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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why must the guy do it all?      Home login  
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 Rozewater
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 51
Why must the guy do it all?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
they dont have to put forth any effort to attract men.


Tell that to the cosmetics and fashion and hair-styling and lingerie and (mens) girlie magazine industries.

Really though, I understand what you are saying. As I said before most women want the man to take the lead, and so many men are lousy at it. And yes, I know and understand that many men resent that and they want the woman to take the lead. So as I said, write that in your profile. You will wait a while for a woman to actually take the lead but at least you will get what you want.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 52
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 2:31:41 PM
Jason ... what the hell are you chasin'?

Up your picker man!
 jasonsgt
Joined: 1/30/2011
Msg: 53
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Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 5:22:43 PM
Im not chasing anything. Have never and will never. I leave games to the kids on the playground.

I wasnt trying to say that women should take the lead. I was just saying that it would be nice to be met half way. Im not going to do all the work when its an unsure bet if it will even pay off. If met half way and things dont happen(sparks, ect..), then its not so bad because there wasnt too much invested on my part...and we BOTH gave it an equal effort.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 54
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Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 5:40:17 PM
good grief men don't start complaining now about having to make the first move!!! it's like the last thing left a "man" is supposed to do!


And another thing (LOL!)...... so what's up with this habit some women seem to have, of attacking mens' masculinity every time there's a "difference of opinion"? We may disagree on a lot of things, but when's the last time any female has had their very "womanhood" called into question over it (and we ain't talking about "homa-sekchuls" either)?!

 jaa321
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 55
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 5:50:16 PM
I approach people I am interested in, I thought it was part of being a grown up! I don't think it screams desperate, it says someone is assertive and confident.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 56
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 7:18:09 PM
In this day and age, it does go both ways OP. But as males our role is to initiate to the females. Why? it's always been like that for years. Females don't like timid men.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 57
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Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 8:30:23 PM
Um, timid women ain't so swell either.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 58
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Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 9:37:14 PM
OP, I wouldn't listen to anyone who tries to make you feel ashamed or less of a man because you have this problem. They may have their own reasons for telling you, in effect, "Hey, Jack--life's tough all over. Man the f*** up, and jump in there!" In this case, I don't think sucking it up and jumping in is the smart move--it may make things worse.

A couple things to keep in mind. Very few people--if any--are 100% confident in every last area of their life. Like you, they may only lack confidence in one area--but yours happens to be a very important one. And remember that even the bravest guy may have an unreasonable fear of something, at some point--we're all just flesh and blood.

Here's a suggestion. Make it a point to smile, say hello to, or strike up a conversation with people, no matter their sex or age, anytime and anywhere you have the chance. Smile, look them in the eye and show some interest in them. It may not feel quite natural at first, but it will as you keep doing it. It will also come to feel easier to do those same things to women you're attracted to. For all you know, you'll be making their day.
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 59
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 9:38:22 PM
I think the OP expects them to expect him to expect them to expect him to do everything. It doesn't have to be that way.
 CumberlandIsTheBestLand
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 60
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/9/2011 9:40:58 PM
If a woman ever makes the first move, I'd say she is a keeper.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 61
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 4:42:52 AM
Portugal
New Zealand
Korea
Japan
Ukraine
hell even Bahrain, Afghanistan, Uzbekistan - get passport, pack bags, GO
spend a year. If it doesnt change your mind - you were probably already dead to begin with.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 62
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 5:46:28 AM
U have alot to learn 'grasshopper'...ahhh ur prolly too young to remember...anyways..its just the law of the land..its no different than in the animal kingdom..men chase..women run and (sometimes) relinquish.
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 63
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 5:58:26 AM

men don't buy a woman a drink until he's seen her naked ...

sex by the third date or stop dating...


I saw this,too and just laughed coz that particular Poster is clueless but keeps postin' the same ole CRAP on every Thread he responds to.
As to Op..........some women have no problem at all approaching men and initiating conversation.
If you dont have unrealistic expectations,its easy peasy.
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 64
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Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 6:05:59 AM

so what's up with this habit some women seem to have, of attacking mens' masculinity every time there's a "difference of opinion"?
Its not just women attacking our label of masculinity. I've heard many a guy say "You're not a real man." I'm perfectly content on being a fake man if that's the case.
 keppiegirl
Joined: 4/27/2011
Msg: 65
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 11:03:14 AM
cause i like to watch them do it all
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 66
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Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 11:32:35 AM
... which is fine for the types that enjoy being "(co)dependent"!!
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 67
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 11:51:00 AM
My goodness, you are just three days into being on this site and at 23yrs young, are on the forums asking why must the guy do it all?

Give it and yourself some time, I think you'll find it isn't at all as how you think it is.
As someone else here posted, pull up your man pants!



 gumpy67
Joined: 2/18/2005
Msg: 68
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 12:57:13 PM
ya know sometimes men like to be chased instead of being the chaser for say i find it very appealing when the woman "asks" me to dinner and or out to do something.but as a man think too many people base their realtionships on looks and not personality
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 69
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 4:23:26 PM
the man who does not learn to cook for himself will end up starving, or addicted to take out
Learn some skills - you may appropriately find that your 'need' for a girl was actually more domestic than emotional - and look at all that you just escaped.
ps, Ramen / Mac & cheese aint cooking - warm up the Rachel Ray or Giada
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 70
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 6:40:05 PM
Guys aren't the only ones who initiate. Women are very active. They organize social events. They share information on available men. They push. They prod. They tease. They send out invitations. They do a lot to encourage men to get together with women. If you join a sports club it's the women who organize the parties and dances.

It's been said that only the bold get the fair. Not quite true. Shy men can meet women. They have to be clever about it. Use your brain. Think it through. Women spend a lot of energy getting women and men together. Take advantage of it. Being where the women are is half the job. After a while you get used to it, relax, and have a good time. You don't have to boldy walk up to a woman and ask her out on a date. It can be sublte and indirect.

It is true that a lot of women stand around wishing, "pick me, pick me", instead of doing anything. If they were smart they'd target a man and work on him. Perhaps if the OP were more aware of his social surroundings he'd notice women's interest.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 71
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Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 7:22:40 PM

They organize social events. They share information on available men. They push. They prod. They tease. They send out invitations. They do a lot to encourage men to get together with women. If you join a sports club it's the women who organize the parties and dances.


Setting up a venue is not the same as approaching a guy and starting a conversation. That also goes for all of the tips & tricks that women use to hint at being interested so as to get the guys to do the approaching.


Shy men can meet women.

I wonder what caliber of women those kinds of guys attract, and how long they have to wait. One of the most common things I hear women claim that they want in a man is confidence.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 72
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 8:07:56 PM
Let's just summarize this thread with the fact that men don't "have" to do anything. They can quite easily choose to walk away from it all and go do something they find more productive...like fishing, for instance.
 PasionLatina0529
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 73
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/10/2011 8:23:26 PM
Since Adam & Eve..Man was the one in charge. He did the outdoor activities and the woman indoor. However, fast forward to the 2000's and that is way totally different. My sisters (married 34 yrs and 27 yrs respectively) had it easy back then in way - no online dating and bad dating experiences. Me not so lucky..and yet I try to talk up to a guy and find the same feeling of rejection. Times have changed.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 74
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Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/11/2011 3:48:47 PM
My mom once told me that if a woman is interested she should be friendly and “send out the signals”.

But NEVER approach a man first. Because if you do, it is possible that he will just respond in order to string you along for sex, to have someone to fall back on till he meets a woman her really likes, or whatever .

If a man does care anything about you he will “Man Up” and make the first move, she said.

I have followed that advice, been courteous and friendly toward everyone, and had plenty of dates. But I have NEVER wasted one minute on anyone who thought so little of me that he would sit back and wait for me to come to him. That is for women who wind up getting treated like crap – and dumped.

Of course there are exceptions. But I prefer a man who shows me he cares for me at least as much as I care about him from the get-go.

I am taken now -- but by a man who thought enough of me to get to know me a little, then ask me out, then ask ME out.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 75
Why must the guy do it all?
Posted: 7/11/2011 3:59:32 PM
"Let's just summarize this thread with the fact that men don't "have" to do anything. They can quite easily choose to walk away from it all and go do something they find more productive...like fishing, for instance."

Dear sweet Jebus - she speaks the truth so often.
Opting out is the best selection you have yet to make !
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