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 groovygirl69
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 71
no sex/kiss on the first datePage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Waiting 2 years is a bit much. It is only sex. I get waiting past the first date or two for the most part, just to be sure that he isn't just in it for sex, but any longer is just silly and makes the guy wonder if you are even attracted to him or if your sex drive is exceptionally low. Why would a guy want to be with a girl with low sex drive??
 almacg
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 73
view profile
History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/26/2011 4:54:17 PM
Personally, I don't want to date women who are only interested in my personality. I would say.. "Sorry hun but I'm not interested in a shallow relationship". ;)
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 74
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/26/2011 7:25:00 PM
of course guys are willing to have sex on the first date, but remember, in their mind it's okay if they do it, but if you give in, well, they lose respect for you because of it. of course, this is a double standard, but many, many men have sexual hang ups, and this is probably the biggest one. as a general rule it is best to completely avoid having sex with a guy on the first date, or even many dates there after. it's not that it is immoral to have sex on the first date , it's just that the guy will "punish" you for it, forever holding it against you. sure, there are few men out there that do not think like this, but they are few and far between. i always wait to have sex with a guy even if i really, really want to. you just can't risk it.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 75
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 12:07:32 AM

In a female, that behavior might be considered less than honorable.

why is that? proves your strength of character. if the shoe is on other foot, she can tease me all night long I'll just tease her back. It's always mutual, she does get exited but you need to play to win. You are a man and you're stronger.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 77
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 5:46:35 AM
of course guys are willing to have sex on the first date, but remember, in their mind it's okay if they do it, but if you give in, well, they lose respect for you because of it. of course, this is a double standard, but many, many men have sexual hang ups, and this is probably the biggest one.


An old lawyer in Oklahoma taught me that when you point a finger at someone else, you're pointing three back at yourself. Sounds to me like you musta picked up some contagion from one of those sickies you perceive, or from some toilet seat or something.


. . . as a general rule it is best to completely avoid having sex with a guy on the first date, or even many dates there after. it's not that it is immoral to have sex on the first date , it's just that the guy will "punish" you for it, forever holding it against you. sure, there are few men out there that do not think like this, but they are few and far between.


Soooo, it's the girls vs. the boys? That's your world view? sheeeesh


i always wait to have sex with a guy even if i really, really want to. you just can't risk it.


My definition of "old" is when you morph from risk-taker to risk-avoider -
you're old!!!!!
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 78
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History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 8:41:41 AM
A first date is too soon to read anything into what level of intimacy did...or didn't go on.
 andysdad
Joined: 5/14/2010
Msg: 80
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History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:55:29 AM
2 years??!!?? wow. First few dates or whatever is normal i think, but 2 years? I dont think there is anything wrong with a kiss good night if your hitting it of and are going to have a second date.
 PRSweetie70
Joined: 8/4/2011
Msg: 81
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:01:12 PM
2 years? Wow, that's a long time.

 Sunshine-99
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 82
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History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:20:21 AM
I kind of go with the flow. On the 1st date, no kissing or no sex is perfectly fine.

For the 2nd date, I defintiely want some action if our relationship is going somewhere. If not, I usually move on quickly................

But that's just me though.
 _zebra
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 86
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/28/2011 4:07:48 PM

.....and this is why women think of all men as shallow, sex driven dogs.

and i didn't even have to read pages 2-4 to see that

to the OP, there ain't a thing wrong with deciding to NOT rush physicality. i never really understood why (seemingly) everybody nowadays thinks there's something wrong with a person for not trying to instantly gratify every sexual desire that runs across their minds. at least that's the impression i've gotten from internet sites. in real life, it's seemed to be slightly less horndog-ish. i also never understood the whole "i dropped a ton of cash on this date, so she better put out" mentality - especially early on.

personally, the only way i'd consider kissing a woman on the first date is if i'd already known her beforehand. i say stick to the limits you're comfortable with & and any real man who's genuinely interested in more than just your "rate of return" will respect you & wait til you're ready.

heck... even the most liberal women have those days when it's that time of the month & she just happens to have a cold sore.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 88
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History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/29/2011 1:38:22 AM
I like to leave something to look forward to on the second, third, forth dates and beyond. I rarely take the initiative to kiss a woman on the first date but I will on the second if it was a good date. For sex I want to be a month or more into dating a woman. I will sleep in the same bed with them in the first month if we are on a weekend trip or they want me to stay over or they want to stay over but I want a relationship headed in a positive direction before sex. Far easier for me to deal with a breakup or getting dumped this way.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 90
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/29/2011 8:34:12 AM

I refuse to kiss a girl knowing those lips could have been wrapped around anyone else's c0ck yesterday.

I just restricted my kissing to women who practiced good hygiene - showering with soap and water, brushing teeth, the usual sort of thing and I think the women I've generally dated were unlikely to have been involved with someone as recently as the day before I kissed them. Then I didn't have to wonder how long it took cooties to wear off.

However, my reservations have costed me a girl that I feel like I will never do better than.

Well, she could have had cooties. Better safe than sorry.
 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 91
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/29/2011 9:49:22 AM
FWIW, my experience has been no kiss after / during first date means there's no interest in pursuing more than friendship status.

I had sex with my ex-wife of 21 years on our first date. Everyone is different. If it's put out there (sex) I accept it only after establishing what (if any) ramifications are after?
 sleepsafe
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 94
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 11:28:25 AM
Interesting topic, and timely. I had a "meeting" with someone from another dating site last night. We were to meet for a drink, after two she drug me to a bar with some live music. We had a spectacular time. She was far more attractive than her pictures, was a ball of energy, fun, talkative, intelligent. She did not avoid touching me during the evening. At the end of the night I was expecting a kiss. I don't really ever expect sex right away. And my history says sex right away doesn't equal a relationship.

So at the end of the night she says "you have my number" I answered yes and asked if it was ok to call her. She said yes, and I asked her if it was ok to call her, I got a yes. I asked her if we could do this again. She says yes. It's goodnight time at bar closing, and she says I'm not gonna kiss you.....hmmm

She is most definitely a woman I'd love to see again, and someone who is incredible attractive to me. So, the question is, no kiss, and why. Is she being coy and playing the good girl role, do the right thing, make him wait? She is pretty old fashioned. Or was the "I'm not gonna kiss you" the harbinger of being "JUST FRIENDS"?

 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 95
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History
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 8:17:19 PM
I like that thinking Kalie......and think you have something there with that thought process......

Do the second date and find out.....and if you are not sure, have her lead the way....asking, planning and doing....

cd............
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 96
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 10:21:44 PM
She is most definitely a woman I'd love to see again, and someone who is incredible attractive to me.

Then wait for her to call you.

The "I"m not going to kiss you" is also an indication that she was *thinking* about kissing.... In other words, maybe she was telling you that as an indication that she really wanted to, but felt she should wait til the second date to avoid things moving too fast...

More likely she was just heading him off.

Don't write her off!!!

Well, not if she call him for a second date. Otherwise, he's wasting his time with someone who's going to play games with him.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 97
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 10:42:48 PM
I attach little significance to a first-date kiss. It’s not what matters to me. How we feel about each other is what matters, specially over the next date or two.

I suppose a kiss can be a clue to how she’s feeling. Apart from being enjoyable for its own sake. It can be symbolic, a harbinger of things to come.

But there are other clues. And there’s time. Sometimes I’m not sure how I’m feeling after only one date. And I’d rather let the heat build.

If I ever lost a woman for moving too slow, she musta left without telling me.
 MiaCat74
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 99
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/19/2011 9:43:44 AM
I think you shouldnt have so many rules for yourself and treat every individual date as just that
and do what yu choose at the time

I always think it is so cold and robotic to be thinking 'hes made it to x number of dates, today is the day we kiss, and in x more dates then we try the sex'

Rules are only fun to break
 sleepsafe
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 101
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/19/2011 6:34:48 PM
Apparently it ment "I don't want to have any ****ing thing to do with you" No response to emails, no answer of the phone. And this from a woman who said communication and honesty was important to her. WTF is up with that. I know ..SOME..guys do the same thing. Never me. Doesn't work, say so, let everyone get on with what they are doing. BTW I know from the site info she has read the emails.
 NolitaFairytale
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 102
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/19/2011 9:13:04 PM
I don't think anything's wrong with kissing on the first date and I will if I like the person but I totally understand about the sex, I would NEVER EVER have sex on the first date.

I'm sure all guys are thinking about it but you have to find the ones who have the decency not to act on their urges for at LEAST a few weeks!
 xxxno77xxx
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 103
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/24/2011 9:46:56 PM
dating has chaged redically for me recently as I have stopped looking for someone to jump into bed with and started looking for someone to marry. I dont kiss or have sex with anyone. lol this may sound strange coming from a guy but I find that it weeds out the ones that are looking for a meal ticket or just someone to jump in the sack with. When my reelationship with my babys mom ended, jerry springer style, I now have more than just me to worry about as I kept my little girl. I am looking for someone that is fitting for me to share my life with as well as hers. It isnt going so well so far but Im not giving up or giving in. I do however vocalize difrectly when I am interested in some one or start to be ennamered with them. if they take my lack of physical contact negatively then they are either shallow or insecure. Idont need that and my lil princess definately doesnt.
 wildlifelover1979
Joined: 2/11/2011
Msg: 104
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:32:51 AM
I always perfer it kissing on the first date if I know alot of information about her. It depends on thee sex issue and if the woman is trying to use me has 1 time sex. That has happen before.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 105
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:48:55 AM
No sex on the first date, period!

Now about the kissing, If there is no kiss on the first date, it shows you have no physical interest in me, there will be no second!
 VFR294
Joined: 4/1/2011
Msg: 106
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/25/2011 9:07:04 AM
The issue with this is, at least at my age, sex is pretty important. So, you can either have sex on the first date or a few dates after that... and figure out of the sex is good or bad, then work on the relationship part. Or, you can wait till the relationship, then have sex... and find out if its good or bad. Either way, you're screwed. I've had sex on the first date and have the sex be amazing but the emotional connection wasn't there. Just happened to me recently, except I thought the connection was there :\ haha. it sucks.
 aero86
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 108
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 11/26/2011 6:17:13 PM
well, i guess i think of sex probably once a minute, im guilty of it too, but its not the first thing on my mind when going on a date. depends on the signal. i tend to like to get to know a girl first, either through emails, texts or phone calls. so, either the first date goes by just a friends kinda thing, or i get a kiss. the last one happened that way. she kissed me as a matter of fact.
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