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 AUTHOR
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 76
no sex/kiss on the first datePage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

In a female, that behavior might be considered less than honorable.

why is that? proves your strength of character. if the shoe is on other foot, she can tease me all night long I'll just tease her back. It's always mutual, she does get exited but you need to play to win. You are a man and you're stronger.
 Luke_Mpls31
Joined: 8/14/2011
Msg: 77
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 3:19:06 AM
Hate to say it. But it's easy to see how so many relationships go wrong these days when everybody is down to screw on the first date before even really getting to know the person they are getting involved with.

Take your time. Nobody is timing you. It's not beat the clock
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 78
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 5:46:35 AM
of course guys are willing to have sex on the first date, but remember, in their mind it's okay if they do it, but if you give in, well, they lose respect for you because of it. of course, this is a double standard, but many, many men have sexual hang ups, and this is probably the biggest one.


An old lawyer in Oklahoma taught me that when you point a finger at someone else, you're pointing three back at yourself. Sounds to me like you musta picked up some contagion from one of those sickies you perceive, or from some toilet seat or something.


. . . as a general rule it is best to completely avoid having sex with a guy on the first date, or even many dates there after. it's not that it is immoral to have sex on the first date , it's just that the guy will "punish" you for it, forever holding it against you. sure, there are few men out there that do not think like this, but they are few and far between.


Soooo, it's the girls vs. the boys? That's your world view? sheeeesh


i always wait to have sex with a guy even if i really, really want to. you just can't risk it.


My definition of "old" is when you morph from risk-taker to risk-avoider -
you're old!!!!!
 albinosquirlz
Joined: 3/28/2010
Msg: 79
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 8:41:41 AM
A first date is too soon to read anything into what level of intimacy did...or didn't go on.
 MagikMan59
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 80
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:48:40 AM
No sex on the first date, no problem. No kiss on the first date and I probably won't ask her out on a second date. I figure if she won't kiss me on the first date (kiss not make out) she isn't attracted to me as much as I want her to be. I could be wrong but that's what my dating experiences have taught me over the years.
 andysdad
Joined: 5/14/2010
Msg: 81
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:55:29 AM
2 years??!!?? wow. First few dates or whatever is normal i think, but 2 years? I dont think there is anything wrong with a kiss good night if your hitting it of and are going to have a second date.
 PRSweetie70
Joined: 8/4/2011
Msg: 82
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:01:12 PM
2 years? Wow, that's a long time.

 Sunshine-99
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 83
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:20:21 AM
I kind of go with the flow. On the 1st date, no kissing or no sex is perfectly fine.

For the 2nd date, I defintiely want some action if our relationship is going somewhere. If not, I usually move on quickly................

But that's just me though.
 poetfury
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 84
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/28/2011 8:02:57 AM
.....and this is why women think of all men as shallow, sex driven dogs.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 85
No sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/28/2011 10:14:14 AM
No sex on the 1st date is one thing....but...
Not even a Kiss...??
That's like paying your car insurance...!!!
You get nothing.... except the knowledge that you Paid for it...!!!
 69blahblah69
Joined: 2/16/2011
Msg: 86
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/28/2011 10:14:39 AM
There is no wrong for you.

If you told me that I would however not pursue you as a romantic partner. You would be a friend.
 _zebra
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 87
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/28/2011 4:07:48 PM

.....and this is why women think of all men as shallow, sex driven dogs.

and i didn't even have to read pages 2-4 to see that

to the OP, there ain't a thing wrong with deciding to NOT rush physicality. i never really understood why (seemingly) everybody nowadays thinks there's something wrong with a person for not trying to instantly gratify every sexual desire that runs across their minds. at least that's the impression i've gotten from internet sites. in real life, it's seemed to be slightly less horndog-ish. i also never understood the whole "i dropped a ton of cash on this date, so she better put out" mentality - especially early on.

personally, the only way i'd consider kissing a woman on the first date is if i'd already known her beforehand. i say stick to the limits you're comfortable with & and any real man who's genuinely interested in more than just your "rate of return" will respect you & wait til you're ready.

heck... even the most liberal women have those days when it's that time of the month & she just happens to have a cold sore.
 oompa-loompa
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 88
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/29/2011 12:22:19 AM
There here and there, but you have to be proactive and look for them. Guys like that are hard to find, and they're definitely not going to randomly fall into your lap.

So search for that guy, be upfront about your principles and you'll be fine.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 89
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/29/2011 1:38:22 AM
I like to leave something to look forward to on the second, third, forth dates and beyond. I rarely take the initiative to kiss a woman on the first date but I will on the second if it was a good date. For sex I want to be a month or more into dating a woman. I will sleep in the same bed with them in the first month if we are on a weekend trip or they want me to stay over or they want to stay over but I want a relationship headed in a positive direction before sex. Far easier for me to deal with a breakup or getting dumped this way.
 collegestudent19
Joined: 2/5/2009
Msg: 90
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/29/2011 7:58:34 AM
It depends what places you go to I mean. This what happens, females want their man to be muscular, basically sexy. Which 70% are male players and females no comment. I am not saying go search a ugly ass man lol. Just be careful and have a smart convo with the person. I am a male and what I do is make a convo and during the convo I find out, what type a female she is.... Reason smart convo for example: a random male or female most likely wont follow you on a conversation, they will say damn she or he isn't my type. Thats when you know that person is and looking for. Now in the other case, if follows you most likely will be serious. DOES NOT mean is serious, see how long this can last. Until, u feel comfortable.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 91
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/29/2011 8:34:12 AM

I refuse to kiss a girl knowing those lips could have been wrapped around anyone else's c0ck yesterday.

I just restricted my kissing to women who practiced good hygiene - showering with soap and water, brushing teeth, the usual sort of thing and I think the women I've generally dated were unlikely to have been involved with someone as recently as the day before I kissed them. Then I didn't have to wonder how long it took cooties to wear off.

However, my reservations have costed me a girl that I feel like I will never do better than.

Well, she could have had cooties. Better safe than sorry.
 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 92
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 8/29/2011 9:49:22 AM
FWIW, my experience has been no kiss after / during first date means there's no interest in pursuing more than friendship status.

I had sex with my ex-wife of 21 years on our first date. Everyone is different. If it's put out there (sex) I accept it only after establishing what (if any) ramifications are after?
 kcladyz
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 93
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 8:13:26 AM
Every single man i talked to in all the years i been online dting all want sex or sex and a relationship. LOL A man willing to wait that long i think went extinct a long time ago
 granolamartha
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 94
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 10:20:40 AM
OK, I may be hijacking here but can we all stop using the term "give it up" for when a woman decides to have sex. I'm not giving anything up whether it be on the first or 50th date. Sex isn't something that I own and give away to a partner. If WE want to have sex, we will. I hate the term "giving it up;" it sounds like a horrible flashback to the 1950's.
 sleepsafe
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 95
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 11:28:25 AM
Interesting topic, and timely. I had a "meeting" with someone from another dating site last night. We were to meet for a drink, after two she drug me to a bar with some live music. We had a spectacular time. She was far more attractive than her pictures, was a ball of energy, fun, talkative, intelligent. She did not avoid touching me during the evening. At the end of the night I was expecting a kiss. I don't really ever expect sex right away. And my history says sex right away doesn't equal a relationship.

So at the end of the night she says "you have my number" I answered yes and asked if it was ok to call her. She said yes, and I asked her if it was ok to call her, I got a yes. I asked her if we could do this again. She says yes. It's goodnight time at bar closing, and she says I'm not gonna kiss you.....hmmm

She is most definitely a woman I'd love to see again, and someone who is incredible attractive to me. So, the question is, no kiss, and why. Is she being coy and playing the good girl role, do the right thing, make him wait? She is pretty old fashioned. Or was the "I'm not gonna kiss you" the harbinger of being "JUST FRIENDS"?

 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 96
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no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 8:17:19 PM
I like that thinking Kalie......and think you have something there with that thought process......

Do the second date and find out.....and if you are not sure, have her lead the way....asking, planning and doing....

cd............
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 97
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 10:21:44 PM
She is most definitely a woman I'd love to see again, and someone who is incredible attractive to me.

Then wait for her to call you.

The "I"m not going to kiss you" is also an indication that she was *thinking* about kissing.... In other words, maybe she was telling you that as an indication that she really wanted to, but felt she should wait til the second date to avoid things moving too fast...

More likely she was just heading him off.

Don't write her off!!!

Well, not if she call him for a second date. Otherwise, he's wasting his time with someone who's going to play games with him.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 98
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/16/2011 10:42:48 PM
I attach little significance to a first-date kiss. It’s not what matters to me. How we feel about each other is what matters, specially over the next date or two.

I suppose a kiss can be a clue to how she’s feeling. Apart from being enjoyable for its own sake. It can be symbolic, a harbinger of things to come.

But there are other clues. And there’s time. Sometimes I’m not sure how I’m feeling after only one date. And I’d rather let the heat build.

If I ever lost a woman for moving too slow, she musta left without telling me.
 galaxxy
Joined: 6/11/2010
Msg: 99
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/19/2011 8:56:25 AM
a date is time well spent in my eyes. no barriers no boundaries. two people chillin' , getting to know each other is all it should ever be. and if things work out


open concept in the kitchen is where the ****es muff i be kissin' . after dinner. as she's hand cuffed to the oven handle , leg on counter and a fingers play away from the steaming lasagna tray.
 MiaCat74
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 100
no sex/kiss on the first date
Posted: 10/19/2011 9:43:44 AM
I think you shouldnt have so many rules for yourself and treat every individual date as just that
and do what yu choose at the time

I always think it is so cold and robotic to be thinking 'hes made it to x number of dates, today is the day we kiss, and in x more dates then we try the sex'

Rules are only fun to break
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