Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Double standard on Oral?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 seafoodandeatit
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 942
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?Page 46 of 49    (9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49)
use are kidding!
I give more than I get anytime is a good time for me ;)
As long as I will not get a fur-ball and its neat and tidy is all I ask.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 943
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/1/2016 12:48:46 AM
I do check out these forums from time to time.
Thank you letitialegrande for saying I am good looking! :)

I was not in a good place in 2014 when I posted the last comment. I was in a career where I saw no future, and I had no hope things would get better. I continued to do more soul searching after leaving and checking myself into a clinic. When I got out I acquired tools to help identify and manage some of my issues, like depression and suicidal thoughts. Other things are alittle harder. Recently, I realized I had a huge fear of intimacy. I realized I love giving oral sex because it is safe for me. I believed that since I am good at oral (I think), I don't have to become vulnerable to someone.
I hate it when women reject me, but it is down-right terrifying to think that they might actually stay with me.
I realize that I have no clue what the hell I am doing, the scared child in me will be exposed and she will know WHO I AM.

Which is in itself a paradox. Seeking love, but being too scared to actually hold it.
Kind of like a crystal sculpture you see on a counter top as a kid. You can't take your eyes off it, but you dare not touch it lest you accidentally break it.

Add my natural shyness and social avoidence and you got a recipe for disaster in the dating world.
The only way I can function around people I work with or meet elsewhere is to project a happy-go-lucky version of me. It is a mask that attracts people to me, but at the same time protects the real me from being found out.

Someone like that, will always have huge difficulty making true friends, and it will be nearly impossible to find a healthy loving relationship.

I am trying to change though. It is slow and very difficult. I am plagued with doubts daily, but I got to believe that it is the right path for me.

P.S. Sorry it took so long to reply!
:)
 Hunter1
Joined: 8/9/2004
Msg: 944
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/1/2016 4:24:00 PM
Wow,you are going out with some weird guys.Sorry for you,Tell them to man up
 onskiersleft
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 945
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/2/2016 8:25:13 AM
I enjoy going down when she's clean, completely shaven or trimmed, and in good physical shape. I always try to be clean myself by showering or cleaning up with baby wipes if necessary. I don't need her going down there to a sweaty, nasty smell, and I expect the same when I go down on her. Some of the women I've been with love when I go down until she orgasms, and others seem to like it for a little while before penetration. I'll do whatever she wants but it is appreciated when she communicates what she wants. While I'm down there it turns me on to visit the neighborhood. This has always gone over very well! Sometimes I worry if she'll think it's disgusting, but judging by the reactions, the women I've been with have all loved it! As for receiving, I always love it in the beginning to get me going, then in between, and then sometimes for her to finish me off. Rarely have I received a blow job to completion but it is nice every now and then. I always feel guilty when I receive all the pleasure and she receives none.
 vgotx
Joined: 8/7/2015
Msg: 946
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/15/2016 6:32:04 AM
I've always had the opposite problem. I would much rather give than receive, but so many men these days think that they are God's gift to women that they do this. They cannot understand that not every woman likes it. It drives me crazy. They alwas talk about how they love doing this 3 minutes into your first conversation with them, like they truly believe that that's all they need to be able to do in order to get a woman.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 947
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/15/2016 8:48:39 AM
^^^^^

"They cannot understand that not every woman likes it."



The same can be said for some women.

I have been with more than one woman who wasn't interested in receiving and I gotta say it's VERY disappointing when you find this out. For some of us guys, it's a HUGE piece missing from the pie if you're with this type of woman.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 12/17/2014
Msg: 948
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/15/2016 9:43:22 AM
Ditto.

Didn't read through 49 pages. @vgotx - you make it sound like the man goes down to please the woman. I do it for selfish reasons, and if she gets off, good. Likewise, if a woman goes down because she wants to please and not because she likes it, I'm usually not so interested.

I don't give a fart about "double standards". I do what I like in bed and hope to find a compatible partner, that's all. I couldn't care less about what anyone else thinks.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 949
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/15/2016 11:18:07 AM
It probably is the pheromones.
Correct me if I am wrong, but I think that area usually produces a much greater amount compared to the other parts of the body. For many men, that smell can be quite intoxicating and a huge turn-on.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 950
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/15/2016 11:48:33 AM

I would much rather give than receive

If you actually really enjoy that gift of giving, that's good... but if you Hate/Refuse receiving even when not having the guy try it out several times, that's a turn off for many.

but so many men these days think that they are God's gift to women that they do this

Well, (flipping hair; rolling up sleeves), I don't mean to brag or anything.... (polishing knuckles)

They cannot understand that not every woman likes it. It drives me crazy.

It's not really that. Guys do know that not every woman's a fan of it. Technically, not Every guy likes a gal going down on them. It drives the guy crazy who does go down on girls, when the girl Refuses, when he hasn't even tried. Or she grunts and groans about it, which, kind of ruins it all. It indicates she has some issues/uncomfortability about her her "parts down there".

EXAMPLE:
Take a girl who gives really bad head. Lets say for some reason I know about this. I'm a guy who's not hellbent on her Having to go down on me every time by any means... but after some dates, we get in the bedroom. Sure, I'll have her give it a go. If anything, she won't do a good job but at least Aid in getting the juices flowing to some degree even if I'm not enjoying it oh-so much, and won't want it to continue for a lengthy time. And hey, who knows, maybe I'll enjoy it better than anticipated, since I never had her try it. Maybe give a few tips on what to do to adjust and see how that goes. The only harm I see is not giving someone the chance for the 'ol college-try. :)
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 951
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/21/2016 4:27:32 AM
The same goes for some woman....experienced first hand....I'm big when it comes to oral on woman and dont really care if she reciprocates but have had woman NOT because they go ewwww but they sure do like it when Im doing what I like to them and so do they!.....not concieted but know very well how to treat woman and enjoy it whole heartedly but sometimes getting it back would be nice!
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 952
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/21/2016 7:11:05 AM

I've always had the opposite problem. I would much rather give than receive, but so many men these days think that they are God's gift to women that they do this. They cannot understand that not every woman likes it. It drives me crazy. They alwas talk about how they love doing this 3 minutes into your first conversation with them, like they truly believe that that's all they need to be able to do in order to get a woman.


As mentioned before, I have no problems giving oral. Unless a woman has bad odor down there. However I have dated women and/or had sex partners that liked giving oral better than receiving. It wasn't a problem for me. Both of us were able to enjoy other aspects of sex.
 riveting_repartee
Joined: 4/26/2016
Msg: 953
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/23/2016 12:35:26 PM
Being well endowed, i find it is less difficult to penetrate her deeply if a good tongue lashing is administered prior.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 954
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 6/23/2016 12:41:10 PM

However I have dated women and/or had sex partners that liked giving oral better than receiving. It wasn't a problem for me. Both of us were able to enjoy other aspects of sex.

Yeah, I don't have a problem not going down on her much at all -- but being 'banned' would be a turn-off. Especially when...

i find it is less difficult to penetrate her deeply if a good tongue lashing is administered prior.

... as that sometimes is a needed thing. Kind of like needing to give a guy a little sucky-sucky to get him erect before a porkfest can commence... sometimes a gal's juices are kinda dry that day and drank some, etc -- so ya need to at least "warm up the car". If she refuses that being done in those situations, that's when it becomes a real issue for me.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 955
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/4/2016 9:57:52 PM
Double Standard should be expected because the proceedures are NOT the same.

Giving a guy a BJ can be done virtually anywhere and to any extent from quickie to full swallow in just a few minutes.
Giving a gal a BJ is a complex manuever ( unless she's in a skirt ) and isn't typically requested as a quickie - meaning more work and more complicated work. And there's the added factor of blood, so hey, not the same at all.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 956
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/5/2016 6:12:53 AM

Giving a guy a BJ can be done virtually anywhere and to any extent from quickie to full swallow in just a few minutes.
Giving a gal a BJ is a complex manuever ( unless she's in a skirt ) and isn't typically requested as a quickie - meaning more work and more complicated work. And there's the added factor of blood, so hey, not the same at all.

You make a good point, but that's in a different context, though. That would be double-standards on "Oral quickies, anytime, anywhere" sort of thing. Of course, a guy could finger a gal actually Easier than she giving a BJ, and do it more inconspicuously. So as far as any "Anytime, anywhere" fooling around with the other's 'parts' -- there doesn't have to be a double-standard. And a few women can come pretty darn quick like a guy, but again, orgasm doesn't necessarily have to be part of the whole shebang (no pun intended).
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 957
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/5/2016 4:03:43 PM

It's not really that. Guys do know that not every woman's a fan of it. Technically, not Every guy likes a gal going down on them. It drives the guy crazy who does go down on girls, when the girl Refuses, when he hasn't even tried. Or she grunts and groans about it, which, kind of ruins it all. It indicates she has some issues/uncomfortability about her her "parts down there".


I had an ex who never liked me going down on her, the first time I tried it I was down there for a few seconds until she pulled me up, she didn't like my hands or my face down there at all and then she revealed to me that she was molested when she was 6, she was asleep and woke up to a neighbor going down on her. After that I didn't try anymore, she herself loved giving head though.

Other women are completely surprised though when I go down on them and it's happened enough times that I'm finding out that many men just won't give oral. At the same time, I use to have sleep with a girl who didn't have the patience for any kind of foreplay, if I tried to finger her it lasted 30 seconds and that was it, if I wanted to go down on her, she would get impatient when she gave head it was to get me hard and that was it. The thing she was tight and dry constantly, all of the foreplay, me kissing her, fingering her, giving oral was to get her wet her impatience became annoying to the point that it became a turn off and I stopped having sex with her.
 hotcomedianchic
Joined: 10/24/2011
Msg: 958
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/22/2016 7:31:20 AM
I agree I've experienced that too. I'll just keep looking for a man who will teturn the favor gladly.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 959
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 7/22/2016 9:23:10 AM

Other women are completely surprised though when I go down on them and it's happened enough times that I'm finding out that many men just won't give oral.

Yeah, I strongly believe a majority of women like a guy going down on them -- even if they don't get off so much from it. That's why I raise an eyebrow if a gal doesn't want it. But your example of a gal having that done to her at age 6 is understandable. Besides something like that applying when they're a young adult, I'll always see it as a red flag in relation to their persona if they're Truly Anti receiving it down there.

I use to have sleep with a girl who didn't have the patience for any kind of foreplay, if I tried to finger her it lasted 30 seconds and that was it

Yeah, unless it's one of those day-time moments during a lunch break from work or something -- yeah, that's something one needs to understand that isn't going to be so popular with many folks as The way... especially if they're tight & dry or kinda soft walking into it. I understand sexual relations is thinking straight from emotion, but you'd think after a little while, thinking cerebrally would end up putting things into perspective for a better time for themselves & others.
 RobW4690
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 960
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 8/21/2016 10:22:58 PM
I will most likely be the bad guy in this thread. I am one of these guys. I love getting and I dont give.

But my reasoning behind it is I can clean my entire area. I can polish the entire pole as if its a new toy. You cant do that for a female. A vagina will look used the more its penetrated. I just dont want my mouth and tongue touching the same exact area another mans penis was. That grosses me out. It also depends on the look of the girls vagina also. Now would I consider it ever? Sure. If I took a girls virginity and I was the only man shes ever been with and her vagina wasnt weird looking to me id be more than willing. But I could never go down on a girl thinking "ya know, another mans junk was all up on this area before." It makes me feel as is im going down on a male also.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 961
view profile
History
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 8/21/2016 11:38:05 PM

But my reasoning behind it is I can clean my entire area. I can polish the entire pole as if its a new toy.

True, true. It's like a pogo-stick, yes...

You cant do that for a female. A vagina will look used the more its penetrated.

That's actually not true. Sure, if by extreme measures and such (without Kegels) -- but it's more of age which is associated with things. No, man. Don't fall for the trap that because a girl feels really tight she's had little experience, or if she's in the opposite direction that she's a party favor. Both are Untrue.

I just dont want my mouth and tongue touching the same exact area another mans penis was.

Unless you're virgin-hunting, good luck with that. She doesn't want a guy whose pee-pee was where another gal's was. Oh, wait -- it's one-sided right, and all about us, right? Uhhh, not so fast. :)

f I took a girls virginity and I was the only man shes ever been with and her vagina wasnt weird looking to me id be more than willing. But I could never go down on a girl thinking "ya know, another mans junk was all up on this area before." It makes me feel as is im going down on a male also.

Dude, I think we thought a Bit this way at least when we were under 21, new to things, etc. But do you want to make out with a girl after a great date when you know she's (shudder) swapped tongues with another guy? It's the Same Thing. You're running off emotion. Sure, you nor I would want that if Greg was there within 24 hrs doing the same thing. Then it hits us, yep. But if that's not the case? Which it almost always won't be (unless we chase someone who Is like that on purpose) -- mow your damn lawn, and chill the heck out. ;)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 962
boy, that sucks
Posted: 8/22/2016 9:38:58 AM
well Rob, you admitted you might be the "bad guy", and you might not be alone. I suspect there are some husbands out there who watch a birth, all that blood and everything else coming out of their wife's vagina, and lose their desire to eat at the Y. Or they lose interest in penetration, not wanting to "hurt" their wife. Our second largest sex organ (after our skin) is our brains, and there are people who love anal, and those who think about all the intestinal remnants found there. if you can find a lover who isn't looking for a cunning linquist, then bully for you both.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 963
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 8/26/2016 8:11:31 AM
Msg 1218

" I just dont want my mouth and tongue touching the same exact area another mans penis was. That grosses me out. "





So by that reasoning, I assume you don't like to KISS a woman's MOUTH either, right ?
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 964
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 8/26/2016 2:03:50 PM
robw4690,

Prepare to be a very lonely man with those strange ideas.
How can you kiss a woman who has had another guy's dik in her mouth?
By your reasoning, you can't put it where another man has been, either?
You have some serious homophobic ideas...

You can't see a vagina; it's tucked up inside--you know, the canal?
Vulva is what I think you mean, and every woman's look different. just like penises.
I don't even want to know why you think you can tell how much it's been used by looking at it.
I think you're actually afraid and intimidated by them.

I would think you were funny, if not so sad and immature.
 InnerGorilla2
Joined: 8/1/2016
Msg: 965
Double standard on Oral?
Posted: 8/26/2016 2:15:05 PM

If I took a girls virginity and I was the only man shes ever been with and her vagina wasnt weird looking to me id be more than willing. But I could never go down on a girl thinking "ya know, another mans junk was all up on this area before." It makes me feel as is im going down on a male also.


That is very screwed up. And a huge double standard. Maybe women should ignore you because your ding dong have been in other cookies and she does not want to think about that. Unless you find yourself a secret trove of virgins, most women you will find have had some experience and had a sausage in their taco before.

I love giving because what I want is the woman to have an orgasm or to drive her to the edge. The more satisfaction that she gets, the more I do that, the more she wants me, and the more I get. Win win.
 InnerGorilla2
Joined: 8/1/2016
Msg: 966
Double standard on OooooOOOooooral?
Posted: 8/29/2016 1:32:10 PM

Um, all in the interest of science, of courseā€¦.


Science is a brutal mistress that demands facts and clear empirical results, where experiments can be recreated over and over and over and over again.

One deviation of the hypothesis and/or introduction of other corrupting elements to the experiment and they will require to start all over again. And test, test, test again until it screams the infallible results.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Double standard on Oral?