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 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 31
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in? Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
It's not about thinking we're "too good" ... it's about avoiding the rude messages we often get in return. I quit replying to all messages ages ago. I do try to do the polite thing when someone has obviously gone to a lot of effort to send me a personalised message... and even then I often regret that I bothered.
I agree. About 99% of the messages I get say nothing but "Hi" or "How are you" and it's often very obvious they haven't read my profile (ex. I got one last night from a guy wondering if I could meet up with him that night, even though I clearly state at the start of my profile that I'm moving to the area I'm listed in next month AND that I don't want anyone to message me who wants an intimate encounter). I figure, if someone doesn't take the time to write a REAL message to me, why should I take the time to draft a polite "not interested" to them? (btw, I find 90% of the time when I don't respond to someone, it's not necessarily because I don't find them attractive at all, but because I'm not interested in dating little boys or old men (which 90% of the messages I get are from guys who are just out of their teens or men older than my father).
 GirlMuvinOn
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 32
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/18/2011 1:02:50 AM
Gosh, this is not as easy as just "not responding". I tried to just not respond, but then I got frequent emails telling me how rude I am and saying that I think I am better than them because I deleted their email w/o reading it, etc. It's tough enough to try to go through all the emails and look at the profiles of ones you "might" be interested in and then you have to deal with these people too. And lets face it, you kinda feel bad. Who wants to tell someone your "not interested" beause you know they want to know WHY???? And sometimes they persist and ask why, it's tough. For me it could be as simple as where they live I don't want to date someone that lives 45 mi away from me and that's my choice. And I have told them that and I have had them go on and on about they will drive to me, etc. uuughhhh... So, this is what I have done. I made my profile un-searchable and I just go through profiles of men in my area and shoot an email to the ones I might be interested in. Then if they act crazy while chatting or something, say inappropriate things, etc. I block them. Obviously, that's not a fix that will work for everyone. Some people are not ok with always making first contact or even spending the time it takes to go through the profiles and try to find ones you are interested in... If I wasn't so specific about what I want/ don't want, I probably would just put the block button to good use.... I don't think there is really a right or wrong way of doing it, as long as you aren't intentionally hurtful.- Just my opinion:)
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 33
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/18/2011 7:04:54 AM
I have yet to want to know why someone is not interested in me, and cannot fathom sending them a message asking them why they are passing me by. I get few messages, but would rather receive them that send them, as when I receive them the sender hopefully at least glanced at my profile and sent me a message based on something he saw of interest based on my profile and/or forum post. I do wish that men would state they think large women are repulsive in their profiles, as I not intellectually disabled and can read and comprehend the written word (but then what would they have to gripe about in the forums, as a post about The Eiffel Tower would probably get turned around to blasting large women.)
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 34
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/18/2011 10:21:03 PM

Never need to ask, we know the answer, we don't look the part, and unfortunately to reach their level is next to impossible despite my best efforts at the gym/dieting!
You're assuming they don't respond because of how you look, and what we're telling you is that there are a million reasons why someone may not respond, not limited to:

-you live further away than they are willing to travel
-perhaps they have different relationship goals than you do
-perhaps they want/don't want children and you do/do not
-perhaps they want/don't want a smoker
-perhaps they prefer someone who is taller/shorter than you
-perhaps they prefer blonde hair over brown
-perhaps they only date outside their race
-maybe they're only attracted to obese men
-perhaps they are just turned off by something you SAID in your profile

and many, many more reasons.

For me, if I see a man say he doesn't want children (or prefer not to say), I assume this means ANY children, and seeings how I already have one, that means we wouldn't be a match. Why assume that someone isn't interested just because you don't "look the part"? I get messages from lots of men that are attractive, but I choose not to respond to them for OTHER reasons.
 MsSookieStackhouse
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 35
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/19/2011 12:17:21 PM

I usually just say "Thank you for your email, but I'm not interested. Good luck." When I first signed up on POF, I wouldn't block them. However, I've found that the same people who I sent the not interested message tried again at a later point..so I've learned to say the message, and then block them..


I do pretty much the same thing.

About 90% of the messages I get on here is incoherent nonsense (like the one I got today that said "i lik u n ur pics r don 2 eart n u r cool"). I block these guys right away.
 Flying_Changes
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 36
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/19/2011 10:07:13 PM
LukeH, for what it's worth, if I happened across your profile, I would probably send you a message. You're a good looking guy and your profile makes you sound like a pretty fun guy.

However, your forum posts say a lot about you. You come off as being bitter and resentful and you're spitting out a lot of irrational generalizations. If your messages are like your forum posts, no wonder you get no responses.
 johnnyj218
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 37
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/20/2011 10:39:15 AM
Yes I agree with most, just delete the first time then block after that.

Anyone (especially women) saying that they send a "Thanks but no thanks" response, is boll shat straight out.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 38
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/20/2011 12:49:51 PM
It's kind of a crap shoot really. You can go the polite route with a pleasant "no thank you" which often leads to another message stating you look like his gramma after she got run over by a tractor, or something along the lines of "I'm really good at oral". Or you can simply ignore and not respond at all in which case you may be labeled a rude, arrogant b**ch.

Either way they ususally end up going away. If not, the block button will ensure they do....
 Flying_Changes
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 39
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/20/2011 7:38:55 PM
Then the hell with the 90%. Start looking in the other 10! :)
 Diancarock1976
Joined: 11/23/2010
Msg: 40
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History
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/21/2011 2:06:00 AM
Just tell him I appreciate the interest or compliment, but I'm looking for something else.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 41
How do you turn down someone on here that you are not interested in?
Posted: 7/22/2011 10:24:07 AM
do not reply. if you are not interested.
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