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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > no sex/kiss on the first date      Home login  
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 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 26
no sex/kiss on the first datePage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Lets see judging by the average male date rate, I would think that that adds up to alot of sex by 40, in other words, a LOT of sexual partners before me.

Not necessarily. I seem to always end up having sex by date 2 and since I generally end up in relationships with women I've slept with, my partner count isn't all that high. If it took longer than that, nothing ever went anywhere.

Not every date will turn into a second date, kiss or no kiss.

I think it's safe to say that very few first dates will turn into second dates unless someone isn't very decisive.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 27
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 5:58:00 PM

And I don't enjoy chewing on a toy that every pup in the neighborhood and then some had before me.


Contrary to the statement above, what I have noticed is that the more experienced the guy, the more women go after him.

Also the more experience the guy, the better he is in bed. And I mean this not in terms of the number of partners, but into how he has moved from defining sex as a number games, to defining sex as fulfilling one woman's sexual desires for a long time.
 juju62861
Joined: 1/28/2011
Msg: 28
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 8:11:13 PM
Sooo am I screwed if I'm a 19 year old male and want to wait until I am married to have sex? :/ I mean I will do other stuff once I get to know the girl, but I have what's called self control and think with my head above the waist...
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 29
No sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 11:09:17 PM
I agree with 'Yew4....'...It's a matter of being comfortable and timing...
If a couple finds the right chemistry...Go For It...The sky's the limit..!!
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 30
No sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 11:25:18 PM
If I ain't kissing on the first date, I'm not into him...or vice versa, no other reason. I can respect someone making a decision regarding sex but a kiss is taking it a little too far in my opinion.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 31
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/12/2011 11:37:23 PM

Sooo am I screwed if I'm a 19 year old male and want to wait until I am married to have sex? :/ I mean I will do other stuff once I get to know the girl, but I have what's called self control and think with my head above the waist...
It's not a matter of people not thinking with the heads above their waists....it's about them having different values than you. Personally, I would NEVER marry someone I hadn't had sex with. As far as I'm concerned, I don't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first to make sure they're a good fit.... and they're only going on my feet. If you want to wait till marriage, then you just have to find a woman who shares that philosophy with you.

I agree with other posters that if there's no kiss by the end of the first date, there won't be a second date.
 RioElAmante
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 32
view profile
History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 7:25:14 AM
You're a grown adult so I'll tell you the truth. You don't make a guy wait months before you make love to him. Period, you're not in middle school anymore, it's time to make grown up decisions.

I don't view sex as some goal I'm trying to achieve, when two people have that connection and want to explore new sides of eachother.

You made your finance wait 2 years before you sleep with him and you seriously wonder why he cheated on you?

Now you're doing the same thing and wondering why you're not getting different results. You need to grow up. I'm going to give you a sugar coated P.C. answer, I'm giving you the truth.

How is a man going to feel when he's wining and dinning you, spending all of his time and money on you and you treat him like he's your gay best friend?

Stop using your "cookie" as a prize for guys to try to reach for and start acting like a grown woman. I know it sounds harsh but the truth hurts.

If you want a sexless relationship, go date a priest.
 44lookingforsomeonereal
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 33
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 10:22:14 AM
I believe if two consenting people want to have sex on the first date,so be it.Its fantastic having sex with a stranger,its exciting and is probably the most erotic and arousing time to have it.A lot of people say they dont want sex ,they want to take it slow.Well if you happen to fall for someone taking it sloowww and they are NO GOOD IN BED what so ever you probably wouldnt stay with that person.I know I probably wouldn"t.So why not have the sex,it is a huge part of a relationship!
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 34
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 10:30:27 AM
I kissed several of my dates on the first date, but no sex was ever included.


is there any guys out there isnt thinking about sex on the first date?


Give me a break.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 35
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 12:49:42 PM
When there's not even a kiss on the 1st date...(at least, from initial online contact)
it's usually the result of one of the parties misrepresenting themselves in their profile.
Usually, their photo is 4 or 5 years old....before they added 25 pounds oto their waistline, and 5 to their face....
 Iced1071
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 36
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/13/2011 11:02:46 PM
sex on the first date is a turn off, in my opinion..

now a kiss is almost expected on a first date, if it went well... but its not required..

go with what you feel like doin' - just make sure you use protection if you taste the forbidden fruit.
 FirstClassLover
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 37
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/14/2011 5:36:12 AM
How? Explain.

For sex is connecting on a new level, seeing the other side of a person.

Eventually you're going to have sex, how does that turn you off?
 Iced1071
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 38
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/14/2011 8:00:39 AM
Sex on the first date would..Its not the eventual connection.

Its kind of an indication of how permiscous someone is, atleast imo..

I'm not saying I enjoy waiting months or have a set so number of dates - but I just don't expect to bring a girl home to mom if she sleeps with me on the first date.
 eeeasyontheeyes
Joined: 2/22/2011
Msg: 39
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/16/2011 1:52:14 PM
I find most women want sex on the first date. Sometimes I don't feel like it But I do it anyway.
 north-coast
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 40
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/16/2011 2:20:44 PM

I agree with other posters that if there's no kiss by the end of the first date, there won't be a second date.


I have a different viewpoint than others on this thread. No kissing on the first date doesn't always mean no 2nd date for me. Sometimes I have kissed a man on the first date. Other times the first kiss has happened on the 2nd date.
 maxWELL_moSES
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 41
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/16/2011 4:50:29 PM
am new on this site, you are the only woman that says the truth, others are just pretending.it all depends on the state of mind, having sex is not a taboo and delaying it is not a guarantee that the man will still NOT walk of the relationship as soon as he gets it.

i hv only been in america for 7months ,now am ready for a relationship, depriving me of sex is irrelevant. i just hope come in contact with a woman with like mind with u

good job
 ridddder82
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 42
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/25/2011 4:58:59 AM
Hopefully you broach this subject prior to the first date, so then the apparent expectations are laid. Generally my rule has been a hug or kiss on the first date only, and you have to play it by ear cause everyone is different. Have I done more on the first date? Yes, but as a rule I try to avoid it for so many reasons I cannot go into them all now.

The cliche is 3 dates for sex, but I usually let it just happen when you both feel it is right. It may be several months, or longer for some people, and others need a commitment in order to be emotionally ready. There is no magic one size fits all rule we can use for your situation. If you both have great communication skills talk about it, you never know how you both feel about something until you ask.
 jblack187
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 43
view profile
History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 5:53:35 AM
Kissing on the first date is pretty darn acceptable. It may even hurt the guy's feelings if you don't at least give him a peck on the lips.

Having sex on the first date is a bit more...well...it's not really a great idea. I've been down that road a few times in the past, and more often than not it didn't end well.

But making somebody wait for 2 years is just insane. You make it sound like getting to have sex with you is the holy grail or something. Sounds like you don't enjoy sex. Therefore I can't imagine you'd be worth waiting 2 years for.

Extremes are bad on either end. Giving it up on the 1st date is bad. Finally giving it up after the 500th date is worse. Find a happy medium in there somewhere. Or just go full tilt and save yourself for marriage.
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 44
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 1:06:16 PM

Women have sex to get love. Men give love to get sex. So here's the deal.
DO NOT PUT OUT ON THE FIRST DATE. OR THE SECOND. YOUR RULE IS FINE.
As a woman, I can not understand how women how have sex randomly can **** about how men use them for sex. They cant use you for it if you dont give it to them idiot. NEXT:
IF AFTER SEX BECOMES NORMAL THEIR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU CHANGES AND THEY START TREATING YOU WITH LESS CARING AND LOVE GET OUT THEN AND THERE AND CUT OFF THE SEX
The only way women are going to break the used for sex cycle is to stop letting men get away with it.


Suzie on the corner says: "You make my life SO easy.."
 CCsMom
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 45
view profile
History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 6:22:02 PM
This is actually a little annoying from the other end of the spectrum too....

If a woman WANTS a kiss at the end of a nice date, why are there prudish men in this modern era who think thats taboo? (Apparently Im meeting all the throwback guys that think a kiss = sex??)
 Iced1071
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 46
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/26/2011 6:24:33 PM
No kiss on the first date? I usually don't stick around for a 2nd date unless the girl tells me shes see me as more than just a friend and wants to continue to get to know me better...

but i'm not going 2 dates without a kiss because then I won't believe it lol.

Sex,to me, doesn't have a time limit or a number of dates set before that happens...Sex is all about a comfort zone - either you have it with someone, or you don't...but you can't force it.
 Sarcastic_n_Sweet
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 47
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/27/2011 2:45:53 PM
There's a big difference between a guy wanting sex after the first date and before 2 years! 2 years seems like a crazy long time to wait unless you are still in high school. As we mature and grow up, sexual intimacy should become normalized and about bonding with someone. I find it weird that you equate men who don't want to wait 2 years into the same category as men who want it after a date. As adults, sex should naturally progress when the relationship naturally progresses to that point...IMO
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 48
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/27/2011 3:29:46 PM

I agree with abelian. If you are just having a pre-date coffee, then a hug is acceptable. But you expect a guy to plunk down $100 or more for dinner and a movie or concert tickets, and then refuse to give him even a peck on the cheek? If I want to talk to a woman who's only interested in my money, I'll go to a strip club. At least there I can see her naked.


Huh? I don't care what he spends. If I want to kiss him, I'll kiss him even if he doesn't put down a cent for me.

And you should know better than to spend that type of money on women you aren't sure are interested in you. Not all women will pay their share if they are not interested (as evidenced by forums posts AND men I have dated and know as friends).

People are better off not dating if you keep putting money into the equation. You're just as bad as the women going on about the "no sex" thing. All you people who go on about this stuff need to stick together.

Please.

The other thing to keep in mind is that if you are a person who is okay with public displays of affection. That is what could be stopping some people, especially in the situation where you are in a public place and you walk back to your car on your own; so you say goodbye in the middle of the street.

There are so many variables as to why someone might not kiss a man on the first date. I've had men not kiss me and then at the next date admit they wanted to. Had I "tossed them aside" because they didn't kiss me on the first date, I wouldn't have ended up kissing them for the next 4 years (to name one example).
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 49
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/27/2011 4:10:40 PM
Huh? I don't care what he spends. If I want to kiss him, I'll kiss him even if he doesn't put down a cent for me.

Somehow my comment got lost in the translation. Getting a kiss for spending money on dinner would have defeated the puropse of the kiss. I expected a kiss from a woman who was interested in a second date. I really didn't want a woman to give me a kiss if she wasn't interested in a second date, regardless of what I spent. I spent money on dinner because I wanted to go out to eat. The kissing part was just what I expect women to do if they're interested in me and a peck on the cheek is not what I mean by a kiss.
 PasionLatina0529
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 50
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 7/27/2011 4:26:43 PM
Consider yourself lucky if they want to even DATE you! Just saying that lately men are sexting before they even know you (in general I speak). It's nasty and Im getting sick of it but was posted..it can only happen IF we allow it. You have to give yourself the self respect to wait and have that person want to know you. That could be a couple dates or months whatever each is comfortable. The sad thing is that there are women out there that give in to easily to these men, and now they EXPECT every woman to be the same - when we are not!! And if he leave...well he's NOT someone you want. However, I would say giving in to a little kiss is cute and sexy - but that's me. You do whatever is comfortable to you. On the Ex-fiance...cheating.....well there is no given correct answer. PPL cheat whether you're in that stage or married..luckily you didn't marry the guy - would have been worst financially attached to someone who did that to you. Got look at the blessings of when things happen. But don't settle for anything less than you deserve!
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