/her your age)?
Better yet, stay single for awhile, until you figure out who you are, what are your values and goals, do some growing up. Takes time and work. Get a BOB for now, that's about all you can handle safely for now. If you don' t treat yourself with respect, no one will.
Good luck.
 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 27
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 5:04:50 PM
Tanisha,

Here is one question for you to think about.

Do you think a man will respect you if you put out on the first night? I would have to say 95%+ would not. Sure they'll talk a good game, but after they get what they want they're out. When a guy know he can get it right off without no strings, he sees nothing but a booty call.

Sex is great, I'm not gonna lie. But, I have more respect for a woman who don't and won't sleep with me right off the bat. If things would happen that way, then it does, and we'll go from there. But in any first meeting, date, or whatever you want to call it that I have ever had, I have never once expected or had intentions to sleep with them that first time.

If all you want is just sex and no relationship or any strings attatched to just sex, you're gonna find yourself in this same situation time and time again.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 29
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 6:17:13 PM

You seem to be very confused. Try this approach… would you like your child to do that (imagine him/her your age)?


That’s an interesting way to make personal judgments. Isn’t it difficult to imagine one’s innocent, vulnerable child as a sexual adult?

First of all, they will take risks. They’ll break legs, break hearts and have theirs broken… we can not make the world safe as a rubber room for them. We don’t wish broken legs on little children. But we also don’t wish them to lead unreasonably fearful adult lives.

But there’s this other thing – about imagining my child as a sexual being. It’s like making my sexual choices based on how I’d like other men to have sex with my mother. My imagination doesn’t want to go there.

Then it’s no longer about what I think is safe and reasonable for me (or for her, but that’s beside the point). It’s about this mild revulsion I feel when I imagine any family member being sexual at all. Even more so when it’s my child. It’s just off-putting. It blurs the emotions to associate the “sexual child” issue with the “first date sex” issue. It’s confusing.

As for your other question… “Why would you want to sleep with someone 1st time you meet?” I’ll tell you why I have. Because we had great chemistry. We were hot for each other. We had a great rapport. We liked and trusted each other. We were willing to accept reasonable risk. And because sex is good. Really, really good.
 cuban delite
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 30
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 8:38:15 PM
Maybe YOU didnt meet their expectation...and they thought they would leave it at that..........some people say things to make themselves feel better.....or maybe they did want to see you again,but you didnt meet their expectations...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 31
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/11/2011 10:12:55 PM
I agree with Igorfrankenstein and cuban delite.... He might have liked the thought of something regular but reality was not as he had hoped...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 33
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/12/2011 12:36:42 AM
Hey, if you don't want to have sex with them....DON'T.... not everyone is gonna want to tell you the truth as to WHY they don't want seconds....it sounds like you'd just start an argument about it if they did anyway.... Better to just avoid it.... Besides, how do we know you didn't get all clingy about it?

It doesn't matter if YOU think you weren't...only what THEY think... Heck, I don't even know you and my drama detector is going off!
 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 35
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/12/2011 2:46:11 AM
Because he was doing what was going to get him the prize in the bottom of the cereal box. After he got the prize he wanted he didn't care about the cereal, and got another box of cereal with the next prize he wanted.
 Blitzstorm
Joined: 6/30/2011
Msg: 36
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/12/2011 6:13:14 AM
huhhh huhhh news flash for you,a lot of women out there pull the same crap on us.
 1osubuckeye
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 38
view profile
History
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/12/2011 8:27:49 AM
You wanted sex and got it......I fail to see the problem.
 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 39
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/12/2011 4:41:54 PM
No really? I haven't noticed, but I hope you notice my sarcasm.
 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 40
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/12/2011 4:47:02 PM
Last post was to blitz. Both sexes do it, but men are more prone for it. That's why decent guys out there (including myself) get thrown into this stereotype of "all men are the same, all they want is sex" crap. I know women who do this, but for every one of them I know or have met, I know of 10 to 20 guys like this.

I'm not male bashing or woman bashing, I'm being honest and telling the cold hard facts about the way it is.
 ArtzyDreamer
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 41
First time meeting hook ups
Posted: 7/13/2011 1:18:41 PM
Don't have sex on a 1st date! Meet for coffee, lunch, dinner, go to a park, movie, something. If he wants to see you again, then go for it. He still might not ever call again tho.
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