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 NOREEN22
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 51
Double standard on Oral?Page 3 of 49    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Honey I don't know the kind of men , or the age of men, but a real man that is about giving of self,will do what he can to please the woman he loves. You yourself sound as though you actually resent giving oral -if he does it for you, then you will do it for him??? Maybe if he feels you are actually making love to him while down there, he will want to please you as well in the same way. It sounds as though these are just men you are seeing, by the on the couch, and in the car remarks you made, maybe respect has something to do with it. If you are with someone that cares for and about you, and you about him, men actually enjoy pleasing their woman , especially whe he knows she is giving every fiber of her being to and for him. Your dating with the wrong idea. Do not be going down on men you are just going out with, or don't let them be going down on you, keep your panties on honey until you find the man you know you are going to be with in a serious relationship!!!!!
Noreen
 smplasthat33
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 52
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/8/2011 10:54:37 PM
I have heard similar complaints, but, personaly I have a hard time getting enough! Have always loved the taste of a woman! right out of the tub/shower is better though. If so then I like to be underneath and let her control the rythm. I pesonally thought it was common for men to like giving women pleasure orally.
 lakersyr08
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 53
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/8/2011 11:25:28 PM
I think that if women are willing to give head, then the men should be willing to give head back, but then again like you say that men don't like to give(or some men), will the same question can be how come if men are willing to eat a women out, how come those same women that like to get ate out hate giving head back in return, i think giving and getting head back in return is the right then, if you give you should get
 gymi03
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 54
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 1:38:44 AM
I actually dont care whether or not I get head. Rather have a hand job to be perfectly honest....lol. As far as giving...its the best thing going...I love it, wanna do more of it.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 55
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 6:28:58 AM

Here's my question.. Now.. in my experience.. Men are ALWAYS down for recieveing oral.. in the car.. on the couch.. anywhere they can talk us into it at...

However.. these same men.. either refuse to return the favor completely.. claiming "It's disgusting" or intentinally go down for less then a minute..

Yet women are expected to completely finish the job as part of foreplay.. but men can't or won't?

I guess I just want honest opinions on the subject of expectations of oral.. both ways.. or why men are ok getting it.. but find giving it disgusting and wrong?

Thanks in advance:)


i am not one of those men. in fact, i think opposite.
 nodakmale
Joined: 5/13/2004
Msg: 56
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 6:29:03 AM
If a man won't do oral then he is missing out on one of the most wonderful things about foreplay! There is nothing better than having a woman have an orgasm orally. You have to take your time and make love to her orally but it is well worth the reward!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 57
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 7:38:14 AM

(coxgirl) Here's my question.. Now.. in my experience.. Men are ALWAYS down for recieveing oral.. in the car.. on the couch.. anywhere they can talk us into it at...

However.. these same men.. either refuse to return the favor completely.. claiming "It's disgusting" or intentinally go down for less then a minute..

Yet women are expected to completely finish the job as part of foreplay.. but men can't or won't?


*shrug* You've been with the wrong men. Not braggin' or anything, but there isn't a champagne flute in my h0use that has a dirty bottom...

Arlo...
 ruddeger
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 58
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 1:17:32 PM
Perhaps you should wash it! Ha!ha.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 59
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:26:16 PM
theres plenty of selfish people an men out here..

YES there are men who wont go down either because thier scared or think its not thier place to "do that" or just because they dont want to or they think the fingers or just thier d ick will feel the same uh no it doesnt..an probably the same men who would blame you an say its your fault that they cheated on you or just be the emotionally dead type when it comes to love..

either way ive ran into men who have upfront said they dont or wont
these are things i try to find out early on in conversation now that im older
no its not the first thing out of my mouth but once im more comfortable with conversation an there is a mental an physical attraction between US both then i kinda fish around you have to see where somebody is at mentally an emotionally first off

i had guys in thier late 30's an even mid 40's say that they have always been scared or had 1 lil bad exsperience an never tried agian or just wont go there at all because they think it isnt the mans place to do that..but these are the same guys who will exspect you to perform for them or try the ol push ur head down trick which is funny because ive down that back to the ones who tried to do that to me an go figure they got mad o wow wonder why hypocrite..

hell i had 1 guy on here recently chatted with offline he was decent looking an seemed like he was looking for somebody to date so i casually asked how he felt about pleasing a woman in that area an he flat out said ewww hell no i leave that to the lesbians..

i said do wa? i said ur 35 an have never he said nope they stink to much i said ya probably the women uve been with had a stank but trust men can have a funk to ive came across some funky penis of men who didnt wash themselves so its not just women who can be that way...i asked i bet you like to get ur d ick sucked he said hell ya of course i do.. o whata surprise mr ewww i dont do that likes to get pleased but doesnt wanna please..to top an probably a bad lay in bed to..

then he asked if i was bisexual i said no what does that have to do with anything?,he says uh jus asking seems like everybody is nowadays i said an so what big deal i have bi an gay friends u got a problem with peoples sexuality now,anyhow i assume he thought just because i asked if he liked to please a woman that i must either be a lesbian or bi ya as if only bisexual an gay people like oral sex.what a retard..needless to say after that conversation i was done an over it.. glad i found out through conversation what kinda person he really was..

always listen to ur instint when chatting with people an ask certain questions as the conversation goes along..before having a regret of meeting or being with somebody who could turn out to be a emotionless selfish ass..in an out of the bedroom..
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 60
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Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:35:56 PM

hell i had 1 guy on here recently chatted with offline he was decent looking an seemed like he was looking for somebody to date so i casually asked how he felt about pleasing a woman in that area an he flat out said ewww hell no i leave that to the lesbians..

i said do wa? i said ur 35 an have never he said nope they stink to much i said ya probably the women uve been with had a stank but trust men can have a funk to ive came across some funky penis of men who didnt wash themselves so its not just women who can be that way...i asked i bet you like to get ur d ick sucked he said hell ya of course i do.. o whata surprise mr ewww i dont do that likes to get pleased but doesnt wanna please..to top an probably a bad lay in bed to..

then he asked if i was bisexual i said no what does that have to do with anything?,he says uh jus asking seems like everybody is nowadays i said an so what big deal i have bi an gay friends u got a problem with peoples sexuality now,anyhow i assume he thought just because i asked if he liked to please a woman that i must either be a lesbian or bi ya as if only bisexual an gay people like oral sex.what a retard..needless to say after that conversation i was done an over it.. glad i found out through conversation what kinda person he really was..


STOP..
BLOCK..
ROLL
on to someone else.

 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 61
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 3:55:39 PM
For me, I'm A-O-K with returning the favor. I like to make sure the woman I'm with is recieving the same pleasure I am getting.
 justfishin4
Joined: 10/14/2010
Msg: 62
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/9/2011 6:34:09 PM
I love giving it until the women cums. I like rec ing also but isn't a requirement.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 63
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/10/2011 6:10:53 AM
I've had this experience with a whopping two partners ever, and the second, I didn't have sex with when he wouldn't go down on me. I decided once I was done with the first in this category that I wouldn't put up with that again.

Everyone else I've been with has been hugely enthusiastic about going down on me. I suspect you're finding the wrong men--enthusiastic cunnilinguists are most definitely out there!
 Utahguy801
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 64
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/10/2011 10:14:32 PM
I don't think it's disgusting at all. I love to give it almost as much as I like to receive it.
I love giving it until she finishes too. If it is something you like and wan and you're with someone that isn't giving it to you for any reason you should find someone that enjoys giving it. It isn't a double standard for all guys. Just some guys. I always wanted to give it to my ex wife but she never wanted it. Fortunately for me she did like to give oral. Ideally I'd like to be with someone that likes giving and receiving. Best of both worlds! :)
 ted61
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 65
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 6:16:28 AM
Guys talk just like women talk about oral. Every guy I heard said the same thing. They caress her vulva, then discreetly smell their fingers. If OK, he goes down. If not, he doesn't. Seems logical. Anybody with common sense knows smells are caused by an over abundence of bacteria. With all the STD's out there, any man who brags about "he'll eat anything!" is a damm fool. Why go to college, learn stuff, then throw caution to the wind just because you arn't man enough to sometimes decline an obvious problem. Same goes for women. Do the guys who brag about eating anything, anytime, think women are waiting in line to kiss the mouth of a man who brags that he'll "eat" anything?

And the poster who said you can't get an STD from oral as it's just skin against skin, what do you think intercourse is?
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 66
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Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 6:31:00 AM
coxgirl said:

... never have any complaints in the house cleaning department either..

Maybe the guy didn't want to embarrass you and interrupt the moment. If a guy goes down on you and lingers for less than a minute, something's
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 67
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Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 7:44:25 AM
It's a lot easier to keep a penis clean that it is a vagina. We most certainly don't have to deal with Aunt Flo, and there isn't an entire row at the local grocery store dedicated to masculine hygiene. Just getting down to brass tacks, you're talking about a wet hole.

All that being said, I have no issue going down on a woman that maintains herself. I figure that if I go to the extent that I do to maintain myself (because I, like most guys, like being on the receiving end), then she can as well.
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 68
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 8:07:15 AM

It's a lot easier to keep a penis clean that it is a vagina. We most certainly don't have to deal with Aunt Flo, and there isn't an entire row at the local grocery store dedicated to masculine hygiene. Just getting down to brass tacks, you're talking about a wet hole.


Oh this is rich. How complicated do you think it is to keep a vagina clean? Those products you see on the store shelves aren't even good for us. Plain water does the trick, unless there is a problem, then medication is required. Just like YOU.


All that being said, I have no issue going down on a woman that maintains herself. I figure that if I go to the extent that I do to maintain myself (because I, like most guys, like being on the receiving end), then she can as well.


Again...this is a no brainer. Anyone who doesn't maintain themselves shouldnt be expecting oral sex.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 69
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Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 8:48:14 AM
yew as usual spot on but let me add this..... in my lifetime I have had to train/show 4 women how to clean and maintain a healthy vagina.... the biggest offender was improper wiping after a bowel movement.... and then the use of the feminine products to cover the smell... leading to infections and constant Dr visits ..... the Dr was glad to get the money even when repeat infections required further counseling or education... which never was given.... my ex insisted it was sex causing infections... so her solution was to stop sex.... not better maintenance with frequent washing with soap and water (towelettes) after a bowel movement....

Now I ask every partner to wash just prior to sex as a prevention... and I wash too..
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 70
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 9:05:03 AM
I hear ya, sister. And if they're your age and unwilling, just wait til you get to be my age. There's NO WAY 75% of the men my age I've spoken too are willing to give oral to a woman, but they're more than willing to get a blow job. I'm actually surprised at the number of men my age who have never performed oral sex on a woman before and who say they would never do it.

Most definitely a double standard ...
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 71
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Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 9:19:44 AM

How complicated do you think it is to keep a vagina clean? Those products you see on the store shelves aren't even good for us.

I wouldn't think it would be -that- difficult at all, yet the businesses that are selling those products continue to make millions every year. All I have to do it watch daytime television and I'll see at least 1 advertisement per commercial break.

Also, if it was such a "no brainier," then what do you have to say about gentleplus's testimony.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 72
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 9:45:22 AM

I wouldn't think it would be -that- difficult at all, yet the businesses that are selling those products continue to make millions every year.

It's not difficult as proper daily washing takes care of it, but to make a comment like:
We most certainly don't have to deal with Aunt Flo, and there isn't an entire row at the local grocery store dedicated to masculine hygiene. Just getting down to brass tacks, you're talking about a wet hole.
is just ignorant. You're arguing that because women have periods they are unclean? Seriously? I don't know about other women, but I always wash properly when I have my period, and would NEVER expect, much less LET, a partner go down on me when I have it anyway. Once it's gone, everything is all good again. If you've ever actually LOOKED at the grocery store aisle, 98% of what's there are pads and tampons FOR OUR PERIODS. Guess what? There's several different brands. There's several different absorbancies. There's several different DESIGNS of pads (longs, thins, pantyliners, overnights...). The reason there's a whole aisle is so that women have choices in what they use for their periods (which, last time I checked, every woman, save for those with certain medical issues) from about 12/13 years old into their 40/50s gets her period EVERY SINGLE MONTH, which means we spend 1/4 of our lives for 30+ years bleeding. We need something to take care of it. Where else is that menstrual blood supposed to go but in pads/tampons?

As for douches (the remaining 2% of that aisle), NO WOMAN SHOULD EVER DOUCHE. Douches are a throwback from the 40s/50s when women were taught their vaginas were dirty and were something that needed to be cleaned. The problem is, that douches change the natural ph of the vagina and actually CAUSE infection.


All I have to do it watch daytime television and I'll see at least 1 advertisement per commercial break.
As stated before, women need pads/tampons. Those advertisements are for pads/tampons. The ads are geared towards women because WOMEN NEED THEM. It doesn't make us dirty, it's a fact of life. If you truly see a vagina as dirty/difficult to clean, maybe you should just stay away from them.

I know I, in 20 years of having my period, have NEVER had any infection of any sort down there. I wash daily, wipe properly, and as a result, have never gotten any infection, so please spare me with the, "it's hard to keep clean"s.

If you don't want to go down on woman, don't. But don't blame your lack of interest in it on her by implying she's dirty because "it's hard to keep clean". If it's that dirty, why on earth would you want to stick your penis in it?
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 73
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 9:49:36 AM
Also, if it was such a "no brainier," then what do you have to say about gentleplus's testimony.
I don't know where gentleplus met his women, but I've never needed a man to come in and wipe my a$$ after a bm to "show me" how it's done....

Gentleplus is also in his 50s, so I'm assuming, most of the women he sees are in their 50s and were raised back when certain issues weren't talked about and/or when women were told their vaginas were dirty and so were taught to use those douches that cause more problems than they cure.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 74
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Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 9:56:57 AM

The reason there's a whole aisle is so that women have choices in what they use for their periods (which, last time I checked, every woman, save for those with certain medical issues) from about 12/13 years old into their 40/50s gets her period EVERY SINGLE MONTH, which means we spend 1/4 of our lives for 30+ years bleeding. We need something to take care of it.


Thanks for the anatomy refresher. Where would I be without it?


If you truly see a vagina as dirty/difficult to clean, maybe you should just stay away from them.

I -do- stay away from the unclean ones, and there are a fair share of them out there. I've never heard of a man's genitals being associated with dead trout.


But don't blame your lack of interest in it on her by implying she's dirty because "it's hard to keep clean".

Again, you don't hear about an abundance of men having genital infections from lack of basic hygiene.

Generally speaking, I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of women keep themselves maintained. I'm guessing that the one or two bad experiences that any random guy may have is what contributes to this double standard.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 75
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/11/2011 10:12:17 AM

Thanks for the anatomy refresher. Where would I be without it?
YOU are the one who said there's a whole aisle. I was simply pointing out that if you've ever actually WALKED down that aisle, you'd know that most of the stuff in it is to deal with periods, NOT cleaning products.


I -do- stay away from the unclean ones, and there are a fair share of them out there. I've never heard of a man's genitals being associated with dead trout.
How do you know it's unclean until you go near it? I know I've never been associated with dead trout personally, yet still have had one partner, before we'd ever been intimate, say he doesn't do oral, so I know it was nothing against me. The only time a woman would smell like fish down there is if she has an infection. Funny how you imply a penis is clean, yet I've seen several (which, for me, was reason to leave), that had smegma around it. For something that is SO easy to clean, there's no reason there should EVER be smegma unless the person doesn't wash properly....


Again, you don't hear about an abundance of men having genital infections from lack of basic hygiene.
Just because you may not hear about it doesn't mean it's uncommon.


Generally speaking, I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of women keep themselves maintained. I'm guessing that the one or two bad experiences that any random guy may have is what contributes to this double standard.
All the more reason not to judge a woman until you know what SHE is like. As I've said, the one partner I had who refused to go down on me did so before we'd ever been intimate. Every other man I've been with loved it and always commented on how good I tasted. I'm saying, if it's not your thing, don't do it, but don't blame it on someone else....
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