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 Manysmiles22
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 51
Dating in your 70sPage 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I'm on here because women over 60 definitely outnumber men! Period! It isn't that I can't attract them. I can't find them. I am 66. Some of the men I have met in their early 70's can give much younger men a run for their money. The one I would have married was diagnosed with cancer almost as soon as we met & has since died.

I've found in the few total months I've actually been online & dating, that my best bet is guys about 3 to 5 years younger than I am. Like many other "older women", I have had guys in their mid-30's beg for sex. I've also been by-passed by guys my age who want younger women. The youngest guy I have been willing to date was 15 years younger. We have become friends.

While many men in their 60's & 70's think that having a younger woman will help them regain their lost youth, there are some great guys who like mature women for who they are & realize that age is only a number. The problem is that there aren't very many of them & the good ones get snatched up quickly--or they don't live near those of us who would appreciate them!!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 52
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Dating in your 70s
Posted: 11/28/2011 7:23:30 AM

Manysmiles22:

I'm on here because women over 60 definitely outnumber men! Period! It isn't that I can't attract them. I can't find them.


I have not seen any solid evidence of that, but my own experiences seem to bear it out. I am not and have never been handsome, or “hot”. Women have never thrown themselves at me. But here I am, at the age of 60, and I find it easier to get a date than ever before in my life.

But at the same time, harder to make a connection with anyone. I have gone on a great many initial meetings, the great majority of which do not lead to a second date. I just try to enjoy the initial meetings, and hope for the best.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 53
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Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 11/28/2011 7:38:16 AM
Just out of curiousity, why do you think all this dating is not resulting in a 'connection'?


^^Could be any number of reasons "why" they didn't result in a connection. I have been on a few myself, most with ending with a hug and thanks for meeting up. Your post infers something is wrong with someone if they have a fair number of meets without results. Based on your statement, I must be one f-d up mess!

OT: Dating into your 70's? Heck, why not if you are able! Just like anything else, we may be older but as long as we have the ability, go for it!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 54
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Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 11/28/2011 7:52:42 AM
Could be that when he explains his interest in finding a woman that is interested in making love 3 times a day that it scares them off. Happens to me all the time!
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 55
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Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 11/28/2011 7:53:13 AM
Winter, thanks for the clarification. Guess you could read your statement both ways, yours and mine. And you do have some good reasons for the no connection. All these things factor into a relationship, but they have to be for both sides, which overall, is what I think makes online dating difficult. Hard to get both parties to "fit" no matter what the age...least that is how I see it.
 liketo
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 56
Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 11/28/2011 4:27:10 PM
Molly, sometimes it is the "genes" also. Some families are ridden with cancer. I live in Canada, and a Doctor told me the average man only makes it to 65 years. Hence, all the widows in their 60's.

I have a long living family, Dad's sister 102 years. Mom, 98 years. No cancer.

I think we should be able to post our health score, and then my old 71 years could look appealing. I enjoy water skiing, slalom or double, can walk up and down big hills, and i build and maintain web sites for younger people .

I see the same ladies on the meet me page , and many should be matched up. Are they too particular , too afraid to meet, looking for the allusive but best male? Is there any solution, any way we can have a nuance of our minds?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 57
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Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 11/28/2011 8:46:34 PM

WinterWithFLowers said:
Just out of curiousity, why do you think all this dating is not resulting in a 'connection'?



MoonChild51:
Your post infers something is wrong with someone if they have a fair number of meets without results.



WinterWithFlowers:
I am truly curious why he is getting a lot of first meets but no second date. Was not implying anything about him but about the situation as it is being talked about here, that men his age are so much in demand, yet the meets are not turning into further dating. Maybe it's the women he is meeting. Maybe they are undesirable, or maybe they are too picky. Who knows? That's why I was asking.


Fifty initial meetings with fifty different women, fifty different reasons why it didn’t go further.

Sometimes there is just no magic at all, for either party. Sometimes I want to go further, but when I try, she really doesn’t want the same. Sometimes I feel the lady would be interested, but something happens that drives me away. I met one woman who was an auditor. At the end of the initial meeting, I felt like I had been audited. (smile)

I met one woman who is in a position of authority over many people. She bossed me around, or tried to, on the initial meeting. “That’s enough talk about cars.” No polite change of subjects, just a flat statement.

I have met women who were at least 10 to 15 years older than their profile and pictures indicated. While I am fairly open about such things, and date as many women who are older than me as those who are younger, 75 is a l-i-t-t-l-e too far.

I just posted two nights ago about feeling a bit melancholy. I had just gotten home from a second date with a woman for whom I felt some excitement, and she indicated no third date was going to happen. Made me a little sad, but I’m back on here, swinging at the ball again. It is hard to find that excitement, and when you do, you need a lot of luck for the other party to feel the same excitement.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 58
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Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 11/28/2011 9:22:31 PM

In Canada the male life expectancyis 78.3. Maybe it's your doctor's patients that only make it to 65. If I were you, I'd get another doctor.

In that area, it could be prolongued exposure to the Chinook winds. Or too many Tim Horton donoughts.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 59
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Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 11/29/2011 1:44:24 PM
at my last EKG stress test w/sonogram of my heart ... my cardiologist said I was in the high 90th percentile of health for those of my age and said he wouldn't be surprised if I made it to my 120th birthday ... I said I expected HIM to be there, taking care of me ... and he agreed he would be ... (the man's 2 years older than I am!)

genes certainly ... life style, too ... luck ... choices ... attitudes ... everything factors into it ...

now that I've learned I'm going to probably live so long ... I'm gonna have to find more interesting things to do!
 TuffGuy666
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 60
Dating in your 70s
Posted: 11/29/2011 1:46:14 PM
What? No nice elderly gentleman at the bingo parlor?
 liketo
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 61
Dating in your 70s
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:55:56 AM

In that area, it could be prolongued exposure to the Chinook winds. Or too many Tim Horton donoughts.

That is just too funny! Batten down the hatches, and hold on to our sanity,and good fish'in.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 62
Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/1/2011 11:30:03 AM

Just out of curiousity, why do you think all this dating is not resulting in a 'connection'?


According to what most men have told me that I meet from here at dances they say most women do not bother to respond.. So I am not sure how much dating is really going on.. I think in reality most just take a look at his picture and profile and delete their emails..

Others might meet and find an ex still in the picture, or a gent close to living on a park bench if one of their children had not taken them in..

Rags for clothes and dirty fingernails will not get takers..
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 63
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/1/2011 12:45:19 PM
^^^^^^Champagne tastes........
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 64
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/1/2011 1:33:10 PM

nativerock said:


Just out of curiousity, why do you think all this dating is not resulting in a 'connection'?

I think in reality most just take a look at his picture and profile and delete their emails..

The majority of my initial messages never receive a response, this is true. But that is just a numbers game. If you are in a large metropolitan area, just send out more initial messages.



Others might meet and find an ex still in the picture, or a gent close to living on a park bench if one of their children had not taken them in..

Rags for clothes and dirty fingernails will not get takers..


There is no ex in the picture, I own my own home (paid for, no mortgage), and my fingernails are clean. Granted, I do not spend a lot of money on clothes, nowhere near what most women spend, but I dress neatly, in clean clothes. Perhaps that is why I can find many opportunities for initial meetings?

But the question here is, “Why do all of these initial meetings result in so few ‘connections’?”

Sometime I reject the woman, sometimes she rejects me. Sometimes we just bore each other. We are all getting harder to please, more set in our ways, as we get older.

And perhaps it has just a little to do with what rearguard has mentioned. I do bring up the subject of sex. Politely, with decent manners. I don't expect sex on the first meeting, or on the first date, or by any time table. But I do expect to enjoy a healthy sex life with any woman whom I was to date. I'm sure this has run off a few potential connections.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 65
Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/1/2011 3:37:54 PM
...Oh please, please. I'm desperately hoping that I'm still not on a dating site in my 70's. Or worse yet, (I've just had a visual)...me in some damn nursing home chasing after the males in my walker.


...mae
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 66
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/1/2011 4:10:28 PM
ohenryx ...

no matter HOW politely or with decent manners you "bring up the subject of sex" ... that's the kiss of death to any potential relationship for me ... and I'm REALLY interested in that topic ... but ... to politely with good manners bring it up ... noooo ... not happening ...

like Winter said ... you use your powers of observation, look at the body language ... you should be able to TELL whether the woman is intrested ...

a man I was meeting for the 1st time showed up about 10 minutes late ... no biggie ... he was relatively surley ... ehhh ... I can maybe live with that ...

he was somewhat rude to the waiter ... now, THAT'S a red flag ... but ... ya know ... give him a chance, maybe he's nervous ...

THEN he INFORMED me that I had a free pass for tonight but he would EXPECT sex on any and all subsequent dates ... he EVEN had the good manners to tell me how pretty I was ... but ... nooooo ... it doesn't work that way ...

I'd prefer to know more about a man that the little he submitted before I'd put myself in a position of being expected to "put out" on the 2nd date ...

pathetic ... the guys in high school had more idea of how to act on a 1st date ...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 67
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/1/2011 8:56:30 PM
I'm sure that some women are going to have negative reactions. And that's okay, really. If you can't discuss sex like a rational adult, then we are not a match. Just that simple. Many women can, many women can't or won't. I'm only interested in the women who can.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 68
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:17:28 PM

If you can't discuss sex like a rational adult, then we are not a match. Just that simple.

All I can say, it's much more fun doing it than discussing it.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 69
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:47:46 PM
I agree with WinterFlower that discussing sex in the interview style is crass. A bit like a cattle auction.
An intelligent and sensual 60-year woman will give you enough subtle signals to decide on the next date. And if there is no mutual attraction, why to even waste time by bringing up the sex?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 70
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/2/2011 6:10:36 AM
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, of course.

When I meet a woman, in person, in the first few seconds I am either attracted or I am not. If I'm not attracted, I would never discuss sex, or a 2nd date, or anything much other than the weather or other completely innocuous subjects. Get through the 30 minutes and take my leave.

If I sense that the woman is feeling no attraction, then I do my best to make it easy for her to get through the ordeal painlessly and then take her leave. If there seems to be a certain minimum amount of attraction, then all bets are off.

If we talk on the phone for more than 10 minutes before the initial meet, there is at least 50/50 odds that sex has been discussed before we actually meet. And not always brought up by me. I have been asked countless times if I am on blood pressure medicine, and we all know where that comes from.

Others may have had completely different experiences, but in my experience people who cannot or will not talk about it are not very good at it. And if I am ever again to be involved in an LTR, then that part of the relationship will have to be good. And my partner will have to be willing to talk about it.

My life, my choice. Each of you has your own life, and you are allowed to make your own choices, just as I am.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 71
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:08:19 AM
Perhaps I could better illustrate what I am talking about by quoting a woman, from right here on the POF foroums. Not this forum, and not this thread, but it IS highly applicable.




Perhaps this discussion should be better titled "when do you share what you like/dislike with regard to sexuality?" ??? And my answer to that? I have no idea. I think it differs for everyone and I've shared who i am too early before and a potential bf has shared who he was too late...lol I prefer to share earlier than later, mostly b/c a good sexual fit is SO important to me in a relationship...but I'm pretty sure other people would feel differently if sex is less important to them.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 72
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Dateing in your 70iest
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:14:33 AM
To me, the entire point of dating at any age is to find a sexually compatible partner. You don't date to find friends. After you are into a relationship you don't date. Yes, there is more to a relationship than just sex, but there is no relationship without a sexual dimension.

How its approached is a matter of experience, sensitivity and skill level, but those who deny that it should be approached are.......

sleeping by themselves!
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 73
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Dating in your 70s
Posted: 12/2/2011 11:31:59 AM
Ohenryx on 11/28/2011 ... "I have gone on a great many initial meetings, the great majority of which do not lead to a second date. I just try to enjoy the initial meetings, and hope for the best."

personally, I don't care how he handles his dating ... thought that was an invitation for suggestions ... shrug ...

 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 74
Dating in your 70s
Posted: 12/2/2011 7:14:31 PM
Men OF ANY AGE bringing up the question of "Sex" on a first or second date to *me* are a total turn-off.
What's the hurry? Is your time more precious than mine? Are you going to drop off the perch tomorrow?
All my life ive never been questioned about sex on a date.Its something that's naturally evolved as we've gotten to know each other,but i dont mean over months and months - if there's an attraction :)
My current man and i got to know each other so naturally and we were so engrossed in our conversations and getting to see how our minds ticked,i can honestly say the subject didnt come up at all for quite some time but during the interim period,i was become more and more fascinated by him. Of course,later i found out that it was on his mind a lot,but to his credit,he didnt ask or act upon it right away. The time he 'allowed' in getting to know him made me MORE interested in him.
So,when we finally hit the sheets,the sex was explosive, and continues to be so.
 FloridaLady46
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 75
Dating in your 70s
Posted: 2/29/2012 7:33:18 PM
OP - Tell your mom that I have found all the 70+ men. They are alive and well and living in Florida and sending messages to women my age, 50.
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