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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?      Home login  
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 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 17
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I have no emotional feelings toward him


Having emotional feelings towards someone IS the reason why you want to date someone. Good looks, tons of money is fun at first but, it will not bring long lasting happiness.
 KreweOf2
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 18
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/10/2011 8:44:08 PM
No.


Yes.


Next question?
 Sportsfreak89
Joined: 12/28/2010
Msg: 19
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/10/2011 8:55:40 PM
If it's you only find him outerly attractive I would say no. If it was innerly attractive I would say yes. Based on how you described your situation, this guy sounds like an innerly unattractive lamea** so therefore my advice answer is no.
 *adventurousme57*
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 20
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/10/2011 9:01:17 PM
Ohhh. I can relate. I dated one like this. It's an endless cycle of drama and heartache. Is the sex really that good? If it is, stay with him until you're done...you will anyway.
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 21
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/10/2011 9:28:18 PM
If he's that attractive to you just USE him for sex.

Sounds like a complete ***hole to me.

Maybe duct tape his mouth so he doesnt speak.
 destructodave
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 22
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Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/10/2011 10:14:11 PM
I find it funny this guy is automatically considered a loser and a dog and everyone keeps saying use him up for sex even though thats not what he wants out of the relationship. And we dont even know what YOU called him in the same arguement.

I just feel like you threw that line in there to garner some pity from us, but maybe he is a real ass who knows? But what does that make you or anyone here who endorses using the guy up for sex when you explicitly said that was not what he wanted at all, he wanted a relationship, so everyone here is in agreement to just use this guy dry till the next one pops up?

How is that any better then name calling? I think its worse. I'm sure you have tossed in your 2 cents occasionally.

Anyways just break up and go on. Don't use the guy unless thats what he wants too. Be the bigger person if he is a tool.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 23
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 2:43:08 AM
is he Brad Pitt Hot ?
George Clooney Stylish?
Jim Carey funny?
Wilt Chamberlain tall ?

com'on you know you are keep him; until the next tall dark pony comes along.
 Karebeargirl8
Joined: 6/7/2011
Msg: 24
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 3:21:23 AM
no i do not beleive so if he doesnt treat you well then you deserve someone better honestly.
 Karebeargirl8
Joined: 6/7/2011
Msg: 25
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 3:22:27 AM
and being cute thats all out the window if he isnt honest and good to you.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 26
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 5:44:26 AM
Hmmm this is new to me, usually when a woman despises a man enough to detach themselves emotionally it is game over.
YOU are hurting your psycy move on.
 mau5trap5
Joined: 3/16/2011
Msg: 27
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 6:20:56 PM
Thanks to all for replying to the thread.

I think there's a lot of wisdom in the replies from each of your experiences in dating/relationships of others. And I really appreciate the thoughts that were put forward.

To be honest, the sex isnt even great( read: minute man), he loved it but I just enjoyed how much he loved it. Sounds kinda pathetic when I put it like that haha. All in all, we broke up( at least I think we did? He told me I was cut, and I told him we're through, but hopefully it takes this time, we've broken up around 10 times now...), he's still calling me "babe", not sure if he thinks we are still together since we've always gotten back together. It came to be that he was an accessory to the perfect life to want to appear to have, but that was all it was, an appearance. On paper we were perfect but in reality we were was so flawed and we both knew it.

Like some of you said, I am young, maybe too young to appreciate the different types of men out there aside from the physical ideals that the media constructed for our imaginations. Hopefully I can move on from this without slipping up, and remain strong when I see young, beautiful, successful-looking couples on the street without feeling like I made a mistake.

Thanks for all your help.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 28
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 6:32:47 PM
^^^^ Just told another young one in another post, that you still have a lot of learning and experincing to do.

What you should know,by now, is that the things you do, and the reasons why you are doing them, does define YOU and your character. As long as YOU can look YOURSELF in the mirror and honestly are happy about the choices you make, and why, than you should be okay. As soon as you question yourself, you should think about it for more than a minute, or two.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 29
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 7:21:41 PM
Well....when young...we do get attached to what we have.
The beat up car with dents and bad shocks.
Cus we don't have better, we make do and have fun in the car we have.

but with time....we do get a better car.
and won't ever go back to dents and bad shocks again.
We can still smile from the fun memories though.
as we make much better ones in a much better ride.
:-)

 Titus_Maccius_Plautus
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 30
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 8:40:03 PM
Relationships are like cans of beer. The empty ones are nice and shinny and can even look like they are cold, refreshing and satisfying. Yet, looks are deceiving. Empty cans, like empty relationships leave you unsatisfied and they are easily crushed under the slightest of pressure. Full cans of beer are full of satisfying substance much like a relationship based on love, trust and understanding and they can withstand allot more pressure.

The moral of the story is that relationships based on looks never last.
 arllove
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 31
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Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/11/2011 9:32:27 PM
I sincerely hope you'll take my advice to heart. If there is only a physical attraction, then head for the hills...the relationship doesn't have a chance, with the emphasis on "relationship". Decide what's really important to you, what are you values/his values, do they mesh? Or are you too needy for someone's arms around you so you're settling for hot and heavy instead of a deeper, more meaningful relationship that has a better chance to survive? Is your self-confidence and self-respect in need of a closer look? Only you can answer.
 Theophannia
Joined: 5/7/2010
Msg: 32
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/12/2011 1:44:29 AM
I spent 8 years in a "going nowhere because i cared about him. GET OUT NOW. Trust me. You will do yourself a LOT of good in the future. If spending 8 years in a going nowhere relationship is bad when you LOVE someone, how much more so when you are only attracted?
 cashleys
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 33
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/14/2011 7:26:59 PM
You should not stay with someone that you do not adore. Move on and find someone or be alone. Either is better than pretending. The looks of a person does not encompass all a person needs to have a loving partner.
There was a guy I was very attracted to but he had so many sides, I almost think he had multiple personalities. We all have different sides but this was so distinct.
I had to move on because one minute he was so great and sweet, the next out of the blue mean, and vindictive.
 HappyLibra70
Joined: 5/17/2009
Msg: 34
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/15/2011 12:57:49 AM
Since you asked, yes you should stay with him. Actually go ahead and marry him. You seem to enjoy misery so why not just stay where there's plenty? Really? you need advice on how to manage your life from a lot of strangers? I guess youre hoping someone else will take charge of your life, nice. Good luck with that!

See how rediculous it is? Not trying to bash you, I do the same to my poor children, for whatever reason sarcasm works better than kind, soft, condescending words.

Take charge of your life kid!
 Floramac
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 35
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/15/2011 1:39:22 AM
Consider the long run costs of him or BOB
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 36
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/15/2011 8:25:34 AM
You can keep him around for the sex, but even the sex is going to become empty at one point when you don't have feelings for the person.

I think you need to move on. Every day that you keep him around, is another day that you do not move forward. But unfortunately you are addicted to that condition of having him around, even though is not there, and is not working out.

So really, move on. End it completely.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 37
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Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/15/2011 8:32:34 AM
You are only 22 and obviously not ready to marry and have children. Go ahead and date this guy if you want but why the big rush to settle down? Most young adult relationships go nowhere because you are just learning to be an independent person. This is the time to date, explore, have fun and set yourself up for a great life.
Few people if any are ready for a full commitment at your age.
 mr_ultimo
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 38
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/16/2011 5:36:47 AM
You're young, the hormones are doing all the talking, keep seeing him. If it doesn't change in a few more years when you're both a bit more mature, then let him go. Enjoy it. Live in the moment. Good Luck!
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 39
Is finding him attractive a good enough reason to keep dating him?
Posted: 7/16/2011 8:30:32 AM
It's up to you.
Are you worthy of someone elses time and attention?
If so, why aren't you seeing them instead?
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